HectorJr's advice column

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Q: there is this guy that i really like. the only problem is that he's too nice. how this is a problem you may ask? because i never know when he is sincere. a while ago my friend liked him, so she had her friend ask him if he liked her. he didn't like her but he said he did anyway because he didn't want her to feel bad. see what i mean? and aside from that, he barely knows i exist. what should i do?

Talk to him! Introduce yourself out of the blue. Weird and unusual? Yes. Is it acceptable? Of course! Talk to this guy, get to know more about him and at the same time let him know more about you. If you feel that after knowing more about him that you still like him, then flat out and openly say: hey I need you to be 100% honest and tell me if you like me or not. Are you sure he is always like that? I mean it could just be he seriously didn't want to hurt her feelings because he wanted to be her friend.

Personally, I find that when most guys do that and try to let things happen or something just so they don't hurt the girl, that usually means they like them more than they don't like them; as in they don't want to harm things and keep it neutral.

So yeah, talk to him and get to know him. At the beginning of the friendship let him know what it is you've heard or seen about him, and ask if he will try to take your friendship serious, regardless of whether or not it develops into a relationship. Hope that helped and good luck.

Q: hi...im 16/f
here's my problem...im dating this guy named john and hes very nice, caring, sweet...i like him very much but the only problem is that his 7 years older than me...hes 23 yrs old,is it ok if hes older than me?

Hmm, as much as you probably didn't want to hear it - with your situation age does really matter. Yes it is true that age should not matter between love, but there are many factors that easily outweight it, and most have been mentioned already.
You are also not fully grown and developed physically or mentally (by law). While it is acceptable for a 26 year old to marry a 33 year old, there is a much wider and deeper gap between 16 and 23 than there would be 26 and 33. Basically the older you are, the more range you have, but again to a certain limit. It really is up to you, but do your parents know about this? Ask them to see what they think, nothing wrong with that.Hope that helped.

Q: I'm 16/female... Me and My boyfriend have been dating for 2 months, and everything is great and I like him alot but, when we talk on the phone he is always quiet and i'm like if you dont want to talk i will just let you go, and he's always no i'll talk and the continues sitting there quietly... How can I get him to talk or start a conversation that he will talk in, because i like him and all but i'd rather hear him talk than breathe... please help i'll rate high... Thanks in advance... Sorry so long

ALIX

I had this problem, as in I was the one not talking as much. Try asking questions. On or off-topic questions. Tell him something about your day or life or anything that you would want to hear his opinion about. Get him involved, where you would actually put him in the position to require a responce. If after he responds he's still quiet, then keep it going.

Try to find something he is comfortable talking with and that you know about too. Like if he does crew [rowing, which is what I do], he might like to talk about that a lot, but then again you probably don't know much about it anyway - so while that would be a good idea sometimes, it wouldn't be good all the time. Catch something on tv? Something happen in the news recently? It's always a good idea to debate or just talk and share feelings about topics that are usually arguable; try to get his point of view on things that you might share or have differently. If it is different on a topic, persue it, and just keep asking questions. Hopefully after time he'll get used to it - talking on the phone with you that is. He's might be [I know I was] just not used to talking on the phone for more than five minutes or just to take/leave a message.

Tell a few jokes! Tell some stories! Ask about his day and tell him about yours. Try to get back out of him whatever you just told him: like if you told him about your last birthday, ask him about his. He'll come around soon. Also...have you mentioned that to him? Definately say something - 1. that will be something you could talk to him about from and hear from him; 2. since he is your boyfriend you should make an effort to keep things open between you too, both ways that is. Hope that helped and good luck.

Q: Hi! I recently got out of the military. I want to start my schooling, but don't what to major in. I know a job in the medical field would give me great satisfaction. Of course there are so many jobs and specialties to choose from. I want to ultimately pursue a career as a dermatologist. Because the schooling is extensive, and standard for grades high, it can be intimidating. I considered a registered nursing degree. This is a popular profession nowadays and the programs are VERY competetive. I don't know what to do.
Thank you for your help!!!
Jillian

Eye doctor or orthodontist. It seems like fun and the schooling is not as intence as others; much shorter. As a registered nurse you could probably either work at a hospital or school - both have pretty good pay actually. You can still go for dermatology, it actually does seem to be a second favorite to most doctors I know. Hope that helped and good luck.

