about

Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

I'm 13 I jerk off and I'm no longer ashamed but I have a question. I want to know what sex feels kik for both genders because when I grow up and I have sex I want to know what I am getting into. I already know that if you don't get wet it hurts but tell how everything else feels to both genders. (annul,viaginal,and oral sex feels.pleaase😁

thats a tall order.
to be honest, what sex feels like as a teen is not going to come close to how it feels when you're older and more experienced, and theres a difference when having sex for lust or just exploring issues or whether having it for love. And the more compatible a couple is, the strength of the chemistry makes it feel so much more intense.
So it is hard to give you just one simple pat answer that will apply to all the situations you'll ever find yourself in.
For example, I once was with a guy who I liked well enough, and well it came time that we decided to give each other oral sex, even tho I
had done it before with others, I couldn't bring myself to do it with him. His own natural scent was not a chemical match for me and the smell made me want to gag as I tried to give oral sex. Mind you, he wasnt dirty or something wrong with him, just that he wasnt the right sexual match for me. So it was not a pleasant experience and I was an experienced adult at this point.

If you jerk off, you already know how the intensity builds until you just explode in release. Well you get the same thing when doing it all the different ways. Its just that some guys like the feel of anal as it feels tighter to them. However if the female can learn to control and squeeze her vaginal muscles, he can get the same effect and even better that way as she can squeeze on command, as often as she likes, in a rhythym if she likes and that is exciting to the man. Oral sex, depends on the size of females mouth. If small, she will gag too easy and mostly have to use her hand and tongue and only take the tip in. If a small mouth, her teeth can actually scrape the penis and that is not comfortable. If doing vaginal,its more often the males that get their orgasm and the females don't. Very few actually achieve orgasm that way. If his penis has just the right natural angle and her vagina just the right tilt so that his tip hits her "A" spot, a sensitive bit of tissue on the upper side of vagina if shes on the bottom, and just before her cervix, that can result in an orgasm.
However, the more common ways, females have orgasms in by the manipulation of the clitoris. It has thousands of nerve ending in that tiny little spot, more than a males entire penis, and hse is capable of having many orgasms, as long as it is being played with. then theres the G spot, which most men just use their fingers to work on. the upper side of vagina no more than 2 sections of your finger length in, which feels spongy and wrinkly. this will swell with blood like a penis does if massaged correctly. there are many utube videos explaining in detail with charts and toy models to show how it is done. Now lets see, how any of this feels for the female. Well, some females have a lot of nerve endings in the tissue that internally separates their vagina from the anus. So any pressure inside the anus will stimulate this area in her and she can have an orgasm, but thats only a few. Most women I've ever had a chance to talk to, say it does nothing for them, same as me. Feels good but no orgasm, so she may not be likely to have a great interest in this.
then vaginal, some females do better sitting on top and having the control of speed and movement and find it easier to have orgasms this way than with him on top. Oral sex, itll be more pleasurable for her if she has control of how far you go. guys tend to get so excited and start pushing too hard and fast and truly you dont want to make her vomit over your penis, best to let her use her hand to control how fast and deep you go, and have a safe word or in this case signal which means stop immediately.
Guys can easily have sex without having feelings for a girl. Girls don't like to have sex unless they have developed feelings for the boy and he has feelings for her too. So no easy sex. Best to find a girl that you really like not just for her looks but for who she is inside so you can be both her best friend and boyfriend, and then you will also enjoy your sex much more and so will she. Lubrication is important. Even older couples will tell you they have to reapply sometimes often during sex. I tend to gush, (female ejaculation) and repeatedly....so it washes away all lube or the thicker fluid a female has to lubricate in the beginning. this ejac. fluid is much thinner, like water for her and can rinse away all lube. the moment you feel the pull at your skin or she feels it, you have to speak up and reapply lube and I believe its still felt for her even with condom, maybe somewhat for him. Do not consider having sex with both condoms for std control, and her being on pill for pregnancy prevention. One or the other is not good enough. SO I hope you're understandig by now that if two people think they are ready for sex but unable to talk about it before and during sex, than they are not ready. I could never have sex without conversation. Important stuff like, go slower, go faster, i NEED more lube,move your finger/hand over a bit, etc. from each partner. Without good communication or planning, its not going to be that good for either person. Hope this gives you some idea. But as I said, how it actually feels, can not be explained in one pat answer that will apply to all.

[view]

20/f
My periods are mostly irregular. I had my last period on April 17. When I first had sex with my current boyfriend,on May 26,the period was already nine days late. I didn't have sex until then. We had sex twice and used a condom both times. But after our first time I've started having cramps in my uterus,my breasts hurt,just like when I'm about to have a period. What are the chances that I got pregnant?

By early 20s, the usual pro blems females can have with irregular periods has usually worked itself out. Since you still have it, its time to see your Dr. Not having regular periods, you'll never really know when you might be ovulating, the time when you can get pregnant. the signs you mentioned are likely the signs that your period is about to start finally. When having sex, it takes the sperm some days to reach the egg and an fertilize egg also takes some time to reach the uterus, at which point it attaches to the uterus. It is then that you are officially pregnant and will begin to have any symptoms of pregnancy if you get any at all, but not before then. So you need at least a week or more after sex before experiencing symptoms of pregnancy. Best way I know of, is taking a pregnancy test as was suggested. If your period starts, you are not pregnant. If it doesnt, you still may not be pregnant but have something not working right with your cycles and need medical intervention. It isn't normal for a female to go for months on end without a period let alone continue to have slightly irregular ones. Your Dr. may prescribe a hormone to take to help your body settle into a predictable and normal routine. So, if I were you, I'd make an appt right now and go in to see the Dr. that way, either they can confirm a pregnancy or check you out to see why you're so irregular.

[view]

I feel ghosts are In my house. What questions can I ask during meditation?

