about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

My husband spends money almost non-stop, and we're going broke. I've tried several ways to stop him from spending like he does, but it's almost like it's an addiction for him. How can I get him to spend less money? I've shown him our budget and explain many times how important it is that we stick with it. Still, he's run our bank account into the negative twice in just a few months.

The best idea I've had is something like a pre-paid credit card. I'm not sure what I mean. For example, I put $100 on it, and he can spend and spend, but never go over his limit. Is there something like that? I'm open to any other ideas as well. Thanks!

You can get a prepaid credit card. You can find some to compare at the link below. Just be aware that some charge fees so it may cost more than you originally expected.
http://www.creditcards.com/prepaid.php?a_aid=1017&a_cid=1040


Like younggrandma said, if you have any regular credit cards, I'd take them. You may need to get the bank card and checking book as well if he has access to them.


I myself ran into something similar to this with my husband. Before we married, he was great with saving, but once we got married, he went a little crazy. I finally put him on a budget. I keep the checkbook and the bankcard. He gets $100 cash a week for gas, eats, and things he needs to buy for work. He brings me receipts for everything. Any money left over at the end of the week he gets to keep. The rest of the money goes into the bank for bills and savings.


You may also want to talk to him about getting help for his spending habits. Sometimes people get in over their head and don't realize the effect their spending is having. I'm including a link to Debtors Anonymous. There's information on overspending and how to get help on the website.
http://www.debtorsanonymous.org/

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i was on birth control for about a year and i just recently stopped because me and my boyfriend broke up. i figured i didn't need to be on it if i wasn't going to be sexually active. so now that i'm not on it is my period going to be really messed up? i'm just wondering so i'll be aware of this..

It depends if your period was regular to begin with. If it was irregular when you went on the pill, it will probably go back to doing the same. If it was regular to start with, it may take a month or two after going off the pill before it gets back on schedule.

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I would just like to find out how my daughter and boyfriend can get help regarding there son (10months) getting injured at Nursery, burnt by boiling water on his hand and top part on arm(wrist).

This has caused a great deal of inconvienience to them taking time of work and travelling to the hospital to change dressing every 2nd day. This has also caused stress on my grandson and my daughter?

First, I would report the daycare center to the licensing board. The child shouldn't have been allowed to be anywhere near the boiling water. the licensing board will review your complaint and may even pull the daycare's license. You can go to the site below to find licensing information as well as contact information for the licensing board in your state. Also, when you report them, ask if there have been any other complaints lodged against the daycare center.
http://www.daycare.com/states.html

Then, like younggrandma said, I would consult a lawyer about filing a lawsuit against the daycare center. Make sure to keep all the records relating to the child's injury.

Good luck. I hope your grandson gets better soon.

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I have had my car stored in my back yard for two years just got is all up and running but there seems to be water in the trunk and floor boards, I have wet vac'ed the water out but the other day there was water on the floor again? any idea were or what to do?

Check the rubber seals around your trunk and doors. Sometimes when cars sit for a while, the seals can break down, which allows water in. If it is the seals, check with your local part store. They can tell you how to fix it and how much the stuff will cost.

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ok when my mom was my age she had epelepsy.she said it started where she would black out for a miliseconnd and drop sompthing and not no how. the other day i dropped a bowl, but i dont remember it slipping out of my hands, i never let go! also i was holding a "shampame glass" by the stem thingy and i judt totally did the same thing. also a lot i get these bad heaedaches and i get dixzzy when i move my head. does anyonge no if i might have it? what shuld i do? please help!

I would talk to your mom about it. Since she's went through it herself, she'll be more familiar with the symptoms. I would also sugest a trip to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor can do tests to determine exactly what's going on and prescribe medication or other treatments if necessary.

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I've got patches of itchy skin on various parts of my body. On my legs I can see largish insect bites but on my wrists/arms and my breasts the bites are less visible. It's itchy really badly and I'm starting to cause red marks and little blodd blisters.

I thought it was the work of some biting insects I've seen flying around my room. However, as the weather gets colder then I'd expect them to die out for winter but this has lasted for a week or two now.

I live in Halls so it is quite possible for me to catch something contagious.

