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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

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13

I'm kind of scared now of what's been happening.. The Connecticut, the Boston.. I'm kind of getting scared of going to school and stuff :( Please help

I understand that some of the things that have happened recently can be scary, they are scary. The problem comes in is if you let these things scare you to the point that you lock yourself in you home or your room and refuse to leave for fear harm will come to you.

When you do this then the people who do these things win for they are not only seeking to harm those that get hurt by what they do. They are also trying to do what you are writing about. Scaring people to stay at home, not to go to work or school.

Our countries military are fighting a war right now against people who do just that. The Taliban do not want female children to go to school So they use guns, bombs and fear to keep them at home. When the young girls stay home then the Taliban win. This is very wrong.

People look at firefighters and police officers as heroes because they run towards things that most people run away from out of fear. I'm a retired firefighter. I'm not a hero and neither are any of the others or the police officers. We are people who really are just as scared as you may be but we trust our training and ability to do what needs to be done to keep you and others safe.

You need to be somewhat like us and trust that those of us in emergency service will do all we can to keep you safe. TO trust we will find these people or the devices they use to terrorize before they can harm you. We all are very good at what we do to this effect. What happened yesterday is still being investigated. When we find out the why of how it happened, then we can take steps to prevent it from happening again.

The facts are as to what has happened, these senseless acts, you actually live in one of the safest countries on the planet. The chances of this happening to you are very, very small. To small to allow any one of these events to paralyze you in fear.

As the police are constantly saying. Your eyes are their most valuable asset. You know your school and neighborhood better then anyone else. If something doesn't look right report it. They would much rather investigate a false alarm then the real thing. Just be vigilant an you will be safe. If you see something that is not right, someone that doesn't belong there report it to faculty or police. But don't live in fear for then the bad guys win and that's wrong.

so I have heard many times to use visiting her mother in jail as a learning experience for my daughter? So what exactly is meant by "learning experience"? Does it mean that it shows that anyone can make mistakes and go to jail and not just the "Bad guys" in the movies? If so, I would say that is not a bad idea.

The use of the term "Learning Experience" can be over used. In your situation I'm not sure i would use visiting her mother or call visiting her mother a "Leaning Experience." Your daughter has already learned the biggest lesson, that being if you break the law you can be sent to prison. Visiting your wife should in itself reenforce that lesson. Something your wife can and should herself remind your daughter of when she visits.

You and you,re daughter need to discuss your visit not to see what she has learned but so you can draw her out on her reaction and how she feels seeing her mother in jail. If she won't speak with you about her visit(s); then as I've said before you should find her a therapist she can talk with. A therapist allows her too speak freely and in confidence about how she is feeling. Something she may not want to or feel she can do with her father.

I fell on my cell phone landing with my elbow bent, cracking the screen. A few days later, my elbow began to hurt worse than when it happened and now my entire arm is tingly all over. I thought it was from the fall, but could tiny particle of the screen have somehow seeped into my skin?

Anything is possible. More likely you bruised or chipped a bone in your elbow. I would suggest seeing your doctor or going to a hospital ER for an x-ray.

My period affects my quality of life
I am bothered by the amount of bleeding & the pain that I have during my period
My period makes me feel depressed, tired or moody
My life would improve if I could decrease or completely eliminate my periods
I would like to learn about a simple procedure that can help me take control of my period
I am sure I do not want any (more) children in the future
I cannot use any birthcontrol method due to Chronic Allergies
I did reseach on NovaSure But I still need to be on birthcontrol & I cannot use it
I really need a procedure to help with my periods & something to protect me from having anymore children
Is sterilization my only option or is there another procedure for me

This is a question for your GYN. We are not doctors and we cannot answer a question such as the one you asked with any reasonable certainty.

I only know of two ways a woman's period stops. The first is the natural way when she reaches menopause. The second is through removal of her womb. Her ovaries are usually left intact if possible. This I believe is called a partial hysterectomy.

Some doctors will perform this procedure if there is a history of Cervical cancer in a woman's family and she is sure she does not want any more children. To perform this procedure just to stop menstrual cramps or as a form of birth control; you may not be able to find a doctor willing to do so. Performing a procedure like this on an otherwise healthy women goes beyond the scope of most doctors ethics.

Okay, so I'm 18, female and in my last year of secondary school (or high school) and there's this guy in my class who has been flirting with me over the past few months.

At the start it was just general flirting, but soon he started feeling my legs whenever I sat beside him, and even when I told him to stop, he'd still keep doing it.