What do you want to know? Ask those questions. When I first saw my spirit guide standing silently in the room watching me but not saying a word, i figured I'd have to start conversation. And the most logical one I could think of was "Who are you." and I got a very detailed answer. A ghost who believes the home to be theirs and you the intruder may not be of the mind to answer you but demand you explain who you are and why you are there.

[view]

I put in a tampon for the first time. at first I thought i did it right, but then realized it was really uncomfortable, and I don't think all the way in. But I went to get it out, and it won't come out, and hurts really bad. it's been in for about 2 hours.

ok, before you panic, if your flow isn't heavy enough and the walls of the vagina dry, then yes, it will not slide out easy. And when you begin to pull, it kinda drags at the skin which feels uncomfortable. Everyone has a different pain level of tolerance. So its hard to know if yours is more the irritating uncomfortable pain rather than a sharp pain that takes your breath away.

It is very common for a girl to put in her tampon wrong the first time, not putting it in far enough so you feel it when you walk or sit and its very uncomfortable. No need to worry. The vagina dead ends at the cervix and there's no where for a tampon to get lost in there.
In case it is just too dry and not sliding out easy, you may want to ask for moms help first. See if she has a personal lube like KY jelly to offer. Lubricate your finger and try to slide the finger in along the tampon and lubricate the walls of vagina so it slides out easier. If you can't get a finger tip in to do so, it may be a tight fit and will need mom to help. If she can't get it out either, then you will have to go see a Dr.
there is another possibility other than just having an extra tight vagina but this one has to do with the hymen. in some cases, this tough tissue doesnt follow the circumferance of the vagina but is a strip of flesh going down the middle of the entrance, in effect causing two much smaller holes that even a tampon can't get past. I have heard of daughters telling their mom and mom couldnt help and when they saw a Dr. it was discovered they had this condition, called a septate hymen. It is often discovered as a girl starts trying to use tampons as they will barely fit and if they go in, wont come back out easy. However it is a quick easy fix for Dr.s. After a local numbing agent, they snip away that strip of flesh and you'll be fine. I heard its not painful with no lasting after effects. the only reall pain is this stretch of skin being pulled at and not budging. Best to let mom have a look, cus yes its embarassing to go to the dr. for this. If she cant help, then there's no way around it and you'll need to see it Dr.

[view]

could it also be a spirit killed themselves and ended up wondering why they did...? or am I wrong? (about being troubled)

and I didn't mean guiding me. I meant just helping me feel better. and is it possible whena person starts talking to them, they can help encourage the spirit(s) to go to heaven?

(btw, thank you for answering my questions. youre really helpful and extremely smart. :) )

Its possible. I have a adopted sister who is psychic. Sees been able to see and hear the spirit worlkd since her early memories of being about 3 yrs of age. this is something she does today as a business. Someone has a haunted place and she goes to help the soul cross over. I do not know of cases of inexperienced people just beginning to see the spiritual plane or being able to help souls cross over. Its possible but I 've never seen it documented

[view]

How do you know when a guy likes you ? I'm sick and tired of guys asking me out to dinner but then I later see them hanging out with other girls ...
I just can't read guys, they're just so vague and complicated

Depends on how well the guy really knew you before asking you out. ANd then theres a lot more to consider.
tell me the answer to this, if you decided to ask a hot looking guy you see often but don't really know anything about to go out to dinner and he accepted. Would you feel obligated to continue dating them if you discovered in that first date or subsequent dates that there was something about him that turned you off or you found something that would grate on you after a while? I don't think you'd feel you wanted to have to continue dating. Thats what dating is about, at least the initial level after first an attraction by looks and how a person carries themselves.
Dating at first level is information gathering stage. Yes, some guys who are players take advantage of this. But there can be sincere guys like you trying to find a girl who is just right for him. Initial attraction is a wonderful feeling but may not reveal whether there is real chemistry. It may take spending time with a person, hanging out or officially being asked on a date rather than to hang out with is Exactly the same thing, its to get to know the person better. I dated after a divorce and can say that at first date, I already knew I wasnt interested and never saw the guy again and there were way more of those dates than the ones where I dated a short while until I found my 2nd husband. So was I a player, leading guys on by setting a coffe or dinner date to get to know them better after only having seen their dating profile pic and talked on phone? It has to go both ways girl. If by the standards of a one time date and never returning, then in your eyes I'd be a player.
Now its entirely different but not necessarily bad yet if he hasn't promised you anything because he is still searching, keeping his options open. I did the same thing. If 3 guys at same time were interested and looked like a good prospect, I didn't want to lose them by saying, Well wait until I go out with 2 other guys first to see if I like any of them. this process of checking out several different people at the same time is perfectly normal IF no emotional attachments have had time to form and if they have, thats the point at which you decide on the one you have feelings with, make a commitment to date only them and become official and stop looking at others. The problem is that many people who use this method of dating to find the right one, don't tell the person accepting a date as to what they are doing. Giving them a chance to still go out but not have their hopes up. So my suggestion for you, is that the next time a guy asks you out, instead of getting your own hopes out, find out where's he's at. Is he dating to find the love of his life to commit to or just dating for fun as a social experience. Cut out the ones who are not serious or ready to commit IF they discover you to be their perfect mate.

If you aren't ready to commit to a long term or life long relationship your self then its not fair to expect such action from the guy. I say life long in case you're still in school and just starting to date. Long term in that case would be a year or more.

What do you think is the first thing a guy sees about a girl that makes him want to date her. Is it her looks, or her personality and character, who she is inside.
Every red blooded male who is heterosexual is going to first be attracted to her looks. In most cases, he will know nothing or very little of who you are beyond the looks. So if a guy approaches, it is a given he is asking you out only based for the moment on looks. For one moment try to picture a guy asking out a girl he finds hideous? Not happening. Some guys stop at that point cus looks is all they need to get it up and have sex. They'll do the romancing and say all the things they think she wants to hear if the sex is good and they want more. But it doesn't mean he wants a true real committed relationship or meant anything he said or did.

