Whether you like him or not, does he really deserve you after calling you a harsh name?

I know theres forgiveness, but did he even bother to say he was sorry? I don't know, this guy needs to show you that he deserves to be with you. And it's ok to like this guy, he's been treating you ok ever since, so I really see no problem except what happened in the past.

But I hope you are careful with what you do. Having a first boyfriend usually means that all of your first mistakes begin. You begin to fall too deeply, and you fall head over heels and it can really put a load on you if he call the relationship off later. So be careful with who you are choosing to be with. It matters in the end with you.


-TheTeenGirl

You've got a lot on your mind to sort out.

I think that you'll always feel a sense of discomfort around your friends because they seem to get a lot of guys. But, does it really make them the girls that your mind makes them out to be?

In other words, schools are full of immature and rude people. People that will make fun of others because of things that people can't control. Why? I don't know, because their friends get a laugh at it. Being on a Hot Girl list does not make you any better than other girls who weren't put on that list. It just makes you another girl that guys are thinking about sexually. Thats why it's a Hot Girl list.

Guys that call you fat, and ugly are the ones who will pay a price. And it will effect the person they are later on. We don't know how, but trust me, it all comes back to them in a matter of minutes, days, or even several years. Plus, would you really want to be added to a list of girls that those morons call hot?

So your friends got added. Yay hooray. What else is new? It's just a list that a jerk made to make other girls feel bad. You aren't the only girl who wasn't added either. I think what you should concentrate on is yourself and your accomplishments with yourself. Be happy for yourself when it comes to something great about you. If you get a good grade on a test, be proud of you even if it's something that happens everyday. Don't let your friends or those guys decide what feelings you feel, and how you feel about yourself. You are not the ugly one in your group, you are just another great and fun girl to hang around with in the group. And it doesn't take a certain appearance to have a great heart and spirit. It takes great character. In the long run, it doesn't come down to what the people around you think, it's what you think.

-TheTeenGirl

This is a very complicated situation, and I bet it's way hard for you to deal with everyday knowing that your common law husband wants this.

I don't know what the right thing to do would be except to try accepting what he wants. What confuses me is that he's telling you that he may not want you when he comes back. That truly makes me think that this guy shouldn't be able to come home to you after not being sure of wanting you and considering himself single while he's gone. And why make you wait for him to decide for you and your child?

I say that if he starts considering himself available, you start moving on with your life instead of waiting for him to come back. I think that if he's not for sure whether he wants you anymore, then thats a pretty big sign that maybe it should be over for good. You've got a child now, a very special person in your life, and it's ok to feel sad about your ex-boyfriend and your situation. But, I think that you could do better with another guy who would never question the relationship reguardless of any situation.


-TheTeenGirl

It's ok to get scared to become close to people. But, you have to learn that it's something you have to risk in order to decide for yourself if this person is enough for you to trust. When you leave them, or runaway you never let them have a chance to prove their honesty.

So, you have to open up in order to trust people again to get close.

As for this guy, you should exlain to him in person the truth. Tell him that you really messed up by breaking up with him, and that you are scared of getting close. If he doesn't react to it, or doesn't take you back, then nothing can be done. He'll know your reasons, and thats all there is to it.



-TheTeenGirl

I'm sorry, but I think this guy is a little too old for you.

You are just beginning highschool, a point in your life where you are just now thinking of what you really want out of life. And he's a senior, a person who has now found a very close idea of what they want. I think that you can do a lot better getting with someone whose on the same page as you, because this guy isn't.

-TheTeenGirl

If these provocative conversations would be a conversation you shouldn't be having with another girl's boyfriend, then I'd say you should stop the deep conversations.

If you can tell that things aren't ok with her, it's normal for her to feel a little threatened. But, I think that you should give them space when it comes to talking to them. Everyday you shouldn't really feel the need to talk to him. Let him have time with his girlfriend on days. Just try to put yourself in her position, if you feel like the conversation is too much, try thinking, "If his girlfriend was watching our conversation right now, what would she be feeling like?"

I think right now, you should try stepping out of their lives just a bit to give them room. Let them have their conversations even when you are online. Talk to her at the same time you talk to him. Get in a chatroom sometimes so that she knows that you shouldn't be a threat to her.

-TheTeenGirl

I think you should let her know that the possibility of you moving has come up again as hurtful as it is to tell her. I don't think you'd want to tell her a few days before or when theres not much time to do anything together before.

I think you should move with your mom because you know that is your safest and most comfortable bet. And you mentioned that Milford and South Lyon are 20 minutes apart? That isn't very long, so I don't see why your best friend should start getting so upset because things could be worse.

-TheTeenGirl

I think you are experiencing a phase where you start being distant with your family. This is a really normal part of life, and if it didn't happen, then it wouldn't be so normal.

I know a lot on this subject, and I know how you feel when you say that you can't come home to them and be happy, or say hello and ask how everything is going. Sometimes it really can get that bad. This is because the communication has stopped.