Then he asked me in January to go to the debs (Irish version of 'prom') with him and I said okay, but a month or so later he said that he wasn't sure if he was going ... I still don't know if he is or not.

Then he kept up the usual flirting and annoying me until a few weeks ago when it was a non-uniform day in school. I wasn't wearing anything seductive, or whatever, but he kept feeling me up all through the day and I told him so many times that I didn't want him to do it, but he kept on doing it.

The next day I gave out to him and he said sorry and that he'd never do it again ...

Then he asked me for my number, and I don't know why I gave it to him, but I did ...

So since then he's been texting me about nothing but sex-related things.

He started asking me all about the guys I have had sex with before, which was completely none of his business.

He suggested having no-strings attached sex with me, and I said that I would never do that. So he asked me if I did have feelings for him, and I said yeah, because I just do (I don't know why).

Then he said that he would go out with me, but he thinks it sounds gay ... Which makes NO sense at all since I'm a girl.

Two nights ago he was asking me why I don't take dirty pictures and I told him that I never would ... and then last night he sent me a dirty picture! I went mad at him, and he said that he was sorry, but then he tried to convince me to send one back ... so I told him to text me again when he's not thinking about sex, and he hasn't since then.

I know most guys are crazy about sex, but I don't want a guy who's just going to talk about it to me constantly. I don't even know why he talks about sex so much because he's a virgin, and everything he knows is just from what he hears from his friends and what he sees on p*rn.

Should I tell him that I want someone much, much more than a sex-obsessed fool?

Should I explain to him that I'm tired of talking about sex?

Should I just ignore him?

I just don't know what to do about him!

First I would tell this guy to get lost. He has no interest in you as a person only as a sex object. He has more than just an average male obsessed with sex.

While I am not aware of the laws in Ireland I do not believe they are much different than they are here in the states when it comes to sexual harassment and sending dirty pictures, nude I assume, of himself, over the Internet or email. Both are unlawful. He is sexually harassing you and if he is underage, in Ireland, then he by sending you those pictures forced you to be in possession of child pornography and he is also a distributor of child pornography since he sent them. This too is unlawful in most western countries.

IF he refuses to listen to you when you say stop or no to his touching you or harassing you. Then you should report him to the local police and let them handle the matter.

As for dating him; forget him I'm positive you can do much better than him.

So I'm 13 female and last night we had this party thing and we smoked hub but it was му first time and I didn't smoke much. Then today I went to this place and I had 1 thing of brutal fruit and 2 brutal fruit slushies which is obviously just brutal fruit frozen/crushed or whatever cs once it melts then its brutal fruit. Well after that I started feeling really nauseas and felt like throwing up and tired and stuff. Can it be from the brutal fruit and stuff? And don't lecture ме on underage drinking cs it was just once or underage smoking cs that's also just once

What happened to you is your bodies way of telling you that you are doing something it is not liking or it is not ready for. Alcohol and smoking for someone your age, as you seem to be aware, is poison to a person your age. Drinking in access to a person of any age is poison and the body rebels.

Common reactions to over drinking is passing out or vomiting. Smoking depending on what you smoke can have several different reactions most of which are not good reactions. Combine the two as you did, both being the first time, I'm not surprised at how you feel or felt.

The following is not meant as a lecture. At your age drinking and smoking can do more to harm and stunt your development than just about anything else you can do to yourself. Just as bad is the way the police look at under age drinking. Should you be caught by the police it goes on your record and it looks bad for you when you apply to college as you must list any arrests even if it is a juvenile arrest. What the school sees is someone prone to being a party person.

Some of the best colleges also have a reputation of being party schools. The admissions people are doing their best to single out those that look to be or have a history of being party kids and denying them admission.

My advice is if you have intentions of going to college that now that you have tried this stuff that you forget about it until you are older, wiser and more mature.

Been there, done that and have the Diploma from a no name school to prove it.

Hey guys! So i want to surprise my boyfriend of 2 years and spice things up a bit! So last week when we were hooking up, he said to me, "Why don't you grow a strip of hair leading to your vagina, that'd be hot!" and then i was like "Nah, nah its okay." Because I thought he was totally joking. Yesterday I heard guys talking about how they think it's hot and I read a few things on the internet about how it turns on some guys. So now I'm assuming he wasn't joking.
This whole entire week I've been on my period. (personally one of the worst weeks ever because i want to hook up so bad but i cant!) ANYWAYS, having my period and not being able to hook up with him until its gone has made me so excited to be sexual with him next week. SO excited to the point where I want to surprise him with a landing strip! .. Because I'm assuming he thinks thats hot. I'm only 2 days into growing it out and its already getting there. But my question is, do you think when I take off my pants he will be grossed out or turned on? His humor is very sarcastic but I don't think he sounded sarcastic while talking about it. And he wouldn't be sarcastic about his sexual desires. Do you guys have any opinions? Do you have a boyfriend/husband that enjoys that? Please give me feedback and share your experiences

xoxo gabi

I will give you my perspective as a man. When I make love to a women and I take down her panties I want to see some hair. To me a totally shaved women looks like a child. Pubic hair is for me what makes the difference.

