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they're jealous about me and him?
16/f
i recently got a boyfriend..my age..
and all of a sudden, all my girl friends are beginning to turn their back on me. i tried to figure out what's wrong...and they all admitted they liked him...or still do.
but it's not my fault he decided to choose me.
what should i do? should i be nice towards those girls?
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You should be very nice to them. Remember, you did nothing wrong and neither did your boyfriend. It just shows that he's got more feelings towards you than the other girls, it's just a matter of love.
You see, when other girls like this boy, but he chooses one, it would make them feel as if you've got something that they don't and that will make them jealous. Go to them and say that you're the same person that you were before he started to go out with you, you've got nothing 'extra' which makes you special and therefore, they shouldn't treat you differently.
I hope that helps,
triquetra
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Yes, I think you should keep being nice to them. When people are jealous, they look for anything they can to justify their bitter feelings toward you. If you're mean back them - even if they started it - it will only give them more bad things to think or say about you. But if you keep being your sweet, wonderful self, and don't give them ANY reason to be mad at you, then they'll really have no valid reason to dislike you. And they may even feel guilty about their jealousy.
Also, try to avoid talking about your boyfriend too much when you're around them. You don't want to give them the chance to say that you're bragging or rubbing it in.
And one more thing... try to be a little forgiving about the way they're acting. As you said, they're jealous and disappointed... and those are tough feelings to handle. We all have to learn in our own way how to handle those emotions without letting them ruin our lives and our relationships. Your friends are still learning... and making mistakes along the way. So even though they're treating you badly, you can be the bigger person by remembering that everyone makes mistakes, and forgiving them.
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I've been through the same thing. Believe me it's tough sometimes. I've been in this relationship for a year and I don't even go to his school. So hearing or finding out that girls like him and practically dislike or hate me.. it's surprising because they have never met me. It's just all high school drama. If they don't like you for who you are dating. It's stupid and it's not worth your time. You don't have to be nice, especially if they are turning their backs on you and treating you any different. He's with you. They need to learn to get over it. They need to realize that he chose you and not them... and that it was his decision and that YOU didn't steal him away. He had a choice. It's sad that girls don't even realize that. You didn't even know they liked him, so it's not your problem. Don't give them any bad reaction. They might put pressure on you to leave him because you're making "everyone" feel jealous or mad. If you're happy with him, then stay with him. And get new friends.
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Why would you be mean to them?
Feeling jealous is never really 'wrong' of them and they did the right thing by being honest with you about it.
The best thing for you to do is thank them for thier honesty, try to be bit sensetive to it and then behave as your normally would. If they continue to give you the cold shoulder, that is thier problem, but you have no reason to shun them.
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Tell them to get over it. It's not as though you knew they all liked him when you started dating this kid.
They are [or were] your friends, they should be happy when good things come along to friends, not jealous and immature.
Hopefully they will grow up and realize they are overreacting and being overall bitchy.
I would confront them, not angrily or offensively, but not softly either. Be firm and stand by your opinions, and don't stoop to their level of maturity [or lack thereof].
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