I went through a two year period with non-stop fighting with my mom. It was horrid and I felt so far away from her. We argued about tons of events, and I thought we'd never find an agreement or conclusion in these events. Then I learned that we didn't need to come to any conclusion. She had her thoughts and I have mine. It's like being with your friends. They think differently of a few things than you do, but yet you can still relate.

So, just because your family has had really bad times, it doesn't mean that you can't find peace and common ground with them. Everyone has their disagreements and arguments, but you all are still a family who loves each other a great deal even though it may seem like the opposite.

To become closer, start conversations with them about anything. Ask your mom how life has been, or ask dad how work is coming. Ask a sibling if there is anyone special in their life. Even though it feels akward and it bit stupid, it's not. You have to start somewhere, and the only way is communication.


-TheTeenGirl

Do you want to know why you think that you sound ridiculous?

Because all of this relationship madness is making you go insane! I've been just about where you are now, and I'm still dealing with it part of the time. I've been with mine for two years now.

Usually when he does something that bugs me, I always call him on it so that he'll understand what bothers me. I don't let it fly and a week later explode in a huge fight and then mention it.

You are exactly right, this is nothing but hurtful and you have to start really letting him know that you are starting to question the relationship. You and I both know that you deserve some respect in this area, so start making him know this. When he starts mentioning another girl's name, or anything that may come off as flirting with someone else, call him on it. Say, "That really bothers me that you are letting this girl flirt with you, and if you can't care for me enough to just have me being flirty towards you, then I really think that this relationship isn't going to stand any longer"

I have no idea what happened with his broken friendships, but if he's flirting with other girls to get friendships back, he is not worth all of your pain you are dealing with. And it really does hurt, I know.

When he starts to tell you that you are complaining too much, you just need to say, "No, I wouldn't have to complain if you didn't damage this relationship and crush my feelings to pieces" And I know that this sounds harsh, but you have to start getting a backbone instead of being his doormat. The only way he'll ever treat you with respect is if you show him that certain behaviors won't be tolerated by you. And if he leaves you just because you had standards that he couldn't meet, then maybe he wasn't worth your time. And you aren't overreacting. You are absolutely right when it comes to your feelings about this. But you are wrong when you don't take a stand.

Honestly, it sounds to me like this guy does not want to listen to you. He truly knows what he's doing, and he's just getting defensive toward you and turning the problems around on YOU instead of facing the fact that he's the problem. He blames you for complaining too much. I don't see it as complaining, I see a great girlfriend who needs some answers and who tries to express her feelings.

If you need any more help, just write me to my inbox.


-TheTeenGirl

It takes a lot of time for somebody to begin dating again when they just came out of a really long and healthy relationship that's gone bad.

So I think that you need to give her more space to find a sense of life without this guy until she can understand that she really can move on from it all without him by her side. It's very nice of you to buy her candy, but if you truly want to win a girl's heart, you have to be a friend to her at first. Be somebody who isn't just after her for her love, be her friend and then you'll start getting somewhere. Remember, she probably still has strong feelings for this previous guy, so it will take time.

-TheTeenGirl

Rape is not a joke. It's not a topic ANYBODY should fool around about.

Your life might be in danger because of this guy, please tell someone for your life!

Call the police on him, stay close with your parents so that you can feel safe, get this creep in jail.

-TheTeenGirl

Do you have any idea how much of a gap that is between the two of you? WAY too big.

In reality, age difference does matter. I don't care what the other columnists say about it. Age does matter.

Let's just think about this. This guy is about seventeen years old. If he had respect for you, don't you think he'd be looking at you as a middle school child that has a girly crush on him? He's almost out of high school!

You say this guy is great and respectful. Hmm..so howcome this guy is going as low as thirteen? Come on. He needs to grow up and get a girlfriend his own age.

-TheTeenGirl

You are definetly not a pathetic little girl. You are being human.

I don't know everything that happened between the two of you that caused this mess, but I have a feeling that this is truly the end.

He's told you a lot of times that it is the end and that he can't really trust you anymore. You've done whatever you could to try getting him back, so now it's really time to stop carrying on the way you are. If you know that you can be trusted and he can't see that, then that's his loss if he's not willing to give you another chance.

It's ok to feel like this guy is every part of you, and it probably does feel like that, but it's definetly not true. You are still the girl you were when you were with him except he's no longer in the picture.

I think the first thing you need to do is stop bothering him. No having your friends talk to him, and you don't talk to him. This may seem hard, but you have to take this step to start feeling better again. When your friends bring this guy up in a conversation, tell them that you don't want to talk about him. And if people come up and ask you if you still like him, just say, "What's it matter to you?" then just walk away. You may not be over him, and you may still dream about him a lot, but you have to start healing by not having him mentioned.

Remember that these day dreams are a very very normal part of a break-up. So is crying. So allow yourself to cry at night and when you start feeling sad to the point of wanting to die, then you should try talking to someone about this. I'm not saying that feeling that way isn't normal, I just think that you need to talk to someone about your pain sometimes.

