Siren_Cytherea's advice column

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Q: my name is michelle 14 years old.
i'm interested a little within this boy named rick.
he is "interested" in me too, but we are good friends.
rick asked me to send him "sexy pics"
but i am not like that!
what's a good way of saying no so that he doesn't think i'm prude/mean/ or not interested in him anymore?
i just want a quick thing to say to him, nothing stupid or long.

I suggest something along the lines of "but what do I get out of that?"
Play with him, tease him a little...
Or, just tell him "You'll have to date me first," if you feel like being blunt. You can throw a couple "I don't think so"s in there, too, if you like.
Relationships are all about mind games...so play along. It can be fun.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: how old do you have to be to go to a hookah bar and use it and all that? and also how do you use it?

No, not a strip club, lol. Advice for advicenators...don't answer questions unless you know something about the topic. Please.
A hookah is a water bong, from which one smokes flavored tobacco. It's actually pretty bad for you, but that's only because when you smoke hookah, you tend to smoke for hours. The tobacco's wet - it doesn't burn up and turn to ashes like cigarettes to. On the other hand, it's a little better for you because it's JUST tobacco, which is a plant. There aren't any added chemicals or carcinogens like there are in cigarettes.
I believe you need to be eighteen to smoke hookah in public.
At a hookah bar, they will pack it for you, but I'll go through the steps anyway:
First you fill the bottom with water (or juice, for some extra flavor, but I don't reccomend it). If you want cooler smoke, put ice in the water. Then you put the hookah together. The bowl on top is packed with flavored tobacco (personally, grape and mint are my favorite flavors), and covered with a piece of tin foil. The foil has a bunch of teeny holes in it to help give the tobacco oxygen, and a charcoal is lit and set on top of the foil.
The charcoal heats the tobacco, which is where you get the smoke.
To smoke it, you'll have a long hose with a plastic tip on it (to prevent germs, etc). Put simply, you close your lips around the plastic tip and inhale. Hookah smoke is very gentle - if you've ever smoked a cigarette, hookah is nothing like it. I'm a singer and I was able to have a voice lesson the day after I smoked for hours with my friends.
Just make sure you have water, your throat/mouth can get dry.
Have fun (provided you're 18)=P
-Siren =)

Q: hi. i weigh 175 pounds and im not that tall. maybe 5'4 or somthin like that. and walks just arent working for me. i dont like boring stuff like that. if its boring i try to aviod it and my brain kinda says NO! it has to be fun. i try to bring my i pod and walk, but listening to music isnt really making it fun. all we have is a trampoline! no pool or nothin! and jumping gets boring too. i eat fine. i dont know what im doing to get so much fat! i skip breakfast, and i dont eat bread, and i eatmeat, fruits, and veggies every day. what am i doing?!

You're skipping breakfast, and you're not working out. A good diet isn't enough if you aren't treating your body well.
When you skip a meal, your metabolism slows down.
You could also be eating too LITTLE calorie-wise. Anything under 1000 sends your body into starvation mode, where it stores what you put into it as fat because it doesn't know when it's gonna get food again.
Eat something small every 3-4 hours to help retrain your metabolism (it takes awhile, but it's worth it). Nibble on something like carrots, or celery, or fruit. Protein is good (dairy, meat, etc.) Aim for lean stuff, though (low/nonfat). Green tea's also a great metabolism booster.
I definitely understand that cardio can get really boring alone. What you might consider is getting a friend to walk with you, or a parent, and just take half an hour to an hour.
If you really want to lose weight, you NEED to find a workout program and a diet that works for you. By diet, I mean something you can stick with for the rest of your life, not one of those fad diets like Atkins or South Beach. They work, and you see results really fast, I'm not gonna lie.
BUT
They are not healthy. Depriving your body of any kind of food (yes, even bread) is bad. Your body will forget how to use it, and if you ever eat it again, you'll just gain the weight you lost by depriving yourself of it.
So, eat bread - but eat whole wheat bread, not white, and limit your complex carb (starch) consumption to earlier in the day so you can burn it off by the end of it. (Try not to eat complex carbs after, say, 7 or 8:00pm).
Take one day eating as you normally would and write down the calories in everything. See how many you had by the end of the day. That'll help tell you if it's the calorie count that's your problem. You want to be getting between 1500 and 2000 calories for weight loss. For maintaining weight, you want 2000-2500.
Eat as much veggies and fruit as you want, they're both very good for you - fruits have carbs, but they're simple carbs, which are easy to burn. Lean protein should be a main focus of your diet. Use whole grain/wheat bread for sandwiches intead of white bread. You do need some complex carbs.
As far as working out goes, I can help you come up with a program if you like. Let me know.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: do you gain weight from not eating. because my friend is trying to gain weight & she said her mom told her if she don't eat she'll gain weight. is that true ?

