I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
Answers: 577
Last Update: December 1, 2010
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i just saw my ex for the first time today since the breakupp. we broke up two weeks ago (less) and i still like him a lot. we were together 5 months. he was my first bf and kiss. we said hi and that was like it. it was prretttyyy akward. now its really feeling like its over and im so upset. i feel like hes way over me and it makes me really upset. i guess i expect a miracle to happen and for him to take me bacck today. i miss him.
1. any (preferably sad) songs describing a situation like this. like seeing him completely over me while im still attatched. i like stuff like boys like girls we the kings cartel etc. no screamo.
2. what do i do with myself. please dont say friends cause they dont get it. i dont like them very much.
3. why am i still sad. why do i still care. why do i continue to think about him every day. why cant i listen to one song without his name coming up in my head.
4. i want to be friiends with him because i couldnt ever not talk to him agian. i feel so weird talking to him. cause i had a tiny conversation with him today and i just couldnt look him in the eye. i couldnt speak knowing he doesnt feel the same.
thanks;
hopeless
i wonder what he'd think if he could read my mind.. (link)
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1. 'You Always on My Mind'- Elvis Presley.
2. Just think to yourself about the happy times which you spent with him. Ask your parents what to do, because like all other couples, they've experianced heart break over the years. Don't be afraid of approaching them, they'll listen to you.
3. You're sad because he was your first love, your first kiss and that makes a hell of an impression on people becuase they want it to last. You care for him because you've still got feelings for him and you want him back. It's perfetly natural to feel that way. Words in songs can sometimes play a small 'video' in our minds which will some how will relate to what we're thinking about the most, no matter how weird the song is.
4. Don't be afraid, you still have feelings for him, i understand that. He may not have the same. Ask whether he still has feelings for you, if not, ask whether you can still be friends.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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im 14/f and my boyfriend is 13/f
do you think that if your really truly sure your in love, like you've had it proven to you,no doubt in your mind and he feels the same,
do you think that we can last throughout highschool?
we've had our problems, what true couple doesnt, but i dont want to lose him again :[ i want this to last forever, as crazy as that sounds.
do you think it can last? (link)
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It really depends on how your relationship turns out. Nobody can be ever certain whether relationships will last, otherwise people wouldn't get together or break up now would they? It all depends upon how dedicated the couple are together and how they work through their issues as one, not two.
If you're really, really dedicated to this relationship (which i'm sure you are), then you and him can make it through high school.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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wow okay so this might be a weird question.
so okay im 14/ f and my boyfriend is 13/m
so we've almost been going out for a year, and we have barely(like 1 month ago) started saying we love eachother, because we wanted to wait for a time when we both actually truly meant it.
and noww..
i dont know. like i can never stop telling him i love him and i looked at him way more then the movie we watched together the other day and.. time seeems to stop when im with him, i know that sounds weird but its so true, when im with him that alll i can see, i want to spend every second with him and nomatter how long we do hang out its never, ever enough. i get in a bad mood when we have to say goodbye. like i get realllllly sad idkk why. its so crazy hahahaha ive never ever ever ever felt this way
its weird to say that im in love with him, because we're still so young, but wow i feel like it. Its so weird, but.. i want this to last forever. and i know he feels the same. we do everything together, and i would drop everything to be with him or be there for him. id do anything for this boy.
so my question is, if im really in love with him. I know its odd to ask this, i mean, we're young, but.. i dont know somone help me
thankss so muchh (link)
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There is abosolutly no doubt that you're in love with him. The feelings that you've got for him are so strong that you begin to doubt what you feel.
Don't think about it, just enjoy the experiance and make it all last. Nobody is young enough to feel love, even though others say that you don't know what it's like. Well, you can tell them at you do know.
Good luck with the future: for both of you,
triquetra
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My two friends do almost everything together.All of us used to do stuff together but now i think they are lying to me.Yesterday me friend told me she had to clean her bathroom and i couldn't come over today she told me the same thing.What should i do? (link)
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There is nothing much you can do i'm afraid. But just out of curiosity, what do you think that they're lying about? If you're not too sure, just ask them whether they're being honest with you. Look at their face expression: if they look worried, then something is up, if not then everything is fine and that she just needs to finish cleaning her bathroom.