Q: I'm finally getting an iPod [well buying it off ebay] I want to know a few things.

001. What model you think I should get? Why? How many songs does it hold?
002. How much do you think I should pay off of Ebay for it?
003. What should I look for when shopping on ebay?
004. Do you think iPods are worth the money?
005. I have many songs on Limewire can I get them onto it?
006. Addition Information about iPods.
007. Is the original or first generation iPod the best?

I already asked but got no responce. So I added more.

I'll rate 5's! eXOh BRiTT

001. Two suggestions:

-First: If you want something that will hold enough songs and not cost as much, then go for the 4 GB iPod Nano. You can store files, photos, and music; its light and very small; not as expensive as the others.
-Second: If you plan to use your iPod to hold files, videos, photos, and a lot of music (more than 2,000), then I would suggest the 60 GB iPod Video. It has the longest battery life span out of all the iPods, and works great with holding videos and large files for back up.

002. Not too sure. If its new, go for something under the original price.
iPod Nano
-1GB = $149
-2GB = $199
-4GB = $249
iPod Video
-30GB = $299
-60GB = $399

So if you can find something under those prices, then go for it.

003. Hmm...maybe a guarantee that it is new and unopened [if that is what you are looking for]. Look for any kind of guarantee so that you aren't ripped off. Also, make sure that you are buying more than just the iPod itself, such as cables, booklets, headphones, CD, etc.

004. If you use it to its fullest extent, yes. I use it to transfer files from one computer to the other, watch TV shows on long bus/car/train rides.

005. Yes. If you don't have it already, download iTunes for free: www.itunes.com . It works as a jukebox and you don't need an iPod to listen to music there. You will need it if you do have an iPod though. Simply find the folder where you have all of the music shared and open it under iTunes or click and drag it into the iTunes library.

006. http://www.apple.com/ipodnano/specs.html
That compares and contrasts all of the iPods - very useful.

007. I'm not 100% sure, but I would not think so. I had a 3rd Generation iPod, and they were all recalled if you bought them before a certain date. Battery life did not last long, as in after a few months it would only last 5 hours on a full charge. It probably is not the best compared to the models out there. Apple has stopped making some models, so it would be to your benefit to buy something they are currently making.

Why? Well you can get the protection plan for sixty dollars, which is insurance for two years - definately worth it. Hope that helped and good luck.

Q: Am I missing something? Do most girls lose their virginities by the time they're 16? I'm just amazed, because when I was 12, NOBODY was having sex, or even kissing... and now I hear about 12 year olds having sex! I'm 18, so I'm not THAT old...

I'm just curious...

Not much we can do to fight the media though. I think one of the worst parts about it is that some parents either know about this and look the other way...or go as far as to allow it/promote it. Unfortunate? Yes. But just as there are girls who are at that extreme and take sex as something casual, there are still some who who stick strong to their beliefs and try not to.

It is true though, within the past 5 years there has been a dramatic and obvious increase. I guess since its happening so frequent, people try to just push it aside by saying "it's ok." But yeah to answer your question, I think most do, unfortunately.

Q: Ok so here it goes this may be long and im sorry if it is. Ok Im 15/f and my boyfriend and i have been going together off-and-on for almost 2 years now. I love him soo much i just cant seem to get him out of my mind.The last time we broke up was the worse,and i started dating other people well about 4 months later so did he and it really hurt me alot. Well we actually stopped talking and i lost my bestfriend of 11 years over it. Well a few months past and we still didnt talk and he finally called me oneday and we started talking again but i had a boyfriend. I finally broke up with the other guy and me and my ex got back together. Well last weekend he went off to his uncles house and promised he would be back by 7 but he wasnt...so another guy thats bestfriends with my cousin called and i needed a way to my dad's house and he was nice enough to run me and my friend down there. We never touched like as in kissin or huggin or nothin. And i like the other guy but not like that and my b/f thinks that i cheated on him but i honestly didnt. Everytime i tell him he doesnt say anything and he throws it up in my face alot. What should i do about this?
My friends tell me hes bein to controlling and to dump him...but i cant see my life without him in it.What should i do?
Ill rate 5's for any answers!!
Thanx,
Jessica!! 15/f

