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so yea--->i STILL makeout with my ex.
*first of all i wanna say thanks for viewing my question. it is kind of long but thats because i am being completely honest.*
before i ask it kinda necessary to give you some history. My ex and i went out for a year and a 3 months almost.t. We started going out back in 2004 and broke up in the middle of 2005 like at the end of April. when we were together we were crazy about each other we were each others first love. but eventually..i guess my ex realized he wasn't ready to settle down and be with one person for the rest of his life (well guess i should of know we were 15,16 at the most) but hey. i was really in love. the break up was really hard for me i fell into a deep depression. For 3 weeks i couldn't eat or sleep and i started having panic attacks. surprising this didn't happen until about 2 months after the break up...it just hit me suddenly like finally sunk in. In the time before that i tried desperately to hold on to him. I would call him but of course he never wanted to talk. we also had a really bad argument one night. it just didn't seem fair for him to do this after he mad me so many promises. obviously we stopped talking all together.it stayed like that for a year. because we were together for so long i was(and still am) really close to his brother and his mom so i still talked to them. then like two months before last summer i made a myspace account.when i added my ex boyfriend i didn't really expect anything but when i sent him a message he actually wrote back. it was only like one or two word answers so i got the clue and didn't plan on messaging him anymore. but when i went to his page he had put me in his #1 spot on his friends list. i didn't really know what to think about this so i just ignored it. but a few days later he sent me a message that said i should put him on mines since i was on his. so i did and we messaged each other everyone in a while. then in July like 10 days after his bday his bro invited me to go to the movies with him and his mom. i hadn't seen them in a long time so i said yes. i didn't know my ex was going to come but when i got there he was there. i just played it cool and said hi,gave him a hug but i didn't really know how to act. When we got in the movies i ended up sitting between my ex and his mom. he started playing around like hitting my leg and stuff. i just played along. eventually we were fighting over the arm rest and he grabbed my hand and held it. a rush of emotion ran through me. i don't really know what emotion it was but i had to fight back my tears. after we got out the movie he was all in my face being all nice putting his arm around me. i have to say i was happy. after they dropped me off he texted me. then called me. we hadn't talked on the phone in a whole year. but we stayed on the phone for like 8 hours. i stayed like this for the next three weeks. he told me he was starting to like me again and then told me he loved me. i guess deep down i knew it wasn't true but i went along. over the next few months we went to the movies and i went over his house for the first time since the night we broke up. in the movies we kissed...and at his house we made out. then in October he got a job and started calling me less and less... i guess i knew what was happening because it has always been this cycle with him. he starts talking to me and is all pressed over me then he gets tired of talking to me. one night i went to his house and he completely ignored me because his friends were. here. i called him and told him i didn't like how he acted and i could tell he couldn't he cared less. a few days later i sent him a message on the computer and just said everything. i told him i was tired of him playin with my emotions. i said i jst wanted to know if he wanted to stop talking again and why. all he replied was idk i just don't feel like talking anymore.(i don't know are his favorite words.)i cried but i refused to do the same thing i did after we broke up so i just stopped calling. i only went over his house to see his brother and mom when he was at work. this laster for like 3 months. then one day i came over his house to hang out with his bro and we just completely ignored each other at first. but by the time i left we were playing around play fighting and stuff. he even felt me up a couple times and stupid me i let him. When i left he asked me for a hug goodbye. so we were cool again but we still don't talk on the phone anymore. then a few moths after i was over there he texted me and asked me whens the next time i am coming over i came over like to weeks later and we made out while i was there.then a few weeks ago he sent me a message on the computer asking the same thing so i went over there that weekend. while i was there we laid down and watched tv and he had his arm around me. then eventually we made out but we went a little further than the previous times. so yea. he is the most confusing person i have ever known he is always sending mixed messages. i don't even try to figure him out anymore because he is so wishy washy. i am in the mindset that of we are gonna be cool then we are and if we arn't we arn't. of course is still have feelings for him. i don't have a physical relationship with anyone else I'm not like that. i know that he doesn't want a long relationship because are mutual friend told me that when they had a conversation he said that the longest relationship he had as with me and he didn't know if he could do that again. he hasn't really had any serious girlfriends since me. i know he likes this one girl but he isn't really that worried about according to our friend. i just wanna know if i should come out and just ask him what we are. i don't even know anymore. or if i should just wait and see what happens. or am i just kidding myself completely and is it obvious he has no feelings for me. sorry it was so long and thanks.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Wow, talk about my recent life in a nutshell...you should IM me if you have AIM, we can talk and maybe figure out what both of us should do, lol.
My screen name's SirenCytherea.
Here's my answer to your question: what you say to him depends completely on if you're okay with what's going on.
If you're fine with it, I honestly wouldn't bother getting into a whole discussion about it. Just roll with it and see where it goes for now...
If you don't like this and you need something more solid, then YOU need to decide which way you want to go. If you really really want to be back with him, tell him that you can't handle him playing with your emotions like this. He's giving you mixed messages, and unless you're in an official relationship you're not gonna do anything else with him anymore (but you have to stick to it if you say that, lol). If you don't feel like you could handle being with him again, or if you have a mindset like me ("no second chances"), then tell him that he has to stop giving you mixed messages, and you're through messing around; that you just want to be friends.
Though if you're anything like me, your feelings for him override any previous mindset you might've had, so chances are you're either comfortable with what's going on or you really want to be back with him.
I don't think you're kidding yourself.
Listen to your instincts. Pay attention to what you see in his eyes, especially if he's tired, or drunk...lol - that's when my object of confusion can't hide his emotions.
Seriously though, IM me sometime. I dunno about you, but I could use an understanding ear.
Or don't, it's up to you.
If not, good luck!
-Siren =)
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Well, my opinion is to of course ask him what you two are. Friends with benefits maybe? If his favorite answer comes up(idk) then you really have to pester him. First, you have to arrange a date to meet up with him in private and then ask him. If it does turn out to sound like
"I like you but not enough to become gf/bf again."
It's close to friends with benifts. There's nothing wrong with that but there is unless you feel it isn't right. Like, you don't want to just have someone there to kiss,make out,hug once and then go back to living your life like nothing happened. If you feel that way then you seriously need to put that in and let it sink in. Ask him that it's either lovers or friends.
=]
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hey well i think that he is just taking advantage of you i mean you two arent dating and it seems like hes just using you so that he has a makeout partner i mean its the perfect arrangement he gets to makeout with someone that he probably likes and doesnt have to worry about a commitment. it isnt fair to you you should find someone who is commited to you all the tiem-not just when he feels like it. i think your best bet is to confront him about it and be very up front dont play anymore games with him. if he says that he doesnt want a girlfriend right now then just stop being a makeout buddy. if he does want a gf then see how it goes if it doesnt work out then just drop it. if he says no though then just be friends with the guy he is using you and you dont deserve it.
-katie
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If i were you..i would back off a little. Like wait for him to start talking to you again..and when he does, dont just say ok i'll hang out. tell him no i dont think its a good idea cuz im tired of the same stupid crap happening where you lead me on then change your mind. im done with that. give him that kind of attitude and wait and see his reaction to that. he might be like whatever..or he will talk to you and show that hes serious this time. make him earn you back. he has to prove to you he isnt going to keep doing this to you..so dont go right back. see if he fights for you.
i hope it all works out hun!
-meliss
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