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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

i started using the triphasil pill on the 16 jan 2015 and since then iv been taking it everyday at the same time but today my alarm never went off and i took it 20mins later as soon as i remembered coz i take it at 5 in the morning so instead i had to take it at 5.20 ths morning bt then a few hours later my boyfriend and i had unprotected sex..is there a chance that i may get pregnant

No. Its more serious if you skip an entire day only.

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OK...so when you put the tampon in and push it in...do you pull the plastic out and leave the cotton stuff in? This is my first time using a tampon and I was just nervous. Got any stuff that might help?

Yes, you pull the plastic thing out. It is only the applicator, that helps to slide the tampon in with ease. Some older women used to their bodies, do just insert a tampon that can be inserted using their fingers as it doesnt come with an applicator. Even so, with the plastic, if you're really dry inside and its hard to get it to slide in easily, you might try lube on the applicator.
Other tampon issues for first time users. I remember both my sister and I not applying it in far enough so you feel it when bending or sitting or it feels like its about to fall out. And its very uncomfortable that way. If that happens, take it out and start with a new one. Remember, the vagina is like a pocket, it dead ends and nothing can get lost in there. So push it in as far as it will go and make sure the string is hanging out to use later to pull on to remove it. Change tampons often on your heavier days. but wear a panty liner in case you're busy or unable to get to a restroom. If a tampon is fully saturated, it can begin to slip out while going pee. Once it fell out due to this reason while peeig as you're using certain muscles right then. it wont fall out otherwise on own. If you're at the end of a period and everythings kinda dry in there, it may be more difficult to remove as its dry and so in the vagina. Don't worry, it wont be stuck forever. It just doesnt feel comfortable coming out but I wouldn't call it a feeling of pain.
Another thing for new tampon users, better get used to getting the blood of your own discharge on your fingers cus you cant dispose of it down the toilet. Not at home or public. Tampons clog the sewer lines. This means you'll need to have a wad of folded toilet paper waiting in one hand while you pull out the tampon with the string and with it dangling, hold it over and place onto the wad of tissue, wrap it up and place in the container at a public restroom for this or in home bath waste can. You might think of carrying a sandwich zip lock bag at all times with you if you are in a public restroom where the disposal bin is missing. Doesnt happen often, but has happened often enough for me to mention it. Plus its embarassing to leave one in the wastecan at a friends house. I think that about covers the lesson of Tampon 101.

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usually if she doesn't mention i just assume that she is single just base on her action one thing I've learn if you go in for the kill real fast you get burn I've learn that patient is the key just like when you have roses you don't water the roses and say grow roses grow its like you haft to nurture it first but so then if she decide to go out with somebody theres a reason that she's not with you a real interest will always be with you i have work in that restaurant for 5 years not ones or ever dated somebody that i work with i know i know girls talk all the time so i am sure she knows this

You must go with your own senses and what you are comfortable with. However being sure she knows, can only be a surer thing if one female co worker has told her that you are interested in her. Both men and women can be pretty dense when it comes to picking up on things, even daily being around a person. Guys pick up on signs from a girl often easier than girls do. They may pick up signs but they tend to 2nd guess and not trust what it means. I answer tons of questions on here of females writing in of all ages, mentioning what the guy says or does and asking if we know what it means. They obviously don't pick up easily on the subtle clues and tend to put all their trust in hearing the actual words from a guy, like "i'm attracted to you, or I like you, enough that I'd like to go out with you. I understand where you're coming from, yes, going in for the kill as you call it can turn a girl off. This brings to memory a video or two by a man with a german accent who has a video blog for men on the dos and donts of dating and approaching women (Stephan Erdman- Authentic Game). When he tells how a woman will react to a certain body language or things you say or do, as a female, I can vouch, he nails it on the head cus I've experienced every one and it's true what he says works and doesnt work, trust me. Can't say it will be helpful or apply to you but I'll post a couple link to some of his videos and you can look up more. At the very least, some are quite entertaining. You'll at least see he knows what he's talking about so it may be helpful for you to search through all his videos for one that helps you in your situation. Heres two videos

You wont attract women if you do these 3 creepy things
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zcRzSsCmrE

10 mistakes men do approaching women in public
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rceu0WVKKc

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Last night I had a dream where I was in a good relationship with a male nurse. We were in a hospital cuddling and enjoying each other's company. But, I couldn't see his face, hear his voice, or get a name. When I woke up, I was feeling very happy. I told my mother and she said it might be God's way of telling me that I will meet someone. I do believe it is possible. What does my dream mean?

Nurses are one of many vocations where the person is said to be 'in service' in this life. People who are meant to help, aid, serve others in some way in this life, gravitate to a job like caregiver, or nurse. It could mean that you simply want to find a mate some day with those same qualities and that is a good mental picture to have. Both my husband and I are people in service in this life. Even doing this advice column is a way of being 'in service'.

Will you meet a guy who is an actual nurse? Can't say no. Most dreams or not that literal though, just a representation for something else. Of course you will meet someone someday, whether sooner or later. As to whether one particular guy is Mr Right for you, will be up to you to determine. I know a few people who got bits and pieces of dreams that actually became true, but more than not, it just represented a deep seated wish in subconscious. You may be wishing for a boyfriend. All I can say is to begin now with observing closely other couples, parents, friends parents, strangers in public, your dating friends, and watch to see how their guys treat them, decide what qualities in a guy that you observe, which you like and dont like. Begin making your list. Yes, a written one. Its very important as your tastes may change over the years and you'll have and use this list along the way as you date, always making an improvement in the guy you're with until you find the one to marry or be in life long relationship with. Does God use dreams? Yes. But on a scale of 1-10, He talks and shares the most info with me while I'm awake, 9 times out of 10 compared to 1 in a dream.

You spend time more productively for yourself making your time of what you look for in a guy than spent wondering and double guessing the meaning of your dream. But enjoy the dreams when you have them.