Up to you to decide. Your friends aren't the ones in the relationship. If you think that he is too controlling and/or too over-protective, then you should probably consider leaving. If you feel that you need him and want him then go for it.

Think about it, but definately say something to him about it - especially the part that starts with: We never touched like as in, all the way to the end. He needs to know that and how you feel. If he is not willing to change or take your feelings into consideration, then you should think about what it is you are getting into.

As much as you may think about him and love him, if he's never going to help you, trust you, believe you, love you back, etc, then it wouldn't be a very healthy relationship; you might actually end up getting hurt even worse. So think things through and talk to him. Hope that helped and good luck.

Q: ok im 16 years old and like most girls these days i've already lost my virginity. All the guys around my school know it. And thats all they want from me. Im not the kind of person to do that. I've always had a good rep. i have alot of friends and i make pretty good grades and a cheerleader and a nice person but boys around school dont believe that. They hear one thing and they wont give me the chance to prove them wrong. Now im starting to lose some friends over this. Ppl talk about me bein a hoe and stuff at school and im not REALLY im not. Ive had sex with only one guy and they think im a slut and everything else. How can i get my rep back to the person they knew b4?

This one isn't an easy one... As to getting your reputation back 100% I'm not too sure is possible - mostly because you can't undo something like losing your virginity. Earn your respect back for who you really are? Yes, you can do that.

If somebody says something about it right to you, say so what, who cares? If when somebody says something to you just to get under your skin and they see that it does, then they will keep doing it or just spread it around. So try not to let it bother you. If some guys don't give you a chance because of that, or only want you because of that...then are they really worth it to begin with? You could actually try asking for a real chance, nothing wrong with that. Really, you shouldn't have to prove yourself to anybody to begin with - friends of yours that don't give you a hard time about it or bother you are your real friends, not the ones that constantly bring it up, spread it around, or talk to you just because of that.

So yeah just ignore it, don't let it get to you, tell them the truth and keep your head up high. Those that judge you without knowing you aren't worth it anyway. Hope that helped and good luck.

Q: i had this convo with my bestfriend and i feel like if my bf knew i said those things with my bestfriend that he would be mad... do you think that i was wrong to talk to my bestfriend like that even if it was joking. (the whole fuck thing is an inside joke with him) btw my bestfriend is a guy.

me: loserface
him: fuck you
me: fuck you better/more! HA!
him: haha
him: got me
me: of course i did
him: fuck you harder/faster
me: ugh. fuck you longer/hotter? haha
him: sounds good.
me: you know it!
him: you dont know nothing about sex.
me: maybe not.
him: haha you dont
me: is that bad?!?!?!?
him: yes
him: duh
him: these days you have to have sex 40 times before your 11
me: haha well i just broke the damn rules
him: oh goodness.
him: to the death pit for you.
me: haha well atleast im a virgin!
me: oooooo!
him: at least im not.
me: well your a bad boy.
him: sex is fun.
me: i bet.
me: and the only reason i dont before i get married is because if i do then ill be completely attached and if i was to break up with the person i did that with or they break up with me it would be bad... like heartbreaking bad... and all and it would end up being the on and off thing because were so attached to each other.... its not for moral reasons... its for....logical reasons.
him: haha yeah
me: i just dont want to be that serious with a guy right now.;
him: yeah i understabd.
him: i forgot you're only 14
me: if i was ready to be that serious with someone it wouldnt bother me to have sex before marriage. but the thing is... if your ready to be that serious with them your pretty much ready to marry them! haha.... so yeah. im sorry im only 14 :( i know i dont act it.
him: yeah you dont
me: well that cant be a bad thing
him: its not.
me: gooood
me: your the best bestfriend ever.

so my questions are:
1)is that wrong?

