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My friends are always hanging out with their other friends. They are all having a sleepover but since I wasn't online when they planned it, I don't get to go. I'm always online at the wrong time so I never get to be in their plans. It's pissing me off. Help? I really wanna hang out with people this summer but like people are either busy, or they already made plans.

I think this happens to everyone sometimes. People tend to make plans with the people they're around or talking to at the moment. Just because they didn't call and invite you doesn't necessarily mean that they don't like you, or wouldn't want you to come. Try making some plans yourself... call your friends and plan a trip to the mall, a movie night, or a sleepover at your house sometimes.

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can you use a tampon when you dont have your period? maybe so that you can get used to the fact of wearing it and letting your vagina spread for it i guess?

Well, it's probably *possible* to use a tampon when you don't have your period... but it's definitely not a good idea! Especially if you haven't used one before.

For one thing, it would be very difficult to put in. When you have your period, things are slippery and that makes it a lot easier to put the tampon in. And even if you could get it in, it would be really hard to get out. When you have your period, the tampon gets slippery and slides right out. But if it's dry, it will stick to the walls of your vagina, and that makes it very difficult and painful to remove.

Just wait until you have your period, and pick a day when you have some time and nothing major going on, and experiment with the tampon then.

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i dont understand whats so wrong about illegal immigrants. i mean like mexico is right next to us.. and maybe people living in bad conditions move to america but cant afford to get like amnesty. like i watched the news and the people get so mad about it. like they said that americans should get jobs before the illegals and stuff like that. well escuse me but they are people too, and lets not forget that americans one stole the land from the indians. what about that? if you said that those super governmenty people would probably laugh in your face but its true. they dont "own" america. sure they are our government but i think its really unfair how they're so against illegals when its not that easy to get amnesty and stuff. like in different countries, i heard like a long time ago people would move from like some bad place in asia to a better place but they'd get in trouble or something when they did that. what happened to america being the land of the free? i mean i understand that they are trying to not get more terrorists.. but i think they went too far when they made that wall thing. what do you think?

and Cuba like you need permission before going there cause america doesnt like communists? what the hell? why doesnt america love communists. scratch that, why doesnt the government like communists? in china they are communists. how come you dont need "permission to go to China"? like these people on the news were shooting a movie around cuba and didnt get permission before going there and after they went people say they'll get in trouble and stuff when they didnt even know that they needed permission. if they get in trouble that would be really crazy.

and lastly, what do you think about the new paris hilton thing? i saw on tv that jail really helped her be a better person as she says. and shes gonna do all this stuff to help people in need of help, and she appreciates all she has and stuff like that. do you think it will last once shes out? just an opinion.

13/f
thanks for answering! =]]

You're right... there are millions of people (billions, actually) who live in places where they don't have the opportunity, or even the right, to make a better life for themselves. Many of them would love to move to the U.S. or other countries where conditions are better.

Actually, the U.S. is a very generous country and we DO allow a large number of immigrants to move here each year. But there has to be a limit. If we said, "Okay, everyone come on over!", we'd soon be flooded with more people than we could could take care of. There wouldn't be enough jobs, schools, housing, etc. for everyone. So we have a limit on the number of immigrants we allow to move here each year.

When people sneak in illegally, we get more people than we can handle... and it puts a big burden on our government. We have to help pay for their food, housing, medical expenses, etc. We have to build more schools, jails, clinics; and hire more teachers, social workers, police, etc. to handle all these people. This all costs money, and where does this money come from? Our taxes.

Ask your parents how they feel about the taxes they pay, and if they'd mind paying even more so we could take care of illegal immigrants. And how would YOU feel if your parents had less money to buy you all the things you want? Are you willing to give up your computer, cell phone, nice clothes, activities, etc. so that people who have broken the law could have those things? If so, you're a pretty generous person. But not everyone feels that way. Most people want to help others in need, but they also need to take care of themselves and their own families.

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does any one know of a good website fot myspace layouts... I have gone to whateverlife.com and pimpyourprofile.com but... I cant find any more GOOD ones! someone help!

Thankss

A couple good ones are:

mygirlyspace.com
freecodesource.com

They both have a ton of layouts.

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I have the sweetest boyfriend in the world and I feel really bad because we got in a fight and he's going to be gone all this weekend.. So I wanted to know if any of you have some cute ideas for a gift or something to give to him when he gets back.

thank you :]

Well, this might sound corny, but why not bake him some cookies? (Or brownies, or a cake, or whatever you think he'd like). You could even write "I'm sorry" or "I love you" on it with icing. =]

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how can i motivate myself to want to work out? i mean, i end up going anyways because my dad makes me but i never want to go..any tips on getting myself motivated?
thanks!