I understand from a personal hygiene point of view why you might want to shave your vaginal area though shaving your pubic bush to me is unnecessary. I also under stand the need to trim it for your swim suit in the summer. In the winter a totally wild bush to me is exciting.

Moral of my short story is we guy are finding pubic hair to be more exciting than a shaved or totally shaved pubic and vaginal area. More and more XXX rated movies the female stars are showing pubic hair as is amateur pictures of women. So I believe your boyfriend is not joking when he asked for a landing strip. Make it as wide as you can.

Well, you seem to know a lot about what I've asked, so I wanted to know if you'd mind helping me with something. Is it possible that we can "talk" somewhere else?

No I only give advice in on this website I'm sorry thank you for asking

I am 13, I'm a female. I like girls but then I like boys at the same time. I was skating with a friend and she was holding my hand and I really liked that. And I told her I that I like girls and boys. She just looked at me really weird. I love her so much.

At your present age the fact that you like girls and boys is normal. You are not a lesbian or are you bi. You are being curious about your own sexual make up. If you were a lesbian you would have those true feelings at this time. So relax and enjoy the start of teenage life.

Just a suggestion. Some people are not as open as you seem to be about their sexual feelings. I would suggest you keep them to yourself for now. There is nothing wrong with feeling as you do. The problem is with them and how they might label you.

My last period came at the end of March during the week of spring break at my college. A few days after my period came my boyfriend, who lives out of state, and I made love a few times. I started dating him two years ago, and we made the decision since the first one or two times the two of us became intimate to not use condoms which resulted in us using the withdrawal method. At 22 (I lost my virginity at 18 going on 19) and almost 24 (he lost his when at age 17) you would think we would make better choices when it comes to sex but sadly we don't.
The other day I experienced very abnormal symptoms for my body. I believe that I started spotting because the toilet paper started to tell me that faint traces of my blood came out of my uterus (too much information I know). At the time I thought it strange because my period never starts out light. My first days of menstruation always tend to be heavy and very bloody, I actually get nauseous if I do not take two naproxen sodium. However towards the end of my cycle, my period starts to thin out and becomes almost nonexistent.
Should I be concerned about this? Could it be a pregnancy symptom? I'm trying to tell myself that it's probably stress from the last few weeks of the semester. As a third semester college student trying to transfer from a community college to an ivy league school as an accounting major, I get anxious about the effects that my grades will have on my future. I took three tests this week, and found out that I will not be exempt from the statistics final because I got questions wrong that I knew the answers to resulting in a 170/200 (an 85%, otherwise known as a B). Next week I have four papers due, a performance and a creative writing assignment for my English class (both things are due on Tuesday), a one page summary on an article for my phys ed class (due on Friday), and a 6-10 page paper due for my Western Civ II class (on Thursday). None of which I worked on yet, since I was too concerned about my tests. I also want this semester to end with a 4.0 GPA that I really worked for. Due to the death of my paternal grandmother in February completing my work has been difficult for me I currently lack all motivation. However I drag myself through this semester because I know it's what she would want for me, she was so proud of my success in college. Not only that but I committed myself to completing college and earning a highest recognition honors associates degree and bachelors degree from a well-known university.
I really do not want to have a baby yet. Due to the goals we have set for ourselves, neither my boyfriend or myself are ready to have children.

You should take a home pregnancy test if for no other reason then to put your mind at ease. The home pregnancy test are fairly accurate.

You write that you are under a lot of stress at this time. Stress can and will upset a woman's cycle. If stress is the cause of the problem your cycle will return to normal when your stress is relieved.

As for using the pull out method of birth control. This is the least effective form of birth control. Are you aware that the male emits a small amount of fluid during sex that acts as a lubricant. This fluid is seminal fluid and contains semen. The male is unaware that he is emitting this while having intercourse as it is not like an ejaculation. There is enough semen in this fluid to make you pregnant.

A condom is 85% effective in preventing pregnancy when worn correctly. Condoms also block the transmission of many STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. When you have unprotected sex with someone you are having sex with everyone they have had unprotected sex within the pas. You are also playing Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver when it comes to avoiding pregnancy.