If they ask you questions like "why do you ask?" just say that you were a little worried that they were hiding something from you (or something along those lines, don't make it complicated and mess up because they may think that you don't turst them)
Don't jump to conclusions just because she says the same thing two days in a row, other wise things might happen which you didn't intend to do.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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I've planned to totally have it together for 2008. As in: I meant to treat my family properly, yet I've been worse than ever.
ie. my brother is twenty and has always been a late developer, however I find it hard to show him consideration.
HE WAS PLAYING THE SONG "BANANA PHONE" WHILE MOUTHING THE WORDS LIKE HE WAS SO ADORABLE AND I WAS DISGUSTED AND TOLD HIM HE'S TOO OLD TO THINK ANYONE WOULD FIND THAT TO BE CUTE.
I know I'm being a total bitch, so how can I keep calm and handle the situation in a positive way? (link)
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I've got a friend like that, child in mind and very annoying (imagine him saying things like 'oggabogga' and inventing cities where he's either a God or King and he's 15). I find that it's very hard to keep my cool with him and have violent outburts if i contain it.
But to get around that, just think to yourself that one day, he'll eventually grow up to be more responsible, everybody does eventually (hopefully) and this is what i hope with my friend, even though it seems distant, i still have hope that he will learn how to be responsible and grow up.
Keep your chin up and good luck with the future,
triquetra
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15/f
alright so cameron is pretty funny and cool and i want to be friends with him because he seems like such a cool person to hang out with.
but the problem is he can be really "friendly-mean" to people including his friends. so usually when he says something mean to me i ask him about it and he says "thats just the way i am im sorry" or "i was just joking im sorry" and he sounds genuinely sorry.
but the tone in which he says it makes me feel as if i just..fail at something which is kind of sad and irritating at the same time. like usually i dont mind taking that kind of abuse unless i know in my heart that the person was kidding and i have no doubts about it, but in this situation im not so sure since ive only known cameron since school started!
so now i want to stand up for myself cause he said something yesterday that i really did not feel comfortable with but i dont want to start a fight or anything. and if i stand up to him again he might think im just a bitch, which i think he already thinks i am b/c of past circumstances. idc what people think of me, unless the person is really cool, which cameron is.
so what do i do? i just want to be respected but i want to make friends at the same time.. (link)
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Make it clear to him that you don't like what he said and that it didn't make you feel comfortable (what ever the situation is), it's ok to set some boundaries with him so he knows what to do and what not to do with you.
But don't make it sound as if your standing up to him, just telling him that you don't like what he's doing.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Well, there's this guy who I have lessons with everyday :)
He's sexy and funny.
We talk a lot.
Do you think he's a little interested if he makes a lot of physical contact..?
And always comes to talk to me?
Like today he was there with his motorbike helmet and his friend tried it on. After he(sexy guy) picked up the helmet and pushed my hair back and put it on my head and laughed( because I looked like the crazy frog from like two years ago ((brinnngit a bring bring brinnnggittt a bring bring bring)))
And then I was sitting on a bench and he went behind me and pulled my head back, so I was like looking straight up and he put his face really close to mine and said ''sexy eyes''
Do you think he's interested...or just flirting? (link)
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Ask him and see how he feels and see how you feel. It does seem as if he does like you, but be careful, he could be just...um...'playing' with you, if you get what i mean (flirting or just having fun (don't take that the wrong way)).
Just see what he says and see is you can start a relationship with him. Trust me, he sounds like a great guy but have your gaurd up in case something happens which you or i didn't foresee.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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im asking his question say that im my sister but im not its just going to be easyer to say me instead of my sister ok so here it is:
Im f/10 and I have a friend that is 13 and i care about her alot whenever she is sad i try and confert her and when she is happy im happy with her i do so many things for her but she just dosnt act like she apreciates any of it i dont even think that she cares about me she never thanks me for christmas i saved up all my money to get my sister and her psp's my sister jumped in joy and thanked me 5 billions times and then i asked my friend if she liked hers and all she said was yeah she didnt even say thank you and then she doesnt act like she cares about me every time i try to get together with her she just says im thinking of getting together with my friend that day or somthing like that and then the stupidest snootyest girl at school invites my sister and my friend to go to the mall with her and my sister asks if i can come and she said it was ok and then the whole time i was none stop talking and everyone was ignoring me except my sister i try so hard for her to like me but she just never seems like she really cares about me i really want her to want to be friends with me its just so hard im am constantly nice and friendly but she just dosnt care what should i do please help.
and remember this is a question for my sister im not really 10 im 14 and its not like she thinks she is being nice and friendly i think she is being eltra nice and friendly and her friend just dosnt seem to care i would really like answers i dont like to see her being used to get whatever someone eles wants and then never talking to her please help this is for a little kid that will never let this go i dont want her to get hurt please help and thank you to all who answer (link)
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I know the feeling. It's really hard when you try and please somebody and they don't appreciate what you do.