Then there's the guy who is looking for a life long mate, not a driving desire to but very open to going that way if he finds the right one. You better hope your looks are something he can live with day in day out without ever getting tired of them even when your body changes due to children or you change as you grow much older. But that isnt enough, is it dear.

You want a man who is not only the best lover and romantic partner but also your best friend, that emotional support, the person who can read and see your needs before you even say so, they encourage you and all your pursuits, allow you to be your own self without trying to change you, etc...all the stuff a best friend is. The best friend part will only come if there is enough in common and love begins to grow. You love your girlfriends, in a different way of course, don't you. Well thats one kind of love needed in a relationship between you and a guy, the other romantic love.

My guess, you are waiting for a guy to take interest in you. Don't you have an idea of what you really need and want in a guy or will any who find you attractive do? If you have no criteria for a guy to meet, you may have a lot of unhappy relationships that break up. You need to date only long enough to discover if He meets Your Criteria for a life long partner and if he doesn't, You break up with Him. That is how it is best done. there are less men than women in the world. So if you want a mate in the end, be proactive, you do the asking out. But you better have a clue first what you are comparing him to and there better be a list of what you are looking for. Just a tidbit to help you start that list, it needs important things like, does he loves kids and want them some day. Saying he does isn't good enough, watch him with nieces or nephews or around other kids and see how he acts. How about differenc of religious beliefs if any. If one is Christian and the other not, will one be trying to convert their partner when the other doesnt want that. Is the person perfectly at peace with you believing what you do without thinking it a wrong path? these are but a few things that can break up a relationship. Be diliget and very in depth and picky in your listing of things and you will update it as you have experience, finding things to take off but much more specifics to add. It takes time dear but will be worth it in the end. good luck.

[view]

I love my boyfriend & he loves me. I've never been in a long term-long distance relationship before. We talk every night & when do get to hang around each other is soo hard to part ways. but he has a lot of issues... 2 kids.. 2Baby mommas .. i have met one kid/mom the other lives States away.. i have NO kids.
I knew him in the past and loved him ever since and now that hes in my life again and hes said he's always loved me it seems like a fairytale .. like are we really soulmates? He says he want me & obly me and forever.
but i go on his facebook and he asks ppl about other girls. not often actually just today but he is an alcoholic and i don't want to make excusess.. he also pokes" other women... is that lead to cheating? If he only wants why does he do that stuff on fb? I'm immature for my age and so is he and i have never had a serious relationship before .. what u think?

You've given me all the reason why he would not be a good choice of a man to go after. So all we need to know now is the other half of the list of pros and cons, the pro's are missing.

And don't tell me that having known him in the past is one of the reasons he is a good choice. tats neither positive nor negative.

If some rich person tomorrow told you that an angel told them to give you lots of money to make you rich, would you believe them just because they told you? I dont think so. You wouldn't believe it until you had some real proof. And what would be 'real proof' for you? If you havent guessed, let me help, the proof would be in the rich persons actions, by actually setting up the bank acount in your name and putting the money in it, right?

From this story, would you agree that,
Until proven by a persons actions not onceas meaningless.
I hope you said yes. Because when this man tells you ... " he's always loved you & he wants you & only you and forever", those are only words until he can consistantly prove them.

So how to know a man's character and who he is inside? Well a good principle to live by is: Whatever fruit you see in his life, you can expect more of the same from where that came from.
What I mean is, If he were an apple tree, you would not be able to expect oranges from him. His past life is the example of what you can expect from him, apples, not oranges which in real words translates to he probably doesnt have a clue what love is. He knows what Lust is and acting on it got him two kids with two other women. You state you are both immature for your age. That is one of the problems too. Early in our life, dating and relationships are delved into without having a clue or experience yet on the how to navigate it without making mistakes. No, theres no such class to learn it in, but people can ask questions of older adults as you are doing here. So that is a good thing. Although I am afraid your long term feelings for him will win out and you will run to him feeling he is the best you have at this moment and often thats enough for a girl, she settles for less more often because she hasn't taken the time to write out a list of what she really wants in a guy. On your ideal list of what you'd want in a guy, would you be looking for a guy who is an alcoholic? Would that be a 'must have' so that if he wasn't an alcoholic, that would be a deal breaker and you wouldn't be interested? Sounds idiotic, doesnt it. I am trying to make a point here. If you wouldn't put something like that on a list of what you are looking for in a guy, why would you accept one who is. this isn't the only potential problem I see, but using just this one for an example. Why do people drink? One way it starts is to impress friends and they just over do it. Which means, this man has no self control, he is unable to set personal limits and stick with it, and that's a short step away from unable to make promises and stick with them, both things I'd hope were on your list of things you want in a man. Now the other reason is that he is using alcohol to cover up his hurt of something in the past that has emotionally bothered him. It could be a great variety of things that can happen, a controlling parent, abuse, neglect, bullying done to them, or just one little incident their child mind took the wrong way but wasn't bad, and to escape the memories rather than face them and get professional help, a person over drinks to numb the sense. So again, you have a person who has some issues in his past that could be a bomb waiting to explode where they continue to do the same to others that was done to them. It could mean they don't want to learn to forgive which is part of the healing process, and living with a man who holds you responsible for every little thing and has a habit of not forgiving is a possibility, or again if abuse in his past, he could over time become over abusive and controlling. the list goes on as to the potential problems than can arise. All people have things in their past that are not very nice stuff that they had to learn to overcome in other ways. taking to alcohol, is running away from your issues rather than facing them. Quite an unadmireable trait in a man, wouldn't you say?