Nope. You are sticking to your logic and beliefs which is a good thing; you don't let other people or the media influence you into thinking that sex is casual and not a serious thing; you are not afraid to stand up for who you are to your friends or other people. Kudos for you. It is true you are only 14 - why do something like that now when you might have to live another 50 years regretting it, you know? Hope that helped.

Q: okay you know how some people say you're lighter when you weigh yourself in the morning?? is that true?? i was wondering what your real weight was..like in the morning er in the afternoon/day because i noticed when i weigh myself in the morning i weigh less than at night.

thanks!!

I find morning is usually the best - usually within the first 10 minutes of waking up. Why? Well your body has completely digested all of the food you had from the previous night, and you will probably be hungry - which means that you don't have much or any extra food in your body when you wake up. By morning all of your food is broken down already, where as at night your body is still working on the food. So yes it is true for the most part. Hope that helped.

Q: is it odd to date somebody a year younger then you, and he's a little bit shorter then you?
Im a female.

Not at all. Nobody says the guy has to be older or taller. It's about your feelings for him and his for you. Don't let anything anyone might say let you think otherwise. Hope that helped.

Q: My boyfriend and I are having a lot of issues. We've been together for two years and things are beginning to go downhill. We've had a lot of bad times, but this one is pretty bad.

Nothing has really happened. I am 15 years old and homeschooled. We've been fighting about a lot of things lately, tiny things. Last night, he told me he wasn't sure if he's ready for a serious relationship anymore. We've been very serious and I have no idea what I should do. I am pretty sure that this relationship is really worth the struggle, because we talk about everything. We never cuss and scream at each other when we fight because we know its wrong. We've decided to save ourselves for marriage, and I think thats amazing for a teen relationship thats gone for so long.

My problem is that if we break up, I know that I will lose myself, and I know everyone has to get over someone, but I have depression. So, I think it would worsen me if I had to deal with normal crying breaking up and depression all at the same time. Any advice?

(Also, I don't really have any friends to help me cope with this)

Communicate. Let him know how you feel about all of this and ask him how he feels, all the good and bad things. Has he noticed that you've been fighting about a lot of things? If not, then ask for both of you to make an effort to avoid that and if you can't, to just stop as soon as one of you realizes. Ask him why he felt that way, or what it is that made him say that last night. I mean yeah he should have said something if he did feel that way, but try to find out why it was he felt that way.

Listen. Try to be there for him as much as you can. He probably appreciates it a lot more than he lets on. It could also be that maybe the guy is holding too much inside and is unaware that he takes it out on you with the 'nothing fights'. That could not be the case, but just be there to listen anyways - even if you don't come up with a solution to a problem, sometimes talking about it [even when you don't give advice] or just listening does help a lot.

Hang in there and see whats up with him. It could just be a temporary thing - the feeling of not wanting a relationship anymore. Is there stuff going on at school? home? between friends for him? Those are the things you should try to key in on to see if there is something or someone that is bothering him or making him feel not as great. Help with what you can. Again, talking it out is something I'd definately do. Hope that helped and good luck.

Q: is it true that when girls play hard to get that guys like that girl more ??

I'll have to say its not true, because if it was true, then it would have to be always. Like everyone said - it depends on the guy, but you might bring your chances down if you try to be something you're not. Most of my friends and I don't like that though. Hope that helped.

Q: To preface, I came across this site because I did a search for someone that has passed on and found out thatthey used used to have a column here.

From my prespective, she and I had a special time together almost ten years ago. She was two time zones away yet we would be in touch everyday for a few months. I realize this is only a short time, yet I had initially ended it.

In the shortime thereafter, she and I would keep in touch and then because I acted stupidly with words she and I would not converse less and less.

Four years later, I took a trip out to where she lived to visit other people and ended up one night at a bar where she was and we were able to spend some private moments there talking and playing games that were available to us at the establishment. I felt, at the time, a certin affection for her that was similar to when we would be in constant touch with each other.