You should at the very least consider being on birth control yourself. At the very least this will help regulate your periods even during times of stress. I would also suggest you reconsider condom usage until you and your boyfriend are absolutely in a long term monogamous relationship together, not apart.

My man is 33 yrs. old and he has a problem getting hard and performing so at first i thought it was me...but then we did it again and he had the same problem he says its because hes nervous but i really dont know if hes lieing or not i dont understand what this means, can anyone help me !?

It is possible you man does suffer from a form of ED. The male ego is very fragile when it comes to his penis, so the subject of ED is something that will be problematic to bring up to him.

There are many reasons for a man suffering with ED. Stress and depression top the list of reasons. If your man continues to have a problem rising to the occasion as it where then you should as lovingly as possible convince him to see his doctor. ED does not have to be a problem he needs to suffer with.

If he is suffering from stress, as in work related, or other then the down side of stress is depression. They go hand and hand. There is help for this problem and the ED problem should correct as well. If there is other reasons such as high blood pressure or high cholesterol this is an early sign that something is wrong that needs a doctors attention and should be heeded.

If none of what I have mentioned is the problem than a visit to a Urologist is in order. At that point the Urologist can prescribe those little blue pills or find the cause not related to those I have mentioned.

Most important though is your man see a doctor and be tested for what I have mentioned and possible low testosterone which can strike at his age.

I know of some ways, yet they're getting "old". Me being 14, "sex" is off of the list. Also, I've tried fingering myself, but it kind of hurts. I think I'm too "tight". Anyways, if you know of any ways that won't hurt, please say so. Thank you!

Try rubbing just your clitoris. Use a bit of lubricating gel so as not to rub yourself raw when doings o. You can also while doing this caress yourself over your vagina without entering. Don't for get to caress your breast and nipples while masturbating as it is all pare of the experience for you.

My husbands friend has been making sexual comments to me and my husband is blaming me. He told me it's because my shirts are 'too low' The shirt I was wearing sits above my cleavage. I have never been unfaithful or given him any reason to think I have been. Lately he's been making me angry because he doesn't seem to trust me. Am I in the wrong for feeling angry? how should I deal with this? I've tried talking to him but he doesn't listen to what I have to say.

There are always two sides to every issue though based on what you have written I would have to say you are not wrong. Your husband seems to believe whatever his friend is telling him rather than what you his wife are telling him. This to me is a big red flag in your marriage.

Trust is number 1 in any marriage. Why your husband is choosing to defend or believe his friend over you is what you need to find out and either put a stop to or figure out if you want to stay in this marriage.

From what you have written it appears you husband values his friendship over his marriage. This is not good. Marriage counselling could help with this.

please could anyone take a few minutes to fill out the questionnaire, would be much appreciated. just follow the link thanks, http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/6B2FQC2

I just took your survey. I would be interested in seeing your results and interpretation. Please post them or a link to view them to this site.

Hello,
I will be going to the states this summer (I am from Europe) and I was wondering whether it is acceptable or reasonable to ask for half sized portions when ordering a meal in restaurants?

I am not much of a big eater and also trying to watch my portion sizes and I know here it is perfectly acceptable to ask for such a request and I was just wondering if this is also fine in the US? As I will be travelling around and staying in hotels, I'd rather not have the leftovers boxed...

Most restaurants do not offer 1/2 portions. IF the menu offers senior meals order from the senior menu as these meals are generally of smaller portions.

I will be spending three days in New York in the summer and I was wondering if there are some recommendations on where to go, what to do that are not the typical tourist spots?

I would also like ideas on how to choose a decent restaurant for meals - is there anything to look out for that's a definite nay?

Pretty much any recommendations on places and activities from a real New Yorker would be very much appreciated! I'd rather go beyond the usual tourist traps :)

While I no longer live in New york I was born there and raised on long Island until I moved to my present location. NYC has many points of interest many of which are of interest to all people and many places for people with specific interest.

Of general interest are, Grants Tomb, (no one knows who's buried there (old New Yorkers joke), The Empire State Building, The UN, The Statue of Liberty. Now of course is the 9/11 site and Memorial. Then their is the 3 hour Day line cruise up the Hudson River that is a must; even for New Yorkers.

As for restaurants NYC is a melting pot of ethnic cuisine. Your hotel will have lists available by ethnic cuisine and prices to help you chose. One place that is must is either the Stage or Carnegie Deli. Every visitor to New York has to try one of their sandwiches. They are so big visitors say they can feed a small army.

