about




My name's Jennifer, but I'm more commonly known as Jen or Sporkster. I love lots of things/people including God; volleyball and soccer, my two favorite sports; and cheese. I also love Pi, but that's a story for another day.

I've been answering questions on Advicenators for over three years now, so I'm pretty experienced with it. I love answering questions and helping you out anyway I can, so if you've got a question, just ask me!

Ask me about: Christianity, athletics, physical fitness, love-life, relationships, friendships, HTML queries, book suggestions, music suggestions, musical theory, history, English (or Spanish) grammar, Paint Shop Pro 8, skin problems, sports injuries, "punk" fashion, nutrition, etc.

advice

Q: I love books! I love to read, I'm 15, so I need some more good book suggestions. I like to sci-fi and fantasy books, and I love Nicholas Sparks. So, anyone got any good suggestions? 5's for good suggestions.

A: Wow, you sound alot like someone I know. =D

Here's an excerpt of my reading list from the past few months:

The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne
Wuthering Heights, by Charlotte Bronte
Animal Farm, by George Orwell
Sherlock Holmes, by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde
Hard Times, by Charles Dickens
Oliver Twist, by Charles Dickens
Les Miserables, by Victor Hugo
The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexander Dumas
The Three Musketeers, by Alexander Dumas
The Phantom of the Opera, by Gaston Leroux
Selected Writings of Edgar Allen Poe, by Edgar A. Poe
The Will of the Empress, by Tamora Pierce
The Lost Years of Merlin, by T.A. Barron
King of the Middle March, by Kevin Crossley-Holland
Phantom, by Susan Kay
Wicked, by Gregory Maguire
The Giver, by Lois Lowry
The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkein
Eragon, by Christopher Paolini
The Mediator Series, by Meg Cabot (under her pseudonym, Jenny Carrol)

That should keep you occupied for awhile.

If you want more suggestions, feel free to ask!

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Q: I have this not-so-close friend who usually makes up lies to defend herself. She comes from a really protective family... So one example would be "No...I don't really wanna watch that movie" when it's obvious that she's not allowed. Anyway, one day she was talking about how she got her period when she was supposed to go swimming so everyone was like "tampon...duh" & she said it's some kind of "genetic" thing where she can't put one in. Her family is religious (strong catholics...so is everyone else that was sitting there) so I want to know if such a thing exists or if she's just covering up for her not being allowed to use them. thanks!

A: Yes, there is such a thing.

But, why does it matter?

Maybe your friend is embarrassed about her family's rules. Have you ever thought about that?

Don't be mean to the poor girl.

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Q: im taking a class called bioethics & we have to find a current event with an article but i can't find any good bioethic related articles. it has to be like abortion, stem cell research, etc. it can't be one sided, it has to be some kind've debate. i've tried using www.bioethics.net but everyone in my class basically took it. does anyone know any good websites??

thanks!!

A: Search for topics such as euthanasia, abortion, stem cell research, and other related bioethical topics on Google.

When you find an article you like, make sure it's from a credible source. Then you can start writing your essay or whatever--at least, that's what a current event is considered at my school.

If you don't, that's great! Just make sure you could discuss the issue debated in the article if called upon to do so by the teacher.

If you do have to write a paper, make sure you present your opinion of the issue. Also, present all the other major public opions on the topic. Then discuss WHY you think what you think, and why you believe the other party/parties are wrong in their opinion. Prove your point, in other words.

Have fun with your current event. I always enjoy things like that. =D

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Q: In your opinion (meaning that if you tell me what you think you'll get a 5), do you think that people should miss out on church in order to do yardwork, study for an exam, play in a soccer tournament, etc? I just want to know what qualifies as an acceptable excuse for not going to church. What other good reasons are there for missing church? -no I'm not trying to avoid going to church-

Thanks!

A: You could never go to church your whole entire life and still be a "good Christian."

Church really is only a place of fellowship and learning about the Bible collectively with fellow Christians.

You do not HAVE to go to church to get to heaven and what-not. God won't look at your church attendence record to see whether you're going to heaven or hell--he looks at whether you're a believer and follower of His son or not.

Buttt...

Like FunnyCide said, convincing your parents of this might be another story. I think the reasons she listed were great, though, so take heed to those.