He also does not discuss anything about sex and contraception before having sex with a girl as evident from having made two babies already. Either he doesnt really care if they get pregnant cus in the end he doesnt feel its his responsibility...which it darn well is...to discuss birth control and safe sex if he were mature and caring, OR you can try to believe that both girls lied to him about being on protection when they weren't. In that case, I can see it happening once, but not twice. Fact is it happened twice, which means proper contraception wasn't used. this could mean his choice in women that he is attracted to has nothing to do with them being responsible, adult, mature women who will take care of such matters even if he doesnt bring it up. If he can make such poor choices of females in the past, how can you be sure he's learned how to discearn a good choice now. Maybe he does not have a clue what he is looking for in a woman to spend long term or life long with? And if he still isn't sure, then how will he know that you are the one? Thats like you applying for a job and telling the person hiring how much you like doing 'whatever' and how you get real satisfaction from doing ..... when you don't have a clue, YOu're just saying that to get the job. and any job will do cus you want money, not the position because you actually have a heart for what the company represents.
So if he has no clue that you are the right one, it makes sense that even tho clueless, he will keep looking at other girls, no matter what he says to you because for some reason, he thinks he will know the right one instantly even tho he hasn't a clue. He isn't ready for a serious relationship. And there is a chance you may not be either. But you could be. It will take alot of study on how to better yourself, learn how to become a more self sufficient person, gain more self confidence, decide what it is you really want in a man, in very detailed notes to yourself, and begin to study about how to relate to all people not just specific study in how to relate to a partner as the whole is going to help you just as much in preparation. Study dating do's and don'ts. Read some psychology books geared at understanding oneself let alone others. Be well equipped first before dabbling in something you aren't prepared for. Like driving a car, a person needs to learn to become familiar with where everything is in a car, what they do, read up on driving rules and pass tests before they can be licensed to drive a car. there's unfortunately no such system for relationships, where one can study a set program, pass tests and be road ready for a relationship. that part is up to you to figure out how to do.
this is just my opinion based on how I interpreted your words and can be totally off, but again with what you wrote, this is what I think.

[view]

Hi there,
Ive written here before and going to summarize before I get to the point.
Im in a long distance relationship,Ive loved this man for about 4 years now,we met when we were teens,Im 25,he is 26.He is California,I am in Washington.
4 years ago,I knew when I re-connected with him,that I liked him,and made a choice,to pursue him.
We were friends of course,and were flirty and one day I said I love him,and he admitted the same. Things were great,and then he went through some things,and he seperated himself from me,during that time,we say hi and bye,and I was always there for him,and we re-connected and picked up where we left off,time passed,nothing official,but it was nice. But some parts in bewteen didnt always pan out.
But about a year ago,we became very very very serious.And I wa just so happy.He opened up more and he really liked me,and told me.We'd talk for hours and hours and hours,we really had love between us.I was suppose to see him in August of last year,but backed out because I was afraid of flying,and was too scared to take a plane,and my mother refused for me to take a Greyhound.She said take a plane,or else you cant go.I choe not to go,and me and my love parted ways.I have always regretted that choice so much. You have no idea.I still cry about it because of guilt.How I wish I had gone.I couldnt deal being away from him,so long,almost 2 months,and I sent flowers to his house because I didnt know any other way to contact him to say I was so very and truly sorry.It was very emotional for me.He said he really missed me,and agreed to get back with me. Speeding this along,he has been unemployed and keeps getting let go for his jobs.He so far has had at least 4 in this year alone.He wants to save enough money for him to get a place for him and I,so we can finally live together. What I always dreamed of. He always kept saying ''Im broke,I dont have money'' I asked of course when I could see him,and he said when ''I have money'' However,he managed to get himself $800 to go to EDC in 2 weeks,in Las Vegas. He didnt have any money huh? When I talked to him on the phone,he told me just how he kept trying to make sure could pay for this and go to this event. This was so important to him.
Is it wrong of me to be pissed that he spent all this money for himself and not a penny on me?
''Be patient,be patient'' he keeps telling me
Patient? 4 years isnt patient? All that money you spent? You want me to be patient?
As if that wasnt enough,he doesnt think we should talk everyday,he says hes comfortable enough and we dont need to anymore,and he doesnt need photos either.
We always said good morning to one another,and now,its an issue.He never complained about my photos..However he makes sure to like all his photos of models and porn stars on his Instagram,for that he has always made the time for.Oh he doesnt mind looking around.
Its breaking my heart. I asked''When can I see you?'' He responded ''When I get the money......or if you could get the money too''
Yeah,do it all myself.
I have always done all the work.I have always done it all myself. I have always been the first to text.call,write.you name it.I have always been there in every bad time he has been in.
And this guy,is just sitting back.
So what is this?
Oh you can handle one more thing,just one more time.
Or my favorite''I should have a place by Christmas''
He always kept promising,he is still promising.
Im sick of it!!
As if that isnt enough,here;s a topper for me,he had a relationship for 10 months in 2013,and never told me.He posted some photos of them on his Instagram.And made an announcemnt on Facebook,due to the fact,I was blocked from the accounts,I was never able to know until,actually a week before I was suppposed to see him.
He still likes her photos on Instagram,even she has a fiance and he leaves comments for her. Very weird. She has been respectful enough to delete the photos of the 2 of them when they were together. He still has yet to delete his off his Instagram.He still doesnt know,that I know about the relationship he has with this woman.
All my work,time and dedication for nothing! I havent just poured my heart and soul in this,I have put in my life in this!
Im just outraged that he spent all this money to go to Vegas,yet tells me''I dont have any money for you to come see me,Im broke''
Seriously though?
How long does it take to send a text message? Say 10 seconds? He cant 10 spare 10 seconds to say good morning after I do? Uh,I dont think so.
But boy,he just has to like his all these women's photos on Facebook,its like he's addicted.
Anyways,my heart is so shattered. He kept promising and promising.I dont want all that Ive done for nothing. It cant be. I really do love him,and quitting is always there for an option.
I just wanted us to be happy and be together.
But has rejected me alot,and he is so now,by purposely ignoring me,but every once in awhile he says good morning,hi babe,I love you,that kind of thing.
What do I do here? Please,what do I do?
Is someone else involved in his life?
What are my options?
My heart has fallen apart
Thank you all for your advice.

