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My best friend and her boyfriend have been going out for 11 months. I know he means everything to her and she genuinely loves him.
Well, I heard today from a friend that he has cheated on her twice, once relatively soon after they'd been going out and once about a month ago. The thing is, this friend heard it from another friend, who in turn heard it from a friend of the boyfriend. I don't know what the likeliness of it being true is, to be honest - although I've never really liked him and it does seem to fit his character.
This would ruin my friend if it was true. I was wondering whether I should tell her or not - if I told her and it wasn't true, she'd probably hate me forever as it would mess up her relationship and really upset her in the mean time. But if I don't tell her, and it is true - isn't that worse?! I really have no idea what to do, I don't want to lose my friend but I don't want her to get hurt either.
xxxx
Well, I'm sitting here thinking, if my boyfriend was cheating on me, I'd want someone to tell me! So it's gonna sound kinda wimpy when I tell you... even if you find out for certain that it's true, I don't think you should tell her. And here's why:
If you tell her, she's going to confront her boyfriend about it. And what if he denies it? Which he very well might. If she's that in love with him, she's gonna want to believe him. She's gonna really, REALLY want to believe him... which can only mean NOT believing you. And even if deep down she knows it's true, on some level she's going to resent you for telling her. She might even come up with some crazy ideas about why you'd tell her that... maybe that you're just jealous, or trying to break them up? People in these situations can come up with all kinds of nutty ideas to avoid being hurt by the truth. So even though you're trying to be a true friend, your friendship could suffer.
I think you should let her find out on her own, or from another source. And if this guy is really a cheater, she's going to find out eventually. And when she does, she's going to need you... and then you can be there for her and be the true friend that you are.
13/F
So, I'm emo, well I also have a perverted mind. i posted a question about being emo, but this is different. I like perverted things like, someone says go do that. i'll start laughing. I jus tliek that stuff it's funny! I mean I'm immature. That's me. Don't tell me to grow up. It's me and I want peopel to except me for it. I mean, my friends are like that too. My problem? People keep sayign I've had sex, I cut myself, I'm a pervert literally.
I really don't like that. I mean, I like to laugh at that. Can someone help meh?!?!?! THANK YOU!!!!
--Izzy Uchiha! ^/-\^
Well, it's good that you want people to accept you for who you are. But I'm sure you know that everyone is different... what's hilarious to one person might seem rude or offensive to someone else. It's okay to have a perverted sense of humor, but the fact is, some people just aren't gonna get it. They just don't have the mindset for it.
My advice? Save the perverted jokes for your friends who appreciate them. That's what I do. I have certain friends that I can act stupid and immature with, and other friends that I wouldn't dare act that way around, or they'd think I was a freak! It's not that I'm not being "true" to myself... I'm just adapting to the situation.
But don't think you have to "grow up." My dad once told me that the true meaning of growing up is learning how to ACT like a grownup when it's in your best interest... but the rest of the time you don't have to! Haha! I liked his advice. =]
15/f
ok so im a fresham, and like i went to a private school before, now i go to a public one. and i talk to like everyone at this big table in one of my classes, and this one girl will be like you never repeat your clothes. and they call me spoiled and everything, and say i have everything. which i mean, im not used to talking to people who dont have as much as me. because at my old school, id be like oh i have 15 pairs of jeans. and another girl would be like oh i have 20. you know what i mean? how can i stop myself from saying about things i have? they always talk to me about it. so its not like im bragging.
I've been in the same sitation. The fact is, when you have more than the people around you, some people are gonna be jealous. And even if you never brag or act conceited, those jealous people are going to look for any opportunity to say, "Oh, she thinks she's so great!"
So, if you don't want people to think you're spoiled or stuck up, you have to be really careful not to give them ANY reason to be able to say that.