How do I treat whatever-it-is? Should I go and see a nurse/doctor?

You should probably go to the doctor. They can determine what exactly it is and recommend or prescribe something to treat it. Until you can get to the doctor, try some calamine lotion or benadryl cream to help deal with the itch. Sometimes washing with oatmeal soap will also help.

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ok so I have this back problem.. my muscles are waaaay too tight for my age (15/f..they are like rocks and suppose to be like silly putty), my bones at the base of my skull are too small and the hole that connects my spine to my skull is too small, and I have pinched nerves.. so my doctor perscribed me hydrocodone for the pain but the problem is it's not working.. at all.. so does anyone know any stronger medicine that I could ask my doctor about that might actually help my back? The pain keeps me awake at night so I need something strong. Sometimes it makes me cry because the pain is so overwhelming even after I've taken the hydrocodone... and I don't ever cry because I have extremely high pain tolerance.. so I need something really strong

Thanks in advance! (sorry so long!)

Some pain pills just don't work on certain people. Sometimes the doctor has to try a few different ones before they find one that works for you. I'm not sure how long you've been taking the medicine, but if it's been a while and it's still not working, you need to tell your doctor. They generally start you on a lower dose medicine and work their way up.

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I just started a job two weeks ago in a large store where I am on the floor as a sales rep in the clothing department.
Before I was working at the store I had a lot of spare time and would work out every day at the gym for a half hour or more. Since I started working I havent had the time or energy to work out anymore, but suprisingly I've lost more weight at my job than at the gym!! My jeans are hanging off of me and a month ago they were tight. My job consists of a lot of walking and cleaning up. I have to walk around quickly to assist customers and put away all the clothes. Do you think this is the cause of my weight loss?

It's probably your job causing the weight loss. I've always found that when I start a new job that involves a lot of moving, I lose weight.

Like younggrandma said, it may level off once your body gets used to the level of activity. I would try throwing in a couple workouts a week if you can.

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So. I know gross but i think it is safe to say this is mostly populated with girls so you all in some way sometime in your life come into a problem simular to this.
So my boyfriend and I have been sexual active for 6 months and a month ago we stopped using condoms because it was comfortable for either him and or i. Sex without a condom was much more comfortable for both him and i. But I do not recomend it to anyone, use protection...Anyways after the first time we did that I got a urinary track infection, which i didnt go to the doctors for because it wasnt life threatning or anything. Anyways after a couple days it got worse, i was getting white discharge all the time when i used the rest room or when i was just walking around i felt leaking...about two weeks later it got worse, i was ichty down there every once and awhile and the white discharge increased and it started to get an oder. Well I douched and started taking care of myself as much as I could and it went away. While having the UTI i was still having sex but it didnt seem to bother it. Well today after intercourse he noticed thick white discharge on him and I on me. I smelled it but it didnt really have an oder at all and I was very confused, so i went to the restroom and whipped and noticed spotting of blood im suppose to start my period tomorrow so i just wrote it off to that and put a tampon in but when i took it out, it was completly dry not one thing on it. Well later last night we had sex again, but the thing is I orgasmed more than the first but I didnt have the thick white discharge this time...I thought that was kind of weird.
See I was thinking could it be, because we are having sex without a comdom and my body is just getting use to it. Or is it what my boyfriend said...that we dont have lube so he was rubbing me too much and maybe tearing me a little and that could be the reason but I dont know how it could be...
Im very confused. Please dont tell me to go see a doctor i cant afford to no health insurance and Im just wondering if it should be something to be totally freaked out on?

if you have any advice let me know. i will rate you very high...thank you for your time have a great day...and sorry if this grossed you out.

I've had a UTI before and it didn't involve itching. Itching and discharge can be a sign of a vaginal or yeast infection. I would suggest you both see a doctor. It's best to get checked out just to rule out something more serious. Left untreated, there's a possibility that you could get worse or infection can spread.

If you can't afford a doctor, try your local health department or check your phone book for a low-income clinic. They generally go by your income on the fees they charge so it should cost much, if anything. Our local low-income clinic only charges $10 a visit.