Just keep your mind on your goal. Whether that's losing weight or gaining strength or whatever... remind yourself that every time you work out, you're getting closer to that goal! You may never LOVE working out, but you WILL love the results... so just keep thinking about that!

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16/f

How could I get into modeling? I live in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area.

I was at one of my Mom's Avon dinners and the regional director told me that I should be the "new face" of their teen line, Mark. We tried sending a letter and e-mail into Mark, but they said they weren't looking for a "new face" and to keep waiting. I would really like to start modeling (just my face-maybe a make up model?), but I don't know what to do?

Help?

In Dallas, the big modeling agency is Kim Dawson. Go to their website:

www.kimdawsonagency.com

and look around. Somewhere on the website you'll find instructions for sending in photos of yourself. They don't have to be professional photos... just good snapshots that show your face and body. If you have a look they're looking for, they will contact you for an interview. Also on the website, you'll find the dates and locations of the "model searches" they sometimes hold. You can go to those events and let them see you in person.

Good luck!

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i've been wondering about this.. i mean im a kid myself, 13, and like i see all these older people that complain about little things they dont like about themself. those people go on to makeover shows, shows where they change their wardrobe and stuff (what not to wear), and even get plastic surgery. now im really against plastic surgery.. unless for medical reasons, but anyways im wondering why kids cant say they are ugly in a way, too. adults think its soo wrong when kids say that when they do it too! and why arent there any kid/teen makeover shows too? i mean i think theres some for teens, but why not preteens or people around my age? that would be cool.. and some people dont think thats right, then why is it right for adults to do it too? now im not saying plastic surgery or anything for the kids, but like.. you know makeover stuff that could improve their confidence and stuff.

its really annoying in other ways cause like theres no tv shows about kids my age that arent like cheesy or anything. why are they so cheesy? and why do they all wear make up when not alot of kids even use make up that much. like in hannah montana.. their make up looks so professional.. yeah like any kid that age could do that everyday. and in that and other shows they always have alot of different cool outfits and stuff when thats not really how it is in real life.. well for some people but not alot of people. why are tv shows like this? i watch some of them anyways but if something different came out i'd like it. oh and the show on MTV called Made, why is it only highschoolers. i'd like to see an episode with someone from middle school or something.. and more shows about middle schoolers than high school high school high school. blechhh.

i guess these are 2 seperate questions... whatever. thanks for answering! =]]

Question #1: Why is it okay for adults to say, "I don't like the way I look and I want to change", but not okay for kids to say that?

Well, I think that's because adults want kids/teens to feel good about themselves the way they are. Most teens go through some period when they're unsure of their appearance. It's normal, as our bodies change, to wonder if we look normal or if we're attractive. To make things worse, we compare ourselves with the models and actresses we see in the media, and we think, "If I don't look like that, I must be ugly." So adults try to reassure teens that they are normal and attractive the way they are. And that you don't have to be a supermodel to be pretty. And that there are more important things in life than how we look. Sooooo... if an adult says to a teen, "Yes, I agree! You could use a makeover!", they think they will be sending the wrong message. They want to tell teens, "You look fine the way you are, you shouldn't be so worried with how you look!"

Well, obviously, not all adults have gotten that message themselves. And when they complain about their own appearance, they're sending the message that looks ARE important! They're kind of being hypocrites, aren't they?

But I actually agree with you. I think there SHOULD be makeover shows for kids and young teens. Just telling someone, "You look fine" or "Looks don't matter" isn't going to make them feel good if they really don't believe it. But if you can do something that will actually make them feel more attractive -- makeup tips, fashion tips, etc -- why not do it?! That goes for adults, too. If changing the way you look will really make you feel better about yourself, I say, go for it!

Question #2: Why are TV shows like that?

The people who make the TV shows make things that they think a lot of people will want to watch. (The more people who watch the shows, the more money they can get from advertisers.) And apparently, a lot of people like to watch things that aren't "real", so they can live in that pretend world for that 30 minutes or an hour.

The trouble is, a lot of people start to believe that what they see on TV *is* real! They think everyone is beautiful, skinny, rich, lives in a nice house and has an awesome wardrobe. They start to think that's normal, that *everyone* has those things. And if they don't have those things themselves, they think there's something wrong with them... or they feel sorry for themselves... or they knock themselves out working 3 jobs so they can have all those things they think they *need* because the people on TV have them.