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Q: you gave me really good advice on a last question so i am asking you another one!
ok, now the question.
i really like this boy who is in my grade (i am 14/f) he flirts with me a whole lot and i flirt back. we hang out a lot because we go to a really small school and the same church. our parents are close, too. he has been in a lot of long-term relationships and i am looking for one because i haven't dated in about a year. we liked eachother a while back but never got together. our parents have the same rule about not calling and going out and stuff like that. i really want him to make the first move, but i haven't had great luck with boys before. (only 1 boyfriend, a year ago exactly) this boy is really sweet and my friends say we would be the "cutest couple ever" but i doubt we would be. i mean, we would be cute together but not the cutest ever. should i take the initiative to ask him out or just flirt a whole lot and hope he makes the first move? and any advice to help me get his attention (but not the wrong kind of attention just for him to see me as girlfriend material) would be helpful too! i am a huge tom-boy if that helps any! thanks in advance! i'll rate a 5!

A: Well first off I'd like to say that it doesn't really matter whether people think you're a cute couple or not. Often times, "cute couples" are the ones that don't last very long. As long as you two share a few common interests and are interested in eachother's uncommon interests, then you're set.

Just be his friend, laugh with him, and don't be afraid to let him know you like having a good time. Don't try too hard, you don't want to come off as slutty. Also, most importantly: BE 100% YOURSELF!

If your parents share a mutual agreement on dating and the like, just wait until you're old enough to date. If he's worth the wait, he'll stick around.

If you've got any more questions, feel free to ask me specifically!

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Q: I'm 13 and I'm trying out for my school's volleyball team in 2 weeks. I've never played on a team before; but I've been to 6 camps, several private training classes with the coach, and practice with my dad alot [ he and the coach play on the same adult leauge team * they're best friends but she already told me I wasn't garenteed a spot on the team]

However I'm really nervous, I'm not that tall. And the Coach practicly immeaditley takes tall girls even if they have no idea what sport they're trying out for leaving only a few extra spots for girls who know what there doing. I'm a pretty good player; I've taken 1st 2nd and 3rd in my camps final tournements. But I'm really nervous; I'm so nervous I can't even serve anymore. My serves haven't made it over the net consistenly in 2 weeks. How can I calm down; and better prepare myself for try outs? Thanks guys =]

A: Focus on getting the right technique down for serving. Once you've got the right technique, just relax and serve!

Really, that's all there is to it.

Concentrate while you're serving, but not TOO much, else you'll probably be doing more harm than good. Just know what you're doing and do it.

Also, serving isn't everything. Teams also need consistent passers (back row players) and setters. Make sure you're well rounded in all areas to have the best chance of making the team.

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Q: does anyone know a quick product i could use to clean my face after gym, cause it feels so gross after gym! by the way, my face is reaaaaaaaly reeeaaaally prone to acne and i always have pimples so does anyone know of a really quick, oil free, non acne causing product? it needs to be quick cause i have to get out of the locker room pretty quickly

A: If you're looking for an easy to use acne face wash, I would suggest either Olay deep cleansing face wash with witch hazel, or Clearasil 3 in 1 acne defense cleanser. Both of these products are easy and quick to use--Just wet your face, lather, rinse, pat dry.

If you're looking for more of a cleansing pad type of thing, I'd go with Oxy or Stridex for sensitive skin.

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Q: I like your new layout

A: Thanks for the complement, but if you want to complement me again in the future do so via e-mail.

If you've read the previous site news, you'll understand why.

Basically, the inbox is not supposed to be used for private messaging. This can be done elsewhere, whether through AIM, MSN, e-mail, etc.

Hate to nag, but it's got to be done.

Thanks, though.

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Q: 13/m. I'm sorry if this is kind of long. you see, I have this sort-of friend: she's in all of my classes except for one, so we talk a lot. She makes fun of me sometimes, but I really don't think she means it, because things are regular again by next period. I kind of like her, but not really. And the acts as though she likes me sometimes. But, I really don't want anything to happen between us, since I've already made my New Year's resolution to get this one particular girl to like me.