From that time until a year and a half ago our interactions were minimal - but the special place she held in my heart was something that was still there. She had told me once that when you love someone you love them forever and she said she still loved me. I had been resigned to the fact that the love of which she spoke was more than likely less intense than when we had originally interacted.

In late 2004 I had made arrangements to stay at her place because work obiligations had put me in a position so that I would be located where she lived. I did that in part because I wanted to see her again, spend time with her, and even though I could have found a place to live close to where she lived, I wanted to be able to spend some time with her and since she agreed I thought it'd be best.

Unfortunately, plans changed due to circumstances and when given an offer to go back home (albeit for a short period of time) I chose that instead of going to her. I wish I had chosen differently.

I found out through a friend that she had passed on late last year and I felt obligated not only to myself but somehow to her that I should go to her memorial service. I went to her service and let no one that was there know who I was in relevence to her nor why I was there. I went because I wanted to say, "goodbye."

It has been almost six months since then and I find myself in a position in which I think about her still. I sometimes feel that if I had not gone home that perhaps things would be different and I know that it is not something to concentrate on but at times I do feel as though maybe had I chosen a different course of action that perhaps things would have ended differenty for her.

I know she is in a better place now but somehow, selfishly, I don't find peace. I love her, will always love her and maybe I'm confused about things but I even then I do hope over time to find peace.

So, I suppose my question should be - will a part of me always feel this way? Will I grow to understand this over time, on my own? Or is there something there that will always be, to put it as loose as possible, nagging me?

Tough one. Whether or not this something will be nagging you is something very personal, probably none we could answer for you. I think it depends on your views and what you think about the situation.

Don't take it the wrong way, but it seems that if you continue to feel that guilt or regret that you might be feeling, then yeah it will probably remain with you. I mean it would be a different story if this event changed your entire lifestyle and your daily habits, ya know? But because I am guessing [sorry if I'm wrong] that while you do think about it from time to time, that you do not dwell on it every moment, and I do mean every moment. Could there have been something or someone or moments since then that have brought you to feeling happy, joy, and just great about life?

I'm going to go with that your answer is yes. Since what happened probably didn't effect every single entire aspect of your life from the most simple of things to the way you think, I feel its safe to say that over time you will grow to understand. When will that time be is probably on your mind right now. That all depends, but it does not seem like it is something that would have you thinking about it the way you do now in 5 years. In other words: things will happen, things will change, and you will too - for the better.

I don't think you should feel guilty about taking the other job or have any regrets. Life happens. You seem to be a very strong person to begin with so I think you will pull through - even with this one. Hope you feel better and good luck.

Q: ok, im almost in love with this guy. not obsessed, but getting close.
he's gorgeous && incredibly sweet.
but there are problems;;
1)i cannot talk to him
2)he likes someone else
3)he's a druggie
now, i know what you're going to say about him doing drugs.. but hey! sometimes, a bad boy is good for a girl..you know??lmao
so what can i do??
should i just sit around && hope he gets over this other girl??
or should i talk to him??..conversation starters???

will rate high ;D
♥ thank yooou

Get to know him! How can you like or love the guy if you can't talk to him or know all about him. I'm not saying that you don't, but before even being boy/girlfriend, wouldn't it make sence that you would want to be friends first of all?

I mean if you really want to pursue this, then I would suggest to talk to him to get to know him, and until you know him enough to try to stay out of his way with this girl he might like.

Personally I think that with number 2 and 3 in place you should just move on. Rough? Yeah. Something you'll forget about later in life? Most definately. Hey I even gaurentee theres a guy out there who you can talk to comfortably, doesn't like somebody else, and isn't a druggie. So yes, if you want to pursue it - be his friend and get to know him first, then see what you can do and where you stand. Hope that helped and good luck.