It sounds like you're a lot smarter than that! You've already realized that the things on TV are fake. Good for you! Keep up that attitude and keep questioning these things. Maybe you'll be able to help change how other people feel.

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My boyfriend and i have been seeing each other almost every day, and i still really really like him, i just need a day without him. It's come to the point where even the little things he does that wouldn't/shouldn't bother me normally and are just little pet peeves are having me question our relationship, even though i know i'm being stupid and blowing this out of proportion. The only problem is that he sent me this really long email last night about how he misses me already even though it's only been like an hour since he saw me and how much he wants to see me today, etc, etc. I don't want to lie to him about why i can't see him today, but i would really like to let him down easily. any suggestions?

Well, I know you don't want to lie, but sometimes a "little white lie" is the best way to avoid hurting someone. If he is that dependant and attached to you, implying that you don't want to see him (even if you put it really nicely) might really crush him. So don't feel bad about making up an excuse now and then. Or, if you really feel bad about fibbing to him, start making some plans with your girlfriends or something, so you'll be able to tell the truth. And just tell him, "Oh, I'm really sorry, I have to do blah blah blah today! I wish I didn't have to! I'm really gonna miss you!"

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anyone have any good meaningful quotes? trying to find things for my profile...

I saw a cute one the other day. It said:

"Everything turns out okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end!"

I liked that one!

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i work in a restuarant and my boss is really weird. he's like in his thirties but always hits on me and asks me when im finally gonna let him take me home. it makes me really uncomfortable but i dont knw what to do about it. i asked him to stop but he just tells me to stop teasing him and that he knows i want him.

plz help if you have any advice.

Oh, im 16 btw

Well, regardless of whether he's serious or just teasing, this is sexual harrassment and it's against the law. And with you being a minor, that makes it even worse. You should definitely tell your parents about it, and also his boss and/or the restaurant owner. They will make sure he stops or that you don't have to work under him anymore. You should not have to put up with this or quit your job because of it.

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So I have this friend. Lets name him John
John and his younger sister, Jill go to a different state a plane ride away to see their dad since their parents are divorced.
John and Jill have not seen their dad in over 2 years.
One day while they were down at their dads house, Jill comes over to John and tells him she thinks their dad is not a good person.
Now their mother does not like the dad at all ( I do not know why) but from the way it sounds is asthough she is lying to both kids saying that he is not a good person and has been for 12 years or so.
Jill is convinced that he is(maybe from hearing it so many times from the mother).
John says that from the two years that he has not seen his father, that he has changed for the better and has also changed John's view of him.
John does not know how to talk to his mother about her lying without the both of them getting into a fight.
Are there any suggestions or similar situations you have had before?
Any would be great, thanks.

Obvisouly, John's mother had a very bad experience with her ex-husband. Whatever happened between them left her hurt and angry, and she probably really does feel that he's "not a good person." So maybe she isn't really "lying" to her kids... it sounds like she's just saying what she thinks is true.

Still, it's understandable that John would feel bad when his mom says those things. After all, the man is his father and he's trying to have a father-son relationship with him. If it really bothers him, he should definitely talk to his mom about how he feels. If he's not comfortable talking to her, he could write her a note.

What should he say?

Well, he SHOULDN'T accuse her of lying, or try to convince her that she's wrong. That will only upset her and make her defensive. What he CAN say is something like this:

"Mom, I know that you and dad had some problems, and I really feel bad that you had to go through that. But I want you to know that it's pretty hard on me when you say bad things about him. He is my father, and even though he's not perfect, I want to have a relationship with him. I want you to know that I love you, and I understand how you feel. But it would really make things easier on me if you could try not to talk badly about him in front of me and Jill."

Hopefully she will understand, if he puts it like that.

As for Jill... it's going to be up to her to form her own opinion of her father, and decide what kind of relationship she'll have with him. I know of two brothers who had a very similar situation. One brother grew up hating his father and hasn't talked to him or even mentioned his name in 20 years. The other brother, however, has kept a good relationship with his dad and visits him regularly. Everyone is different, and it's up to each person to handle things in their own way.

Good luck to John and his sis!

