Definetly not. You'd be surprised by how many couples will still be very in love with each other, but they will have small crushes or may think someone else is good looking too.

The only way it is considered cheating is if you date them, or if you kiss them. If you spend a lot of time with this person, it wouldn't be cheating, but it would be wrong. It's like choosing someone you like over your own boyfriend or girlfriend.

-TheTeenGirl

If she's hanging out with other people, maybe you should start trying to join her new group of friends. I don't think you will be able to make her drop her other friends and just hang out with you. Things probably won't be the same between you two.

Another thing you should consider is the fact that you are asking how to get this girl to like you more and hang out with you more when she should already be doing that if she still were your good friend. I'm not saying that she isn't a good friend, but if you are finding yourself trying to squeeze into her social life when you didn't have to before, then maybe she's moving on.

What you should do is try calling her or asking her if you both can hang out after school or on the weekend. Try to make plans, because it sounds to me like she's not going to be the one to make the move. Believe me, even someone you've known for so long can change overnight into a whole different person. You think that you'll be best friends forever, but then it turns out that it's not happening that way. I know thats why you probably don't want to hear that you should move on. Because you believe that she'll be the same person forever. Remember, if you find yourself trying so hard, it's not worth it anymore.

-TheTeenGirl

From what I hear about these guys, maybe you should ditch them both.

If you see someone who might only care about themselves, that probably how it'll be if you have a relationship with him.

And if you date someone you can't really see, it may not go so well because you may not know what he's doing at his school to other girls.

If you aren't feeling very wanted or welcomed around these guys, then maybe you don't need to choose.

-TheTeenGirl

You and him probably really did have a connection, but he really should have accepted that you are living one of your life's passions.

That is why a lot of people who are so into their career or hobbies don't have a ton of luck with dating. Their schedules are so busy that theres just no room for a relationship. But you say that your band only meets on weekends which isn't so bad, but when you are having a serious relationship, it's a lot of time to take away. Maybe he wants to go out late with you on a weekend.

I wouldn't suggest giving up your singing for a guy because that would probably give him the idea that he can tell you what you can and can't do. Plus, this is something you really want so I wouldn't let it go.

Since you are the one who broke it off, I think you should let him know that you do still have some strong feelings for him, but you can't deal with the critisism about your band. Let him know that you are going to continue through your singing and if he can't deal with it, then that's his decision whether you both work this out or not.

-TheTeenGirl

I know that you are probably tired of your brother doing so many things that aren't responsible on his part and not being able to convince him of that.

What you have to learn is that you can't. He is almost an adult, and he may not be acting like one at the moment, but he will be the one to decide what his life has in store for him by doing what he does. I know that you probably want something done about this because you feel like he's getting away with a lot and is hurting you and your family, but soon he will be the only one he has after all of the pain he has caused you.

He may not pay his price tomorrow, next week, or even the next 5 years for that matter. It could be a life sentence of paying the price. One thing that can mess so many things up. And I know you feel impatient about him paying the price later, but it's not something as small as tripping or just getting hurt physically. I'm talking about something resulting in jail. You say that his actions could make your parents put him in jail. That will be a price he will pay if he continues this. Or maybe Amber will leave him. I'm not saying that it will actually happen, but if he's a jerk to everyone around him, he'll be a jerk to her too eventually.

He's at a point in his life where he decides what will happen in the future or what he wants. If he decides that grades are not important, then he's deciding that having a good paying career isn't important. That's also a big price to pay. No education-no good jobs. If he decides that sneaking out is ok, then he's deciding that respecting his parent's wishes isn't important. Do you see how these decisions can bring a whole new consequence to his life?

If he were younger, I'd probably tell you different, but he's almost 18. An age where he takes over and makes the hard decisons. The decisions that may truly define him. I know that it's hard not to be concerned about him when he's been the center of attention lately, but sometimes thats when you should find a place or somebody else to get him out of your thoughts. A place where he doesn't really exist.


-TheTeenGirl

This tends to happen a lot with friendships and I really don't know why these girls have to take advantage of their long friendships by doing this.

But, I think you should try confronting her with this problem first. I know you may not think she'll own up to it, but just give it a try. I'm not expecting her to come forward either, but if she's really your friend, she'll take your feelings into consideration and watch what she's doing. If she gets defensive and upset when you bring up this issue, you just need to say:

"We've been friends for years now and I've always trusted you with my feelings and as a great friend. I would never try to make things up to ruin this friendship because it means a lot to me and when I see you flirting with so and so, I feel like it may not mean as much to you as it does me. I just wanted to let you know that this is hurting my feelings."

And if she's still angry, let it go. As for these guys that your friend is after, whatever you do, don't go to an extreme with flirting with these guys. You don't want to find yourself in competition over a guy that is only a crush to you and your friend. Let things happen. If this guy doesn't want to go to the movies with you, then he doesn't. Too bad for him. Don't throw yourself at him. If a guy truly likes you, he won't make you fight for him, he will come to you and notice you. Don't worry about what your friend is using as bait, or how she may do something to make him like her more. You will stand out to a guy over other girls eventually.