But i think that i can see the problem: you're trying to hard to make her like you. People have different ways in which to accept friends and this could be just one of them. She doesn't yet know how to respond to this, she isn't your sister so she feels as if she mustn't do the same as her or must act in a different way to her like be less thankful or be less appreciative.
One more thing, age difference. I couldn't help noticing that she's 3 years older than you are. It could be age difference and she might be embaressed to have a 10 year old as a friend (don't take that the worng way, i'm sure that your the most caring person in the world). Just see what happens.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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my freshman year i cam across this boy named tommy and i liked ever since junior year we started talking and in the summer he asked me to be his girlfriend so we went out i liked him alot he was my real first boyfriend and i was crazy fro him see i like my rocker guys with long hair and piercings ans he has that :) we even went to family values together and had a good time....school started and it was fine we didnt see each other at all only in themorning when i would get off the buss but only for 5 minutes and then i would just talk to him on the phone or myspace...so on the third day of school he broke up with me on myspace and i was devistated!!!! i couldnt belive it i mean the day before it was all fine!!! so then we broke up and i was sad i dated guys after him but for a very short time i cant get my mind off of him.....so im dating my current boyfriend nick and i liked him but now im loosing my feelings for him but he knows my tommy they live next to each other...and when ever me and nick are together and i see tommy i get pissed and puch nick away i still love tommy and by the way tommy has a girlfriend and apparently he is in love with her one time on myspace he wrote a song and he sent it to me to see if it sounded good and if not if i could fix it up and i did and it hurt he doesnt know i am still in love with him so when ever i see him i get this stmach ache and i just wsh i was with him......what should i do? i want him really bad!!! i need to get him back......
AND I NEED TO MENTION THAT WE DO TALK AS FRIENDS AND WHEN WE SEE EACH OTHER WE SMILE AND HE WAVES....AND HES HAS A GIRLFRIEND AND I TALK TO HIS FRIENDS. (link)
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Ask him why he broke up with you in the first place. The relationship can't be fine the day before and the next day he breaks up with you, it doesn't work that way. There has to be a reason for this sudden change. There's nothing wrong in asking for a reason. If it's vague, then push on and ask him even further for a reason. It will be likely that he might ask "Why? What's it to you?", tell him what you feel. That is good enough (and better) than any reason in the reason in the whole world as to why your asking him.
Mention all that you've said in your question what you feel about him.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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At school there is this boy I have never alked to, but like a lot. My friend told me that she saw him put a note in my locker on monday. We didn't have school on tue. or wed. Well I looked inmy locker and found a note saying "hey I think your really cute too, And i know it was you who called me. From, I think you know who." I feel sooo stupid for believing it. I was soo happy. My face got red and my stomach got that queasy feeling. Then like 2hrs. later my 4th locker neighbor down asked me If I got that note in my locker. I was like yeah, did you see who put it in, and she's like (friends name) did. I was so hurt. That note filled me with false hope. She asked me if I was mad at her and I said yes. Get this, s got mad at me 4 being mad at her. She's like y are you getting so mad it's stupid cuz I thought it would get you to talk to him. And I was like NO IT WOULD HAVE MADE ME LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT! And she was like "Whatever". When I got home all I didi was cry and I am crying right now. I feel like such an idiot for even believing it. What should I do, sorry it's so long. (link)
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I can understand how you're feeling, and i can understand that you're upset. But your friend wasn't doing anything to intentially hurt you, she was trying to help you, but not in that sort of way. Her intentions were good.
What you should do now, is to go to your friend and (now don't take this the wrong way) and thank her. Yes, thank her because she was trying to help you get a realtionship with a guy you like. Look at the situation in a positive way.