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hi , my brother is two years older than me and beats the shit out of me. Hes on the football team and does weights and takes steroids. My parents dont care/dont understand. They are also out for most of the day so its just me and him at home. Mostly im locked in my room. If i go outside i can expect to be beaten up or called a loser. He has done this to me all me life and does it infront of other people. He did it once infront of his friends grandparents which shows how little he cares about what other adults think about him. Anything i do is istantly a loser sport or activity. Like skateboarding he used to beat me up because of that. For all of those people who say do some press ups or sit-ups, i cant really compete with a guy whos two years older and on steroids. parents couldnt care and think hes "playing" with me. so far hes broken my nose, given me a black eye and stolen over $300 off me. I just dont think its fair i should put up with this shit. Any ideas suggestions? My parents say im making him do this to me. He comes into my room for no reason, beats the shit into me, leaves. Not like I done anything to him. If im reading the newspaper he either takes it for himself, or rips it up. If Im watching TV, he changes the channel and tells me to piss off. Thats if i manage to get downstairs. suicide, running away , murder etc arent really options.

Wow, that really, really stinks! I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Of course, all siblings have fights, and big brothers DO pound on little brothers once in a while... but this sounds like it goes far beyond what's normal.

Obviously your brother has some problems. Maybe it's the steroids that are making him so aggressive. Or perhaps he feels a lot of pressure to succeed at football, and takes his anger out on you. He might even be jealous of you because, in his eyes, you have an easier, more carefree life than he does. It could be anything. Of course, that's no excuse for acting like a jerk, but it can help to know that there IS some reason for his behavior.

Anyway, my advice is to just stay out of his way as much as you can. I know it's completely unfair that you have to do that, but it doesn't sound like there's a whole lot of other options. Eventually he will move out and you won't have to deal with it.

Hopefully, at some point in the future, he will realize what a jerk he's been and apologize to you. Or at least make an attempt at having a closer relationship. That will probably happen when he realizes that he NEEDS you. After all, you are his BROTHER and some day you will be the only family he has. If and when that time comes, I hope you'll be able to forgive him and put these bad times behind you.

If it helps any... my mom's brother was a complete jerk to her the whole time they were growing up. Once they were adults, she didn't talk to him for 30 YEARS!! But recently, he called her and just started talking. They didn't bring up their old problems... they just started calling each other every so often, and finally got together for a long weekend. Now she's really glad that she has a relationship with him again. I hope that can happen to you and your brother... and I hope it takes less than 30 years.

Good luck! =]

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kay, well i like a boy. and was on my bus this year. we got close. but now schools over idk how to ask him out. i know where he lives. and his#

12/f

Why not organize something to do with a group of friends, and then call him up and invite him? Something like swimming, going to the movies, bowling or roller skating. And while you're with him, suggest something else you can do another time, and tell him to call you.

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This question is for the girls out there... My stepmom says that bras with underwires are really bad for you. Does anyone know why?

Underwires aren't bad for you. If they don't fit properly they can be uncomfortable, but they aren't going to do any permanent damage. Women with larger breasts often find underwire bras more comfortable, because they give more support. I like them for that reason, and also because I like the shape they give me.

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ok so im in a friends with benefits relationship with my best guy friend. he and his ex broke up 3 months ago, she broke up with him. ok so we really haven't done much, i gave him a hj. we've been best friends for 2 years, its not like i just met him yesterday and im screwing him and 5 other guys, its just him and i trust him a lot, he's my first guy i've done sexual things with. anyways, i told my best friend and only my best friend what i did with him. about 2 and a half months ago he felt me up and i told somebody else, (not my best friend), who i trusted, turns out she told everyone and they all thought i lied about it but now they know i'm not lying because my best friend told them that i gave him a hj to defend me from their rumors. i forgive her for telling them because she was defending me but me and the guy wanted to keep the relationship a secret. ok so despite that they broke up, my guy and his ex are still friends and she still has him whipped!! ok so she found out what we're doing and now she's mad at both of us and shes calling me a slut and telling everyone that'll listen what i did. i dont know why she cares, she gave him up, so she should let him go, its almost been 4 months since they've been apart. me and the guy are on a break now until the drama settles. how do i tell his ex to back off, he's too scared of her to say anything. truly it's none of her business and she should just get over it. what do i do about her?


(yea i've asked this before but there were a lot of relationship questions and it got pushed the the second page and only one person answered and i want more opinions. please)

Well, it sounds like his ex still has some feelings for him. So she's jealous when she hears what you've been doing. And if he's still letting himself be "whipped" by her, he may have some feelings left for her, too. There's really nothing you can do about that. That's between him and her, and they need to figure it out and work out on their own what their relationship will be.

In the meantime, it's good that you're taking a break from the "benefits" thing. And my advice is, don't resume it... with this guy, or with anyone else. I know this will sound harsh, but when you do sexual things with someone you're not in a committed relationship with, that IS considered slutty. The only difference between "friends with benefits" and a prostitute is, the prostitute gets paid. What do you get? Nothing! Your friend gets all the benefits without giving you anything in return.

