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Unintended break up, lying ex


Question Posted Wednesday February 26 2014, 10:55 pm

Weird scenario where I disn't actually intend to send break up text. He got it though. I saw his profile on free dating site we had met on. I panicked and texted him. I explained I didn't really wanna break up and why had he jumped back to dating so fast? He said was just looking around and had no pics so noone knew who he was. Talked about taking some time and meet again later. Two hours later his profile was full of pics, including ones I had asked him to take for me and send me. Ugh. Why lie? Should I call him on it? I am hurt he lied.

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Never2bAlone answered Friday February 28 2014, 2:29 am:
There is really no reason to call him on it. Hes well aware you can see his profile and what he posts so clearly he doesn't care. If you sent him a break up text rather you meant to actually send it or not you did write it. How is he suppose to feel about this? Then you told him you didn't mean to send it, then what is going on? He probably wants a relationship with someone who isn't playing these type of games. Or perhaps he doesn't want to be tied down to one person. Hes within his rights to date whom ever he wishes if hes not in a vomited relationship just as you are. Just because he posted pics and is active on the dating site only proves hes looking to meet new people. If you are serious about pursuing a relationship with him it makes no sense that you would write such a text to begin with. You have to remembe you aren't the only one with feelings.

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karenR answered Thursday February 27 2014, 4:35 pm:
I don't see much point in talking to him again for anything. If he were interested in continuing a relationship he wouldn't have updated his profile on a dating site. You know his game now, it hurts but you will get over it. There are plenty of guys out there, go find you one of them good ones. :)

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Dragonflymagic answered Thursday February 27 2014, 4:33 pm:
Okay so you met on a dating site. Do you know for sure if once he starting dating you that he made his profile hidden or closed it? He may have kept it up to keep dating options open. .

Perhaps dating doesn't mean he has necessarily made a commitment yet to be only with you. For many, even myself as a female, we want to date several people at the same time UNTIL we get to know each one well enough so we can see which person we have the most in common with, the most spark with and who we really want to commit to. Going out on dates is an exploratory thing at first for many. However, lots of females make the mistake of assuming there is a commitment.

Another mistake is having a lack of self confidence. Men are attracted to women with self confidence over women with models looks but no confidence. Confidence is sexy to guys. Dont take my word for it, there are many videos on you tube by dating and relationship experts who spell this out for women. You can look it up yourself or ask me to provide links. Women who are constantly checking up on guys, who act too desperate for a guy send little messages that they are not confident enough in themselves and their personality being enough to attract him. And if he's not attracted or changed his mind, instead of desperate, she's happy to let him go because the confidant woman wants a guy who is really into her, not some what or lukewarm.
So to actually answer that question, do you call him on it? No. There is no reason to.

What gets me is that usually you need to have a profile to look up profiles. I am wondering for what reason you were still using a dating site. Or why you were checking up on him. The woman who behaves as if she could care less if a guy were seeing other women, and not making herself available for him at the drop of a hat, are the ones who actually become more interesting to a guy.
I did free internet dating. Met 2nd husband nd that way. I met a lot of duds first. I screened guys first by a list of what I was looking for in profile. Then by talking on phone and if he passed those screenings, I met with them in person. It was then I discovered things they'd kept hidden or lied about and that was it. The moment any one of them contradicted themselves, or I caught them in a lie, I dropped them. Harsh? No. What a person is really like at core will eventually show itself after they take off their mask of 'good behavior'.
One last thing, I once met a guy from dating site at a coffee shop. He understood that I was checking out lots of different guys and meeting them. However when I got ready to go home he began to beg me, "Please choose me, choose me, Oh I hope you want and decide on me." It startled me to see a guy do what women typically do. And now I knew why guys don't like women who act desperate like that. That guy made himself appear weird, unattractive, wimpy, low self image, maybe effeminate, and desperate and that was a BIG turn off to me. It is the same thing to men.

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