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So I met they guy through work we started takling and when we hang out we make out but where not in a relationship I want more but he doesn't but sometimes the things he says seems like he want more to, but if i get him in the shops he never gives me a hug its just a plain "hello, how are you" please help me

Remember, you are the one in control of your destiny as far as relationships go. You can settle for less or be real picky when it comes to your preferances with a guy. The trick is figuring out exactly what you need and want--theres a difference, and how to go about getting it. You won't if you wait around for some guy to ask you out. Sex is all fine and dandy early on between 2 people but it doesn't always turn into a relationship, if the guy isn't looking for one for some reason or if he is only into finding consistent sex partners. And a guy will say and do just the right things to keep an unsuspecting girl thinking she has a future of a solid fullfilling relationship with him when its the farthest thing from his mind. Yes, guys think alot about sex. But if you want the relationship, a guy who wants the same right now and is looking for it, you'll know cus sex wont be the only thing on their minds. They'll care about how you feel, want to take care of you, solve your problems, be helpful, encourage and build you up,make you one of his top 3 priorities in life, want to spend time with you and bemoan the times you are apart, can't stop showing affection with touches, hugs in private or in public, enjoy your mind, your personality, your own peculiar characteristics, what you stand for, etc. etc.

To have a really stable relationship, you need a guy who is 'in love' with you, not just loves you cus people love all sorts of things, that love is a preference, like 'i love chocolate icecream' so it isn't as all encompassing as 'in love with'. Another difference is, if chocolate icecream was taken off the market tomorrow, people wouldn't feel like their life was over, they'd find another replacement for a new favorite of whats left on offer. However, when in love, to lose a partner like that, a person feels they've lost a piece of themselves, like an arm or leg, life has lost its luster and appeal because of the loss.

When you ask for help, I assume you want the magic recipe with this particular guy. Unfortunately, that is not possible due to everyone having their own will. If a person decides they aren't ready to commit seriously to a relationship and only want occasional sex or activity partner on call, then that's all you'll ever get. We can not change another person to fit our nees and it also is not fair to force another to pretend to be or become someone they are not, just to please you. You wouldn't like it either if some guy wants to date you but wants you to dye your hair another color, maybe get a nose or boob job, change how you dress, who your friends are, etc. You wouldn't like it. If you did do it to hold on to him, you begin to lose sight of who you really are, I know....I tried that as a young married person, the husband wanted to make changes in me to please him better. After some time, I caught on that the changes I made had no effect. We weren't even matched chemistry wise, so doing all I did was to no avail.

What you can do is have a talk with him. One time you meet just to talk, no sex. Let him know that ahead of time. If his mind is hopeful for sex he may not listen or even want to meet with you. Ask him for where you stand with him. Are you just a lover, a friend with benefits, a girlfriend or prospective life partner? Let him know where you stand in what you want. Talk and see if there can be some compromise when both of you feel so differently about relationships. Truly ask yourself what you'd be happy settling for with him in any compromise. You'll never get the whole ball of wax, but thats what 'settling' is all about. And if he'll willing to be more friendly in public, affectionate, whatever you mention and agree to it, then expect it of him. If he won't even give it a try, then he is not in love with you and you're wasting your time. If you ever want to know how to find the person right for you to have a long term, life long partner, write to my column and ask me for it. I explain what exact things you must do beforehand, to looking for Mr. Right. You must be committed to doing this homework to have a better chance at finding the right guy if this one doesnt work out or it's good tool to use in measuring up the current guy to give you a clearer picture of how well you two are a match or not and make it easier for you if it comes to deciding to stay with him or leave him. I'd be glad to give it to you if you ask for it but you must go to my column to post that request. Good luck.

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I work with this lady in the restaurant all indication that she's single the positive sign that she's attracted is there whenever I talk to her a.k.a boyfriend never comes up but it seems something is holding me back I hear she's gotta boyfriend if you do that is the last thing that I would ever wanna get in the middle I've been in the restaurant for almost 5 years not ones or ever that I have ever dated or hangout so she knows I am real I've learn ."patient .challege. Self control" is a must question is should i ask her out or just let it be I know I am gonna ask her out but the fear of I have a boyfriend just seems to get in the way

As awkward as you may think it is, from what I've learned watching video's of the dating experts on line, it makes the best sense to just come out and ask while at same time explaining why you ask if she's not attached. So in your own words, the best thing you can do is say something like: I don't mean to intrude or be nosy, but I am wondering if you or single or dating someone right now since I am attracted and would like to date you.

I have gals writing all the time who have been asked by two guys at same time. this kind of thing happens in life, especially when the female is more attractive due to her self confidence, she's likely to get several offers to date. So there's no way to ask and not explain without seeming a nosy person or at least getting a female curious as to why you ask. With older people, sometimes the guy looks first for a wedding band but that doesnt take into account single women who never married or are divorced. To ask if one is single as in married or not as most paper forms want to know, could be misleading since she may be single (not married) but have a boyfriend. Better to ask if she's in a relationship. Good luck

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I don't know if this is even possible, but here's the deal. I'm a woman in my twenties and about four years ago, my sister advised me to start weight lifting as a way to help burn fat. I did so and was extremely surprised at how fast my muscles grew. They got so big that I stopped weight lifting because I became self conscious about how big my muscles were. Also, they made me look fatter.

Now, I'm Worried that if I don't work my muscles out some, they'll turn to jello. I don't want that to happen, but I also don't want them getting any bigger. Does anyone have any ideas on how to keep the muscle I have without making it any bigger?

Every person is a little different in how their bodies respond as there are 3 basic body types in Ayuervedic medical system mentioned. I can't know what would work best. However, I assume you want to remain flexible and toned, just not bulky. The best way might be for you to try several different activities. I'm no doctor but from my own experience, I have found a combo of yoga for the flexibility and toning of muscles is great. Pick up a do it yourself book with real photos of the poses and note how well toned both the male and female are in the pics. Swimming is good for keeping body toned and good aerobic for heart. Another would be dance. I used to go twice a week to an aerobic dance class and lost weight like crazy but didn't gain muscle bulk from that. Later Jamba dance exercise came along. https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=42&v=qxZhnYRe7ag


I've not had a chance to take a class yet but this video shows it is something that would keep burning the calories, exercise certain sets of muscles and be good aerobic exercise. If you change things up and switch later to other dances or forms of exercise for the fun, while doing yoga, most likely you'll find just the right combo that your body likes and have fun at it too.
Good luck.