Yes, that's completely true, but it's a bad way to go about gaining weight. If you don't eat/don't eat enough, your body will go into starvation mode, where it stores everything you put into it because it doesn't know when it's going to get food again. Or, at the very least, you won't gain and you won't lose (that happened to me)
If your friend wants to gain weight, she should increase her calorie intake to somewhere between 2500 (which is about normal) and 3000 (which is higher than normal...she wants to aim for 3000) a day and exercise - working out (if you do it right) builds lean muscle, which weighs more than fat.
Or, she can go to a GNC store (or something like it) and buy weight gainer...though, if you buy that, you HAVE to work out, otherwise it just turns into fat, which is the wrong kind of weight. Your friend wouldn't be happy with that.
Do you mean that she wants to get bigger, or that she just wants to weigh more?
If she wants to get bigger she'll need some kind of weight gainer. If the number on the scale is the issue, get her to start working out.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: I'm a 28 A cup and the problem I'm having is that they don't seem to make 28 A's. I've found some 30 A's, which I can wear on the last hook, but If anyone knows where I might find a 28 A then that'd be great.

Also, I'm 5'1 maybe 5'2 and I weigh 107. but I want to lose 10 lbs at the least by the end of summer hopefully 17 if I can make it. I just want to know if this is possible? Please dont give me a meal plan though because I already have one thats been working for me. I just want some excercises that will tone my legs and arms, but please don't include running or swimming because lets face it thats torture for me and I wouldn't keep it up. As for my stomach, Will 200 crunches a day tone it and when will results appear? (its already flat with a little bit of muscle, but i want more lol).

You can answer either question :)

Thanks (:

Just so you know, for each inch over 5', you're supposed to add 5 to 100. So if you're 5'2", your ideal weight would be 110. If you're 5'1", your ideal weight would be 105. You really don't need to lose weight.
Also, muscle weighs more than fat. If you tone your muscles, you'll actually weigh more. Ignore the scale, and pay attention to your size.
So, for toning your arms, curls and tricep extensions work - you want to use light weights and lots of reps. This is what I do for arms:
4 sets of 20 reps of curls/tricep extensions supersets (those are when you go right from one exercise to the other without taking a break. Like, you do a set of 20 curls then go straight to a set of 20 tricep extensions.)
I also do 4 sets of 20 flies and freeweight bench press.
Since you're just starting to work out, though (I'm assuming), you probably want to start at 10 or 12 reps, then move up if they feel too easy for you.
Pushups are also good for arms, back, and abs. Again, try to keep your reps above 10.
200 crunches is all fine and dandy, but you probably want to do different kinds of crunches to tone the different muscles. I do partial curls, frog leg crunches, reverse crunches, L crunches, and side crunches - 2 sets of 20 each, so that amounts to 240 crunches - pretty much daily.
One type of crunch probably isn't enough. You'd be better off splitting your 200 crunches into a couple sets of some number of a few different ones. If you want more details/help, drop one in my inbox.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: Everday or mostly everyday I stretch, then run for about 15-20 minutes. Mostly at the end of the day around 8:00 pm. I try to do 50 crunches too afterwards,and pushups, but my body just feels so tired and I can't get myself to do them. So I was wondering if I would still get the same results if I did my crunches and pushups in the morning, then ran at my regular time. Or will I get in shape faster if I do them all one after the other? I am begging you, please someone answer this question who knows about fitness, not just someone who is guessing. Thanks! by the way i'm 13

