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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
What can I do? im 14, and so far I've been 5'4" ever since I was like 12. I had a big growth spurt from 4'8" to 5'4" but i dont want that to be the end. cause my dad's around 5'8 and my mom's about 6'0. my older sister is already 5'9 and my baby bro is already tall for his age.. i really want to get taller, what can i do? would losing weight help? i'm about 150 pounds now and i did this thing on a site and when i lowered my weight it said i'd be a few inches taller because now apparently my adult height will be 5'5. im already nearly 5'5 too.. so that would really suck. i really hate feeling short as other kids now going through puberty get taller, and i dont wanna wear highheels all my life either. i checked this site
"http://www.your-growth.com/" you think that would help? idk how i'd convice my parents to let me get a drug to get taller anyways so what are other things i could do? Thanks a lot for trying to help me get my dream come true to be 5'8"
The Answer
No, that site won't help you grow. It will only shrink your bank balance.
You are either going to grow, or you are not. Best to be zen about it because there is nothing to done.
Just eat well and take care of your body. Loosing weight will not help. Having *a bit* of extra weight is not such a terrible thing while you are still developing. Don't smoke or doing other silly thing that confuse your body.
Seeing your family doctor and talking about your development might help you find a few facts, if anything, ask your parents if you can do that. There are also ways doctors can check to see if you are still growing or not.
Worth it to mention however, that most (not all) females reach thier full hieght within a year or two of starting thier period. If your period has started, you are likely done, or close to done, growing.
Whatever might be true for your body, it's all in the genes you were given. There is nothing you can do to change it.
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The Question
Hi, i pulled out 3 of my wisdom teeth on tuesday...I feel fine...but I still feel very limited to what i should eat because the stitches are still in and they will only be removed by the 15th of this month. When i eat and food touches the wounded area I can feel it, it feels so weird. If I do start to eat solids and food touches the stitches or the wound...will it infect it or hurt or make it worse. Should I just eat soup until the 15th...???....I'm so confused with what i can eat. Please Help!
The Answer
Call your dentists office and ask them.
There are different ways wisdom teeth can be removed and different kinds of stitches, so it's best to talk to the people who know exactly what was done in your mouth before you make your decision.
I personally found that after a few days I could eat some soft foods like breads and pastas and some chicken... I think for the first three days I was strictly liquid only though.
But agian, best to ask YOUR destist.
One thing I will say though: Do NOT smoke, or drink through a straw or doing anything else were you have to suck. They totally are not kidding about that. I popped a stitch that way, and it's an awful thing to deal with.
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The Question
Ok, so on myspace, a lot of times people post incredibly stupid bulletins, and they think they know everything for doing so. I know I don't know everything. Now I don't want to message them about it, because usually, i'm talking to everyone. It seems as though no matter what I post as a bulletin, people STILL get really pissed at me for voicing my opinion. Like, I saw a bulletin that said something along the lines of "Be a vegan PETA is the best!" ((now, I agree with some of peta's points, but most of their ways of "awaring" the public are pretty extreme)) So, this bulletin makes me remember a video or article I've read. I go and look it up and post a simple bulletin that states "Wow, some of this stuff is pretty extreme, but they have some good points" and I post the video, in which the director tells the good parts and bad parts of PETA. All of a sudden I get some message that reads "You stupid dumb bitch you don't know what your talking about".I don't get it, why can THEY voice their opinion, but whenever I do, they lash out at me??? I try not to do this to every bulletin, in fact, I only do it to the ones that are pretty false. I try not to sound harsh about my opinions, because I just want to speak my opinion, not start a fight. Why does this keep happening? Should I just stop trying to voice my opinion all together? I know it's just the internet, but I just don't get it. Thanks...it probably didn't need to be this long, sorry...
The Answer
You should either stop trying to voice your opinions OR accept that some people will never want to hear an opinion even the slightest bit different from thier own.
Lets be honest: Myspace is not the forum for intellgent debates. It really isn't. I don't know how long you've been around Advicenators either, but I've seen some pretty nasty behavoir here when something is posted that another person really disagrees with. Imature jerks exist everywhere you go, at every age and demographic. There is no escaping them.
A person who starts calling you names after you voice your opinion is not trying to start a debate or discussion with you. They are wanking. They are making themselves feel better and choosing to live in ignorance and behave disrespectfully. There is no reason to respond to them. There is nothing even to say to that.