Q: i have a really big great circle of friends, mostly girls but we hang out with a few guys too. So, i have a crush on one of my guy friends, and my friends brought up that we would make a good couple, after that i fessed up to acctually liking the guy. After that they told me that they thought that he was flirting with me that night (before the guys went home, and the girls slept over), i am not the best at judging this sort of thing, but he is just a nice guy, and there were mostly girls at the party so he had to sit next to one of us - so could this mean that he wasn't really flirting and just being himself? he is also very shy too, he doesn't really touch anyone, the most physical contact i have had with him is playing egyptian rat screw and slapping on the same card pile. I am also more experienced, so i wonder if he will ever get the guts to show me his real feelings. What should i do to let him know i like him without losing a friend?

15, female

Hmmm! I think that if he hears it from you, you will have less chances of losing him as a friend. Really think about it: if you involve someone else, then chances are translations will be lost between you, your friend, and the guy, and that will somehow create tension between you and the girl...not only that but two possible things [and this is what I've heard happens the most]:
1. Because the girl is now more involved with knowing about you and about the guy, she might feel like she's developing feelings for the guy or just feelings of jealousy.
2. The guy might think its all just a set up and get confuesed and not know what to do. Why? Well chances are if one of your friends told him that you like him, wouldn't that question his next move? He wouldnt be sure whether or not he should believe it, go after it, go after you, think it could be fake, etc.

So with that said, tell him yourself. Openly and clearly say: hey I wanted to tell you something but don't take it the wrong way...[tell him whatever it is you want]. If you have a crush on him let him know, but if at the same time you don't want to risk a relationship and don't really mind if he doesn't have a crush on you or something either - let him know that too.

So yeah tell him how you feel. Tell him about your thoughts. Remember, if he is as shy as you say he is, don't expect him to be too open, but don't put him down if hes too quiet either, ya know? If you want let him know that you're not even sure it could be something and don't really mind - its up to you. Hope that helped and good luck.

Q: Hey, ok so i recently just got a boyfriend and i love him! but i feel like he likes me more in a sexual way than he does emotionally. should i do something?

Yeah you should definately do something. Get to know him more as a person, for who he is, what he thinks and how he thinks. Hmm if you do see any kind of signs, like what he says or might do [too much touching maybe], then I would just confront him clearly and ask him if he thinks of you that way.

Personally, if that is the case, then I wouldn't keep things going like that. I mean I've heard too many guys think and say [no this does not include me] that 'the ultimate goal in any relationship is sex.' So I'm not sure, things might be around those lines for him, but if thats the case then I would suggest you get out of it. I mean unless that is what you are aiming for, then yes, do something about it. Hope that helped and good luck.

Q: A married man who I have known for a couple of years, and used to be friends with him and his wife phoned me up recently and asked me if I wanted to meet him in another city. He was getting his trailer hitched to his truck and said it was going to take a couple of hours. He said if I picked him up, while he was waiting for the trailer to be hitched that he would treat me to lunch and we could go shopping, and he'd pay for my gas. When I picked him up he said that he didnt want me to tell anyone we were doing this. First we went to the mall (remember this is in another city). He walked VERY close to me, we could have been joined at the hip. After when we went to a restaurant for lunch, he never mentioned his wife once, and instead was asking me personal questions about where I was going to meet Mr. Right. He was being very flirtatious, and I caught him staring at me romantically. When we got back into my car for the drive back to the trailer he watched me suck on a sucker from the restaurant and told me I had a "sucker fetish". I felt it was a very sexual thing to say. He was also staring at my lips when I applied lip gloss and looked like he was getting turned on.
So my question is, would this be considered cheating on his wife? Although we never had sex? I'm feeling really guilty.
signed, feeling guilty

Did you do anything wrong? Nope. Did you provoke anything or initiate anything? Not at all. Should you feel guilty? I don't see why you would. I mean it'd be a different story if after you noticed all of this you kept doing it, or that you tried to reel him in to begin with.