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hi my name is justin and i want to paint to my room, but where i live at has a rule that only latex based paint can be used.(im not sure if its latex of water based..) and i want to paint my room black. is there any nice latex or water based black paint that looks good?

I would check out the paint supply stores in your area. Many of them offer cards with various colors so you can browse and pick your color. If you're in the US, try Walmart, Lowe's or Home Depot.

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Okay i asked your guy's help once before about my girlfriend. But I have a serious situation, one of my ex-boyfriends called and asked me out. I haven't came out with this yet so nobody knows except my best friend and my gurlfriend and her aunt. I couldn't turn him down cause he's driving three hours just to see me. I wanna go but I don't think he would like the fact that i'm a 15 year old Bisexual and I have a girlfriend. And I don't think me girlfriend would like me going out with some guy!!!!!!!! Should I tell them????????

If you go out with someone else while you're dating another, it's cheating. Is your relationship with your girlfriend worth a fling? Is this guy worth jeapardizing your relationship with your girlfriend? She's there, he's three hours away. Who do you think is going to be worth it in the long run?

think if you do decide to go out with this guy, you should set your girlfriend free. Bisexual or straight, cheating isn't fair to the party being cheated on.

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Does water temperature affect how fast a nail rusts? I'm doing a science project and I can't find any pages on the subject. I would appriciate any help!

According to the link below it does. The direct quote from the page is "Every 20 degree rise in water temperature doubles the chemical action that causes rust and corrosion."
http://www.accessenergycoop.com/cont/savenrgy_0202a.htm

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Usually around 6 a.m. I have a big glass of 2% milk along with a tablespoon each of sugar and instant coffee. My lunch is a full meal around 12.15 p.m.

Does the glass of milk constitute breakfast or is it recommended to eat something else between the milk and lunch to kickstart my metabolism?

You really need food to kickstart your metabolism. If you eat something with protein, it will also give you energy. Something as simple as an egg will work.

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if you dont need contacts/glasses can you still get color contacts?! if so where and how much are they?! thanks!

You can get color contacts. However, there is a chance of infection. I would suggest calling an eye doctor for a consultation. Contacts fit best when they're specifically sized to fit your eyes. Also, if you buy through the eye doctor, you get a better quality contact.

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Is it possible to fall in love with someone if you're not attracted to them pysically?
I have feelings for an older man (he's 45 and I'm 26). He isn't very good looking, he is overweight and has grey hair.
He is really nice to me though and we get along and have a lot in common.
Most younger guys that are cute don't make me feel the way he does.
Should I go for him or just stay with guys that are closer to my age?

I think it is possible to fall in love with someone because of something other than physical attraction. However, like younggrandma said, for the physical aspect of a relationship, there does have to be some sort of physical attraction.

Is there nothing that you find attractive in him? Sometimes we overlook the little attractive things in favor of a cute face or a nice body. Eyes, smile, these are all things that can make someone attractive. Also, like someone said earlier, looks tend to fade, but personality is great.

While the age difference is something you may want to consider, I wouldn't make it the only determining factor of your relationship. My husband is 19 years older than me and we have a perfect (at least to us) relationship. I won't lie to you and say it's easy, but if you love each other, it works out. You just get immune to the looks and remarks.

If he makes you happy, I would stay with him to see if it goes somewhere. Nowhere is it written that our Mr. Right is drop-dead gorgeous and the same age as us.

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i just turned 21. i would like to get pregnant with my bf of 2 years but b4 i do so i need some advice into easier ways to get pregnant faster. is there a time in which we could try wich would make it easier? is there any hints into what we should do for example i heard if you both have an orgasm at the same time would that make it easier to concieve? Well please help i rate 5s for people with lots of advice!

First off, if you're planning on getting pregnant, you need to start taking prenatal vitamins and eating healthy. If you smoke or drink, it's time to quit. It's essential for your body and the health of the baby to be as healthy as you can before and after you conceive.

You should also see your ob/gyn for a complete physical checkup to make sure there is nothing that would make it difficult for you to become pregnant. They will also be able to give you more specialized advice on conceiving.