When people ask you how many pairs of jeans you have, or whatever, just say, "oh, I don't know"... and then change the subject. And of course, never bring it up yourself! If you're talking to people who you think don't have something that you have, try not to mention it unless it absolutely has to come up as part of the conversation. Just always be thinking, "Is this person gonna think I'm bragging if I say this?"
That doesn't mean you have to lie or be secretive about what you have... just always be careful about how you talk about it.
ok you gave me advice earlier, i think like last week, and i need more. see, tim (the guy i like) i found out he likes me. i really like him and i think hes what i want in a boyfriend. BUT i still love my boyfriend very much and i love that hes ok with all my flaws and hes sexi, and can be so sweet. but tim never stops making me smile and i cant get him out of my head. but i have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and he makes me happy but i cant stand that fact that he hates my attitude and that hes such a jerk!! i dont know what to do. i dont want to hurt my boyfriend but i dont want to miss out just in case tim is the guy im supposed to be with. the biggest fear in my life is ending up with someone im not supposed to be with. i dont know if you remember my problem before, but i really liked you advice and wanted to know if you could help me to a deeper extent.
I can see you're really struggling with this. And I certainly understand... it's a tough situation!!
Okay. So your boyfriend has some flaws. He doesn't like your attitude and sometimes he's a jerk. Now, obviously I don't know all the details, but I'm sure you know that no relationship is perfect. And no guy is perfect. All guys have flaws and shortcomings... it's up to you to decide which flaws you can live with and which ones you can't. Some are just irritating, but some will make you miserable. And it's different for each person.
Now, let's pretend this Tim guy didn't exist. Would the flaws you see in your boyfriend be as big of a deal? Were they making you miserable BEFORE Tim came along?
The reason I'm asking is... I want you to be sure you aren't just looking for "excuses" to break up with him, if the REAL reason is simply that you like someone else. Make sure that you aren't blowing things out of proportion to give yourself a "good" reason to break up with him. You really need to be honest with yourself about this if you're going to make the best decision.
Another thing to think about. Let's say you end up going out with Tim. Things are great for a while, but then the relationship ends (doesn't matter why). Would you want to get back with your boyfriend? Or have you really had enough of him, and you'd be ready to move on to someone else?
My point in all this is... if you're going to break up with your boyfriend, you should do it because you are NO LONGER HAPPY with him. If you ARE really happy, and you break up because something else looks better, you might end up regreting it. And trust me, no matter who you're with or how wonderful he is, there will ALWAYS be guys that come along who look better. I've seen some of my friends jump from one guy to another over and over, always looking for the "greener grass", but never being truly happy. And I don't want you to end up like that.
It probably sounds like I'm trying to keep you with your boyfriend, but really I'm not! I just want you to think carefully about the reason you want to break up with him. If you really think Tim's the right one for you, and that you're going to be happier with him, then don't let the opportunity slip by! Just be honest with yourself about the reason you're leaving your boyfriend.
Hope this helps some!!
ok,so this guy asked me to homecoming and i said yes... but i'm a little concerned that it might be awkward? he told me he'd take care of finding a group to go with and stuff but every time i ask he's like "i don't really care which group we go in" and that he has options and we'll see and maybe we don't need a group. ....which i donno, just me and him might be a little weird. so how can i make sure i have fun and that the whole situation isnt weird? and also, am i like allowed to dance w/ other people or do i have to dance w/ just him?
Well, if he figures out a group to go with, that'll be great. But if he doesn't, there's really nothing wrong with going just the two of you. I mean, it's only the ride to the dance, right? Once you get there, you can join up with whoever you want. As for dancing... yeah, I would say you'd need to dance the slow dances with him, and not with any other guys. But the other dances you can just dance in a group with everyone... as long as you don't leave him alone somewhere.
Okay so over the passed few weeks i've been horny, im a virgin, n im 18 n i think its about time!! I wanna have sex but the problem is that idk who with...the only guys i wouldn't regret it is with my 2 passed ex's but i dont wanna have to contact them. would it be stupid if i just did it with any guy? Not like a one night stand or just any guy but but a guy that i know or something.