-TheTeenGirl

I have a question for you. Why does it really matter how he feels about you when you are not interested in him?

If you are truly wanting to be moving on from this guy or was moving on, then things like that wouldn't matter to you. Besides, if he does like you, you are probably not the only girl that he likes since he's always flirting with other girls. So my advice to you would be to worry more about other guys than this one. He sounds exactly how you described him. One of the bad boys who will break a girl's heart just to do it.


-TheTeenGirl

Yes, move on. Do you realize that he is moving on because he's too old for you? He is an adult!

What was he doing dating you in the first place? MOVE ON!

-TheTeenGirl

You're right, you probably should have stopped your friend from sending that text. You could have easily just confronted your boyfriend about this text message girl and let him explain.

But on the other hand, what was that girl doing talking to your boyfriend that way? I really think that you and him need to a serious talk on this girl because no other girls should be talking to him that way.

Anyway, you should go to him, or contact him and explain that you and your friend got curious on his cell phone and found the text messages and your friend was the one who texted this girl. Admit that you should have took the cell phone away, but you didn't because you felt a little hurt about these texts you saw. So you let things happen and that you are sorry.

If he isn't willing to talk or accept your apology, then you'll have to wait until he finds his way out of his anger toward you and is ready to talk. Just next time, try keeping your relationship between yourself and your boyfriend. I don't see your relationship ending at this point, I think it's just a hurdle that you'll both just have to get over together.


-TheTeenGirl

You need to assure yourself that it's ok to be angry and upset about certain things that happen. If someone ditches you, you have the right to be angry. You just need to fully understand that it's not unusual to be angry, it's how you feel about a situation, don't be afraid to let it out in some way and feel it.


Such as exercising. If you get angry, do something that requires some skill and work. Like hammering a bunch of nails into a piece of wood.

And as for the expression of your feelings, if someone wants to know what's wrong you don't have to tell them EVERYTHING. Just say, "I'm just a little angry because..." And then fill in the rest. You don't have to sound poetic and sissy in order to let people know whats up. And also think about this: If people want to know how you are feeling and why, let yourself communicate these feelings. It isn't like they asked for nothing. If you start letting at least one person know what's wrong, you'll pick up on it with everyone.

-TheTeenGirl

I think you are right, He isn't over his girlfriend. You shouldn't expect him to even still love her just because they had an intensly good relationship. The attention is focused on this girl in your conversations, he's constantly bringing her up and telling you how much he misses her, and he's always trying to assure you that he's over her. If I were to have a chart of signs that someone is still in love with their ex, I'd put those signs in as major warning signs.

Now he may like you a lot too, but it will never work if he's always talking about her AND if he's expecting you to be alike to her in your relationship. He's looking for a girl just like his ex except all of the pain she caused him. And you should tell him that he is not going to ever find that in you. You are the new girlfriend, not the old one.

Right now, I really think you need to hold all of this off and stick with being a close friend. If he stays away from her and gets a lot more time to get over her and clear his head, he will eventually understand that it's time to move on. And he will also get that it's not a turn on when you ramble on about your exes. Don't let him convince you that he really is over her when you tell him that he needs more time. He's talking about his ex and doesn't even know when he's doing it probably.

-TheTeenGirl

You can't actually turn him into a more wild side, but you can tell him that you want to be with him, but you aren't even close to being ready to settle.

If he still acts like the romantic guy he is and is taking things with you seriously, then tell him you are better off staying friends.

-TheTeenGirl

The only way you'll be happy again is to stop trying so hard with your new school. Usually when people feel alone and left out, they start acting like another person to fit in. Which is being mean to people. If you become rude to try feeling like a person in your school, then of course you'll be unhappy. It would suck to not be yourself just because everyone doesn't want you to.

The first thing you should do is know that you truly are a great person and you may have plenty of dislikes about yourself but that doesn't mean that you aren't beautiful or are less of a person. People who have a lot of friends have a lot of confidence in themselves. They know that they deserve friends and that they are truly beautiful. I know you think it's hard to believe in yourself and it is, but start with the little things. If you make a good grade, congradulate yourself and be happy. Go home and tell your parents. Let yourself be proud of you. Then you just have to start building up. The key to making friends is talking to people. If someone tells a joke, laugh and tell them that was a really good joke even if it's not. It's not really lying, it's another way of saying, "I think you are a funny person and I want to be your frind"

Another key is complimenting people. If you see a girl wearing a shirt you really like, tell her it looks great on her and ask her wear she got it. Don't be afraid to compliment people, it can really make someone's day. Especially if it's someone who doesn't have a lot of friends either. If someone is rude for some reason when you try to be nice, don't respond to it. That is a sign that they are one of those people you shouldn't try being friends with. Don't take it harshly. You've got better things to worry about than someone who can't even have respect for you.