As for this guy, don't be shy. There is a book out called 'The Fine Art of Small Talk' by Debra Fine which will give you confidence to start a conversation in any situation. Hopefully, this will get you the relationship which your friend wanted to get you.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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16/f
i recently got a boyfriend..my age..
and all of a sudden, all my girl friends are beginning to turn their back on me. i tried to figure out what's wrong...and they all admitted they liked him...or still do.
but it's not my fault he decided to choose me.
what should i do? should i be nice towards those girls? (link)
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You should be very nice to them. Remember, you did nothing wrong and neither did your boyfriend. It just shows that he's got more feelings towards you than the other girls, it's just a matter of love.
You see, when other girls like this boy, but he chooses one, it would make them feel as if you've got something that they don't and that will make them jealous. Go to them and say that you're the same person that you were before he started to go out with you, you've got nothing 'extra' which makes you special and therefore, they shouldn't treat you differently.
I hope that helps,
triquetra
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well there's this guy that i really really like and been liking him for like 7 months already.And well im a very shy person espically around guys,and ive been trying to talk to him or at least say hi but i never get the chance to. See i dont know if he knows that i like him and i think he doese becasue my friends say that he does. And he do be sayin hi to me everytime we see eachother in the hallways and i dont know if he just saying hi to be nice to me or if he likes me back.But my real quetion is how you know if a guy likes you back when you like them. (link)
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You can't really know, only if the guy expresses his feelings to you. The best way to do that is tobeign to speak to him and there is a way to do that. 'The Fine Art of Small Talk' is a fantastic book (and i should know since i've got it) by Debra Fine which helps you to start a conversation in any situation, making you feel comfortable enoguh to begin to talk to this guy.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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16/f...16/m
i've never been in a relationship before and suddenly, i went out with my best guy friend.
now that im his girlfriend, he treats me like crap. but i like him SO much. we were holding hands today, and i stroked his arm.
when i came home, he called me and said i didnt do it right. and that i looked like i was scratching a dog.
he always tells me i dont do things ...perfectly..as a couple should. he's experienced, i'm not. (link)
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Just say to him that this is all a new experiance to you and that you really want this to work. But, make it plain in the same way that you don't like how he treats you. You like him, but you're not getting the reaction which you wanted from him. Just tell him that.
Good luck with the future,
triquetra
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okay you know how you said to make him wait and not talk to him for a while well we've done that twice since we met and hes came back to me both times thats why its so hard to like let him go because i really like him and i don't want to make him have to choose but it seems like that the only way thats y im having such a hard time with this guy
see im use to just throwing them away once im broken up or somethin but hes been staying w/ me since we met
i cant stop thinking bout him everything i do say,see all reminds me of him
gosh i don't like this because ive never been in this before so HELP me please because u gave good advice!! (link)
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Go straight to him and ask him what his feelings are for his girlfriend and you.
He must make a choice between the both of you, he cannot leave both of you in hope, only to break somebodies heart in the end (or maybe both)but this cannot carry on. It's fine for him to think about it, but not for this long anyway and leave two others in hope.
Express your feelings to him like you've done in your question and that'll make him realise what kind of situation he's in. See what happens, then if that doesn't work, write back on my private e-mail address on my column (all of your detail will be erased once the question is answered).
Good luck,
triquetra
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Oh, here it goes(sryy this is kinda long)... My friend, Lexi, is well liked by everyone. She's really cool, and we are pretty much best friends. No prob, right? Well, a couple years ago, in sixth grade, this girl (lets call her Polly) was my best friend, and in the first part of seventh grade, but now Lexi hates her. so im just sitting there, like what? So theres this other girl(Nikki) who i LOATHE entirely, and my Polly is now best friends with her, and i feel us drifting away, and now Polly is terrible. She took on a totally different personality. Like she is absolutely annoying and loud and obnoxious, and I want to kill this other girl, Nikki. Partly because she copies every little thing people do (my pet peeve) and now Polly is doing that. So I hate her a little, but I still remember when Polly and I were best friends. I want to be friends with her again but i cant be with her when she's with Nikki, so I need to split them up. Although I really want to be friends with both Polly and Lexi, because they both are really cool and nice. But I can't if Nikki is around. Here are my question for you, okay?
1. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
2. How should I go about doing this?
Thanks a bunch! 14/f (link)
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Sit them all down, and tell them that you want to be friends to be with them all, but to do that, you want them to work through all of their issues with each other in a civilised disscusion.