In your position, I would simply accept that as the way of the universe and continue to voice my opinions in the most respectful way possible. (It wouldn't be a bad idea to carefully re-read your posts and make very certain that you are being fair and not stating opinion as fact). Behavoir that is not respectful to you, simply ignore.
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The Question
my brothers friend is Really mean to me.
what does it mean?
hes only 1 grade older btw
The Answer
He's a jerk.
Or maybe he likes you.
But probably he is just a jerk.
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The Question
I dont really now what my question. I just need advice. Ugh. Well I have known my best friend for a really long time. We have been best friends since elementary, with some off time. But right now we have had a stable 3 years of friendship. Like best BEST friends, i mean i take care of her more than her own mother does. We have always had eachother, and i used to know everything about her. We used to talk about getting boyfriends, but i never told her that i didnt even care as long as i still had her. Then she got a boyfriend. At first it was fine, its like they werent dating...but they were like pretty much. She was always like "blah blah (me) is my best friend, and i couldnt live without her" She doesnt say that stuff anymore, and she used to say i was more important, but now i feel otherwise. I treat her so well, im always there for her, and i get dirt in respone. She is a good, nice person, however she gives all that good and sugar niceness to her boyfriend. So i get the leftovers which is getting ignored, and her defending her boyfriend instead of me. Im scared to ask if im more important, because she would be like im not going to say that because i love him too, and your both important. But that would really reassure me, and even if she did say I was more important I WOULDNT BELIEVE HER, because i dont get treated like it. She is always all over him, and i just sit there. She is with him 24 7 and i just cant be. She tells him EVERYTHING, and that used to be me. Wanna know the sucky part? Her bf is one of my BEST FRIENDS. What if he suddenly one day does become more important then me? Would i be choosen over?
The Answer
You and her boyfriend are DIFFERENT.
You can't pretend he that you in competition, because you aren't. You are totally different people who have different roles in her life.
I understand your feelings, I really do. I used to get soooo jealous of my friends new boyfriends, but it's useless to do so.
She has someone new to balance in her life, and maybe she is balancing it all very badly. As a friend, what you should be doing is kindly explaining to her that she isn’t doing a very good job of balancing her relationships right now because you are feeling very left out and unloved.
If she is treating you like dirt, you need to tell her so and be VERY specific, like this: "I don't like it when you break plans with me to hang with him/call me names/ignore me for days."
But if you are just FEELING like dirt right now, that isn't something she can solve. You have to fix that. When you say you couldn't even believe her if she said you were important, that means the problem is in YOU just as much as it's in her.
Will he get ‘picked over you’… Why on earth does she have to pick! She doesn’t need to pick one of you at all. All she needs to do is learn to balance and give some more time and energy to the other important areas in her life: Like her friendship with you.
Instead of stewing and beating yourself up, why don’t you try inviting her and planning a special day for the two of you. Try telling her this way “I feel like I’m loosing you and I can’t let that happen. I know you are excited about your boyfriend but I really need to have sometime with you too because you are special to me. I want to preserve that special bond. So let’s make some time together and do something fun.”
That will flatter her, and let her see just how much you’ve missed her without blaming her.
Remember: You can’t monopolize someone’s heart. No matter how much love they might have for you, there is always room for someone else too. Of course, there are only so many hours in a day! So balancing your time can be tough (and as you get older, it only gets tougher). The way you can help her learn to balance is by gently explaining your feelings to her, and doing a bit of work to make sure you still get special best friend time.
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The Question
my boyfriend.. who i love so much. and been best friends with for 6 years but we have only been dating for about a year. hes had wayyyy more relationships than me, and with one girl he decided to make a sex tape. he keeps it. i told him i didnt like that. i dont get why he has to have it if hes not with her and he doesnt watch it. yet he brings it up all the time in jokes and stuff. so its not out of mind. im afraid if this relationship goes further he wont get rid of it. should i even want him to get rid of it? i just dont understand why he still has it. and its not like were engaged ot anything.. wev talked about it. but were not currently. if i do ask him to get rid of it when should i and what should i say?? i dont want to ruin our relationship over a stupid tape but i feel he should just be over it and theres no reason to keep it. any help please, thanks so much.
The Answer
I have to agree with you on this one: It would be a good thing for him to destroy the tape.