Hot dogs are big in New York but not from a street vendor, any Deli or one of the many hot dog shops. The street vendor dogs are good and safe, though the ones from the shops are fantastic. If you get a dog in New York you have to have it the way New Yorkers have them with mustard and sauerkraut. Putting ketchup on a dog in NYC is almost illegal.

New York Pizza is also a must as is New York Bagels. They are nothing like you will find at home. Of course all of these are lunch or snack foods as pizza & Bagels can be bought by the slice or individually at just about any and all pizza shops or Deli's.

As for other interests New York has a host of Museums and other things to see and do not to mention the great Theaters and the Broadway shows. I suggest you use the Internet to find Some of the things that might interest you that I have not named. If you want to see any of the Broadway shows go online to see what is in the Theaters during your visit and order your tickets now. Most shows sell out during the summer holiday season.

This question is for all the guys out there
My boyfriend is 17 and im 16 but i was just wondering, do guys really like eating out their girlfriends? I know they like the girls reactions or whatever but do they actually get turned on by the action of doing it? Same goes with fingering their girl, do they really enjoy that too? If so, why? And be honest please theres so many curious girls out there with this question!

This is a really tough question to answer as it is really up to the individual.

If the situation is a one night stand a guy probably will not eat a girl out for he is only looking for his personal pleasure. In a situation where a long term relationship is possible then fingering and eating a girl is something I would say 90% of men will do voluntary and 90 % of the remaining 10% will need some coaching to do so. The remaing men are probably a lost cause in this area.

If you are looking at a long term situation with someone and you want the sex to be good for both of you then at some point after you become a couple you have to communicate your sexual needs and desires to each other. If oral sex is important to you then you need to tell this to him.

This goes to all aspects of sex and starts at the beginning with foreplay. How much you need to become excited. How you like to be touched. If your more clitoral than vaginal he needs to know this. Most boys take their sexual cues from porn which shows then fingering a girl in her vagina. If you are more clitoral then this is not much of a pleasure for you.

The same for a guy. He needs to tell you how he likes to be touched. A hand job is not always just a hand job. Where each have a way we lik to be touched. The same is true with oral sex for us.

The more you communicate the better your sex life with each other will be. This includes fantasies, and fetishes. Sex is the one activity where you truly lay yourself bare to each other, no pun intended. Nothing should be off limits as long as both of you agree to it and both of you understand that no means NO and stop means STOP RIGHT NOW.

I hope in some way I have answered a part of your question.

i am from india.

the colour of my body is not uniform and i feel embarrased when my boyfriend see it.

Your boyfriend is in love with you the person. Your body is what caused him to be initially attracted to you, to cause him to meet you. By the time you allow him to see you in the nude his initial attraction has changed from simple attraction to a love interest.

If he finds that your body color being not uniform is unattractive. Then he is not in love with you he has only a lust for the packaging, that being the physical shape of your body. For someone who is truly in love with someone will not see anything but the person they are in love with.

I have been married for over 40 years. My wife's body first attracted me to her. I still lust for her body, even though it has changed over the years; but I make love to my wife. I hope you understand what I have tried to convey with this statement. Which is if he truly loves you the minor blemish of your skin color will not or should not bother him.

ok i know this isnt exactly your subject but i just wanna know the answer to a simple question: is theater an elective?

I really can't answer this question since I am not aware of where you go to school. I am aware that in NYC there is a High School dedicated to the Arts that students can transfer to for high school. This of course only affects NYC students.

The only way I know of to get a true answer to this question is to ask your school principal if the course is offered and if it is an elective. Now Many schools offer a drama club which is not an elective but an after school activity and is not counted towards your diploma.

If you are looking towards going to college to study drama or theater being a member of your schools drama club will look good on you transcripts. Even though this it is not an elective credit carrying course the colleges you apply to will look at this as part of their decision making.

I've read a lot into your simple question so I hope I have helped you in some way.

Hey girls
So i want to have a full body tan but i dont use tanning beds nor will i ever. I like tanning in the sun but i always get tan lines where my bikini is and when im getting down with my boyfreind i dont want those awkward pale spots on my chest and by my V. So is there a way i can get tan full body? I have tried tanning lotions, they just turn me orange.

There are really not to many ways of getting a full body tan. The only ways I know of are belonging to a Nudist Club, live near a nudist Beach or live someplace that is secluded enough that you can sun bath in the nude without setting the neighbors off.

I do agree with you that Tanning beds are not a good option based on some of the information coming out on them. Tanning creams will not blend with a natural tan. So the only other option is to find some place you sun bath in the nude if you are willing to do so.

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