Actually, it's better to do cardio at the end of your workout. Like you're experiencing, if you do cardio first, your muscles are tired and you don't get as good a workout with the rest of your body.
You can do light cardio, like, jumping jacks to get your heart pumping before you start working out...but try reversing things. Stretch, then do 50 crunches, then your pushups, and THEN go run for 15-20 minutes. Make sure you stretch at the end of your workout, too. Your muscles can get all stiff and uncomfy if you don't. Lol, or at least that's what happens to me.
I'm pretty sure it's better to work out in one big chunk. You're putting strain on your muscles every time you work them out; they need time to heal. If you're constantly working out they don't have that time.
Let me know if it works for you to reverse things. It should help you get your full workout in.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: I'm a teenage girl.

I work out whenever I can and I eat between 1200-1800 cals per day. (normally around 1350)

Why am I fat?

I'm 5'2" and 158 pounds. is it just that I have a crappy metabolism? so what should i do just stop eating altogether and run 20 miles a day?

How often do you eat? If it's a lot of time between meals, that could explain a lot.
I eat every 3-4 hours, and I get somewhere around 1500-2000 calories a day. (I wake up late, and like everything I eat is low calorie.)
You can fix your metabolism if that's the problem. Green tea is good for that. Timing your meals is also good.
It also depends on what your diet consists of. If you eat a lot of carbs and don't work out, that could be part of it.
Try eating more often, increase your caloric intake, and try eating more protein, and lots of fruits and veggies. Cut back on complex carbs (starches) if you haven't already, and start a workout regimen if you don't have one.
If you want help, feel free to drop one in my inbox, or talk to this guy:

http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=Evolution

He knows a lot about fitness.
Definitely don't stop eating, that'll just make it worse - your body will go into starvation mode and store food instead of using it/burning it. Cardio is good, though. If you can jog or walk, do that for like half an hour daily or every other day. Whatever you can handle.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: I'm on the atkins "diet" and i was wondering what sweets/desserts i can eat that are low carb. My other question was how can i resist the temptation to eat bad stuff like cake, doughnuts, cookies, etc. Because my family and friends eat this stuff sometimes and it's SOOOOO hard for me not to dig in with them...usually i'll give in, eat some, and then feel very guilty later. So i really need to know how to just...not eat them and how not have such an urge to want to eat this stuff in the first place!

Okay, you're not gonna wanna hear this, but I'm gonna tell you anyway.
Atkins and South Beach are BAD. A healthy diet includes everything in moderation and controlled amounts.
I did South beach for a month, and I lost about ten pounds. In the first two weeks, my emotions were messed up, I felt horrible, I was really low on energy, and I wound up with horrible insomnia, and dreams that I had forgotten about my diet and wound up eating carbs. Lol
Really, the only carbs you need to watch out for are complex carbs. Fruits and things are GOOD for you. Your body needs fructose - that's healthy sugar, and your body will burn those carbs off.
Atkins and South Beach are lazy diets. You can't work out while you're on them. Or at least, you can't do cardio. I tried, and almost passed out twice. Like, my vision blacked and everything.

You would be MUCH better off eating a diet of high lean protein (low/nonfat dairy), low on the complex carbs (like bread and starches). Eat lots of fruits and veggies, sleep a lot, and find a workout or two that feels good to you.
Deprivation is not a good way to lose weight. Your body will forget how to digest those things correctly and if you ever add them back in you'll just gain the weight back. The only reason I didn't gain the weight back was because I gained most of it from a pill I was on, and I never stopped working out. I forced myself to do it even while I was on South Beach, but I never felt good.
Working out and eating healthy is supposed to make you feel good.
Please reconsider your diet. It's a fast way to lose weight, but it's not permanent.
Adjust your diet to include all the food groups (yes, including sugar - you can get that from fruit), and add a workout regimen.
Low carb stuff, fyi, would have to be sugar free things...and those really aren't healthy either.
I hope you take my advice.
Good luck
-Siren =)

Q: Hey,
So, being the random person I am, I sat here thinking about why everyone always thinks they're fat, all of a sudden.
Like, not all of a sudden, but lately-everyone's complaining about their weight.
Even I am not happy with my weight, at about ninety-five pounds (14).
But the thing that I don't understand is how we've all convinced ourselves that we look horrible? I mean-and I am even guilty of it-how can everyone look into the mirror and see something so much more distorted than what's really there?
We should be so much more confident!