I will go back to the first thing I found odd, you saying your mother forbade you from taking a greyhound bus compared to a plane? You did say you are 25. that is an adult and it doesnt matter what your mother thinks anymore about your choices. Any that involve her living and you living under her roof apply as its her house. But your choice of use of transportation is not her territory, but yours and your decision alone. For you to go along with her wishes and cancel tell me something in seriously wrong. It may be subtle enough that both of you can't see it, but mom is controlling you and you are not strong enough, haven't enough backbone to stand up to her. If could mean you've been controlled all your life and as such never had a chance to discover your own self and strengths. I have a suspicion of other things you may struggle with unknowingly but will not bring that up.

So to get back to your questions as to whether someone else is involved? Who's to know? Its a possibility. But if not, then the question that remains unanswered is why he's so warm and friendly at times and goes the opposite the next.

I hope you were over exaggerating in anger when you said that you are the only one initiating contact each and every time. He never does. Because this is a potential issue that could shed some light into your situation. Have you tried waiting to see if he will after some time contact you? this may be the best thing to do as you will soon have your problem solved. If he never contacts you again, then you were never high enough on his prioritys of life to be his true love the woman he wants to be in life long relationship with. this is just the way it is. A friend falls to a much lower position on the totem pole and is not at the top where you imagine yourself to be. You have unintentionally been sending a message to him if you've been to only one to initiate contact, that you are for one...desperate to have a man, and two, that you do not own enough self confidence to look for something better, just settle for less. Deep down, he knows he's been playing you, promises with nothing to back it up, excuses that are flimsier than a see thru nightie. I know you would never want to be seen as desperate or low self confidence but I have studied enough from relationship experts and those are two things his subconscious mind will pick up on, rather than his conscious mind and make him even more resolved to never go anywhere with you. Not to say he isn't going anywhere himself, sounds like he is spinning his wheels in place too. So if two needy people get together, can they expect a rosy future? NO! It will be nothing but turmoil as the both of you fight to lean against the other first for personal strength which can't be got that way. You have to own it, before going into a relationship. It is easy for a heart to been very attached to someone ever if the person is very very abusive. that is one reason abused women don't tend to leave their husbands, fear of a broken heart. So instead they chose to be hurt on a daily basis emotionally or maybe also physically to stay with him because they fear their heart would break and never heal if they left him. As pitiful as it may sound, there are plenty other fish in the sea, and given enough time, and knowledge of how to look for what you want or even know yourself well enough to know what you need and want, you can find it.
I see very few options. Certainly no magic words that will make him want you.
I really don't see the point in being able to claim him as your sweetheart and he profess that too and live together if you are forced into taking care of him. For once he has you there, he won't need to work in his mind, and sit at home waiting for you to bring in the bacon and pay all the bills and never lift a finger. All he'll be likely willing to do is have sex if even that. If he's had 4 jobs in one year, he's doesnt even make the scale of 1 to 10 in how good a prospect hie is for you. Not the fact his is unemployed, many are, but habitually unemployed, most likely points to emotional or other problems he has with one of them, not wanting to grow up and having someone else take care of him, another being a kid in an adult body, wanting to put money towards the immediate thing that interests him most, going to Vegas rather than coming to visit you or inviting you along. Obviously, you dont make his list of top priorities in life. If you continue to go after him, I am afriad, that like me, you will have to learn the hard way. I was in a bad marriage for 30 yrs before I woke up and saw the light and decided to leave him. I hope for your sake, it doesnt take as long.
Good luck dear.

[view]

So, if I had a dream and then woke up not recalling several elements of it, it is possible or even likely that my while awake my imagination will attempt to fill in the gaps, whether or not they are accurate at all?

It's possible. If not, unless you're trying to record your dreams on paper, its nothing to be concerned about. The majority of dreams are not an omen of what is to come but rather the musings of your subconscious mind based almost entirely on your experiences while awake and emotions connected to them. Like watching a scary movie, you may dream something fearful, or you think you love someone and they wont talk to you, you dream about trying so hard to get near the person to talk to them but can't find them in your dream while you are feeling worried or hurt.

[view]

I am 19 year old female, and have been been sexually active with 2 different men in my life. (Not at the same time) and about 3 weeks ago I got my annual Pap smear but I also had a yeast infection. My cells came back normal and everything else was normal aside from the HPV results came back positive. My doctor said the yeast infection could have caused the test to be in accurate, but is that true? She wants to see me back in 6 months, but I am going to a gynecologist specialist, and am going to get a full STD screening. Does anyone know if the yeast infection could have really made the results in accurate and anything about the HPV. Thank you so much!

You asked a second question in the comment box, a place I cant answer from if I see the question aftter so many hours so its safer in the future to go to a persons column and write a 2nd or more questions from their site.

In answer to will you have get cancer, there is greater likelihood of you not having the cancerous version of HPV just due to the numbers. The articles mentions that there are over one hundred different versions of HPV, and only a few are cancerous. I don't believe the medical community has figured out a way to test yet which ones are or they woulda told my friend a long time ago whether she had that type or not. So for safety reasons, thats why they test every single woman annually or more often to catch the moment it might go cancerous. But do not take any chances. You will likely never have any visual symptoms that you even have the virus. It causes genital warts in some cases, but a person can be a carrier of HPV, just like Herpes, and the one who gave it to you has never had any visual breakout or warts appear. this is why so many people have contracted both diseases, because a great majority who are carriers never had any visual representation of HPV or Herpes. If a guy had genital warts visible you'd have thought twice about having sex with him. If a guy had the sores of Herpes on his skins, not only would you see that and avoid sex but I do have herpes and ony late in life did I get my first outbreaks. A tiny spot is already way too painful for a person having an outbreak to even consider having sex, let me tell you. So the only way most people catch this stuff is from others who don't know they even have these viruses in their bodies.
I am not saying you have Herpes too. If you didn theyd have said so. But these two are alike in how they are contracted and passed on, just using the comparison.



