|
it happened too fast.
i'll try not to make this too long. so there's this guy named joe, and he just got out of a relationship with this girl, they were together for about 5 or 6 months. (we r 15 by the way). anyway, he and this girl gave each other oral sex. recently, me and joe have been talking and flirting, and we like each other. i think his friends know that. well recently he became kind of popular. i'm in between popular and like...normal. anyway so he was grinding with me at this dance a few nights ago. online we have been having really intense talks about like, how far i would go with a guy and i said i wouldn't go past feeling up for a while. he said that that might eventually push us apart because he has such a high sex drive (this was like a week ago). anyway, he came to my house this weekend and we made out a lot and stuff. and it really seemed like he liked me, he would randomly come up and hug me really tight and just sort of nuzzle into my neck. well since then we haven't really been talking too much. online i will try to start conversation and he will just answer and say nothing else...and at school he has been flirting with other girls (but he's a really big flirt and we aren't official yet or anything). also, 2 nights ago he told my friend that he was going to ask me to our homecoming dance...but he hardly talks to me. should i ask him if he is still interested? i fell for him really, really hard and i'm so scared that if i ask if he's not interested, he will admit that that's true, and i'll lose him. what should i do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Dear it happened too fast,
First of all you are saying that things happened too fast. 2nd if he REALLY liked you don't you think that he'd; A: Respect your desicion to wait to do anything past feeling each other up, B: He wouldn't flirt with other girls, and C: It sounds like you guys talk about nothing but sex and the like. I know that being 15 you want to fit in and have boys like you and stuff. But doing things like having oral sex and intercourse with someone that you really don't love and respect will... well let's say that i did all those things too quickly when i wasn't ready to. This guy pushed me into it, and in order for him to like me i had sex with him. I now regret that desicion even though it happened 10 years ago and i am married with a family. You have to listen to yourself, be yourself. If you he asks to the homecoming dance, great, but you may want to think about getting to know someone before you jump head first in. I remember what being a teen was all about and i hope that this advice will help you.
K
]
Well, think about it. If he's not interested, why would you worry about losing him? Do you really want a boyfriend who doesn't like you that much? Of course you don't! You want, and you DESERVE, a guy who is absolutely crazy about you! And one who likes you for YOU, not for what he can get from you. It sounds like this guy is after one thing and one thing only. And you deserve better than that!
If you want a date to the dance, and if you don't have any other offers, then sure, go with him and have fun. But afterwards, I say write him off as a friend. Let him find some other girl who can satisfy his "high sex drive" (omg, I am sooo rolling my eyes!)... and start looking for a guy who will love you and appreciate you for who you are. Because he's out there, trust me!
]
You should talk to him, and be upfront about everything. Explain how he's confusing you and how you've heard he was planning and asking you to homecoming, but honestly don't get yourself involved with him if you already know he thinks it'll push you apart if you aren't sexual with him. Either way you'll get hurt, it'll hurt to never get a chance with him, but it'll hurt if he uses you and then leaves. Remember this is about your heart and dignity. Good luck.
]
honestly, if he has a big sex drive as you put it, and you like to take it slow, then that in itself is gonna get in the way. i think if you want to take it slow now, then you should. and if he can't understand that, then you need to move on and fine someone else. also, if he is completely agnoring you, then that probebly hurts. and if it is hurting now, then if you got in a relationship with him, it will just keep esculating. i know you like him, but i feel that you would be better off finding someone who shows more interest in you. and allthough he might really like you, he is acting that way for a reason. and if he is flirting with other girls, then that probebly won't stop in the future. so, my advice to you, is try to move on, and find someone who is worth your time. and remember to keep on smiling.
nina :)
]
If you are constantly chasing Joe around, you are giving him self-satisfaction because it seems to me this is what he wants.
I’d play him at his own game. Act slightly interested but also act sour towards him…after all..you would only be imitating his behaviour towards you.
His behaviour may I add, is unacceptable. It seems to me that Joe is either doing this to cause a reaction because he likes you. or he is just another jerk who is messing you around, and has no interest.
Either way you need to know where you stand. He’s already made it clear he has no clue whatsoever on how a girl’s mind works so instead of confronting you, he’s typically immaturely ignoring you. To some degree.
When you to get talking again, even if its not the way you want the pair of you to be heading, I’d make this clear. After all., Your emotions are very fragile at this point in life .
Explain to him that he CAN NOT continue to behave in this manor.
(Eventually girls will realise what he’s like and sensibly step far away from him)
This is an awful thing to say, but I think Joe is behaving this way either because
A)You didn’t give him what he wanted that weekend
Or a more upbeat 2nd suggestion
b) he DOES like you, and is possibly afraid for what you may feel, and so is testing you to see what your reaction is. (…in one of the worst ways possible)
Whatever the reason, it is affecting you undesirably. The next step is deciding what YOU need to do.
I don’t want to bring your hopes up, or let them down. But seriously if I were you- I would have left him after that conversation you had.
If he says he has a high sex drive, and that you not having a high libido will part the pair of you, I hope you realised that he only wants one thing.
And any sensible girl knows that one single boy is not worth that torture.
Leave it a few days to see how he acts around you. And if he does ask you to homecoming, which is great, I WOULD say yes, we need to talk first.
After all, it would be bloody cheeky of him to expect you to say
“Oh yes of course I will! You’re the best Joe!!!”
Ok maybe not THAT squeakily happy…
…But he’d better not be expecting you to be grateful with the fact he’s asked you after all of his bull.
If he wants to avoid the situation where you would tell him how he’s made you feel, I would leave him :(
I really wish you the best, it seems to me you really like this guy, but I hope that if things don’t turn out all right, you find a better guy who can make you happier, and someone who will not pull the same stunts as Joe.
Take care, and chin up! :)
- Alex
]
More Questions: |