Another way of communicating is if you see a classmate struggling, ask them if they need help. Or if you are struggling, ask for help from someone you know who knows the material well. And after you help someone, say, "Ok, do you understand now? If you get stuck later, let me know I'm here to help" so they know that they have someone to come to when they can't seem to understand. Plus, you'll start feeling really good after you help. You'll know that you are a nice girl to hang around or talk with. You have to start out with little things to make good friendships. And remember, when you do start making a good friend, don't stop being nice and helpful. These are skills you'll need to use for the rest of your life.

-TheTeenGirl

I'm really sorry to tell you this, but this girl needs to just be left alone.

If she's not going to even talk to you, then why look for ways to start making her talk to you? She already said that she doesn't want to be with you, so you'll have to take that and move on.

It's really hard to deal with rejection, but you make it ten times harder when you start thinking about how you can change to the guy she wants, or think about ways to make her like you again. You are making this too hard on yourself.

I know this isn't the answer you wanted, but it's the honest truth, move on without her

-TheTeenGirl

Either your friends are making things up or they are hearing people make things up and telling you about it.

It sounds to me like if you want something more with this guy then you'll have to make the move. And when you sent that e-mail, that was a move. Did he ever respond to the e-mail?

You should ask a friend to ask him how he feels about you. That way, you know for sure that it's coming straight from him and not just your friend who heard it from god knows who.

You can also just tell him what you've been hearing. Say, "hey, my friends keep telling me that you are planning on asking me out and it never happens, are these just rumors?" and see what he says about that. Rejection is a scary thing, but I think you'd rather know the truth now than be stuck not knowing at all.

If you don't want to move to the next step and keep it a friendship, then keep it a friendship. Like I said, you are the one left to make a move if you want something more.

-TheTeenGirl

You feel akward and uptight around the guys you like because you don't know what they'll think of you if you say something wrong.

Thats a big problem too because you have to learn that if you are not the uptight type of girl, then you have to start being your true self again. It's really hard to relax around people who we truly care of what they think of us, but the key to knowing if a guy is right for you is knowing that you can be relaxed and not so tense around them. I'm not saying that you should suddenly feel relaxed around some guy and thats how you know. You just have to start getting to know him a little more. Don't try to think about whether he flirted with you or not.

Nobody knows every single sign of flirting. It's really complicated to answer questions of whether someone is flirting because nobody is for sure what is what. You say that you want to flirt like everyone else does. Well, you think that all of the other girls who flirt aren't nervous or uptight either when it comes to flirting with guys they like? It's not that you are doing anything wrong, you aren't singled-out or the only one who feels this way. Now, some girls are just able to put themselves out there better which is ok too. A lot of times when you get nervous and turn into another person around a guy, it's an insecurity problem.

But who isn't insecure of themselves at times? You just have to learn that if you aren't secure with yourself, then you'll go through life worrying about what other people think of you, and you'd be lying to this guy and yourself if you stay insecure. In other words, relax and just make this guy like a friend first so that you can have an idea of who this guy is.

-TheTeenGirl

Well, I don't see why you and K started worrying about them talking about you. I think they were just having fun talking in their own languages.

Is there some reason that led you to believe they may be talking about you? I'm guessing probably not.

What you should do is let them know that you want to talk with them too in english. You just want to be friends that talk about everything. So, just ask them to set aside their Gibberish and talk together too.

-TheTeenGirl

The only way you'll get to be trusted and respected by your mom is to prove to her that you can play sports and hold up your grades at the same time. It's a hard job, but it can be done.

Right now, you have proven her wrong. You should have just shown her your grades and tell her that you'll start working harder. But then you lied and made her have to force it out of you. Start over with everything. Let this guy you like know that you are going to have to cancel your plans and don't worry about tennis.

Start working on your grades and prove to your mom that you can be responsible and trusted. You can't do that by failing and then still expecting a way to go with friends. Be mature and accept your consequences for these bad choices you've made.

-TheTeenGirl

Your friend and boyfriend are just acting like an immature couple. And it will probably always be this way when you are around them for now.

Later on, they'll eventually start getting used to each other and the "honeymoon" phase will be over. But for now, start asking her for you both to spend time alone more together. Tell her that you miss the times when it was just the two of you and you want to relive that for a night. Try letting her talk to you about this boyfriend instead of having negative thoughts about him and her together. I know it's probably just childish play love, but again, this is a corny phase that you and your boyfriend have gone through.

When it gets too annouying, start hanging out with other friends besides this one. Don't ditch her, just give her some time to settle in with this guy.

-TheTeenGirl

I think your problem is the soap. It's not really ment for shaving.

Shaving cream will probably protect your sensative skin under your arms when you shave. I'm not saying that you can't use soap, but soap is slippery when on skin, and its just better to use shaving cream because it's thick and it won't slide off.

Also after shaving, try applying lotion to the areas to help even better.

-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

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