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I've been hearing a man's normal yet calm, peaceful and loving voice talking to me when I'm drifting in and out of naps. But I can't remember what he's said. I feel like the dreams I get are signs from him. Like I've always wanted to save people. Last night I had a dream where I saved this girl from suicide. I ask him for help like when I have a bad headache, I'll feel the pain drifting away from my head immediately. And the same with my sore throats. And especially when I'm insanely depressed, I'll just feel his presence behind me as I feel more optimistic. I've heard him with my "inner ear" tell me that his name is Alfredo. Is this my Spirit Guide, and if he is, how can I hear him with my "outer ear?"

From my experience of knowing both people with the ability to hear with their inner ear (myself included) and a few with the outer ear and also the ability to see things on spiritual plane. I have never known anyone who can do both. My adopted sister is one, you'd call psychic. Born with these abilitys. Remembers back to being 3, 4,5 and seeing spirits, also see angels, her grandmas who passed on and are now her spirit guides. I can't see or hear with human eyes or ears. The other way is natural, therefore easier but with inner senses, its much harder and an actual talent if you have it.

As to whether it's your Spirit Guide or one of your guardian angels, there's no way for us to know. You'll just have to ask him.

If you've already heard a name, you can have more conversation telepathically/inside your head with him.

I wasn't into believing spirit guides existed until it happened to me. I was at acupunturist, lying face down on massage table waiting for her to return and take needles out. I was very relaxed and in that half awake, half asleep state when in my minds eye, one of few times, I saw a person standing in my room next to the massage table. Saw so clearly like a live person. Tall and skinny, long wild looking black hair and scraggly beard, beady dark eyes, wearing plaid shirt and overalls. It looked so real, I raised my head to see if a real person was in the room, as I sensed it so strong as well. Nothing. Moment my eyes were closed, I saw him again. this vision just stood there and didn't fade, while my mind was racing with what to do. See, I grew up in church and learned how to use this inner muscles we have in the brain to have a 2 way conversation with God , not just my talking to but getting answers back. So I figured, it couldn't hurt to ask it a question. So I asked the easiest, whats your name. got an answer and he explained his name. Then i asked why I was seeing him. He told me he was my spirit guide and that I have one more, who was a close friend of his while he lived on earth who will announce himself when ready with a calling card. A week later, tho I never saw the 2nd one in minds eye, true to promise, a coincidence began occuring. Let one cat out front door and on middle of the mat was a crows feather. Which one of our cats could have left there. Moments later, the other cat wanted only out the back door. Saw another feather there on the mat. At the parking lot at work as I opened the door and stepped out, there was a crows feather where my foot landed. It continued over next couple days, told sis and she began seeing them too pop up. It finally clicked, this was the calling card. Although I saw or heard nothing internally, I asked aloud, okay, i get it, the crow feather is your calling card. You must be my other spirit guide. Whats your name. Got it right away and learned a bit about him too and each one had a specific reason to be in my life to help me through a period of time ahead as I was going through lots of transition. One was changing belief path from Christian to more all embracing Spiritual, another, leaving an abusive husband. The spirit guides having lifed lives on earth before but graduated to a higher level as souls can take a job as spirit guides on the other side, and will understand better than angels who've never had the human experience, what its like for us. So to date, I've spoken with God, angels and guides. No, I'm not the norm. But people were created with the ability to be so, able to connect with the spiritual plane, unfortunately majority never learn how. And since most people they know don't, assume they are the normal ones and those who claim to see and hear what they can't, that we're the abnormal ones. Lucky that today more people are becoming open minded about this. Just keep at talking to the spirit presense ask if its your angel or a spirit guide and hold conversation as you would talking to another live human. Don't worry if you don't always hear a response in return. Sometimes its hit and miss for me too if distracted or what. We develop ability to send out our thought before learning how to receive them. and the only way I know where you al of a sudden begin to hear back is by doing lots on one way talk to before one day, you pretty consistently hear back. Good luck.

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So I told my crush I liked him, gave him my number and asked him 2 lunch?

he says we'll see, well a week goes by and he looks horrible, he comes to my office (we work in the same building/same floor but diff companies) and says I haven't been feeling good and I haven't forgotten about you, I just said ok...well its been another week and sometimes he will ignore me and sometimes when he sees me he teases me/picks at me and giggles....why is he acting this way, if he doesn't have not a drop of feelings for me all he had 2 say was he didn't like me or id rather us just stay friends.....why pick at me and or ignore me here and there, if you don't like me like that.....his actions are confusing...he's 35, im 31 can anyone help me out? thanks

No matter what age, from teens to senior citizens, a guy doesnt go out of his way to pay any attention to a female he doesn't like or isn't attracted to for fear she may take him seriously and come after him. So, it's very likely he likes you. this is just level one. Guys are afraid of asking girls out sometimes because they fear the girl will take that in her mind as an instant commitment to be her boyfriend and he only knows he's interested but wants to get to know her. this holds back some guys from making the next step. Just in case this is the issue, You can pave the way for him by telling him that you have no expectations for a commitment or to be bf/ g/f yet. All you know is that you have an initial interest and would like opportunities to spend time hanging out with him, away from work so you can both get to know each other better to the point that you can know with confidence if you want to make a serious commitment to become a dating couple or just move on. If thats his only reservation to not making a step, he most likely will now. If he doesn't there may be other issues he feels badly or embarassed about and longs for a relationship but fears rejection from females because of what he is worried about. It can range from all sorts of issues, like perhaps he lives with his parents still, maybe he has physical or mental health issues, perhaps he is someone who identifies as bi-sexual, fluid gender or some other such thing where the male side of him is interested but fears a strictly heterosexual female might not be able to handle it if she found out, and the list goes on.
You might go as far as having a nice long sit down talk where no one else can hear, and ask him if he is interested in you because you are picking up messages that say he is but that he's also hesitant for some reason. Just want the answer, yes or no...no explanations for that.
If he says no. then ask him to stop doing whatever it is that makes you think he likes you. If he says yes. Then ask next if he has a reason for feeling hesistant to step ahead and spend time with you. Just another yes or no.
Whether he says yes or no, reassure him that all you want is the truth at this point and you won't pressure him to reveal what it is that makes him hesitate but that you're willing to be open minded and try not to react emotionally but wait for further explanation. If he can't bring himself to tell you what it is, kindly tell him you'll only wait so long for him to trust you to tell his secret that he feels might affect you wanting to ever date him, so that you can make that decision for yourself. If he chooses not to, then at some point if you meet another guy, you may no longer be available and waiting in the wings for him to get serious.Hope this helps.

