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i want to stand up for myself..
15/f
alright so cameron is pretty funny and cool and i want to be friends with him because he seems like such a cool person to hang out with.
but the problem is he can be really "friendly-mean" to people including his friends. so usually when he says something mean to me i ask him about it and he says "thats just the way i am im sorry" or "i was just joking im sorry" and he sounds genuinely sorry.
but the tone in which he says it makes me feel as if i just..fail at something which is kind of sad and irritating at the same time. like usually i dont mind taking that kind of abuse unless i know in my heart that the person was kidding and i have no doubts about it, but in this situation im not so sure since ive only known cameron since school started!
so now i want to stand up for myself cause he said something yesterday that i really did not feel comfortable with but i dont want to start a fight or anything. and if i stand up to him again he might think im just a bitch, which i think he already thinks i am b/c of past circumstances. idc what people think of me, unless the person is really cool, which cameron is.
so what do i do? i just want to be respected but i want to make friends at the same time..
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Make it clear to him that you don't like what he said and that it didn't make you feel comfortable (what ever the situation is), it's ok to set some boundaries with him so he knows what to do and what not to do with you.
But don't make it sound as if your standing up to him, just telling him that you don't like what he's doing.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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i used to have a friend just like that. and eventually we quit being friends. it just didnt work out. but his excuse was "mean and angry are all i have ever known. thats all i know how to do" he would always say the worst things and make me feel like i was scum. and i hated him for it, but when he tried, he was a very good friend. obviously this cameron dude has issues. this is what you should do:
have a heart to heart talk with him. tell him that hes hurting you and that he needs to quit it, or you're gone, babe. if he doesnt, then hes not worth being friends with. thats all there is to it. there is one person who will be nice to you and wont do anything mean to you for the world. that person is obviously not him. hope this helps. take care.
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Oh, yeah.. I have guy friends like that. It is annoying but you don't really have to stand up for yourself. Just make a joke right back at him. You won't come off as a bitch and he'll know that you know hes kidding. And he'll know you're kidding too. If he says something offensive to you, then you can stand up for yourself and say something, and hopefully he wont say anything like that again.
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