Pornography of total strangers is one thing, but a tape of a past lover is a risky, souvenir and could cause her (and him) a lot of embarrassment and pain. Better that the thing be destroyed before it is stolen by a meddling friend, displayed during drunken revelries, or stumbled onto by accident.
Now that doesn't mean you go out and tell him "Throw it out!" or even ask it to get rid of it. It only means you should share your feelings and reasoning with him VERY clearly.
1.) It makes you a bit uncomfortable.
2.) It could be making her a bit uncomfortable for all he knows.
3.) It is risky (See note on druken reveleries)
4.) He will always have the memory of it, and can always brag and joke about it if he wants too, even if he gets rid of the tape. He still has bragging rights and always will sooo...
5.) The only reason to keep it is for his personal enjoyment of possessing the thing.
I don't think, and I would bet you would agree, that his personal enjoyment of owning the thing outweighs the fact that this will make almost any girl he dates uncomfortable (Shit, I'm a crazy open minded person, and even I don't like this!) and the fact that it could be very damaging, disrespectful and stressful for HER to know it still exists.
It would be mature, in my opinion, to realize that the risks and bad feelings outweigh his own happiness in possessing it.
After you tell him your opinion, just sit back and listen to his. Don't argue. Explain to him that you think the tape should go, but it's his tape so he can do what he wants with it. You just needed to be clear about your opinion on the matter.
He might not agree with you. If he doesn’t the only thing you can do is take a deep breath and decide if you can happily date someone who still owns a tape of him fucking his ex.
If you can, and want to keep dating him, you’ll have to forgive and let this go.
If you can’t let this go and don’t want to be with someone who thinks that keeping something like that is okay, then you need to break up.
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The Question
so last month i got my first gardasil shot. the doctor recomended it but my mom was kinda on edge to decide weather i should get it or not. i got it but my mom seems to think that there can be negative side affects. like that there is side effects more severe then it said on the paper. and some of them may not come right away at all.. it may be a few weeks or months. she says it hasnt been out for to long and that it is new so i could be bad.. but i dont know. she says she has heard negative things.
has anyone heard anything really bad about this shot? not like the common side effects that i read on the paper but ones that are more brushed under the covers and not mentioned. any that could be a huge danger to my health.
15/f
The Answer
There is no huge danger to your health. If there was a huge danger, it wouldn't be legal. It IS legal, it's just new-ish. It's been in development since the 1980s... so it's not like they rushed it through and didn't check it out throughly first. It WAS fast-tracked through the FDA due to a sense of urgency at the number of HPV infections.
Frankly, I'm not sure where your mother heard she should be worried. I have heard doctors question the effectiveness of Gardasil, but nothing else recently.
Anyways, these are serious side-affects were seen in far less then 1% of women who got the shot (when side-effects present in less then 1% of people there is no way to even be certain it's the shot that caused them!)
One: Asthma - This is an allergic reaction, and would have happened quite quickly if it was going too.
Two: Vommiting and Diarrhea - it's a gastro problem and can be treated easily with antibotics.
Three - Pelvic inflammatory disease - This is a bit like a yeast infection and is also an STI, and it is pretty much painless. It is also simple to treat with antibiotics but this small risk of it is is just one more reason you SHOULD GO TO THE GYNO FOR A YEARLY CHECK UP. Vacine or no, you should be doing that anyways.
Seriously, it is safer then a lot of the other vaccines you were given as a infant.
Here are the side-effects as listed on the Gardasil website:
http://www.gardasil.com/what-is-gardasil/information-on-gardasil/index.html#seven
And the FAQ from the FDA (read 15)
http://www.fda.gov/cber/products/hpvmer060806qa.htm
EDIT:
I want to address two of Peeps points, although she is most certainly right that in the end, you have to research for yourself and make the decision.
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention and the FDA concluded in late 2007 that none of the 3 reported deaths in the US after taking Gradsil appeared to be conected to the drug in any way.
The European Medicines Agency investigated two deaths as well, and found no connection to the vaccine.
It is very true that Gradsil has been connected to abortions, however, it was NEVER tested or approved for use in pregnant women. They shouldn't have been given the shot in the first place.
It is VERY, very, important to check the DATE and SOURCE of information online. Remember: The bad stuff ALWAYS gets more play. Look for reputable websites and the most current information.
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The Question
I just have a few questions about my birth control. So right now im taking it at around 1030 at night, cuase my doctor says its better to take it at night for a number of reasons, anyways thats not important but sinse summer is comming i wont even be home at 1030 and i want to start taking it at maybe 1230. if i just change the time will that reduce the effectiveness of it during sex?