Does anyone have any stories or personal experiences relating to this? Any advice for those going through this?

Well, there's actually a disorder called body dysmorphia, where someone looks in the mirror and sees imperfections and problems that aren't actually there.
I had that for awhile (managed to kick it, but it still comes back sometimes), where I'd look in the mirror and see myself about 20 pounds heavier than I really was.
I'm 5'4" and I weigh 124. I actually have a lot of toned muscle, so I look like I weigh less than I do. For the longest time I thought I was like, huge. It wasn't until someone wrapped his hands around my waist and picked me up - like not his arms, his hands - that I realized I was actually a lot smaller than I seemed to think.
Then I went back to my parents' house and realized I could fit into clothes I hadn't been able to wear for years.
So that's one reason, the disorder. Other reasons have a lot to do with society and the media. Both of those sources cause women/girls to think that they have to be stick figures to be beautiful, and we're all judged so harshly by everyone else that we start doing it to ourselves, and can DEVELOP those disorders.
Society sucks, in short. Lol.
My advice, every time you look in the mirror, pay attention to what you love about yourself. Pose. Dance. Make funny faces, but make yourself feel gorgeous.
If you see something you don't like - flab, for example - work out that day, or something.
Working out is also a good tool. It gives you endorphins, which make you feel good. I dunno about you, but knowing I'm doing something to make my body look even better makes me feel good on top of the endorphins. Give that a shot - just make sure you don't overdo it.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: im f/13

how many sit ups should i be doing a day?

Not fat or anything, just a healthy excercise.

For maintaining an in-shape-ness, I'd do 4 sets of 25. Like, between each set of 25, get up, stretch, take a sip of water, then do another set. (Stay hydrated when you work out)
Sit ups aren't like, the end-all be-all of exercise, though. If you want your whole body in shape you'll need to find a fuller workout than just situps/crunches. If you want help with that, drop one in my inbox, or ask MikeCFT - CFT stands for Certified Fitness Trainer.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: *first of all i wanna say thanks for viewing my question. it is kind of long but thats because i am being completely honest.*