Its possible to get inaccurate results in pap smears even with no other unlying issues at the time. I am a way older female and have had many abnormal pap smears that amounted to nothing. So it is routine to wait a while and have you come in in a month or so for another test.
If you still are shown to be positive for HPV, here is what it is.
The human papillomavirus (HPV) is sexually transmitted virus. There are currently over one hundred known strains of HPV. About thirty of these strains affect both male and female genitalia, causing conditions like genital warts and more seriously, cancer.

I know a female who's told me she has HPV and this has been for over 10 years and she has never been found to have cancer develop from having it as there are only a few strains of it that do cause it. But regardless, to be safe, your Dr. will insist on yearly exams or sooner on a regular basis just to be sure to catch it IF cancer did start so it could be caught early.

Heres a link to an article about HPV

http://cervicalcancer.about.com/od/riskfactorsandprevention/a/HPV.htm?utm_term=what%20is%20human%20papillomavirus&utm_content=p1-main-3-title&utm_medium=sem&utm_source=msn&utm_campaign=adid-8eeb2ed6-2091-48ee-b33c-8b566745f004-0-ab_msb_ocode-29592&ad=semD&an=msn_s&am=broad&q=what%20is%20human%20papillomavirus&dqi=&o=29592&l=sem&qsrc=999&askid=8eeb2ed6-2091-48ee-b33c-8b566745f004-0-ab_msb

[view]

So there is is teller that works at my bank. She's been there for a while and sometimes I do get the feeling that she might be interested because she either is more talkative to me than others or makes an extra effort to be the one who serves me (unless that's just in my head and wishful thinking which it could be).

Sorry to use the rather generic and superficial way to classify this but as far as looks go, I'm probably a "6" or in a good day a "7" and on a VERY RARE occasion some with lower standards might put me at an "8". She, on the other hand, is easily a "9" and in my opinion a "10". So, there's a big gap.

I've never been one to easily approach women anyway. If I do, it often takes me months to work up the courage and I literally lament over the language I will use. In the past, I've actually tried to figure out the fewest number of words to get the point across so that I could try to avoid the nerves in my voice.

And I tend to come up with reason, legitimate or not, to avoid asking. In her case, I think about whether or not it might be inappropriate given I am a client of the bank and that it would be awkward banking there if she said no.

So, what should I do? Should I ask her out, and how? Or should I admire her from afar?

I know of many cases and have also read many articles on this, that often, the really beautiful girls who a guy might label a 10, at least those who are nice girls worth knowing, not the wild party girls, never have a guy ask her out.

Here's why.
The partiers, know she isn't going to go get drunk and let them have sex with her just for the fun of it.
If shes the type looking for a relationship, all the average guys wont approach her for fear that they are too average or homely looking, as you say, not in her league. So you don't look like a male model or football player or some such thing.

You have to realize, you are assuming she wants someone who looks like a 10 also. Well, looks aren't everything. With her looks, if she did have the '10 men type' ask her out, and they weren't partiers, she likely found out they were too into their own looks and wanting someone to worship and adore them and not care anything about her. Or they were pretty only on the outside and a hateful arrogant bastard on the inside. The liklihood of a pretty woman finding a male model type who was as beautiful on the inside is the slimmest possibility, next to none. And so she sits, hoping some man will take a chance on wanting to get to know the real her behind the looks. Imagine if you were the woman, wouldn't you want you to take a chance and ask her out?
As to whether it is appropriate or not, yes there may be some circumstances where it is not legal or a law against. Doctors can't alway treat or operate on a family member, let alone their mate, the emotions are too involved to do a good job. A lawyer shouldn't be representing a gf/bf because again they are too close to the matter and they may twist some ethical laws just to get the one they love, off the hook. But someone in a customer service type position, the clerk as a bank, grocery, coffee stand or auto license shop for example is a perfectly good example of when it is not awkward at all. A daughter at a coffee shop got lots of invites. My husband before meeting me, asked out the lady at the car licensing office.

So, I've now very logically taken away two of your hesitations or excuses. The only thing left is being nervous and shy. I think I might have a perfect solution being that she is at work at the time and may not want to have co-workers here or know about you asking and her accepting, you know...avoid the teasing and ribbing. So write her a nice note in which you ask her out and post your number for her to contact. You might have a separate piece of paper in there for her to check off yes or no to your invite and a place to fill in her phone number and a place like 'best time to contact you by phone'. That way she can hand something back over to you. And no words need to be spoken and she will find it totally unquestionable as to why you didn't ask her out loud but in this manner. Once you know she is interested, it shouldnt be as scary to talk to her as you already know you aren't being rejected. good luck.

[view]

21/f
so i have been dating this guy for about a month. i just left back to san fransisco for the summer and he will be in chicago so we wont see eachother for 3 months. we spoke about what to do over the summer vaguely and i thought i was clear in saying we should end things but then i said we could still keep in touch which i think he took as that we are still dating. he calls and texts me and lot and acts very boyfriendy and i geniunly enjoy talking to him but do not want to be "together" all summer and dont really want to pick things back up next year. He likes me a lot though and thinks things are going very well so im not sure how to say i didnt meant that we should stay together without hurting his feelings. just need suggestions on explanations for the breakup, what should i say? do i say its about the distance? should i say im not into it and hurt his feelings? should i make up something about that we want different things or im not ready for a relationship? please help any advice on how to end things without hurting him but also an excuse that he cant argue with and convince me not to end things.