I'm gonna tell you my story, because it's kinda similar to yours. The only difference is that I had a certain guy in mind. I'd had a crush on him for months.. and even though I knew he was a total dog who only used girls for sex, I didn't care. He was sooo sexy, and I just really wanted to have sex with him! Eventually we hooked up at a party and I lost my virginity to him. For the next couple months we would hang out and have sex. I knew I was just another notch on his belt, but I didn't care... it was fun!
It wasn't until later that I really, really regreted it. Because finally I found a boyfriend who I was truly in love with. And the first time we had sex, I felt sooooooo bad that I hadn't waited. I felt like I had cheated both of us out of something that could have been so very special.
So my advice is... hold out, girl! The time will come eventually! And you'll be so glad you waited!
I'm sure everyone has faced this problem at some point in his or her life. I tried searching for this question, but nothing really came up. Anyway...
First I will say that I am a very introverted person. But, I want to make new friends. This past year, I just haven't made any good friends. I know lots of people, but I don't really see them, or hang out. In fact, I don't even really like the people that I know. I haven't found anyone that I can connect with. If I have met someone that I think I could really be good friends with, they just don't really reciprocate. I feel like they aren't a good friend to me.
I'm moving to a new city soon. I'm seeing this as an opportunity to meet new people. But, how do I meet people like me, or rather, people that I can really get along with? How do I make a close group of friends?
Thanks for your help!
There's a really good book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People: For Teen Girls". Go get it... it's really helpful! I will say that the author isn't the most entertaining writer, but the ideas she puts down are really excellent! It will help you so much!
Good luck! =]
does anyone know why people call really blonde people toe heads?
It's actually "Tow Head", and it's a very old expression. Tow is another word for raw flax, which is a very pale golden color. So people whose hair looked like tow were called Towheads.
ok.. so my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost 2 months.. and whenever he gets texts or calls.. he wont let me see his phone bc he said that its the only think that he can keep "private." once he even deleted a text that he got before i could see his phone and said that it was one of his friends. is it just me or is he doing somethin behind my back? and everytime i wana go out with my friends i tell him im goin to say jennifers house and hes like bull fucking shit about anywhere i wana go. does that mean that he really does that stuff ? what do you guys think?
Hmmm... it does sound pretty suspicious. If he's that worried about you seeing his texts, then obviously there's something he doesn't want you to see. And I think his reaction to you going out with your friends says it all. You see, when someone is being dishonest or sneaky, they often think that other people are like that, too. If he thinks you're lying to him about where you're going, chances are it's because HE lies to YOU. I tend to agree with the others here... ditch his butt and find a guy you can trust!
15/F
For Halloween, my friends and I are all going as disney princesses. I think I'm going to be Belle. I've been looking for a costume, but I haven't had a lot of luck. I want one that's kind of slutty. Like, not really really slutty, but short and tight and all. All the ones I've found are long. If anyone can find any good ones please tell me!
I'm really thin- a 00 or XS. If that matters.
Also, if I don't end up going as Belle, I might go as Tiger Lily or Cinderella. If anyone could find any cute costumes for them too that would be great.
But Belle comes first :)
Wow, it's hard for me to imagine a slutty Belle costume, so I'm not gonna be much help on that. But if slutty is your goal, it might be easier to go as Tiger Lily (with the short, tight Indian dress)... or Cinderella in her rags, which you could make as sexy as you wanted.
Good luck!
on friday, my friend is having a sleepover at her house with like 5 other girls or something. i was invited but i couldn't go because i have something to do with my family. my problem is, whenever i can't go somewhere, even if it's not that big of a deal, my one friend has to make it like "the best time ever" and make me feel soo bad about msising out. it sucks though, cause when i miss ONE thing it's like they talk about it for EVER, and like plan all this stuff based around it just cause i wasn't there. but then like, if i had been there it wouldn't have been that big of a deal. she just tries to make me feel left out sometimes it feels like, and she tries to make it seem like it was soooo much fun and that because of 1 thing i missed all my other friends are sooo much closer and im on the outside. it doesnt always happen that way, but sometimes, and because of it, i feel bad about misisng one little thing. i know it's stupid, but what should i do?