before i ask it kinda necessary to give you some history. My ex and i went out for a year and a 3 months almost.t. We started going out back in 2004 and broke up in the middle of 2005 like at the end of April. when we were together we were crazy about each other we were each others first love. but eventually..i guess my ex realized he wasn't ready to settle down and be with one person for the rest of his life (well guess i should of know we were 15,16 at the most) but hey. i was really in love. the break up was really hard for me i fell into a deep depression. For 3 weeks i couldn't eat or sleep and i started having panic attacks. surprising this didn't happen until about 2 months after the break up...it just hit me suddenly like finally sunk in. In the time before that i tried desperately to hold on to him. I would call him but of course he never wanted to talk. we also had a really bad argument one night. it just didn't seem fair for him to do this after he mad me so many promises. obviously we stopped talking all together.it stayed like that for a year. because we were together for so long i was(and still am) really close to his brother and his mom so i still talked to them. then like two months before last summer i made a myspace account.when i added my ex boyfriend i didn't really expect anything but when i sent him a message he actually wrote back. it was only like one or two word answers so i got the clue and didn't plan on messaging him anymore. but when i went to his page he had put me in his #1 spot on his friends list. i didn't really know what to think about this so i just ignored it. but a few days later he sent me a message that said i should put him on mines since i was on his. so i did and we messaged each other everyone in a while. then in July like 10 days after his bday his bro invited me to go to the movies with him and his mom. i hadn't seen them in a long time so i said yes. i didn't know my ex was going to come but when i got there he was there. i just played it cool and said hi,gave him a hug but i didn't really know how to act. When we got in the movies i ended up sitting between my ex and his mom. he started playing around like hitting my leg and stuff. i just played along. eventually we were fighting over the arm rest and he grabbed my hand and held it. a rush of emotion ran through me. i don't really know what emotion it was but i had to fight back my tears. after we got out the movie he was all in my face being all nice putting his arm around me. i have to say i was happy. after they dropped me off he texted me. then called me. we hadn't talked on the phone in a whole year. but we stayed on the phone for like 8 hours. i stayed like this for the next three weeks. he told me he was starting to like me again and then told me he loved me. i guess deep down i knew it wasn't true but i went along. over the next few months we went to the movies and i went over his house for the first time since the night we broke up. in the movies we kissed...and at his house we made out. then in October he got a job and started calling me less and less... i guess i knew what was happening because it has always been this cycle with him. he starts talking to me and is all pressed over me then he gets tired of talking to me. one night i went to his house and he completely ignored me because his friends were. here. i called him and told him i didn't like how he acted and i could tell he couldn't he cared less. a few days later i sent him a message on the computer and just said everything. i told him i was tired of him playin with my emotions. i said i jst wanted to know if he wanted to stop talking again and why. all he replied was idk i just don't feel like talking anymore.(i don't know are his favorite words.)i cried but i refused to do the same thing i did after we broke up so i just stopped calling. i only went over his house to see his brother and mom when he was at work. this laster for like 3 months. then one day i came over his house to hang out with his bro and we just completely ignored each other at first. but by the time i left we were playing around play fighting and stuff. he even felt me up a couple times and stupid me i let him. When i left he asked me for a hug goodbye. so we were cool again but we still don't talk on the phone anymore. then a few moths after i was over there he texted me and asked me whens the next time i am coming over i came over like to weeks later and we made out while i was there.then a few weeks ago he sent me a message on the computer asking the same thing so i went over there that weekend. while i was there we laid down and watched tv and he had his arm around me. then eventually we made out but we went a little further than the previous times. so yea. he is the most confusing person i have ever known he is always sending mixed messages. i don't even try to figure him out anymore because he is so wishy washy. i am in the mindset that of we are gonna be cool then we are and if we arn't we arn't. of course is still have feelings for him. i don't have a physical relationship with anyone else I'm not like that. i know that he doesn't want a long relationship because are mutual friend told me that when they had a conversation he said that the longest relationship he had as with me and he didn't know if he could do that again. he hasn't really had any serious girlfriends since me. i know he likes this one girl but he isn't really that worried about according to our friend. i just wanna know if i should come out and just ask him what we are. i don't even know anymore. or if i should just wait and see what happens. or am i just kidding myself completely and is it obvious he has no feelings for me. sorry it was so long and thanks.

Wow, talk about my recent life in a nutshell...you should IM me if you have AIM, we can talk and maybe figure out what both of us should do, lol.
My screen name's SirenCytherea.

Here's my answer to your question: what you say to him depends completely on if you're okay with what's going on.
If you're fine with it, I honestly wouldn't bother getting into a whole discussion about it. Just roll with it and see where it goes for now...
If you don't like this and you need something more solid, then YOU need to decide which way you want to go. If you really really want to be back with him, tell him that you can't handle him playing with your emotions like this. He's giving you mixed messages, and unless you're in an official relationship you're not gonna do anything else with him anymore (but you have to stick to it if you say that, lol). If you don't feel like you could handle being with him again, or if you have a mindset like me ("no second chances"), then tell him that he has to stop giving you mixed messages, and you're through messing around; that you just want to be friends.
Though if you're anything like me, your feelings for him override any previous mindset you might've had, so chances are you're either comfortable with what's going on or you really want to be back with him.
I don't think you're kidding yourself.
Listen to your instincts. Pay attention to what you see in his eyes, especially if he's tired, or drunk...lol - that's when my object of confusion can't hide his emotions.
Seriously though, IM me sometime. I dunno about you, but I could use an understanding ear.
Or don't, it's up to you.
If not, good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: Okay well heres the thing...

i dont eat anything for breakfast or lunch.

but then i eat half my dinner [at the most] because my family is watching me, and so i have a little bit of energy for the next day.

when i eat, i feel fat and bad [like sad, depressed, bad].

do you think im struggling from anorexia?