Telling him anything other than the truth will mean getting caught in your lie at some point in the future. For example, using distance as an excuse doesnt work for 2 reasons, one being, if two people who are in love must be separate for a while, that love doesn't dimenish by distance and will still be there once you get back together. The second being that once you are back, that excuse becomes invalid and youd have to tell another lie or finally tell the truth. You compromise your own integrity if anyone ever finds out you lied and you continue to live with guilt.
It may be that this guy is taking the timing of your breakup announcement to be connected to the fact you were traveling away for summmer and feeling that the relationship would suffer and thought this was the solution, when he felt both you and he could keep a loving relationship going until your return. If so, he will assume all things are normal upon your return.

Here's what you need to realize, that when 2 people are initially attracted to each other, there is no guarantee it will stay that way. A month of dating is a perfect amount of time to learn enough about the other person or see if your feelings change and that is the point at which you consider continueing on or breaking it off. it is an inevitable part of the process of dating. When both mutually part, no problem, but its way more likely that one realizes the need to break up before the other and the other may never feel that way. So yes, people will be hurt, but it can not be avoided.

I believe you may hesitate to tell the truth because other than a feeling you have, you aren't sure you can put into words in a way that makes sense as to why you are no longer interested in him. SO I think you need to know and understand WHY you want out before you can tell him and not feel bad about it. I do not know the reasons dear but I can take one good guess after just a month. Those feelings of attraction to him may have just dissapated as days went on and what you felt in the end was no real connection as far as the physical draw. And that is VERY important & a VALID concern as that makes up one half of a successful relationship. If he were a mean, abusive, selfish guy, you'd not feel guilty breaking up. But since he is so nice and makes such a nice friend, you're willing to remain friends with him. I dont think he's will to settle for that only if he wants the romance too. And would only agree to hang around in your life to convince you to want him in that way.
Unfortunately, those things can't be learned or forced over time. What I am saying is that perhaps there isn't a strong chemistry of pheremones between you. When the connection is strong, the passion, desire and love for a person grows quickly and easily. When not, the love is more than of a best friend. If this is the case for you, he needs to know that and the best explanation I know in that case is to simply say, I never felt any chemistry between us.

[view]

Hi, thank you for your advice. I just wanted to tell you that I wanted to ask her out but we only spoken a little bit to each other after that night of sexting one another. i did ask her out in a joking kind of way, I asked her to join me in my hot tub after work, this was the thrid day we spoke to each other. She read it but gave me no reply so I thought I rush it to soon. And then she was offline for two days. On Tuesday she came back online and we spoke for a little bit about our weekend. And the day after that I saw her online again on the dating website so I said how are you? She read it but gave me no reply. I was upset so I just logged off and ignored her because I was assuming she was using me. The next day I message her explaining to her I am not here to play around and that I am intrested in getting to know her.
Thats when she apologized and told me she been too busy to talk .
So we basically left our conversation friendly and civil.

She hasnt been online since last Saturday.

I want to continue our conversation. Get to know each other besides our sexual desires. We only talked a little bit through the week.. She continued the conversation, I thought the first night we spoke she was looking for someone to play with. However, it surpised me that she wanted to continue talking to me. So I let her in and we spoke throughout the week here and there mainly small talk. It was only ine week getting to know this girl. I even gave her my number.
As of now she hasn't been online since Saturday. So I have no idea where she is. I assume she is busy like she said she been no idea. I have no clue what happen to her.

I do want to go to the next step with her but she just disappeared again...she hasn't been on facebook either.

:/

Well, all I can say is that there are different kinds of "Busy".
You know what a truly 'busy' day is and thankfully for most of us, we only get a few such extremely busy days where you can't remember if you ever ate anything that day or when the last time you ate was. then there's the regular kind of busy. Ones job, any evening school or workout time at the gym, running errands, and housework at home. Depending on how well organized a person is, some accomplish this with time to spare to relax a bit before bed. the others are busy until they decide to go to bed.
Now what I am getting to is, that no matter how busy a person gets, they prioritize with importance the things they need to accomplish, and those that they deem the most important to them will get the top priority to get to, no matter how busy they are.

Lets use you for an example. Lets say theres a lady who is interested in you and gave you her number saying she'd like to get to know you. She's pretty much a stranger other than you see her presence often in the schedule of your days. Not knowing how wonderful she is, you have no compunction to call her as she is'nt that important to your in the line up of tasks you have to accomplish each day so you don't make it of importance to carve out some time for her. I do know men can prioritize well and if a lady is very important to him, she'll end up one of his top 3 priorities according to tests that have been done, which I've read about. This means she is going to hear from him because he makes an effort. You would, wouldn't you? Now if just by observances, of this lady, you've already made a judgement call that you're not interested in her or getting to know her, you aren't going to put any effort into answering her messages or calls, hoping she'll get the message by the lack of your response, that you are not currently interested.
Sadly, most people do not think of being honest and at least saying something like, "the few times I've been around you, i didn't feel any chemistry so I am not interested in pursuing anything with you." Ouch, it stings...but it doesn't leave you wondering.
So it all comes down to, "does she already have a preconceived idea that she doesn't like you?"
or could i be that:
there's not enough chemistry felt whenever you've stood near her for her to WANT to get to know you better to see if there could be something between you? There's no initial "draw" like that to make her want to find time, no matter how busy she is to spend time getting to know you. tHATs what held my 2nd husband back from writing to me several times on a dating site, he worked 10 hour days every day of week, sometimes more and Saturday mornings. So he felt he wouldn't have time to give to a relationship. bUt when he wrote, what he had to say sounded just like what i was looking for so I pushed for an appt to see him to meet asap. We met during our lunch hours one day and after that, we knew we wanted to pursue each other to spend more time getting to know each other better. Now married 6 yrs. So it is very possible to take a person one doesnt know, meet and both want to get to know each other better.
If i remember correctly, she lives in same building, not someone at work? This means there's really no occasions for her to observe you and find something that catches her interest.
With women, it takes catching her interest first to have a chance of dating to get to know her. So all you can do then, is to slip like cards under her door, like the "I was thinking about you" kinds. Maybe share a poem you've written or some of your favorite quotes. Not about love or like that, just whats ring true for you, resonates with your heart. this gives her a chance to see ho your mind works, and actually does convey something about you to her. You might also take the time to think about what you would write in the "All about me" section of a dating site that doesnt include your job title, whether you have pets or not, where you've gone to school or how many countries you've traveled to. I got lots of that on dating sites. The guys shared a lot of info but by the end, I still had no clue about anything of their character and personality and thus no idea whether he and I were even remotely a possibility. Take some time to really dig deep, who are you at core? You want a full page letter that describes you to a tee. this is kinda like making a resume for a job only for a relationship. I think more people would be successful in relationships if they knew how to promote themself in the equivalent of a 'resume'. to the person of interest.