Wow, I have a friend like that, too. And what I've figured out is, the best thing to do is to NOT show that it bothers you. Because that's why she's doing it. She's trying to make you feel jealous and left out. I don't know why... probably she's jealous of you for some reason... but whatever the reason, her goal is to make you feel bad. And when she sees that it's upsetting you, she knows its working and she'll keep doing it.
So you need to beat her at her own game.
The best thing to do is act really happy for them for all the fun they had! Laugh about it and say, "Wow, it sounds like you guys had a great time!" or "I'm so glad you all got to do that!". Try to sound as genuinely happy for them as you can. And then change the subject and act like you totally don't care that you weren't there and you're not even thinking about it anymore. Just keep being happy and cheerful.
Once she sees that her little plan to make you sad isn't working, she'll give it up. It worked with my friend, and I bet it will work with yours.
okay so I'm running for student body president at my school. I have to write a speech and right now im just trying to get ideas but I'm totally stuck. So i was just wondering... what are some things in your school that you like? or dislike? or what are some things you would like to see? stuff like that. Because I just need some ideas then i can use some and put them into ideas for my speech or whatever. so if you could help that would be great!
Well, whatever you decide to say, just make sure it's something you can actually follow through on. I've heard a lot of speeches that promise to do things that the student council isn't even involved with or capable of doing! So before you write your speech, make sure you know EXACTLY what you can and can't do as president. Talk to the teachers or other students who have been involved with it, and ask them what sort of things they did last year. Then you can use those things in your speech, by saying something like: "Last year, the student council did blah blah blah; I will work diligently to make sure that this year is just as great, or even better, by doing blah blah blah."
Good luck!
i have a paper due friday and the question is .. who's my hero(s) and why? can i be my own hero? is that possible at all?
Well, that would certainly be different, and that's a good thing! So why not? It shows that you have a lot of confidence in yourself, and I think that's great.
I wrote a letter to his parents, and they emailed me and thanked me and said I could come by and bring friends to their house sometime, I want to bring them flowers or something, whats something I could make or buy for the, to show that they mean a lot and they've been on our hearts and minds a lot?
I'm sorry if this is a dumb question but we dont know what to do.
Well, when my dad died, some of my friends got together and bought me a tree to plant in my yard in memory of him. That really meant a lot to me, and whenever I look at the tree, I think of my dad AND of how caring my friends were. Trees are pretty expensive, though, so if you can't afford that, you could maybe get them a nice flowering bush, or even a nice houseplant. Just some ideas... but I think plants are really nice gifts because they're so pretty and peaceful and they last a really long time.
I'm really sorry about your friend. =[
I just turned 17, I'm a girl. I get these crazy ideas sometimes. Now that I'm depressed, my crazy ideas have taken over. Today I stole my mothers credit card and ordered a plane ticket to another country. I leave tomorrow, without telling anyone. The question is: what do I do when I get there? I have a little money. Do I get a hotel room and then in the morning go look for a job to be able to keep paying for the room? Or do I find a church, see if they have the answer I'm looking for? Try to enroll in a highschool somehow? I've always wanted to live in America. This might sound stupid to you, ridiculous, I know. I've told one friend about it - so yes, I understand this doesnt sound normal to others. But it's something I'm going to do - so you might as well help me. I'll completely start over, new name, new life, new everything. Im not an idiot, I know I'll have to come back eventually, I understand a little money wont get me far, and that my parents will call the police and whatever. I get it. I get that my life will be completely ruined when I get back. But it's worth it. I have to do SOMETHING. I can't keep feeling this way. So..back to my question: what do i do when I get there? I'd like to have a list.. so far all I've got is:
1) Arrive at destination.