As for him, I'm not too sure. Did he have thouhgts about it? I mean I don't mean to sound offensive and don't take it the wrong way, but it could just be that you noticed those things in the wrong way at the wrong moment, you know? Or that since you thought it was suspicious to begin with you saw somethings stand out more than they would have if you thought nothing of it. As for the guy, I guess technically its not cheating, but ya know? Some say that having thoughts and images about 'cheating' would actually be considered cheating whether you do something or not. Others would say it's only cheating when something is either said or done.

As for me, I think that if he was consciously aware of what he was doing and knew that it was wrong and still did it anyway - continued to 'flirt' and have thoughts, then yeah. But then again, sometimes people just say and do things without being aware of what it is they are really doing.

So to answer your question, since there was no clear cut evidence of something said or done, then it would come down to whether or not he was aware of what he was doing and knew that it was wrong. If he didn't know then it's not cheating. Hope that helped.

Q: I have had a thing for this guy, Brad, for a couple weeks now which was when I first met him. We hang out almost every weekend now. Anyway, Yesterday we went bowling and I brought my friends Ria & Anne with me. We had a good time then after, Brad's friend who came with us said that they all thought Anne was hott. then Brad said he likes her & he wants to hang with her sometime. I really want him for myself & I can't diss Anne b/c we're still mending things we fought about fo the past couple months. (it was all over how she treated my best friend when they were dating). Anne doesn't want to go out with him since she barely knows him but i think she kind of likes him but just doesn't want to hurt me. what do I say to Brad when he won't stop asking me about her? Should I flat out tell him I like him? I used to be the person he wanted to hang out with as friends & now he likes my friend. What should I do without sounding like a bitch? thanks.

Thanks for dropping one in my inbox - feel free to do so again.

Ask the girl what she really thinks about the guy. Be like: hey Anne, I was wondering, and don't take this the wrong way, but what do you think of Brad? I mean there really is nothing wrong about asking her that, and thats not being a bitch. If she says she likes him or something like that, or you can tell shes hinting it off or trying to cover it up, then I wouldn't try to change that for her.

If thats the case, tell Brad to ask Anne and not you. When he asks you about Anne, just reply with: umm I'm not sure, just ask Anne herself. Really, whether you know or not, if its something other than basic general info, then do that.

Other than that, I mean I'm sure you probably didn't want to hear those answers, but think about it: if you stay completely out of it and something happens with them, when it falls apart nobody can blame you, you know? But I mean if it seems like Anne isn't interested, then sure there is nothing wrong with telling Brad that, so go for it. So if you see something is about to happen, try to stay out of it - if not, go for it.

Oh and next time either of them talks about doing something, mention to invite other people as well - the more the better. Hope that helped and good luck.

Q: I'M SORRY IT'S LONG BUT I'LL RATE AND COMMENT! ok...so i rele reeeeeeeele like this guy...his name is danny. I've liked him eversince he came over to my house cuz we live near eachother. thats when we first noticed eachother (we go to the same school) Ever since then i've had a huge crush on him, and he's only nice to me(so my friend says)girl wise in my class. Idk if thats a sign or not!!!!!!!! and every day i see him he looks at me...no smiling.....no talking....just looks at me....WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!!!!!!!!????????/ does that mean he likes me, or is just looking around alot( every day at my car and in the halls) He doesn't IM me on aim and doesnt tell me anything feeling wise. what does this mean!? he basicly hides behind people to not pass me in the halls or in class too. my friends say he's cocky and to forget him. buti cant!!! hes ALWAYS there....it makes me miserable :( so please please PLEASE tell me what i should do!! thanks~cab

Just ask him about it and tell him how you feel about the entire situation. Difficult? Yes. Really, and I don't mean to put you down, but what good will thinking about all of the possibilities do you? Probably none. So the best way to find out is not ask his friends what he thinks, but to directly ask him. Try to weave it into a conversation if you ever have one, or just simply confront and ask him - there is nothing wrong with that. Hope that helped and good luck.

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I really like giving advice, so thats why I have a column here. I've been inactive for a long time, but I'm back and will do my best to catch up. Advicenators is a great site and it is what we make it. Having my own advice column helped me learn a lot of new things, even about myself, while giving me the chance to help others along the way. Thanks.