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is this considered cheating?
A married man who I have known for a couple of years, and used to be friends with him and his wife phoned me up recently and asked me if I wanted to meet him in another city. He was getting his trailer hitched to his truck and said it was going to take a couple of hours. He said if I picked him up, while he was waiting for the trailer to be hitched that he would treat me to lunch and we could go shopping, and he'd pay for my gas. When I picked him up he said that he didnt want me to tell anyone we were doing this. First we went to the mall (remember this is in another city). He walked VERY close to me, we could have been joined at the hip. After when we went to a restaurant for lunch, he never mentioned his wife once, and instead was asking me personal questions about where I was going to meet Mr. Right. He was being very flirtatious, and I caught him staring at me romantically. When we got back into my car for the drive back to the trailer he watched me suck on a sucker from the restaurant and told me I had a "sucker fetish". I felt it was a very sexual thing to say. He was also staring at my lips when I applied lip gloss and looked like he was getting turned on.
So my question is, would this be considered cheating on his wife? Although we never had sex? I'm feeling really guilty.
signed, feeling guilty
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Is this considered cheating? Yup
Your fault? no. But it will be if you spend any time with him again.
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This isn't exactly cheating on his part, but from what you've said here, he is thinking of cheating on her. The fact that he wanted to meet up in another town sorta gives that away. I don't think you should be feeling as guilty as you are because you probably thought that you were just going for lunch with an old friend. If the guy asks you out again, tell him no. You did nothing wrong here... just let it go.
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It's extremely sketchy, but not quite cheating. Personally, I don't think that there has to be sex in order for it to be cheating, it just needs to be defined as a "romantic date". Also, you shouldn't feel guilty because it is in no way your fault. You didn't want him to say any of those things, and from the sound of it you didn't comfortably flirt back. Lay down the ground rules. I know it seems like a preschool thing to say, but remind him that you have personal boundaries that just cannot be crossed. If he continues to make you feel uncomfortable, you may need to end your friendship with him. I'm also pretty sure that this is sexual harassment, since it's caused you a lot of grief. So don't feel guilty about it because you it is in no way your fault.
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No..This isn`t cheating but i can understand how you felt uncomfortable..
I suggest not hooking up with him as friends anymore so you don`t feel that guilt or have to worry about him being flirting with you..
i don`t think you should have to mention this to his wife tho unless he like tried or trys something with you..
♥Dez
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Not at all. Neither of you can help if he likes you. That's just the way it is. He's still with his wife and nothing happened between you. It's only cheating if he actually does something. He probably would have tried if he was that type of guy, but he didn't. It's perfectly normal to feel guilty that he likes you, but not because you feel like he cheated. You'll feel better about it with a little time. I hope that I helped you and good luck.
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Did you do anything wrong? Nope. Did you provoke anything or initiate anything? Not at all. Should you feel guilty? I don't see why you would. I mean it'd be a different story if after you noticed all of this you kept doing it, or that you tried to reel him in to begin with.
As for him, I'm not too sure. Did he have thouhgts about it? I mean I don't mean to sound offensive and don't take it the wrong way, but it could just be that you noticed those things in the wrong way at the wrong moment, you know? Or that since you thought it was suspicious to begin with you saw somethings stand out more than they would have if you thought nothing of it. As for the guy, I guess technically its not cheating, but ya know? Some say that having thoughts and images about 'cheating' would actually be considered cheating whether you do something or not. Others would say it's only cheating when something is either said or done.
As for me, I think that if he was consciously aware of what he was doing and knew that it was wrong and still did it anyway - continued to 'flirt' and have thoughts, then yeah. But then again, sometimes people just say and do things without being aware of what it is they are really doing.
So to answer your question, since there was no clear cut evidence of something said or done, then it would come down to whether or not he was aware of what he was doing and knew that it was wrong. If he didn't know then it's not cheating. Hope that helped.
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Feeling Guilty,
Of course you may feel guilty, but like it's your fault! I wouldn't consider it "cheating", but it was the wrong thing of him to do. Anything else? Inbox is open.
♥
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