So anyway, that girl, let's call her Jane, her mom died two weeks ago. I've never had to sit through a death before---I'm lucky enough that nobody in my family has ever died. And the only time anyone's parent has died other than Jane's is in 2nd grade, when I couldn't really grasp the meaning of death.

In all our classes two weeks ago, we were just talking about death and stuff. It was really depressing. In one class, things got so deep that half the class was crying. I myself was in tears, as I nearly am recalling this. But not because I knew and missed Jane's mother. Not because it reminded me of a dead relative that I had. Because I could finally grasp the meaning of death.

So, everyone's really depressed now, and she got to miss school two weeks ago the whole week---I would want to, if my parents had died. She's coming back on Tuesday, when vacation ends. One Thursday and Friday, all her teachers---which meant all my teachers except for one---received e-mails from her dad saying that we shouldn't talk about this "event" unless Jane brings it up first. But me, I'm a really shy person, and not having experience with anything like this, I'm probably gonna feel really awkward talking to her. I won't know what to say. I'm sure of it, it happens to me all the time. Whenever something goes wrong with anybody, I never know what to say. I don't really want to say anything like "we're right behind you" or "we got your back", because however true it may be, it may or may not give the impression that I like her.

So, I guess the whole point I'm trying to make here is that I'd feel awkward talking to her. I could've just said "i have a sort of frend whos mom died what to i do" but I feel that I can get a more personal answer if you have some background information. I will probably rate you. Smartasses get reported. Thank you, school starts again on Tuesday!!!

A: Everyone deals with death differently. Her dad probably knows her best, and his attempts to keep her shielded from confrontation about her mother's death probably hint towards extreme sensitivity about it at the present time. Can you blame her?

Just be extra careful of what you say. Don't bring up anything about mothers, parents, older women, whatever caused her mother to die, etc. Some things you can't help, like if you say something that reminds her of her mother--such as talking about perfumes or shampoos, that sort of thing. Just be careful about what you say.

Eventually, she'll come slowly back to normal. Make sure she knows you're there for her. If she needs comfort, comfort her. Be her friend, and a shoulder to cry on. She'll appreciate it probably more than words can say.

Don't be concerned about the whole letting-her-know-you-like-her thing right now, she needs some time to herself and her family.

Be a friend; she needs one right now.

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Q: Any idea how to get rid of a little unwanted body fat in the stomach? I've tried crunches and everything but no results. Anything would be helpful. NOT pills though.

A: Crunches and the like are GREAT for building and toning muscle, but they don't burn fat.

In order to burn fat, you have to get your body moving and your heart rate up. This can involve just plain running, playing soccer or basketball, swimming, jump-roping, etc.

If you start doing these activities for about thirty minutes a day for two or three weeks, you'll definitely see a difference in your body composition.

Drink lots of water, and watch what you eat! Instead of reaching for sugary snacks loaded with saturated fat, reach for an apple or some carrots.

Exercise, combined with a controlled, balanced diet, is the best way to go for weight loss.

Hope this helps!

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Q: I'm trying to eat healthy, and I wanted to know some foods you recommend for the following catagories that are healthy. Please be specific, I need all the guidelines I can get (and I am pairing it with exercise). Thank you!
Breakfast-
Lunch-
Snack-
Dinner-

A: For breakfast:

Whole-grain cereals.
Apple, orange, or pear slices.
Scrambled eggs.
Wheat toast.
A glass of orange juice or fat-free milk.

For lunch:

Peanut butter on wheat bread.
Carrots with fat-free ranch dressing.
Celery slices with peanut butter.
Turkey and swiss on wheat bread.
Salad with grilled chicken breast.
A glass of water or fruit juice.

For snack:

Wheat Thins
Grapes
Pretzels
Goldfish
Ritz crackers with cheese
Two scoops of light ice cream
Orange or apple slices
Low-fat yogurt

For dinner:

Grilled chicken breast
Steamed brocolli and other vegetables
Bread roll
Milk or water

__________

Chinese stirfry:

Grilled chicken or beef
Sliced carrots, celery, onions, cabbage
Water chestnuts
Brown rice
a little bit of soy sauce

__________

Grilled shrimp kabobs
Grilled vegetables
Brown rice
__________

Baked chicken breast
Zucchini caserole
Baked sweet potato

__________

Those few dinner ideas are particularly tasty. I hope you enjoy them!

