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Why did I let him use me?
I met this guy, and I had a one night stand with him. I am 19 and he is 23. The problem is, I did not want to have sex at all. I just wanted to kiss, but he kept pressuring me to go further and further, and I eventually gave in to everything.
While we were having sex, it hurt so much. I was crying and telling him to stop but he kept going. I tried shoving him away but he didn't stop. I could have probably easily punched him in the face and made him stop, but for some reason, I didn't. I lied and told him it was hurting because I had been raped as a last attempt to get him to stop. He still didn't, and I eventually just sucked it up and let him finish.
Throughout the whole ordeal, he said some pretty mean things to me, the worse being that he had to pretend like the sex we just had was the best he'd ever experienced, just so he'd be able to finish himself off. And you know what I said? NOTHING. After I laid on the bathroom floor crying for awhile, I laid in bed with him, staring at the ceiling for 3 hours while he slept.
I do not have the slightest idea why I let him use me. I usually am smarter than this, love myself more than this, have more integrity than this. I am numb all over and wonder what the heck happened, how did I let it happen. Please, any insight would be appreciated.
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he raped you.
and you're in an abusive relationship.
he's pressuring you to do things you don't want, refusing to stop something that's hurting you, and he's verbally abusive. get out of it now.
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Getting raped is not letting someone use you. What you're feeling is completely common of someone who has been raped. Just remember that it wasn't your fault. If you told him no and he didn't stop, then what he did is rape.
You need to report him to the police. You should also see your doctor of ob/gyn and let them know what happened so they can do a rape kit and also check for STDs and pregnancy if a condom wasn't used.
I would also consider talking to a counselor about this. Speaking from experience, you've gone through an awful experience. If you bottle it up inside and don't let it out, it will drive you crazy. You can talk to a counselor toll-free 24/7 by calling 1-800-656-HOPE.
My thoughts are with you.
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you didnt let it happen and its not your fault. all you wanted to do was kiss, not to go that far. you told him to stop, he didnt. its rape. go to the hospital or the poliece. im not poliece or anythig but if they cant get a rape kit done then to prove it maybe you can (talk to the poliece about it first) take a tape recorder and put it in a pocket and go to him and say like " you know how we...blablabla" and if he says yah then he has admited it and you have him....but thats just my thoughs...if you have any mor Q. let me know and let me know how it works out!
ANK
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You didn't let it happen. He forced you into doing something you did not want to do. You were raped and you need to go to a hospital as soon as possible to get a rape kit done. He needs to be arrested. Rape is a very serious crime. There was nothing you could have done about it and it's not your fault in the slightest way. I hope that everything is okay and that you feel better soon. Good luck! <3
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hey girl,
if advice you to stop seeing this guy because he apperently is using u not as a girl but as a sex machine.althought you told him to stop but he didnt.
i am sorry if i hurt u but it,s the truth.
anyway.keep away from him and be smarter and more careful next time, and have sex with the one who appreciated and respect you, and we learn by doing mistakes,so dont be sad
moe or, ...
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I'm not going to sit here and tell you what you SHOULD have done, because what is done is done. Nothing can change.
In the situation you were you in, you did as much as you could possibly do to stop him, correct? Well, since at first you did finally tell him you'd have sex with him, so filing 'rape' might not work on the account that he might bring up the fact that you did say yes.
On the other hand, when it started to hurt you, you asked him to stop and he didn't. This guy was a selfish jerk who just wanted to pleasure himself even if it hurt you. Which in the end you found out that he had to pretend it was good. Which goes back to my first opinion about him- he's a selfish jerk. No one in their right mind would finish KNOWING it's hurting a woman. That's horrible.
There's nothing more you can do about this guy. Plain and simple, but you can prevent yourself from ever being used like that again. You might have already gone through this in your mind, but I'm here to stay it out loud- If you meet a 'nice guy' try to not let him take you to his, or your house/apartment right away. I mean, a nice quiet coffee shop is okay for getting to know people. If this guy gets all mad that you're not going to go to his house, now you know he just wanted to get some.
In conclusion:
Meet the guy, know the guy, love the guy.
Then you know that you're ready for sex with him and he's ready for it with you.
-tekcoreht
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Maybe you were scared.
Maybe you just didnt know what was going on.
If you need to talk to anyone. you should go to a therapist. im sure they can proffesionaly help you. but the best advice i can give you right now is to just calm down and think it all through. i would say talk to him, but that would NOT be a good idea.
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