Maybe you're hoping that your benefits-friend will eventually like you as a girlfriend and ask you out. Well, that's possible, but it doesnt usually happen like that. Why would a guy give up his freedom when he can get what he wants without all the complications of a relationship? And do you think he, or other people who hear about it, will really respect you? Unfortunately, probably not.

I think you should tell your friend that you don't want to mess around with him anymore. If you're really just friends with the guy, tell him that you don't want it to get in the way of your friendship. But if you actually like him as more than a friend, tell him so... and tell him that if he wants the benefits to continue, it will have to be as his girlfriend.

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I'm gonna be a freshman in college and I have a philosophy class....what do you usually do and study in that class?

Well, philosophers try to answer the really "deep" questions about life. What is right and what is wrong? And how do you *know*? What is beauty? What should a perfect society be like? How should we act? What is the purpose of life? Why are we here?

In philosophy class, you'll learn about different philosophers and what they thought. You'll also discuss your own thoughts on those subjects. You'll probably have a lot of reading, and some of it might be boring or hard to understand. But it can be pretty interesting! And it's fun to discuss this stuff and hear other people's views. It really gets you thinking!

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hello

i'm 14/f. I am really mad now because whenever i talk to my mom about boys, she says i can't date for another 3 more years, (so that's when i would be 17) but i REALLY don't want to wait that long. All of my friends already have boyfriends and I really don't want to wait until 17 when i get my first kiss. that would be so akward. I've already had my 1st boyfriend (only lasted for a week) and I really liked having a guy around me saying that he cares about me and having someone hold hands with me... etc.

is there anyway i can change my mom's mind? How am i supposed to act if a guy asks me out and my mom doesn't approve? aghh i really need help

Well, your mom is probably worried that you will get into a situation that you won't know how to handle. Specifically, that a guy will want you to go farther than you want to (or than she wants you to), and that you won't be able to say no. She probably thinks that when you're older and more mature, it will be easier for you to handle those situations.

However... knowing how to handle guys doesn't just come with age. It comes with experience. And it's not so bad to start getting that experience now. In fact, when you're 17, and guys are even more sex-crazed than they are at 14, they'll be even more likely to pressure you into something you're not ready for. And if you haven't had the experience of saying, "No, I'm not ready to do that", it can be hard to do. But if you can learn gradually, with more innocent situations when you're younger, you'll be better prepared when you're older and in more serious relationships.

Tell your mom that. Tell her that you understand her concerns, but that you're worried about turning 17, having your first date, and having no clue how to handle a guy. Tell her you think its important to learn these things little by little, instead of jumping right into dating with no experience. Ask her if you can start off small... going to the movies with a boyfriend and a group of friends, or having a boy come over when she's home, or go someplace with you and your family. And tell her that you'll always be open to talking with her about guys, and that you hope she will be too.

I don't know if that will work, but it's worth a shot! Good luck!

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14/f

Every day for about a week I've had this watery poop that just sort of explodes out when i let it, it's not individual turds, but not really diahhrea-like either. It's like a watery stool. I eat a lots of fruits and vegetables and I drink a ton of liquids. Could that have something to do with it?

I've never had this before, so I need to know what's causing this.

I have the same problem sometimes, usually right before or during my period. If that's the case with you... well, all I can tell you is that you're not the only one! My sister has this problem too, and so did my grandmother. My doctor said it's not very common, but nothing to worry about. It's just your hormones messing up your digestive system. But it is a big pain in the butt (ha ha!). If you don't think it's because of your period, though, you may have a virus or something. If it keeps up for much longer, you should probably go to the doctor.

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hey. ok, well, i'm 14/f. here latley i've been thinking about taking up the guitar. i'm a total girly-girl, but i just think it would be a lot of fun to play. but here is my question...is it like, really really hard to learn? i mean, i know it will be hard and you have to put effort into it, but i just want to know if it is super-duper hard to learn. like i said, i know it won't be just like that and you learn it, but if it is SUPER hard, then i might have second thoughts. and if anyone can give me some tips before i start playing, that would be great!! thanks!!!!!

I don't play the guitar, but I have two friends who do. One of them is a natural... he got a guitar, looked at a few how-to websites, and now he can play just about anything! The other one has been taking lessons for two years, practices every day, and is still trying to learn the basic chords. So I think it all depends on your innate musical ability. And you won't know unless you give it a try. I say, go for it! You have nothing to lose by trying it, but so much to gain! I think it's awesome to be able to play the guitar and I wish I could do it!

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