Also this is kinda random but i was just wondering if i took it and then threw up (maybe not directly after taking it but a few hours later) would i have to take another pill or something? haha sorry for the weird quistions, thanks!
The Answer
Go ahead and change the time you take it. It doesn't make a large difference at all.
If you didn't vomit until a few hours later you are fine. It is recommended if you vomit within two hours of taking your pill, or have serious diarrhoea, you should take another.
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The Question
Ok so me and my best friend have been REALLY REALLY close for the past 7 or 8 months now and all of a sudden she meets this guy named brandon and he's 20 he's in the navy he's in virginia. My best friend is 16. And ever since she met him she acts like all her old friends are nothing she spends 16 hours on the phone with him and at the same time she's sitting on the computer with him too. Well they fight alot and he is jelous of everything she does. He's jelous of me and Chelsea's ex and my ex's too. Her parents are building a pool and he doenst want them to because he thinks she's going to have a bunch of guys over. He gets very violent too he likes to hit things when him and chelsea fight. And he never wants her to have fun or talk to anyone but him. Me and her cant have a girls day without him in the picture somewhere. He has her convinced that they are going to get married. Chelsea has always been the one to pick on me for losing my virginity at 16 when i was with him for 7 months. She has been with Brandon for 2 months and they've already had sex and the gross part I was sleeping in the same bed with them and they did it. I think that's messed up. I know this guy is just going to hurt her and i love her way to much but he is doing everything to make it so me and he dont talk. I havent spoken to her in 3 days because he wont let her get off the phone. So i have a feeling he's cheating because of how jelous he is. So what do i do? I already tried to tell her all of this and she just gets mad and says "Im gonna be ith him for the rest of my likfe i love him more than i've ever loved anyone and that will never change he's the only one i need" yet she runs to me (the only real friend she has left) when they fight. What do i do?
The Answer
The best thing you can do is remind yourself that it is impossible to control what SHE does.
Then, start being firm about what you are willing to do, because it's okay to have stardards for yourself.
Are you willing to spend a night with the two of them? No. Then politely refuse too.
Are you willing to socailize with him at all? No. Then polietly refuse too. If he just 'shows up' on one of your girls days out, call your a parent, or a cab, to take you home.
Explain it to your friend this way "I love you, but I have to have certain stardards for ME and the people I am willing to have around. I have decided that his violent and controlling behavoir is making ME unhappy, and I can't be around it anymore. You can be around him if you want, and I will always love and support whatever you choose, but I have chossen NOT to socailize with him, and I hope you can respect that and still have a space for me in your life."
She will be hurt, and she will argue with you, and say you are making her choose between him and you. You aren't. You are standing up for yourself and setting a reasonable boundry. Understand that when you do this, she might have LESS time for you, and you need to be okay with that and respect her choice as best you can.
Doing this will cut down on your misery, and more importantly, it will show her what standing up for yourself looks like. Lead by example: Label his behavoir unacceptable, and then stop accepting it. Show her through your actions, with should be firm but friendly (never fight, just say "I'm sorry, I have to leave now." and be forgiving of the fact he will constantly call her... that is just what controling people do) that you can love her but still be true to yourself and have standards.
Good luck. Be strong.
(You might also consider informing a parent. Either annoynously, or through your parents or school. Although that seems exteem, and like betrayal, if you begin to fear for her safety, you ABSOLUTELY MUST tell an adult. Because of the age difference, they can, and probably should be, seperated. Remember that, and if it becomes a choice between loosing her friendship, or saving her from harm, risk the friendship and tell an adult.)
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The Question
things are good with my boy
we're crazy about each other
but like
i cant bring myself to say "hey" to him online
he always starts the convo
which is fine
but like
i want HIM to come to me
always.
does anyone have any thoughts on this??
The Answer
Thoughts: It's a bit selfish.
A lot of people want to be 'chased' and not to chase, but like Mangy said relationships are a two-way street.
If you can't give as good as you get, sooner or later your boy will start feeling unapperciated and resentful. If you can't approach him, how will you solve conflicts? How will you ask for what you need? How will you show him you are excited to speak to him? How will he know?
Just remember you aren't the only one with 'needs'. Be senstive and polite to him.