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Q: me and my boyfriend have been goin out three months today we have been fightin alot in the past 2 weeks do u think thats bad?

A: Any fighting at all is bad. Discord doesn't really have a place in a successful relationship. There will be small disagreements, a few arguments along the way, but nothing should endure as long as two weeks.

What exactly have you been fighting about? Try not to fight, but rather sit down with him and talk things out. Explain your problems with whatever you've been fighting about, then let him have a turn. Discuss how you two could resolve the issues, and then resolve them. It's as simple as that.

However, if you two can't come to resolve the issue at hand, perhaps you shouldn't be dating. Consider that.

If you'd like any more help, feel free to ask me. I'm all ears.

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Q: I need community service hours but its hard to find places where I can get them. If there are any ideas... please list, it would make this a lot easier. Thanks

A: If there's a hospital nearby, you could try candy-striping.

Basically, you deliver flowers and cards to rooms, visit, take patients their food, etc. I'm going to be starting that this sumer, actually.

But yeah, that's always a great idea.

(That's candy STRIPE-ing, not STRIPPING, by the way. =D)

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Q: I have been dating a girl for almost a year now. I am 29, she is 27. I recently found out that she cheated on her previous boyfriends. Do you think there is a better chance that I'll be cheated on than if I was dating a girl who had never cheated?

A: You've probably heard the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater," but that's not always entirely so.

While statistically she would be more likely to cheat on you than a girl who never cheated, she can just as easily change her ways and decide she doesn't want to cheat anymore.

Did you hear this from a reliable, un-biased source? Consider the source as well.

If you're having trust issues or worries now after a year, I think it would be best to sit down and talk with her about it--ONLY if you have reason to.

You'd be amazed how much good just sitting down and talking things out can do.

I hope all goes well, and that you can resolve your issues.

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Q: I'm getting all these popups!! What kind of thing should I download to stop them?? Thanks.

A: Download Mozilla Firefox.

It's a relatively new browser, sort of like Netscape but much better. The pop-up blocker that comes with it is great. I have no pop-ups now.

http://www.mozilla.com/

Or, you know, check a few of the highest rated pop-up blockers on download.com.

http://www.download.com/Pop-Up-Blockers/3150-7786_4-0.html?tag=dir

Hope these helped!

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Q: alright well im 13/f and still prude.. and there's this guy i like and thinks im not purde and wants to hookup with me.. but im kinda nervous and idk what about..how can i not be nervous and just do it?? i appreciate any help and i will rate fives

A: Look, there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with being "prude" at age thirteen. Nothing at all. I know it's hard to believe that with all the encouragement from stupid shows on television and movies at the theatre, but really, don't worry about it. Today's prude is... Eh, nevermind. Enough ranting on my part.

Anyway, you stated you're nervous. This would be warning sign number one. What do you mean by hooking up, anyway? If you're nervous, I'd definitely just back off.

Is this guy pressuring you into hooking up with you? This is warning sign number two. Guys that presure you into doing things you don't want to do aren't there to be your boyfriend. They only want to play around with you like some toy. When they get bored with you, they'll move on to someone else. Would you honestly want to date/go out with a guy like that? I know I wouldn't, be that's just me.

Just don't do this until you're not nervous, and not until you're not being pressured into it by some guy. When YOU are absolutely sure you're ready, then it's the time to do it.

I hope I helped out a little.

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Q: 17/f

For my boyfriend's birthday, I got him a gag gift.. and then i got him a polo from American Eagle. But I'm having second thoughts as to whether or not he will like it.. do guys like getting clothes as a gift?

A: It honestly depends on your boyfriend's personality.

Is he more into a metropolitan-type of lifestyle? Does he enjoy shopping for clothes, buying clothes, being well-groomed, etc? Then he'll probably like clothes as a gift. Especially a polo from AE.

If he were a sports fan, he'd probably appreciate something like a jersey or sweatshirt.

If he was more of an all-out boy, he probably would just abhore clothing as a gift.

It all depends, really.

But let me tell you the truth, guys love getting anything no matter if they're going to use it or not. Guys like to know they're appreciated and loved, and nothing shows love more than the thought behind a gift. So whatever you got him, he'll appreciate it.