2) Get hotel-room.
3) Job (?) School (?)
What else?
Well, the people below me are right. But if you're really going to do this... and if you actually succeed in getting on the plane and landing in another country... then here's my advice. I would definitely go straight to a church and explain your situation. For however long you're there, you're going to need someone to look out for you and give you some guidance... and a church is probably your safest place to start.
i have a boyfriend that im in love with! we've been together for a year and a half and in general he makes me happy but we do argue alot, thats just what we do and it doesnt bother me. but... theres this guy i just met, i cant believe it but he takes my breathe away everytime i see him. hes incredible, and i love everything about him(atleast from what i know about him). i really like him and i cant get him out of my head!!!!!! he makes me smile, and has the most sexiest dimples EVER!!!! i love my boyfriend but the fact that im thinking about even considereing being with another guy breaks my heart. and i dont know what to do!!!!!!!!!!! i try everything to get him out of my head! i'll sit there and think about how much i wanna spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend and ill convince myself that this other guy is just a silly infatuation and i forget about him. that is until i see him again and i totally forget i even have a boyfriend. im having a mental breakdown. please help!
Your situation is pretty common! It happens to just about everyone, and it will probably won't be the last time it happens to you.
As you said, you love your boyfriend. But the fact is, even when you really love someone, it's possible to be attracted to someone else... especially if you sense that they're attracted to you. It doesn't mean you love your boyfriend any less; it's just a normal thing that sometimes happens. It can even happen when you're happily married! Being in a relationship doesn't stop you from noticing other guys or enjoying their attention.
When you find yourself in that situation -- when you're in a relationship but have a chance to be with someone else -- you basically have three choices:
1) If you think you'll be happier with the other person, you can break up with the guy you're with and give the new guy a try. You may be happier, and you may not. It's always a risk. Only you can decide whether it's a chance worth taking, based on your feelings for your current boyfriend.
2) You can stay with your boyfriend and secretly see the other guy while you make up your mind who you like better. Obviously, that would be cheating, and that's never a good choice!
3) If you're really happy with your boyfriend, and don't want to risk losing him, then you need to learn how to handle this kind of situation. You'll need to tell yourself, "This guy is hot, and it feels good to know that I could be with him, but I'm not going to act on it." You'll have to force yourself to stop thinking about him, and make an effort to avoid him for a while until you can get past it. If you've already given him the message that you like him, and you think he likes you, you may want to tell him how you feel: that you find him attractive, and you're flattered by his attention, but that you're happy with your boyfriend and don't want to risk losing him.
Number 3 can be pretty hard to do, but it's an important thing to learn. Some people never learn it; they go through life jumping from one relationship to another, always looking for excitement, but never being truly happy.
Of course, you're not married, and this is a time when it's normal to date different guys. That's how you learn what type of person you want to be with in the long run. But that doesn't mean you should give up your boyfriend if you really do love him. There will be lots of cute guys with sexy dimples, but finding one who really loves you and will stick with you isn't so easy. It would be better to end your relationship because you're just not happy anymore, rather than just because you have a chance with another guy.
Good luck! =]
i'll try not to make this too long. so there's this guy named joe, and he just got out of a relationship with this girl, they were together for about 5 or 6 months. (we r 15 by the way). anyway, he and this girl gave each other oral sex. recently, me and joe have been talking and flirting, and we like each other. i think his friends know that. well recently he became kind of popular. i'm in between popular and like...normal. anyway so he was grinding with me at this dance a few nights ago. online we have been having really intense talks about like, how far i would go with a guy and i said i wouldn't go past feeling up for a while. he said that that might eventually push us apart because he has such a high sex drive (this was like a week ago). anyway, he came to my house this weekend and we made out a lot and stuff. and it really seemed like he liked me, he would randomly come up and hug me really tight and just sort of nuzzle into my neck. well since then we haven't really been talking too much. online i will try to start conversation and he will just answer and say nothing else...and at school he has been flirting with other girls (but he's a really big flirt and we aren't official yet or anything). also, 2 nights ago he told my friend that he was going to ask me to our homecoming dance...but he hardly talks to me. should i ask him if he is still interested? i fell for him really, really hard and i'm so scared that if i ask if he's not interested, he will admit that that's true, and i'll lose him. what should i do?