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The Question
I'm 16, soon to be 17 in june, and I don't like tampons. Im scared that I'll get that TSS, and everytime I tried to wear one, it still bleed onto my panties, and i hate the feeling when taking them out. Is it normal or weird to like pads over tampons at my age?
The Answer
It's not normal OR wierd to perfere one to the other at ANY age.
It is recommended that virgins avoid using tampons, espcailly if they experience as dicomfort... but besides that, your choice in tampons or pads is about as relevant as your preference in icecream flavors.
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The Question
Whenever I ask my mom for anything, it takes four hours for her to respond. Today I asked if she could give me a ride to the tanning salon; she didn't answer, she completely ignored me. I kept asking for hours until she answered and by that time I bugged her so much she was in a pissy mood.
I don't mean to bug her, but she never answers me directly. This happens all the time and when I tried to talk to her about it she, once again, got all pissed off and stopped talking to me. What should I do?
The Answer
Have you tried asking her for something AND asking her will she will be able to decide.
Giving her all the information, and making the timeline clear will save you having to bother her agian.
Try it like this:
"Mom, I'd like to go to the salon. Can you tell me by 4 if you are willing to drive me or not?"
Or
"I'd like to go to the salon tonight, when will you be able to tell me if that works for you?"
Then take a deep breath, and back off a bit.
Sometimes parents don't behave maturely or communicate clearly. They are only human after all. The best thing you can do it communicate clearly, with respect to the fact that as a teen, you CAN'T know all the shit they have on thier plates, and have a Plan B.
See if you and a friend can't go to the salon togeather. Pay for a cab. Take the bus... Be independant, creative and confident.
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The Question
I am very lost in life right now. I don't know what to do. I have a ex-girlfriend that is pregnant with my second kid and I don't love her. I have been dating another girl for a month now that is 30 years old (shes about 6 years older than me) and I really started to fall for her really bad. But I haven't been honest with her. I've kept that I have kids from her and that I don't have a car right now. So last night I couldn't make it to her house, so she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I need help.
The Answer
If you expect your 'relationship' with this women to go anywhere at all, you better fess up right now about your fatherhood.
A man who lied to me about being a parent, is not a man I would ever consent to date agian. So if you care about her, be honest with her and beg for her forgiveness.
Stressful things like that don't get solved until you face them head on.
Also, just don't sleep with your ex anymore. Obviously neither of you are capable of being responsible with your reproductivity.
If you can decide to do those two things, you will start to feel a bit less overwhelmed.
Personally, I wouldn't join the US Army right now for a million dollars, espcailly not if I had a rewarding career I was happy with already. But that is just me and that is just a decision you must make for yourself and be strong enough to face your family about.
Very few people really know what they want to do with thier lives. They stumble through, fuck up, make mistakes and get stressed out. The trick, as far as I can tell, is to fuck up less and to be responsible and honest to those around you.
Don't look at your problem as "OMFG I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!" look at them with "Okay, how can I be responsible, honest and happiest in this situation." and do that.
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The Question
My ex boyfriend recently started dating this super trashy girl but for some reason it still makes me jealous to see them together. His/her friends talk crap on me when I'm around (like in class, I do not hangout with them) I know 100% that if I layed the offer to go back out with him he would dump her in an instant, but I don't want him. He was abusive and controlling. But I constantly find myself wanting to get back at him or at least show up his jerk friends. I need some ideas of how to make myself seem totally independant of him (like ways to make him jealous I guess but in a mature way) and how to deal with his anonying friends. Any ideas? I'm 16/f
The Answer
There is no 'mature way' to make someone jealous. Trying to make someone jealous is simply an imature behavoir.
You don't need to *seem* totally indepedant of him. You ARE totally indepedant of him. If he is so stupid he doesn't see that, well, there is nothing you can do that will make him any less of an idiot.
It's okay to WANT to do something, but it's far better not to bother. Frankly, I've never seen anybody try to make another person jealous without having it blow up in thier face.
It wont make you feel better.
The best thing you can do is learn to stop caring what he thinks. That way, if he doesn't get jealous, you don't give a shit, and if for some strange reason he does, it's just a nice bonus.
Just give him and his friend exactly what they deserve: Ignore them completely. They simply don't matter.
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The Question
40/M
I've known this woman for many years. In fact, I am and always have been very much in love with her, but since she was happily married I have always kept my stronger feelings to myself.