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I really don't like my life, I know my life is better than some others, but I am just sick and tired of it. I don't want to die, I just want to lucid dream forever. I need help! I cry almost every night about the little mistakes i have had that day. Please help me, I don't want to live in the real world anymore! I just want a little excitement, compassion, and magic if you will. BTW I am 13.

If you are a female, I would suggest to ask mom to get you to see the family doctor to get your hormone levels checked. Something that is becoming prevalent for teen girls these days is when going through puberty, the hormones that start being released in their bodies isn't the only ones. As a human on this planet, they've picked up over the years synthetic female hormones just from our environment. We live in a very toxic world. As a result, more teen girls end up with an overload of hormones and the end result is that they become major depressed. Correcting the hormone levels may be all that is needed, especially if you didn't feel like this until puberty began.

Not knowing what your life is like or your sex, I have to guess. So here's the next part, which can apply to anyone. Teens from all backgrounds find growing up is tough, more are anxious and depressed now than when I went through school. Lots is over gaining self confidence, wanting to be liked by others, hateful treatment or bullying from others. Also, a battle few are aware of is that while the body begins to look adultlike, the frontal lobe of your brain lags far behind as it does in all young people. It doesnt fully mature until about age 25 or later. that's 12 years of struggling yourself to make the best decisions not to mention every other teen you come into contact struggling with the same. Choices you may decide to make, even suicide or something drastic like cutting, or taking drugs or drinking to forget your life, all do not solve the problem. First, the problem may be complex and a collection of lots of little things all needing to be dealt with, and good communication is key to getting the answers and also perspective from some angles you may not have thought of. So it is a good thing you've written in here for help.

However, I need to point you towards talking to your parents. they really don't know whats going on in your mind and teens, myself included at that age, do not share enough with parents as to what is going on. Everyone has some dissatisfaction with life in general. But you sound as if this isn't a trifle matter but you needing help from others. If your parents ARE one of the main problems and you've tried to talk to them and they wont listen, then talk to a school counselor ASAP. They may not be the ones to help you but will have the knowledge and connections of who to put you in touch with. We get depressed when there is too much stress in our lives and you sound depressed. Some depression is just a genetic thing, your body not able to keep reproducing the feel good hormones your brain needs to be able to handle even the simplest of things sometimes, life throws at us. Others get periods of this when they run out of feel good hormones and their body is able to create it well enough but need something to help stimulate it. And that part is easy if you wish to try.
Simple stuff like listening to a favorite song wher the melody, not the words, has an effect on you where your heart feels light like a floating balloon. Clocks by Coldplay does it for me. After hearing it a 3rd time in a row, I feel better, like magic. Singing too helps for some. Movement like dancing or exercise like jogging, etc. works for others. then there's comedy. Laughter is called the best medicine for a reason. It also helps raise levels of the feel good hormones. And lastly, big long bear hugs. The kind that last longer than a second or two, try one for 10 seconds. even a longer one for 30 seconds and see how you feel. I get an instant happy feeling when I get hugs. But to get them, you have to be willing to give them. If its hard for you, do it with someone you feel comfortable with, a close friend and let them know why you want to do it. If your situation is severe, once or twice won't help, you may need to try more things. And, we also need to remember to regularly do these things that help us cus our brains use these feel good hormones to help us deal with daily stresses. It's the fact you have none, that your mind is feeling this way, unable to cope. It is best to talk to the parent about how you are feeling because they can take you to the doctor to check female hormones if youre a girl, or have a specialist see you to do a mental health checkup regarding what I believe may be depression. If you can't get yourself feeling better with the tips I've mentioned, then it may only be treatable by synthetic feel good hormones that a Dr. can prescribe. I have a daughter who as an adult finally confessed shed been depressed as a teen and tho a good watchful parent, I never saw it. Its often hard for family to see. I wish i'd have known so I could get her treatment. She found as an adult that she has clinical depression and must be on medication to feel normal. It doesnt mean a person is broken, just some bodys aren't born having the ability to make their own feel good hormones, and as young kids, we don't notice cus parents do everythig for us and life is carefree but at your age, you're becoming more self responsible and have many issues to handle and thats when it becomes obvious. Don't suffer in silence dear. talk to someone and keep talking until you find someone who will take you seriously. Blessings to you.

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my girlfriend and I are 17 years old. yesterday I inserted my finger inside her and there was bit of cum on my finger.
which was dried. can she get pregnant.? she is still a virgin

If you are also a female, then there was no possibility of sperm in the equation and she's not pregnant.
If you are male, and you were naked and had pre cum on the tip of penis and touched and got precum (which has sperms in it) on your finger before inserting it, then yes, she could become pregnant.

If the fluid was already dry, the sperm can't live with wetness and would already be dead.
However, as a caregiver, in training we were asked to wash our hands thoroughly and then shown what we missed under a black light in a bathroom. Everyone had germs hiding along the edges of the cuticles and under the nails. I would suppose that any lingering moisture enough to sustain a couple active sperm could have been present still in those areas even if your skin on finger was dry. This is how so many teen girls who are still virgins and not on birth control get pregnant, cus condoms only help once on the penis and theres plenty of time when it is not and precum gets her pregnant.

It takes a fertilized egg a while, up to a week to attach to uterus where at that point a pregnancy test can pick up the signs. So the best thing if you're not 100% sure there may not have been live sperm present, is for her to purchase the morning after pill, emergency contraception and take one. But they only work if used within a couple days after the event. So today she should get that. Before next time, if you intend to continue having sex, she needs to get on birth control, either through family doctor or see the local Planned Parenthood for that and they do give birth control to teens. and its kept confidential so Parents won't be told.