You sound like me last year. I was battling anorexia for awhile. It got to the point where I realized I needed to eat because I kept getting lightheaded, headaches, and dizzy spells, except that by the time I realized that it was all from not eating, food made me feel sick. My body couldn't handle it. Fixing it took a WHOLE lot of will power and, believe it or not, research.
I work out a lot. When you work out, you HAVE to eat, or your body will eat up any muscle you created from your workout because it can't find nutrients anywhere else.
You need to realize that food is not your enemy. Even if you are a little overweight, you know what would help you?
Eating MORE.
I eat like six meals a day - but they're small, and every three or four hours.
Doing that^ helps speed up your metabolism, as long as you're eating the right thing. (Which in most cases is lots of lean protein, lots of fruits and veggies, and some complex carbs earlier in the day. I'd stick with wheat - my nutritionist told me all that.)
You need at least 1000 calories a day or your body will wind up in starvation mode, where it stores everything you eat, and actually makes you GAIN weight...or at the very least, doesn't make you lose it (trust me).
Anyway, the hardest thing for me to do was to tell my parents what was wrong, but I had to do it. I went home on a break from college, and told my mom "I think I have an eating disorder." In response, she calmly asked what she could do. I told her to help me eat something every three hours whether I said I wanted to or not.
It was difficult, but now I feel better, AND I look better. The muscle I gain from working out now stays, and I have a nice set of abs. ^_^

I suggest enlightening your parents to your situation, and asking them for help.

I sympathize, though, sweetheart. If you need someone to talk to, drop one in my inbox and I'll give you my screen name.

Q: i broke up with my bofriend last night because i ldidnt thinnk i loved him

but i loved the way he treated me. &i loved that he was deep. maybe i just wasnt attracted to him.

now my friend is telling me about how mean her boyfriend is to her.......

so im starting to think. maybe him treating me right is enough?!?!?

idk. im having second thoughts.

what do you think?

Honestly, if you feel like he's not right for you, then he's not right for you. I personally trust my first instincts, because they're always right - and they only fail me when I second guess them.
If you didn't feel like it was right when you were together, then chances are it wasn't right.
BUT if you really liked the way he treated you, and all that stuff about him, maybe talk to him and find out what the root of your problem was. Or freewrite about him - open up a blank Word document and write about him until you come up with a conclusion, or your hands get tired, whichever happens first.
Ask him if he's willing to help you get to the bottom of this. He should be, as long as you didn't break up with him in a really hurtful way.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: Well,.. kissing sucks.

Really, why wasn't I warned? I have waited my whole life for that moment, I have been nervous and excited and spent so many classes ignoring the teacher and dreaming about it - and it sucks. Not because he was a bad kisser, just cause.. well its nothing special. It's SO OVERRATED! Like, really, am I the only one who feels this way? In movies it looks amazing - time stands still, sparks fly, it's impossible to breathe - but noooo. Not at all.

Why'd I waste so long waiting for that kiss? I turned down lots of great guys cause I wanted my first kiss to be REALLY SPECIAL. But itwasn't. I'm so dissapointed.

Does it get better? Or is it really not that great and people just make it sound great cause they're in love?

Sadly, most first kisses suck. Mine did, the guy tried to like, eat my face off, and it was in the weight room.
I mean come on. =P
No, but seriously it took me three "actual"/long term boyfriends to find one that kissed well enough to make my knees go weak and my heart skip a beat.
You'll find that guy, and when you do, you won't think kissing is so overrated.
Or maybe you will, and kissing just won't be your favorite aspect of relationships. It happens...but I personally think you just haven't found a good kisser yet.
PS: Sax players and trumpet players are good kissers, I've found...;)(and one singer that just happens to know what he's doing)
Good luck!
-Siren =)

[Edit]: Good to know I was missed! Better to know I actually helped you. ^_^ Yeah, things are going all right. My life got a bit more complicated since I disappeared, but if you'd like to chat, feel free to IM me - my screen name's SirenCytherea on AIM. =)

Q: 18 feamle
Hello! I've started dieting this summer. I dieted last summer and managed to loose some weight, but I think the reason why I didn't loose as much as I wated to was because I didn't have a specific diet plan to stick to. I think if I do have and maintain a plan this summer, I should be able to loose the weight I want to loose. If anyone out there knows of a diet plan I could follow this summer (prefferably one that won't cost me much money) I'd appreciate it.
Oh, I'm also running a few miles like five times a week or so, if that's any help.
Please and Thank You!!!