I say "WAS happily married" because about six months ago, her husband died after a long illness. I have comforted her as a friend, but so far that is all I have done. I want very much to tell her of my deeper feelings, but I'm not sure when it would be appropriate.
Let me stress that I'm not thrilled that her husband died - he was a good person who made her very happy. It's just that I also want to make her very happy, and though it happened in a tragic way the fact is that she's available now (I know that sounds really awful put that bluntly, but it's the truth). I have to admit that it's getting very, very hard to keep a lid on my feelings - especially since when she IS ready to start looking for a new relationship, I want to be sure she looks at me first!
My questions:
How long should I wait?
Would it be appropriate for me to tell her NOW how I feel, but also that I am willing to wait for as long as it takes for her to be ready?
The Answer
It would NOT be appropriate for you tell her right now.
Six months has never been enough for any person I know in any situation even vaguely similar to hers.
It is also dangerous for you getting to thinking that you somehow have first dibs when she is ready. You DON’T.
This is a common trap, so don't let yourself fall into it. Thinking that you can confess now, before she likely ready to hear this information, and somehow jump the line when she IS ready, is irrational and could end your chances before you even get one.
Most people find ill-timed confessions very off-putting. Instead of being the one their eye falls too when they are ready, your ‘confession’ becomes a stressful issue they want to avoid, even when they begin to explore romance again. You become the last person they want to consider, because your confession has burdened any relationship with you with all the emotions and grief they were feeling at the time.
If you truly wish to be respectful and have a chance with her, keep you tongue tied up until she starts to talk about dating or seeing people again. Does this mean she might meet someone before you have a chance to make your confession? It most certainly does. But it also guarantees you that when you do make your confession, you will be judged on your merits as a partner, not on any negativity, grief or resentment she might feel about your timing.
Continue to be a good friend. Encourage her to seek counseling to deal with her grief and inquire gently about how that counseling is progressing and how she views her romantic future. Only when she gives VERY clear indication that she is willing to pursue romantic relationships again (She says “Yes! I’d like to date” or she starts going on dates) should you feel free to tell her your feelings. It simply would not be fair or respectful to her, or very conducive to you getting what you want, to do so any earlier.
There is no set time for this. What is important is that you are sensitive to her feelings and what she is saying, not merely what you wish to hear.
Best of luck.
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The Question
I'm 16/f
My older sister is almost 20, still living in our parents house, un-employed, and about to quit college. My dad doesn't really say anything about it, but my mom is now heck-bent on me going to a top-notch college, getting a job as soon as possible, and all the things I want to do socially with friends doesn't even matter. I understand that they don't want me to end up like my sister, but I find it unfair. They were never this hard on her, and let her decide. Heck, she didn't even get her drivers license until last year! And now it's gotten to the point where they are catering to her every need and pushing me out into the world without warning. With that said, How do I talk to my parents about this? I want to do all of these things (drive,work,etc.) but at MY own pace.
Thanks,
AngryYoungerSister
The Answer
When I get annoyed at one of my seven siblings (which you can imagine happens with some regularity) I always find it best, first and foremost to remember this.
FAIR treatment doesn't mean THE SAME treatment.
Fair means that each person receives according to their needs.
It is a royal PAIN IN THE ASS, when for some reason; your parents see your needs as being so different from your sister's.
But that is the place to begin this conversation: "Mom, what I NEED from you right now is some respect and faith in my judgment.”
Explain to them that you are feeling 'punished' because of your sisters behavior, and even though you know why they feel that way, pushing you this hard is not helping you to succeed, but making you scared and overwhelmed.
The calmer you can be when you explain this to them the better and remember, it isn't about them being bad people; it's about YOUR feelings and what you are struggling with.
Sit down with them and talk about your goals for the next two or three years. Putting these goals on paper would really help them see that you don't NEED them haunting your every step, that you have plans and goals and need their support, not their surveillance. Writing down some of your goals and priorities will help to calm their fears and give them confidence in you. From there you can explain some other priorities, like having fun from time to time, as well.
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The Question
I have a BMI of 21.1. and am 25/f . I just recently started paying attention to my calorie intake, and I figure on most days I eat about 4000 calories, sometimes 2000-3000. of course there are days I eat more or less, but basically I eat more than the recommended daily value. I am not extremely active, I would say moderately active. my main source of exercise is walking and cleaning my house, which I don't even walk all that often. I was wondering if my metabolism is extremely high? I do gain a few pounds here and there, but that is when I eat 4000 calories a day for weeks straight, and that means some of the calories are icecream, and other junk food. Is my metabolism abnormally high, and will it slow down with age?