I woould also advise you and her to spend some time reading up on every subject of a sexual nature. It isn't taught in many schools any more, or very little taught and you're not the only teen to not have a teen. I see hundreds of them write what I would consider to be easy, commom sense knowledge (and may get you a rude answer or two in life if you ask-because of it.) I know its simply lack of knowledge and not stupidity. What it going to be stupid, is if you and her don't do the adult thing and choose to self train yourselves on anything and everything sexual.
A good place to start might be a youtube blog done by Laci Green who started her own quest for knowledge at your age and started a video blog on what she found, She's about 25 or so now and very well known. She's worked making videos for Planned Parenthood even. so she does get her facts straight, provides the info in funny entertaining short videos average 4-5 minutes in length or less. But a very valuable place to start. there's much more on youtube that is good but you nee to search for it, Study both anatomys closely as the science world has learned more of the female anatomy that wasn't known before.
Good luck.

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so the starting of today, ive been extremely depressed, but ever since ive been feeling a high being watching over me, ive been feeling very happy and positive. i feel like its a male being, and nothing to do with that christianity shit becuase im not a christian. im a pagan. and i just want to know how i can communicate with this being, because hes really helped me a lot today. and i feel really connected with him and can easily feel his presence.

HELP PLZ.

I'll start with explaining I used to be with the Christian faith but left as it was too narrow minded. I am somewhat eclectic in my beliefs, now embracing parts of many faiths but the closest path I could say I follow is a Pagan one, solitary.

That being said, I found nothing changed much as far as unseen but felt or heard powers that work in your life with you.

At one point I didnt believe in Spirit guides. But an incident of seeing one in a day vision changed my mind. Haven't seen since then but I hear the thoughts in my head from them as well as my guardian angels and the Goddess.

What I am saying is that contact with any type of being on the Spiritual plane is going to be the same whether you are Pagan, Christian or what ever. few are able to see and hear with mortal eyes and ears. Its all what happens inside you.
It takes exercising a special muscle in your mind that was explained to me while in Churches, to be able to hear God or Holy Spirit. And told not to be discouraged as at first, you will mentally try to talk to whatever being, and not hear anything back. So for a long time, your conversations are one sided and it can be frustrating but keep it up, eventually it will work. The issue is not the beings/spirits not responding but more that your mind is like a ham radio, able to broadcast and send messages, but not able to recieve. The reciever part is weak and needs to be boosted so you can hear, and all I know that does it is practicing the sending part and eventually you'll be surprised one day to hear a thought in your head that you know isn't from you.

When I left the Christian church, I already had a well functioning ability to connect with Spirit and it is due to this that I feel I got lead by The Goddess whom I believe is the same as the churches Holy Spirit which is female in attributes, to walk a different path. I wouldnt be where I am today if not for Her. I also met my spirit guides and this is a difference between them in my angels. I can't tell you if you are feeling a spirit guide watching over you or an angel. Angels aren't strictly a Christian thing.

Long ago I was led to choose a book on the Spiritual realm and all its levels by a guy who could see everything on that plane with his actual eyes and communicate. He assured us that he's met tree spirits(dryads) as well as Goddess spirits of the Woods, the elementals, the fairies, angels of many different levels and spirit guides. So long ago, I'm sorry I cant remember the name or author. And now I believe that theres much out there always around us but we can't see. IN fact, I have an adopted sister who IS able to see things we cant and everytime I go to see her, she's commented on how beautiful my angel is that is right behind me. I can't say how I know the next piece, but that spirit guides are possibly souls of people who've graduated from reincarnating and able to help us from the other side, knowing what the human existance is like having lived it themselves, whereas Angels haven't. And so often they are the ones working closely with us and I am guessing that is what you feel and souls have a preferance for incarnating as one sex over the other though they will experience both. But will choose to put out a presence that feels more like one or the other, male or female. This is just my take on it and it really doesnt matter if I am somewhat wrong, just that I am having some kind of spiritual growth, which I can assure you happens even without the Christian faith. I've grown more since leaving it than before and find Witches in Pagan community who have way better results when praying for healing than prayer teams ever did in church. The spirtual world is real and vast and some are especialy appointed to work directly with you. If you ever have any particular questions along these lines, you may write me directly by going to my column and clicking the button to contact and send a message.

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I want to study in America but I have to do job there to pay my tuition fees. Could I be able to maintain time between study and job there? I am a Bangladeshi boy. I've completed my higher secondary school. Now I want graduation and I want to study abroad. I prefer America. My parents can afford to sponsor me and one of my uncle lives there in New York. In addition, I am gonna giving my IELTS exam soon. But I have some doubt If I can't survive there. If New York is expensive then I want to study anywhere in USA.

If you have an Uncle who lives in New York, yes generally its very expensive to live there. If parents are able to pay for your schooling but nothing else, here's what you might do to get a start. Live with your Uncle while you find a job and start saving money so you have enough to sustain you when moving to another part of the country to get your own little place near a college you want to attend and enough money to take care of other expenses. You can do alot of checking up on which are the best colleges, what jobs are available, the cost of living in a particular college town in American once here. If after staying with your Uncle and working for a while you feel it still would be too much and you'd be uncomfortable and not able to make it, you can then always go back to your parents.

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If I listen to paramore and fall out boy what kind of music do I like?

I did a search on line for the genre of Paramore. Most people are calling it Pop-Punk or Pop-Rock.

I only saw referrals to Fall out Boy as Pop-Punk.

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I have a good friend who in recent years has been through a string of emotionally abusive and controlling relationships. She has some communications issues because of it and even some PTSD from the trauma of the physical abuse.

I came back into her life after we had a fall out years ago over me trying to talk her house out what because a very abusive dysfunctional relationship with a man who was very schizophrenic.

She was very passive for years with men and friendships and now that i came back a couple years ago and have shown her that she doesnt have to be passive and "doormat" like and that she can demand respect from men and not allow herself to be walked all over. Well its worked really well so far but she ALSO has this problem where she thinks she hears people out in public "talking shit" about her when shes not even completely sure and saying she SWEARS when we do things like go through a drive thru that she heard the cashier call me (the driver) a b-word under her breathe because i asked her to correct something when i didnt hear anything at all.

She is a person that is very ruled by her emotions and i am not, i feel comfortable in public and dont think or care about what others think or say about me.

Recently she has started to claim that me or my husband has said something to her that was mean or cruel that we did not in fact say AT ALL during some random conversation way earlier in the day that neither one of us said!

example: we went out to walk our kids along the beach to get a work out. She had bought a bunch of bananas for the kids to share (she has two boys, i have one) i was in a pleasant mood and glad we were at the time beach, i THOUGHT we had a great time. She passed out the food and i remember playfully copying the kids in fun little voices when they were asking for bananas.