Well, think about it. If he's not interested, why would you worry about losing him? Do you really want a boyfriend who doesn't like you that much? Of course you don't! You want, and you DESERVE, a guy who is absolutely crazy about you! And one who likes you for YOU, not for what he can get from you. It sounds like this guy is after one thing and one thing only. And you deserve better than that!
If you want a date to the dance, and if you don't have any other offers, then sure, go with him and have fun. But afterwards, I say write him off as a friend. Let him find some other girl who can satisfy his "high sex drive" (omg, I am sooo rolling my eyes!)... and start looking for a guy who will love you and appreciate you for who you are. Because he's out there, trust me!
Ahh! I have my school picture coming up and i have no idea what to wear or what to do with my hair. My hair is about an inch or two below my shoulders. Any ideas?
I'm about 16 by the way. (10th grade)
I work in the school photography business, so I can give you lots of tips! First of all, your picture is probably going to be a head and shoulders shot, for the yearbook, right? So it only matters what you look like from about your chest up.
A simple top in a solid color always looks best! If you can find out what color the background is going to be (blue? grey?), pick a shirt color that will contrast with it and really stand out. If your eyes are blue or green, wearing a shirt the same color will really make your eyes stand out. Since your hair is long enough that it will be touching your shoulders, avoid a top that is the same color as your hair, or your hair will blend in with the shirt. Contrast always looks best.
Even if it's warm out, you should wear long sleeves, or sleeves that at least go to your elbows. Short sleeves that show part of your arm give the picture a sort of "chopped off" look. Also, avoid big earrings or necklaces... they're cute in real life, but they look distracting in pictures.
As for your hair... experiment with some different styles before picture day, but try to keep it simple. Remember, you may not get to the camera until later in the day. If you've done something elaborate that requires a lot of hairspray, etc., your hair might not look like that by the time you get your picture taken! So go with something that you can easily touch up with a brush right before your picture.
And oh yeah... don't forget to smile! =]
Okay Last night i went to my best friends dance party . and everyone was danceing with everyone and it didnt matter if you had a boyfriend or not we were all danceing close and jsut haveing SOOOO much fun. Well me and one of my guy friends we were dacing close and my boyfriend got mad and cussed and he said he was going to leave. Well he said you need to stop danceing with all those guys. and It made me mad! and he told me afterward that it was his two friends that made him mad at me but then today he told me it was because he was tired.(which i dont get) and also i was standing by the one guy i have known for a while and we were playing with each others phones and my boyfriend just came up there and pulled me away from him ! and he jsut cant trust me . . do you think i should break up with him . and i have already tried to talkk to him about it and he wouldnt listen !!! uhhhh he makes me MAD !!!! please help !
I think your boyfriend's reaction was very normal. Think about how YOU would feel if HE was dancing close and/or flirting with other girls. If you really like him, then you probably wouldn't be real happy about it.
When you have a boyfriend, you need to think about how your actions are going to make him feel; and if you care about him, you won't want to do things that make him feel bad. If you're not willing to give up dancing and flirting with other guys... then yes, you should break up with him, because you're not ready to be in a relationship.
13/f
do girls still have sex even if they have their period?
Some do, some don't. It just depends on how you and your guy feel about it. I would guess that most girls prefer not to, because they feel icky about it. And some guys might think it's gross, too... but some guys don't mind (they're up for sex no matter what the conditions - haha). So it just depends on how both people feel about it.