You're off to a good start with the running. Keep that up, and keep these things in mind:
*More protein, less carbs
*Lots of veggies and fruit
*LOTS of water
*Low/nonfat whatever you can get
*Sleep at least 6 hours a night
*Try to eat every 3-4 hours: it helps speed up your metabolism, and always eat something after you workout.
****MUSCLE WEIGHS MORE THAN FAT. If I were you, I wouldn't set a weight goal, but a SIZE goal. With all that running, you'll get strong legs.
Lean muscle is good. Weight is just a number on a scale.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: what is a fast way to get abs without the use of equipment. im doing crunches and sit ups but i think they might take too long. any ideas? thanks.

Crunches do help. You've gotta do the right ones, and do them right, though.
I do 240 crunches pretty much daily - 2 sets of 20 each of partial curls, frog leg crunches, reverse crunches, L crunches, and side crunches, and I have seen results from what I do. You'd be surprised how fast 2 sets of 20 of each different type goes, if you're worried about the time they take up in your day.
Also, the plank exercise is good - go down on the floor like you're about to do a pushup, but lean on your forearms and hold that for three minutes. It's so hard, but it works really well, if you have no equipment.
BUT
Crunches and plank alone won't get you amazing abs. You've gotta add a little bit of cardio and a good diet. Without both of those, you'll have super strong abs, but you won't be able to see it.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

[Edit]: Sure, I can explain. =)
Partial curls : http://www.weight-lifting-workout-routines.com/crunches.jpg

Frog leg crunches are the same thing, except you have your knees out to the side and your feet touching. You know those butterfly stretches they always made you do in gym, where the soles of your feet touch? Do that, and do crunches. Those work your lower abs.
Reverse crunches start like this: http://www.stomach-fitness.com/images/tn_reversecrunch1.jpg
and then you extend your legs forward, so you're flat, but your feet/legs never touch the ground.
For L crunches (I don't actually know if that's what they're called) you start like this: http://www.gimme20.com/files/images/crunches_legs_up.preview.jpg
and then lower your legs from your hips, so you're flat (again) but don't let your feet or legs touch the ground.
Side crunches start like this: http://www.treeoffitness.com/Photos/Side%20Crunches%201.jpg
and then you do partial curls with your torso.
For all crunches (except the reverse and L) you wanna make sure your shoulderblades come off the ground.
Lemme know if you have any other questions. =)

Q: Before I posted about how I wanted to lose weight to be healthy (15/f, 5'4", 138 lbs) by means of exercising and eating healthy. I want to lose 18 pounds by either mid-july or beginning of august. So I have a couple of questions (please answer as many as you can :x)

1) Is that an attainable and healthy goal? (exercising for an hour and losing an assumed 600 calories, by brisk walking and jogging and cutting out junk foods... and on some occassions, softball)

2) Will my body become toned, so I don't have a huge belly/fat thighs?

3) Will my jean size go down, (currently I'm a 6)?

Thanks =)

Take it from me, cardio alone won't do it. You've gotta find an exercise program AND a diet that works for you.
Actually, let me rephrase - change your diet. Eat better. Up your protein intake and drop your carb intake. Eat every 3-4 hours to help speed up your metabolism. Make sure you drink lots of water.
As far as exercise, cardio is key for cutting fat, but if you want to tone, you need to do more than just that.
I was your height and weight last year, and now I'm down to 125 - but I'm skinnier than I was when I was about 115. It's all muscle mass.
That's another thing - remember that muscle weighs more than fat. Watch your SIZE...not your weight. Weight is just a number on a scale. Size is what really matters.
With your plan, I can't guarantee that your jean size will go down. If you alter your diet and figure out an exercise program (including cardio) to gain lean muscle, you will shrink - therefore, your jean size will go down.
Losing 18 pounds in a month and a half is a little iffy...I wouldn't set a time goal if I were you. It could discourage you, if you don't near your goal in enough time.

