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another guy...... more.
ok you gave me advice earlier, i think like last week, and i need more. see, tim (the guy i like) i found out he likes me. i really like him and i think hes what i want in a boyfriend. BUT i still love my boyfriend very much and i love that hes ok with all my flaws and hes sexi, and can be so sweet. but tim never stops making me smile and i cant get him out of my head. but i have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and he makes me happy but i cant stand that fact that he hates my attitude and that hes such a jerk!! i dont know what to do. i dont want to hurt my boyfriend but i dont want to miss out just in case tim is the guy im supposed to be with. the biggest fear in my life is ending up with someone im not supposed to be with. i dont know if you remember my problem before, but i really liked you advice and wanted to know if you could help me to a deeper extent.
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Yes, I remember you. :)
Well, first off, you can't have the idea that you don't want to break up with someone out of fear of hurting them. You got to do what is in your own best interests.
You are listed as being 16? If not, you surely aren't much older than that now.
I have one big, important piece of advice for you:
You have to experience different relationships before you even KNOW what kind of guy you want to spend the rest of your life with.
I'm not saying you should break up with your boyfriend, per say, but I hope you keep that advice in mind. This guy is possibly not the one for you, and Tim is possibly not the one for you. But you won't know who IS if he came up and bit you in the butt if you don't learn from different experiences with different guys.
Hell, I didn't know who I was meant to be with for sure until a couple years ago. We are now married with a baby and another on the way. We are very happy. I took a lot of bumps and bruises along the way to find out what kind of guy I really wanted to end up rocking on the porch with, but that rocky road was well worth it.
Consider that.
ygs-29/f
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I can see you're really struggling with this. And I certainly understand... it's a tough situation!!
Okay. So your boyfriend has some flaws. He doesn't like your attitude and sometimes he's a jerk. Now, obviously I don't know all the details, but I'm sure you know that no relationship is perfect. And no guy is perfect. All guys have flaws and shortcomings... it's up to you to decide which flaws you can live with and which ones you can't. Some are just irritating, but some will make you miserable. And it's different for each person.
Now, let's pretend this Tim guy didn't exist. Would the flaws you see in your boyfriend be as big of a deal? Were they making you miserable BEFORE Tim came along?
The reason I'm asking is... I want you to be sure you aren't just looking for "excuses" to break up with him, if the REAL reason is simply that you like someone else. Make sure that you aren't blowing things out of proportion to give yourself a "good" reason to break up with him. You really need to be honest with yourself about this if you're going to make the best decision.
Another thing to think about. Let's say you end up going out with Tim. Things are great for a while, but then the relationship ends (doesn't matter why). Would you want to get back with your boyfriend? Or have you really had enough of him, and you'd be ready to move on to someone else?
My point in all this is... if you're going to break up with your boyfriend, you should do it because you are NO LONGER HAPPY with him. If you ARE really happy, and you break up because something else looks better, you might end up regreting it. And trust me, no matter who you're with or how wonderful he is, there will ALWAYS be guys that come along who look better. I've seen some of my friends jump from one guy to another over and over, always looking for the "greener grass", but never being truly happy. And I don't want you to end up like that.
It probably sounds like I'm trying to keep you with your boyfriend, but really I'm not! I just want you to think carefully about the reason you want to break up with him. If you really think Tim's the right one for you, and that you're going to be happier with him, then don't let the opportunity slip by! Just be honest with yourself about the reason you're leaving your boyfriend.
Hope this helps some!!
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