-TheTeenGirl

Your parents are probably going through a really tough time, and I know it's probably hard to think about them splitting.

But you don't know for sure if this will actually happen. So slow down and try to ask one of your parents how everything has been. Don't try to bring up the e-mails or your concern with their fighting. You don't want to make one of them start thinking about this more and be upset. Even if they say that they are fine and that everything is great, let that be.

If what you are saying about your mom not caring aboyt what your dad does for her is true, you'll have to let your dad see that. Nobody else really can except him.

Sometimes giving them a hug every once in a while could make their day. So tell them you love them or give them a hug. I know this won't solve their problems, but it will make everything a little bit better.

Now, if you are too upset about this, then maybe it's time to tell a parent that it's really hard to concentrate on everything lately because of what's going on between them. Parents usually don't want their kids to know about the problems because they don't want the kids to worry or be upset because they care so much. But this sounds like it's bothering you.

-TheTeenGirl

I think you need to stop and think about the position that your boyfriend has been put into. Theres a guy that has been flirting with you, and now you are going to sleep over under the same roof with him?

You may not think it's a big deal, but it is. You need to start thinking about what you would do if there was a girl always flirting with your boyfriend and then you find out that him and her will be staying over night at the same house. You would absolutely hate it, and be extremely upset. And you may not think so now, but thats only because you aren't in that situation.

As for him telling his friends about what's going on, I think it's ok for him to share his feelings with his friends, but when they start cutting in and questioning you, you need to hang up or walk away. But, I do think that you should put more thought into what you are about to do.


-TheTeenGirl

The only way that she'll ever let her friend stop treating her like crap is when she steps up and does something about it. Not you or any of her other friends. This is her job.

I don't really understand why you were yelling back at her when she got upset about you and other friends drinking her sports drink. She had the right to be upset about that. So, I think you shouldn't have made matters worse by yelling back. You should have said that you were sorry.

Maybe your friend really is going through a tough time, and all she needs is for you to be there for her when you can be. If she starts to talk about her friend that treats her badly, just keep telling her that she needs to do something about their friendship instead of letting her stomp all over her and treating her like crap.

But your friend is right, it will make things worse if another friend butts in. This is between her and her friend.

-TheTeenGirl


[So what. That was between her and THAT OTHER GIRL. YOU cannot stop her from treating her like crap. It will never happen by you. It's a DRINK. Who cares if your friends admitted to drinking it or not, you still drank it, and if they aren't going to amit that they didn't when they DID, you call those people your friends? Why stick up for them and yell back when they wouldn't even be mature and own up to it? Oh well, I really don't care. Immature]

Find out what's wrong by talking to her. You need to phone her and say, "Hey, I know you are upset with me, but I really don't know why, so can you please tell me what's going on?"

Maybe ever since this guy she liked left, everything is going downhill for her, but that was really rude of her to leave when you were shopping together. And you're right, it's the nice thing to do to have a conversation with your teacher since he did bring you your work. And if she left with another friend because of that, sounds to me like she's not being your friend. I think you should have a serious conversation with her over the phone, or invite her over. And if she isn't willing to tell you what's going on, then you move on and wait for her until she decides to step up and say something.


-TheTeenGirl

Your relationship with him is ackward and silent and a little shy because you both just started dating. It's suppose to be this way, so if you both date for a while longer, the shell will eventually break. So I say don't really rush it, make it as comfortable as possible. And try making your conversations about what you like and what he likes. You both have a lot to talk about, you just have to approach the conversation to it. And you can ask him what he likes and he might be shy and not say that much, but you can break the shell by telling him what you're interested in. It's ok to be the talker at first.

I think your friends are being your friends. They laugh and tease you about your new boyfriend and sure, it's annouying, but I think it's out of love for you. It's their way of saying that you both are a cute couple. So I'd probably just let that go. They'll eventually grow up, don't worry.

Well, I understand your last problem, but I think the romance shouldn't really happen in school anyway. I know you both are just starting this, but maybe you shouldn't really worry about the romance just yet unless it's happening right now. And if it is, then you'll have to just tell your parents now. I don't really know another way you can fix it, but I think it's ok to tell your parents about your new boyfriend.

Just try taking everything slow, it's really going to be ok, good luck with Ross!


-TheTeenGirl

I think that your friends has a crush on you and really likes you, but I take it that you aren't feeling the same way.

But anyway, now that she knows, this is your chance to let her know that you like having her as a friend but you need room to breathe because you both are only friends.

Maybe you could also ask her why she follows you, and tell her you are asking out of curiousity. Maybe if you knew the reason it could resolve some things. If she has a crush on you, then you can tell her that you don't have feelings for her.

-TheTeenGirl

You guys are a group. There are no secrets. All of you are friends, so of course it will get around.

You guys are acting like a clique in middle or high school. You think that you can trust one person, but of course, that person will ALWAYS tell someone else they trust.

If you don't want the whole group to know something, then you may as well keep it to yourself. Thats all that I can really say about it.


-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
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