Make sure you give him loads of hugs, too. I'm sure he'd appreciate that the most. =D

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Q: Ok. I recently bought my first pair of Converse. They are Chuck Taylor Premiere All Star, Low, and I was wondering if I am supposed to wear socks with them. If it helps, I'm a girl.

A: Yep, you'd wear socks with them.

And personally, I think they would go great with some knee-highs/stockings and an above-knee pleated skirt. I know that probably sounds weird to you, but hey, just a suggestion. =D

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Q: For Christmas I got a free card that allows me to download 60 free songs. I'm on a downloading spree right now, but I can't seem to remember lots of the songs I want to download.

If anyone could reccomend any type of songs, besides country, that'd be great. I'm feeling like listening to music tonight, so if you could help me out it'd be great. Thank yaaa.

A: How about some emo/screamo/depressing/sad stuff?

Panic! at the Disco - "It's Time to Dance"
Panic! at the Disco - "Lying is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off"
Panic! at the Disco - "There's a Good Reason These Tables are Numbered, Honey, You Just Haven't Figured it Out Yet"
Straylight Run - "Existentialism on Prom Night"
From Autumn to Ashes - "Chloroform Perfume"
From Autumn to Ashes - "Autumn's Monologue"
Seether feat. Amy Lee - "Broken"
Vanessa Carlton - "Paradise"

Some random punk/indie/whatnot?

Franz Ferdinand - "Take Me Out"
Coheed and Cambria - "Blood Red Summer"
Coheed and Cambria - "A Favor House Atlantic"
the Descendents - "'Merican"
Weezer - "Only in Dreams"
Weezer - "Lover in the Snow"
Weezer - "Across the Sea"
Weezer - "Island in the Sun"
the Postal Service - "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight"
the Postal Service - "Such Great Heights"
the Killers - "All These Things That I've Done"
the Killers - "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine"
the Killers - "Under the Gun"
Smash Mouth - "Walkin' on the Sun"

Maybe some classic rock?

Kansas - "Dust in the Wind"
Led Zeppelin - "Going to California"
Led Zeppelin - "When the Levee Breaks"
The Who - "Pinball Wizard"
The Who - "Behind Blue Eyes"

Hip-hop/rap/R&B

Usher - "U Remind Me"
Natalie - "Goin' Crazy"
Outkast - "Hey Ya!"
Outkast - "Roses"
Outkast - "Bombs Over Baghdad"
Outkast - "Mrs. Jackson"
Outkast - "The Way You Move"
Black-Eyed Peas - "Don't Phunk With My Heart"
Black-Eyed Peas - "Don't Lie"
Black-Eyed Peas - "Shut-Up"

ANY song by Aretha Franklin.

Technoish?

Andain - "Beautiful Things"
DHT - "Listen to Your Heart"
DJ Sammy - "Heaven"

JAMES TAYLOR SONGS!

"Carolina in My Mind"
"Copperline"
"Something in the Way She Moves"
"Fire and Rain"
"Mexico"
"Country Road"
"Millworker"
"Sweet Baby James"

Those should keep you busy for awhile.

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Q: hey ok well here's the deal...my mom will let me go out with friends no problem. but whenever i m going w/ just a guy FRIEND she like makes sure a million times we are JUST FRIENDS. and we are. so no problem right?? but heres the Problem; she'll let me have boyfriends but she won't let me go out anywhere with them! whats the point of having a b/f if i can't go anywhere with them? how can i get her to lighten up and let me go out with a guy who is a little more than a friend????????? HELP!!! -and please dont say sneak around her i'd feel really guilty!-

A: A good way to ease your parents into the allowing-to-date mode is to invite your boyfriend over for dinner. This allows your parents to meet them, understand their character, and hopefully, start building some trust in him. Make sure you introduce him to both of your parents, and try to start some enriching conversations. This way your parents will get to know him and won't be so uptight about letting you go places with him.

Once you DO get to go somewhere, be trustworthy. If your parents tell you to be home a certain time, try to be home five minutes or so early. Always call them if they tell you to, and always abide by their set rules of dating. This way your parents will TRUST you.

I hope these couple of tips help you. Ask me if you want any more advice on this topic.

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