The next morning i get a harsh text from her early in the AM that she "noticed" that i called her second youngest "a little b word" when he was asking for a banana and that she felt that was wrong and hurtful and she didnt want her kids disrespected"

Now i woke up to this shocked beyond believe and trying to think back on the day before (which was hard because we did so much during the course of the day) to remember when exactly i would have done this.
I said i was sorry and that i dont remember saying that and asked her when exactly i said that so that i could think back on what was going on when i supposedly said it and try to see where my head was at when those words were spoken. The problem is that for the moment she says that i uttered these words, it doesnt match with my mood during that part of the day or with what was going on!

She said she has a problem with speaking up when she hears something because she isnt used to sticking up for herself, and shes a good friend and all but i KNOW i didnt say that and i certainly wouldnt have said that about a young toddler aged child! but shes so sure of it!

(shes also claimed that my husband has said some insensitive mean things to hear when he did not and i was right there during said conversation and he was fully on her side over the subject matter saying "you shouldnt have to go through this, its unfair" and so on) but she insists that he was NOT on her side and that i dont know what lead up to the conversation (when i DO because i was right there)

The subject matter during that conversation WAS a very touchy one for her at the time and i ask him not to bring it up period and he did anyway even though he was on her side and she still was crying and screaming at him over it claiming that he was NOT on her side even though i and two over friends heard it and knows what he said....

how do i handle someone like this?? shes a long time friend (about 15 years).....(((totally lost over this and dont know where else to turn)))

Hon, there's something going on in society well beyond my ability to comprehend why. All I know is the world keeps getting more toxic so perhaps that is slowly in tiny degrees beginning to have effects on the minds of some people more than others. I see it more like little memories lapses, or not remembering things said or that happened that lets say my sister said happened. Or I seem to hear 75% or a conversation but no recollection of the other 25 % or find myself making simple errors in spelling or using incorrect words when my grammar is pretty darn good like using here for hear, and there for their and I do catch these even minutes later even in here giving advice. By looking around my world, I see many other people doing the same thing, I find silly errors that advertising and editor types fail to see before road or bus billboards are printed or to what I see printed. It's becomeing way too noticeable in too many places to think it could just be something wrong with me. I don't believe theres any way to 'fix' it. You can attempt to continue to be her friend and put up with this. Having a talk with her will just not help. No one can help a person remember facts that their brain failed to record in the first place.
Now, its another story when a person believes they hear you to say something or do something you never did. That's more in the direction of a mental disability or mental health problem. A person with low self esteem can be seriously affected in how their mind interprets things. Because they expect the worst, their subconscious mind plays tricks on such people. Knowing a little about the subconscious mind, my guess is its likely since The subconscious mind strives to make all your emotional issues of what you dwell on most, whether love or hate or worries, etc to come true, It's easy to figure it has the ability to make you believe something to be fact simply because its seems important to you due to you dwelling on it so much so that your subconscious causes you to hear things that never were said or never were done as if they were real.
I believe you to be innocent and can understand your confusion. It happened to me twice. My husband and I had charge of a class of preschoolers in an Awana, church program for kids on Wed. nights. Some parent accused of seeing us being mean or something to one of their kids. We were checked out by the leaders and I think they could tell we were as shocked by the story as they were. Another time, a woman at church recently divorced by her husband went to our pastor in charge of counseling and told him about hearing me say negative things about her pre school child that she was a trouble maker, disruptive and a pain in the butt. If a child was a trouble maker, I would not go blabbing that as gossip to others of her friends in the first place and would be extremely wise in what words I use if I went to talk to the parent so as not to have them take me wrong. the Pastor knew me well and knew that wasn't in my character. She was the church secretary. I was one day in the office where she resided along with the pastors offices and I was there for the attached food bank. The pastor pulled me aside telling me the story. He didn't have to tell me to do anything. He could see by my horrified look I felt bad her friends has said such things to her and her believing it. I had kids that age. I told him I would talk to her. Apparently he secretly spied on me. I went up to try to help her feel better. told her I just learned that she'd heard from someone else. that in fact her daughter was the best behaved child in class, so polite and funny and my favorite and I can't imagine how terrible she must have felt and I lost it, I began to cry as I hugged her, she was immedicated healed of this terrible hurt she'd carried, having a low self image since husband recent left her. the pastor later told me I had done well. I never admitted to guilt, just sorry that she had believed something so painful and it helped.

I can't say if theres any action, even tearful hugs that would help convince your friend that no ones out to be intentionally mean or rude to her and hers. But its worth a try. However if it comes to a point where its' affecting you on a daily basis, in a negative way, affecting your stress level, your health from the stress and your ability to cope with all the other things in your life on your daily plate, then you may have to seriously consider limiting how much time you spend in contact with her or eventually not do so at all.

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so about a month ago i was hooking up with the hottest guy at my university. i've always had a crush on him but i could live without him. it didn't bother me that he had a girlfriend last year i just thought he was cute. this year he broke up with his girlfriend and i knew it was my chance. our mutual friend told me he was interested in hooking up with me and therefore i did. i had sex with him twice and did everything else a bunch of times. this went on for three weeks. it was only 3 weeks but it was the best 3 weeks of my life. i remember the first time i ever saw him. and the first time he held me in his arms in his bed was so surreal. he ended things because he wanted to hook up with other people too, not because there was anything wrong with us. i respected him doing so and not dueling me and another so i let it him go do his thing. i was devastated but hid it.


you see, he thinks all i wanted to do was hook up with him. i guess we were friends with benefits. i never got the chance to tell him i really liked him. i wonder if i said anything, if he would've moved on from me to se other women? i feel like right now he's doing his own thing because he's enjoying being single, but let me tell you, i felt it with him. idk what "it" is, but i know thats how i want to feel with the man i marry someday. that "it" feeling is what keeps me holding onto him.

one month later and he has been with 2 other girls after me. i'm hurt yes, but i haven't showed any signs of it and when he ended things with me i acted like i wanted the same thing and to see other men. he has no idea i'm so wrapped up about him. i want to tell him but i also don't wanna scare him away from any potential chances i still have to hook up with him. please help me. what do i do? i miss him.