Stand by and help them through, and all you must do is to find out something which will work for each other. Don't let it get out of control and keep them focused. REMEMBER, DON'T FORCE THEM INTO ANYTHING WHICH MIGHT JEPORDISE THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE MEETING.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Okay so theres this guy that i really like ..
Hes 18 only two and 4 months older then me and he had a girlfriend that hes always off and on with but see even when hes on with her hes always trying to get with me and he tells me he really does like and isn't using me or anything like that but whenever im able to do something hes not and when hes able to do something im not ..
And like I really really like him and and i think im falling for him (not in love) and i just don't know what to do with him because i want him to be all mine but the problem is that hes going back and forth between me and his ex
but im not one of those girls who make people choose i dont like that so i just dont want to do about him should i give up or should i keep trying to make him mine?
HELP!!! =/ (link)
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This is a tricky situation to be in. He clearly doesn't know how he feels between the two of you and he's trying to sort them out and make a choice between the two of you.
Don't force him to make any choice, let him come to his choice in his own time and see what happens. I can imagine that this is frustrating, but after a while (give it three days), ask him what his feelings are about you.
I hope this helps,
triquetra
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I go to a very small high school (100 people)and I'm know as a very quiet, shy person. Usually I'm reading or doing my classwork and not really talking to anyone. I'm probably crazy but I think a very popular, sort of punk rock boy likes me. He always sits very close to me on the bus and in class (not right next to me) and I catch him looking at me from the other side of the room quite a bit. I like him a lot but I'm not really sure what to do. I'm very shy and it would be very awkward for me to just go up and start talking to him. How do I find out if he really likes me? And how do I very subtly let him know that I like him? (link)
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There is a book by Debra Fine called 'The Fine Art of Small Talk'. I've recomended this book to so many people because it's the best way to learn how to approach people and begin and conversation with them. So i'll recomend the same to you.
Don't be shy approaching him, there are no ranks in schools. We're all the same species and there is nothing between us. The Queen is no different than us, so this boy is no different to you.
After a while, ask what his feelings are towards you and find out what your feelings are towards him.
Good luck with the future and remember, there are no ranks in schools,
triquetra
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my boyfriend's friends jsut passed away. HE's doing stupid things and using their names as an excuse. HE's taking it really hard. I was wondering if theres anything i can do to make him feel better?
right now i don't know what to do. i really want to help him..
please help. asap. thnx so much. (link)
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The only thing which you can do is to make sure that you're there for him. Comfort him and remind him of the happy times which he spent with him. Don't allow him to dwell on unhappy thoughts.
I'm not so sure as to what you mean as 'their names' but i'm assuming that he's using different people to blame his friend's death (do say if i'm wrong). If that's the case, tell him that it was nobodies fault, it just happened and no amount of blaming will change that.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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me + him both 16
theres this kid that i like and i think he likes me too because in the one class we have together he sits in the front and i sit in the back and every once in a while he looks back at me and smiles and always makes an effort to walk next to me in the halls when we're headed in the same direction. our class is a drawing class so we're always up moving around and chatting but besides talking in the halls and in class we dont really talk but i want to get to know him to see if he really likes me or not. oh by the way he's a friend of a friend so we did go trick-or-treating together and he came to my sweet 16 (uninvited but i didnt mind). ok so on to my question. i want to get to know him better without seeming like a creepy stalker. about a week ago we became myspace friends but i want to actually talk to him...more than the minute in the hallway. so i've known him for about 2 years now, talking to him since september and flirting for about a month...maybe 2 months. anyway is it too soon to ask for an AIM screen name?? (link)
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Start off by asking him questions like :"What's your favorite hobby?" and lead off from that or "Tell me a little bit about yourself" and then tell him about you.
Little things like that can go a long way.
Triquetra
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my best friend ever is a black boy named even and no one knows that he is my best friend on earth im afriad to tell my parents about him because they dont really like black people and i love him like my own brother please help i want to tell people about him but i dont know how please help and thanks (link)
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There is nothing wrong having a best friend who's black. Bring him back home with you to help you with your homework (if the situation arises) and introduce him to your parents. Talk to your parents after he's left and say how you feel about him. They should respect your decision, no matter what they feel about black people.
Also introduce him to your other friends and explain to them that you want them to be all friends (after or before, your call). Don't be afraid, there is nothing to fear from their reactions, remember that he's your best friend and nothing can break that.
Good luck with the future and with Even,
triquetra
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