The Answer
You might just have a high metabolism, but you aren't really eating huge amounts... and it will likely just slow down with age.
Mine slowed down a bit at 16, I noticed I couldn't eat quite as much icecream as I once could (There was a time when I had a huge bowl each day). Now, at 23, I think mine is taking a dip agian and I actually have to pay attenion to what I put in my mouth.
It might never happen to you, but it's always good to be aware of what you are consuming, so don't become obsessed or worried about it, just pay attention.
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The Question
i came across this one site
http://www.marscandykills.com
is this true!?
if it is i am really shocked.
The Answer
Yes... and no.
It IS true that Mars Candy Corps has funded animal tests.
Not done themselves in their own labs... but funded other organizations, mostly universities, to do these tests.
It is NOT true that these tests are 'not required by laws'. Animal testing of flavanols are required by pharmaceutical laws in the US. Many of the other tests are also required by advertising laws in order to make claims like "Chocolate is good for you." So, not strictly necessary... but yes, required by laws. It was unlikely, at best, that Mars was the only organization that funded these tests.
I also would like to point out, that the video PETA has chosen to use on their website has absolute NO footage taken from any testing regarding a Mars product.
Although I agree that animal testing is likely not necessary in non-medical cases and should be avoided by ethical companies I think it is very, VERY important to seriously consider the source of the 'information' you read online.
PETA, although they have some very positive philosophies and have made wonderful strides in protecting animals, is a rather militant organization in their behavior, which is willing to mislead and exaggerate to get a greater reaction from the public.
They are trying to shock you. That is NOT responsible social marketing. You need to take a look at the bare facts and decide where your beliefs really lie.
Remember that even thought a cause might be ethical and important; there are organizations, religions and governments out there who will stop at NOTHING (even outright lying and misleading you) to get you on their side.
Approach all information as an intelligent skeptic and figure out calmly, without getting 'shocked', what you think about a topic.
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The Question
16/f
This is kinda long.. I'm 16 and i'm dating a 19 yr old. He has a baby thats 3 and his babys mom pregnant again... Now they live together but he says nothing is going on. And she got pregnant while me and him were broken up. We have been together a year on and off.. And I completely love this boy and i've tried to let him go but its so hard. Within the first month i found out he was dating another girl but they never saw each other so i didnt care and then the first time we broke up he started messing with this girl and hes cheated on me a hundred times with her but now he says they're done for good. but i'm not too sure if i believe him.. this is a mess what do i do.. and if you think i should break up with him please tell me how to get over him and just know that i see him a lot its my brothers best friend
THANKs
Lynzi
The Answer
You would have to be an idiot to believe this guy isn't, or wont, cheat.
I don't think you are an idiot: I think you know this guy is scum and not worth another moment of your time. Just be grateful that you aren't pregnant by him.
Break up with him, then avoid him the best of your ability. If he comes over to your home: Go out. If your brother insists on talking about him to you, ask him to stop. Surely your brother doesn't WANT you going out with a nineteen yearold cheating ass with two kids even if he is friends with this loser! So he should support you in this breaking up and stay far away from this guy.
Then you just need to cry it out and GET over him. I afriad there is no trick to this. You just have to make it happen and stay busy. Getting over someone doesn't just happen, you have to work hard at it.
Good luck.
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The Question
well my boyfriend has been pushing me to have sex, and I say no, but last night he like held me down and did it. Like, I fell asleep on the couch and he like held me down and started having sex on me, it felt good, but I didn't want to.
is this rape?
The Answer
Yes.
Or at the very least, sexual assualt.
Break up with him. Tell an adult you can trust. Consider legal action.
A boy who will FORCE you to have sex is a monsterous scum bag. He doesn't love you. He didn't even like you enough to not abuse you.
It doesn't matter if it felt good, you still said no. Someone could shove dutch chocolates in your mouth and they would still taste good, but it would still be mean and wrong of them to do.
It's okay if you love him, but you can't let it continue. A guy who thinks that raping you is okay, could very easily decide one day that insulting you, hitting you or theatening you is also okay.
Please, don't let him get away with it. Don't let him believe this is okay behavoir. The only way you can show him how NOT okay this is, is by dumping him, and pursuing the proper legal response to his behavoir.
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