The best way to get pregnant is to figure out when you ovulate. It's generally about halfway through your cycle or about 14 days after the first day of your period. For more accuracy, there are ovulation predictor kits on the market that test your hormone levels. They can be a little pricy so that may be something you need to consider. You can buy them at Walmart and most pharmacies.

As far as I know. having an orgasm at the same time will not increase your chances. Some things I have heard of working are having sex every other day and having sex in the mornings to maximize sperm count. Positions that give deep penetration have also been known to work since the sperm have less distance to travel.

Just a thought, but have you spoken to your boyfriend about your want for a child and does he agree? Pregnancy is a very emotional time (I'm currently 3 months myself so I know.) and you need every bit of emotional support you can get.

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I met this guy, and I had a one night stand with him. I am 19 and he is 23. The problem is, I did not want to have sex at all. I just wanted to kiss, but he kept pressuring me to go further and further, and I eventually gave in to everything.

While we were having sex, it hurt so much. I was crying and telling him to stop but he kept going. I tried shoving him away but he didn't stop. I could have probably easily punched him in the face and made him stop, but for some reason, I didn't. I lied and told him it was hurting because I had been raped as a last attempt to get him to stop. He still didn't, and I eventually just sucked it up and let him finish.

Throughout the whole ordeal, he said some pretty mean things to me, the worse being that he had to pretend like the sex we just had was the best he'd ever experienced, just so he'd be able to finish himself off. And you know what I said? NOTHING. After I laid on the bathroom floor crying for awhile, I laid in bed with him, staring at the ceiling for 3 hours while he slept.

I do not have the slightest idea why I let him use me. I usually am smarter than this, love myself more than this, have more integrity than this. I am numb all over and wonder what the heck happened, how did I let it happen. Please, any insight would be appreciated.

Getting raped is not letting someone use you. What you're feeling is completely common of someone who has been raped. Just remember that it wasn't your fault. If you told him no and he didn't stop, then what he did is rape.

You need to report him to the police. You should also see your doctor of ob/gyn and let them know what happened so they can do a rape kit and also check for STDs and pregnancy if a condom wasn't used.

I would also consider talking to a counselor about this. Speaking from experience, you've gone through an awful experience. If you bottle it up inside and don't let it out, it will drive you crazy. You can talk to a counselor toll-free 24/7 by calling 1-800-656-HOPE.

My thoughts are with you.

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Hey! Me and my ex boyfriend of 2 years broke up about 1 month ago. And since then I have moved on to sometime else that is wayy better for me. But I feel like something is holding me back from loving him. Could this be because I sill am not over my ex boyfriend? What should I do?? Thanks for the advice

It takes time to get over someone, especially if you've been together for as long as you were with him. I would just take things slow and give your heart time to heal. If the new guy is worth it, he'll wait until you're completely ready to be in another relationship.

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Two questions. My mother has offered to put my girlfriend on the pill. (aka birth control) And i believe they are starting the process some time next week. Two questions i have about it.

1) Is it true that the ultraviolet radiation from a tanning bed deactivates the pill and doesnt allow it to serve the purpose its made for?

2) What are the chances of a girl whos on the pill getting pregnant? I mean of course if were going till we both finish, i'd use a condom but what about pulling out and all that?

Any girls that are pretty sure about this please lemme know. I DONT WANT A KID!!! lol

The first question isn't true as far as I know. I've been on the pill for a long time and I've never had a doctor tell me that.

The second question is very slim. If she's on the pill and you use a condom, the chances are next to none. The pill alone, if used correctly, is 99.7% effective. Condoms, when used correctly, are 98% effective. Together, you should have nearly 100% effectiveness.

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ok, well every now and then i get these really really bad headaches, my eyes get very sensitive to light and even the slightest noise makes my head pound. Now iknow the cause of these headaches isnt from my vision, because ive had my eyes checked many times and i do wear glasses. What can be causing them? thanks 4 ur answers

It sounds like you're having migraines. For immediate relief try one of the migraine headache medicines such as Excedrin Migraine. It should help with the pain. It's best to take it as soon as you feel one coming on.

If you can, take the medicine and lay down in a dark, quiet room when you feel the headache coming on.

Also, talk to your doctor. There are prescription medicines that will help prevent and treat migraines.

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