All guys want a woman to be sexual with. For some, thats all they want, the sex. For others, they want the sex but they find just sex to feel empty if they didn't have a relationship with the female as well and those men will go looking for a female whose personality they enjoy. Sex right off the bat isn't a bad thing if he's the kind looking for a real relationship and already knows he likes several things about you and the connection is strong enough that you both end up becoming sexual early on but finding time to meet to spend time without having sex, watching a movie, bike riding together. going on a picnic. It doesnt mean he can't show affection during those events, just that sex isn't engaged in. this means you've got a guy you can have more with than just a hook up.
Sex and having a strong connection is very important since its one half of a successful happy relationship and the other is being each others best friend. That doesnt happen instantly upon having sex and must be nurtured by spending time together to see if theres enough in common and whether you have feelings for each other besides desire and lust, such as wanting to cheer a partner who's sad, calm one who's upset or worried, and if you find a guy who cares about you at this level besides having the great sex connection, then thats the one to go after.
This guy is not long term relationship material at this time and may never be. The reason you have a hard time forgetting him is due to the connection made during sex, granted it may be one sided, you connecting to him but if he can move on so easily, the same didn't happen on his end, at least not with the emotional feelings coming into the picture. Females are more able to act upon lustful attraction to begin with to have sex, but once having it, need to feel in love to continue it. Many guys (not all) don't need to feel love to have sex, just lust.

If you think tellin him how you feel could make a difference, you're welcome to make a stab at it.
You said you never got a chance to tell him how you felt. May I suggest something here? I believe rather than missed chances, most of us have trouble spotting the opportunitys to saying something, or we lack the art of taking any action you or he does, or anything he or you say, to lead the conversation in the direction you want to MAKE the opportunity to tell him. Opportunities like this just don't come along often if looking for 'chances' to say or double guessing yourself on when to say, how to say or what to say. Thats more behind lack of action in this scenerio than lack of chances.
If you want any help with what to say or some idea's how to, let me know and I'll try to help. But if you write me with that, it must be direct from my column as I can't answer where you put comments on my advice, there's no link there, as of yet.

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So I had tension with this guy for a while, if a few classes with him and always acted into each other but nothing really ever happened. Then this week he finally admitted he was into me and I said me too and he asked me out. The next day tho we happened to be at the same club and hooked up , which. I wouldn't normally do but since he already asked me out I figured it was okay, now we're speaking casually a bit (it's been like a day since then) but haven't discussed anything. Was it a bad idea to hook up with him first? Does this change things? Shoud I expect that anything will come of this or no? ... On a separate note, he's friends with a lot of guys who I'm really not friends with and don't like being around, frat people and soccer players etc just really not my type, we all know who each other are and had a lot of opportunities to be close and cose not to, is this gobna be an issue for him do you think tht I don't want to be hanging around them all the time or do u think hell be ok with it?

Hooking seems to mean many different things to different people. To some, its just kissing and touching all with clothes on, for others it's clothes off and anything goes exception penetration, and for others, they mean they went all the way. When girls are concerned about 'anything' they may have done early on with a guy misleading him about you, you don't have to be...if there is chemistry that way between two people, it can happen and a guy who was intending to date you to get to know you more as a person, not just sexually, is going to be thrilled you do well in that department and be more focused on wanting to just do other normal things with you too. SO as was already suggested, follow this up with invites to a date to do something other than any kissing fest or other more sexual stuff. If he is willing to do other things with you as well, you have nothin to be concerned about. If all he seems to want each time he sees you is sex, perhaps he was never really interested in you for anything more in the first place and you'll have to decide if you want him just as a sex partner until you find Mr. Right for a long term relationship. Or just don't even go there with him.
As for his friends, you don't have to become buddys with them and if you find nothing in common with them, and he tends to like to get together as a group with them inviting you along, why not ask to invite a girlfriend along then, so you have someone to talk to while he is chatting with friends and you have no one you care to hold conversation with. Or just let him know you prefer spending time along with him but if he wants to go hang with his friends, its okay, just not to expect you to go along with. Guy's aren't going to have a problem with that. It may be more important to him to hear what you think of his parents and siblings when the time comes than his friends. It all depends on the person. If he does have a very close best friend he's had a long time, not just a group of so so friends, it'll be more important that you at least can stand his best friend as that person is important to him in the same way as family members. But a group of guys he hangs with usually isn't a big deal.
'

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so ive been suffering depression for over seven years. im just about at the point where i CAN NOT stand it anymore. the emotional pain has gotten so bad throughout the years where it is now physical pain as well. and this is every fucking day. nothing makes me happy. not one single thing. i fake smiles and laughs everyday so no one will worry about me, but inside im depressed, broken, miserable, pained, etc all the damn time. ive done EVERYTHING to try to help myself: mental hospitals, residentials, psychiatrists, counselors, mentors, different medications, getting out of the house... NOTHING will fix me. like i am not happy, and i am so fucking suicidal. everyday i want to kill myself. and im so close to overdosing, and i know a kind of pill that WILL kill me if i take enough. i cant take this sharp pain anymore. i cant take wanting to die each day anymore. dont i have the right to end my own life now?

and please dont tell me to get help, ive been getting help constantly for over 7 years. it has never worked and will never work.

I'm sorry to hear that going for professional help hasn't helped. I've never had clinical depression, just the short term ones based on life situations that came up, so i can't begin to know what you are going through and I can understand feeling that hopeless.

Do you have a right to make any decisions for your own life or the ending of it, I would have to say, much as I am against people considering suicide that yes, it is a person's right to do so. Whether in the state they're in , they truly have tried everything or have failed to see a possible path to feeling better, I don't know.

I only have a slight clue of something to offer to you to ask yourself based on the time I went for counseling help when I was majorly depressed.
It was due to the situation I found myself in. Married 25 yrs to a man who was verbally abusive. On a day to day basis, I could handle it. But over the years, even tho it didn't make me lose self confidence, and affect emotionally, I began to be effected by the stress physically.
So I post this to you, if you are living in a life situation where you are daily faced with that type of stress due to a job or a relationship you're in with a toxic negative person, then think seriously about leaving both and finding other situations for yourself. That can relieve that excess stress so that therapy from Drs. helps. If not, I have no answer for you on what you can do. Life is precious but I know of people I've heard of who weren't depressed but had painful life long disease and they finally got tired of it and wanted out and many sought out that Dr. Kevorkian or somthing like that.
All I can say is, if loved ones agree it is the only choice for a sick family member to allow them that choice, then so be it. If you may be hurting loved ones by commiting suicide, and they never had a clue of your situation to tyr to help support and encourage, its worth telling family what's going on than silently dissappearing as they most surely will be left with confusion and parents or siblings wondering if they could have helped, and feeling guilt. It can have major repercussions with those you leave behind, such as parents marriage splitting up over the loss in a teen suicide. I just ask you to look at all the possibilities of what your action might create and whether there is something you still can do to alleviate some of that pain. Blessings to you.

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Hey! Ok, my problem isn't something too big, but it is something I'm needing help with. I'm going to be going to camp over the summer, and doing the talent show with one of my good friends. She picked the song, but it goes really high up. I told her I would have to do alto. I'm a more soprano singer, but this song is really really high. To be honest, I'm not even quite sure how to do alto, and I need some advice on where I can go so when I sing, it will sound right. Also, I have another problem. Ok, not to get all gross or anything, but I always seem to have some flim in the back of my throat and it often causes me singing problems. I want to know the right foods and liquids I should be having till then, so my throat will be prepared when I get up to sing, because there will be a lot of people and I don't want to embarrass myself. And how can I get my throat muscles prepared for this? I've tried countless video lessons and have done research, but nothing seems to help me and I can't afford singing lessons right now. When I finally get to afford them, the talent show will be over, so what do I do? Please help! It would also be a great help if someone with singing experience could help me! I'll try anything!

See if you and friend can come to an agreement on another song whose notes you can meet easier. Some people, like myself, have a fairly short musical scale range they can sing, not able to go too low or too high and therefore, only songs in certain keys can easily be sung.
Beyond that, I find I have that film in the throat too often when trying to sing. If I've had an dairy or breaded foods--starchy, flour foods before hand, I tend to get more phlegm (as I think its spelled) in the throat.

Heres a site with tips I've heard before and some new, to help you.
http://www.wikihow.com/Prepare-to-Sing

If you go down far enough, they mention the lemon honey tea I know of as a help. The astringent quality of lemon or even apple cider vinegar added to a tea can help break up any existing phlegm and they also mention a gargle with salt and water which I didn't know of. Good luck

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okay so my bf (n) is bestfriends with this girl (a) and once me and n started dating we got kind of close but then she started getting really clingy to him and whenever he was around me she needed him for something and he would leave me. they had a past of dating on and off like 7 or 8 times. i talked to n about it and he told her to back off a little so she got the impression that i dont like her and that im taking him away from his friends. so i was like u can hang with her whatever i dont care but whenever im around i dont want her to always be there. now she backs off 100% but she totally hates me and wants to like beat me up and is nice and sweet and \"over protective\" over me to my face but then shes going to n like i hate your gf i wanna beat her up shes not worth your time. and i dont know what to do i know he might be exageratting what shes saying a little bit but i have seen some of the messages. today she lied and told him i was breaking up with him. now we are almost 3 months together and all this has happend. a has a new bf like very week and i dont know i think she could be jealous but anyway she told him i was breaking up with him and i forgot to meet him at my locker after school and he thought i was gonna and he was all scared like he did something wrong. so now shes telling lies so he flipped out on her and said exactly \"back off in my relationship its not my fault you cant keep a bf\" and i think shes gonna hate me even more now and i'm scared to talk to her because im like 5\'1 and 102 pounds and shes about the same but her friends are like 6ft and 200 pounds... help

If she is making up lies such as you breaking up with him, it possibly could mean there's a reason in her mind to attempt to break you both up. Perhaps this girl wants him for more than just being best friends. She was willing to settle for best friends for a while, hoping to get him to want the romance side of a relationship and become her boyfriend. He may have ended the dating if he didn't feel a strong enough attraction, the pheremone connection, in the end. ITs what you hear when people mention having 'chemistry' with another person and there's a special chemistry present in romance relationships that aren't there in a friendship one.

So when you came along, she see's his attention focused on you as g/f so she feels she's losing her chance to influence him to want her when she doesn't realize there is nothing she can do to make him feel that way about her. He may have to be blunt and tell her such things. Like "Sarah, I like you well enough as a friend, but since you are acting jealous over Tina but threatening her, I think perhaps you felt more than friendship feelings for me. Unfortunately, I do not feel that kind of chemistry with you and never will. If you or a friend at your request ever touch a hair on Tina's head, I will verify and back up any assault claims she files with the school and police that you told me you wanted to attack her." Young guys may not think of saying such a thing but its worth a try to see if she's back off. If she doesn't he could choose to cut off all ties with her and no longer associate with her at all. Oh and the fact she has a new bf every week is not because she's interested in any of them or it'd last longer than a week, she may be asking them, she's only trying an age old trick to try to make him jealous when he see's her with another guy so that he'll realize he has feelings for her. You might want to bring up the possibility of my scenerio to your bf, as it makes the most sense for what is going on. I may be off track a bit, but more likely i'm close to on target. In fact, if you give him this scenerio, there may be other occurances with her that fall into place in his mind, things she's said or done that finally make sense and bring the whole picture together of the rejected woman for girlfriend material. And if she is extremely immature, she will act this way. You have good reason to be scared as there are some people who will do very stupid things all for the reason of love which in their case brings about obsessive, toxic, negative behavior and it should be stopped and the best thing is reporting any such threats, She hasn't made such a threat to your face, you can't go by what she said to him, however, he can.
Seriously, if your boyfriend was willing to go with you to the police to report this, it would be a good thing. Now if she's just bullying and you share that, or the fact of it being a threat and expecting the police to be able to help, they'll just laugh cus there isn't. But IF you say you're reporting this because you want to creat a 'Paper trail' in case she follows up on her threat, THAT, they can understand and would find reasonable to do. In fact its' very helpful to have a paper trail of reports with the police when it comes to this. That way if she does consider going after you to hurt you or coerce someone to help her, you have legal documentation already in existance to help in going after her.

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