Okay, summary:
Good diet + full workout program = your goal =)
Try to time your workouts so they last about an hour to an hour and a half. Any more than that is probably overkill if you've never worked out before.
Use light weights and high reps. You'll get the results you want.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: What are some of the best ab exercises? I did google it, but I was wondering if anyone had personal experiences with them & which ones worked. I've been doing crunches & reverse crunches/6 inches. I'm kind of bored with them. Any ideas? Thanks!

Crunches really don't do much unless you do them right, do the right amount, and have a good diet. You can have the strongest abs and not be able to tell if there's a layer of fat covering them, or something. (I had that problem for awhile)
This is what I try to do daily:
2 sets of 20 each:
Partial curls
Frog leg crunches
Reverse crunches
L crunches
side crunches
and 3 minutes with an ab roller.
Plus, I have a decently healthy diet. So, I'm starting to see definite results.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: ok im planning on workin out at the Y and i want to know how much time i should spend working different things like triceps, biceps, running, and stuff like that. so please if anyone has a time plan for workin out that is effective for them please say how much time you spend on each different thing. and please dont say stuff like you need to figure out your own or something like that or just give ideas, actually give one that you use yourself.
Thanks

Well, what you do in your workout depends on what your end goal is. If it's to lose weight, then you wanna focus on cardio and alter your diet. If it's to tone, you wanna stick to high reps and low weight, and just add a little bit of cardio in. You should always try to have a healthy diet, though.
Anyway, this is what I do. I have two different workouts that I do, but I switch off daily so I'm not working the same muscles two days in a row. Keep in mind that I've been working out for a while, so you might want to do lower reps and/or less sets, but make sure you keep your reps above 10. Also, I don't have a gym - so I do everything with my own bodyweight, plus 5-lb dumbbells that I bought/
Day 1:
2 sets of 20 partial curls, frog leg crunches, Reverse crunches, L crunches, and side crunches.
3 minutes with an ab roller (these things seriously work, I see awesome results after 2 weeks)
2 sets of 10 girly pushups ('cause I can't do the normal ones ^^)
5 sets of 12 squats (with a 5-lb dumbbell in each hand)
4 sets of 20 bicep curls & tricep extensions (supersets - go right from the curls to the extensions)
4 sets of 20 iron maidens (these are hard, you can definitely drop the reps and sets for these)

30 minutes of cardio (walk, bike, jog, etc)

Day 2:
2 sets of 20 partial curls, frog leg crunches, Reverse crunches, L crunches, and side crunches.
3 minutes with the ab roller
2 sets of 10 side extensions on each side (+ 10 lb dumbbell)
2 sets of 10 back extensions
3 sets of 10 standing leg lifts and backwards leg lifts (these work your glutes)
4 sets of 20 freeweight bench, flies, and monkeys (I don't know the actual name for them, but it looks like you're doing the monkey...lol)
30 minutes of cardio

Yeah, it's a lot, but it yields results...trust me. If you have any questions about this stuff, lemme know.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: I don't know what to think. My boyfriend broke up with his Ex-girlfriend a few weeks ago..but they are still friends and they are going to Germany for 3 weeks together in about a few days. They went out for a year and a half. The other night he dropped me off and went over to her house to hangout with her at like 11pm??I don't know what to think. DO you think he still has feelings for her. And he still wears the rings that they had together.[They symbolized promise to get married one day]??
Help please.

A few weeks is WAY too short a time to really be over somebody. He's still wearing the ring, he's going over to her house at night to do...what?
I'm sure he still has feelings for her. If I were you, I'd confront him about it and ask him what's going on. 'Cause from here it looks like you're the rebound. If I were you, I wouldn't stand for it, and I'd tell him that. But, talk to him rationally and calmly and tell him what's going through your head. Make sure he knows that it's upsetting you that he still hangs out with his ex a lot, and that they're going to Germany together.
If he doesn't know, he's stupid. On the other hand, guys aren't always perceptive. He might think you're totally okay with it. If you're not, tell him.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

bio

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren