|
I need advice about this guy
So I met they guy through work we started takling and when we hang out we make out but where not in a relationship I want more but he doesn't but sometimes the things he says seems like he want more to, but if i get him in the shops he never gives me a hug its just a plain "hello, how are you" please help me
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Remember, you are the one in control of your destiny as far as relationships go. You can settle for less or be real picky when it comes to your preferances with a guy. The trick is figuring out exactly what you need and want--theres a difference, and how to go about getting it. You won't if you wait around for some guy to ask you out. Sex is all fine and dandy early on between 2 people but it doesn't always turn into a relationship, if the guy isn't looking for one for some reason or if he is only into finding consistent sex partners. And a guy will say and do just the right things to keep an unsuspecting girl thinking she has a future of a solid fullfilling relationship with him when its the farthest thing from his mind. Yes, guys think alot about sex. But if you want the relationship, a guy who wants the same right now and is looking for it, you'll know cus sex wont be the only thing on their minds. They'll care about how you feel, want to take care of you, solve your problems, be helpful, encourage and build you up,make you one of his top 3 priorities in life, want to spend time with you and bemoan the times you are apart, can't stop showing affection with touches, hugs in private or in public, enjoy your mind, your personality, your own peculiar characteristics, what you stand for, etc. etc.
To have a really stable relationship, you need a guy who is 'in love' with you, not just loves you cus people love all sorts of things, that love is a preference, like 'i love chocolate icecream' so it isn't as all encompassing as 'in love with'. Another difference is, if chocolate icecream was taken off the market tomorrow, people wouldn't feel like their life was over, they'd find another replacement for a new favorite of whats left on offer. However, when in love, to lose a partner like that, a person feels they've lost a piece of themselves, like an arm or leg, life has lost its luster and appeal because of the loss.
When you ask for help, I assume you want the magic recipe with this particular guy. Unfortunately, that is not possible due to everyone having their own will. If a person decides they aren't ready to commit seriously to a relationship and only want occasional sex or activity partner on call, then that's all you'll ever get. We can not change another person to fit our nees and it also is not fair to force another to pretend to be or become someone they are not, just to please you. You wouldn't like it either if some guy wants to date you but wants you to dye your hair another color, maybe get a nose or boob job, change how you dress, who your friends are, etc. You wouldn't like it. If you did do it to hold on to him, you begin to lose sight of who you really are, I know....I tried that as a young married person, the husband wanted to make changes in me to please him better. After some time, I caught on that the changes I made had no effect. We weren't even matched chemistry wise, so doing all I did was to no avail.
What you can do is have a talk with him. One time you meet just to talk, no sex. Let him know that ahead of time. If his mind is hopeful for sex he may not listen or even want to meet with you. Ask him for where you stand with him. Are you just a lover, a friend with benefits, a girlfriend or prospective life partner? Let him know where you stand in what you want. Talk and see if there can be some compromise when both of you feel so differently about relationships. Truly ask yourself what you'd be happy settling for with him in any compromise. You'll never get the whole ball of wax, but thats what 'settling' is all about. And if he'll willing to be more friendly in public, affectionate, whatever you mention and agree to it, then expect it of him. If he won't even give it a try, then he is not in love with you and you're wasting your time. If you ever want to know how to find the person right for you to have a long term, life long partner, write to my column and ask me for it. I explain what exact things you must do beforehand, to looking for Mr. Right. You must be committed to doing this homework to have a better chance at finding the right guy if this one doesnt work out or it's good tool to use in measuring up the current guy to give you a clearer picture of how well you two are a match or not and make it easier for you if it comes to deciding to stay with him or leave him. I'd be glad to give it to you if you ask for it but you must go to my column to post that request. Good luck.
]
depending on what kinda guy he is but i am sure he is talking about it right now to his co worker he knows whats going on he knows that your interested as long as you didn't sleep with him your good maybe he is in the relationship and he really cares about his girlfriend and there about to break up or he just need somebody to lean on too sometimes we guys like to make our self fell good the bottom line act like nothing is going on don't push him don't talk about it and don't even talk about it relationship pushing and pressure is the worse thing you can do to that guy he like you i mean why would he be kissing you patient stop kissing your just make it worse for your self thinking and worrying is the worse thing you can do just like me hahahah theres this girl that i work with i hear she's in the relationship i check in the Facebook it says in the relationship but her action doesn't match on what i hear and see i don't have her number i don't hangout with her patient is what i am doing its gonna come out eventually you know when theres smoke theres fire
]
You know, most men tend to fail making puzzles like women do. By saying he doesnt want commitment, then that means he's a wuss thats scared of the responsibility and only wants to be your 'friend'. But dont worry! Dont stop being his friend because one day, he'll be ready, and you're first in line
]
More Questions: |