You may think you already have. bUT

[view]

Dragonflymagic, you said keep talking and one day ill receive an instant answer, do you mean talking out loud or in my head?

and I have to disagree with the part where you said that the ghosts/spirits that haven't crossed over to jesus cant help me, because before I had been experiencing them, I had been extremely depressed and had chronic pain everyday and feeling like I was gonna have and anxiety attack every day, but ever since ive experienced them daily, ive been so happy, rarely ever depressed, rarely ever feel chronic pain anymore (because when I feel it coming, ill feel touches on my body, and then the pain is gone.), and I rarely ever feel a anxiety attack coming. I just feel more lively, more happy, more motivated. so I cannot agree with you when you say they can't help, and you said spirit guides don't do this stuff as a habit, so it has to be the ones who haven't crossed over.

but what do you mean by "Bu a soul who has remained behind is either troubled in some way?" Like troubled in what ways?

Thank you.

Troubled soul would be a person who didn't think they lived a good enough life to go to heaven, so in fear of the alternative they believe in, Hell, they remain on earth instead of going to heaven. Other troubled souls are ones who died young and didn't feel it fair they didnt get to live their life on earth and hang around to do that as a ghost, or those who were murdered or killed so instantly, they don't know they are dead and wonder who these strange people are who are living in Their house, or they have an important message they need to pass on to a living relative before they go to heaven and remain around waiting to come across someone who can see and hear them to pass their message on to their loved ones, and it can be as simple as needing to tell them where to find their hidden safe with family heirlooms or where their will is hidden, or some such thing.

I meant talking in either way. They can hear your audible voice as well as your internal thoughts.

And no I meant that angels do not do the daily guidance. that either comes straight from God, Jesus or spirit guides. An angel is a different creature from a soul and have never lived a life inside the human body and so, can not sympathize or know what the human experience is like. Jesus however did. And souls who have successfully learned what they needed to, graduate in a way, and have the option of many jobs, one being to be a spirit guide. I have read many books of those who died but were brought back and told what they saw of heaven and from many sources, the story is the same...that a person who died, comes to heaven first, undergoes a bit of training to be ready to go back as someones spirit guide. They don't just stay and start being your guides. All souls go back to heaven first, get some healing from the traumas and trials they also experienced on earth, get some down time to relax and enjoy before being ready and trained to come back as a spirit guide. Times runs different there than on earth so this can occur in what is a short amount of time for us but very long time felt in heaven.

So I stand by my belief that a soul can't truly help. There are however healing spirits, angels and I have called on them too. I do not need them to touch me or those I am doing energy healing for, just to be present to send their healing energy into the person. What you may feel, touches coming from a passed loved one, can be reassuring, that you are not alone. Until a soul has decided to return first to heaven, be helped and then prepared for whatever work they will do later, like spirit guide, they are not operating under God's covering but a lone spirit operating on their own. Until they have received rest and healing as a soul in heaven, they simply aren't equipped and are trying to perhaps do the right thing and help but just in case this is what you have there, they don't even know yet what the plan for your life is yet and the lessons you were meant to learn and God's perfect way, unique plan customized just for you to learn by. A soul who hasn't gone the normal route back to heaven first, is operating on their own will, and that is like a human who thinks they are better than the law and doesnt need a police baddge and the law behind them and becomes a vigilante, thinking they are doing the right thing...and yes, getting rid of bad guys is a good thing but there's too many things that can go wrong. Same here with souls who are not plugged in to their source, God, by having returned. they are still operating only on human thinking standards in wanting to help which are very limited. I am glad you are feeling help and anxiety leaves when you are touched.
But wouldn't it be better to have god working with you either directly or using those he's assigned to you to help you grow in a direction to where the things inside you that cause the depression and anxiety are taken care of so there is no longer a need for healing touches? A bandaid solution is what you have. Its better than nothing but I personally would rather be healed of the cause of my issues than treat the symptoms only. I wish you the best dear.

[view]

Like I feel Jesus in my house and wherever I go all the time, but I also feel there's a few ghosts/spirits following me. I don't feel afraid in any way at all. I feel very safe, like they really like me. I don't know if they're the ones I've been hearing when I'm trying to sleep, but they could be. Like I feel their presence ALL THE TIME. I feel their presence on my skin a lot. And I often feel my arm being tugged at and my clothes too. I hear an intense ringing in only one ear often too. And my dog barks at nothing sometimes too.

How can I contact them without an Ouija board? I wanted to do it with meditation since that's one of my favorite things to do ever. These ghosts/spirits don't do anything scary like turn on water faucets or slam doors, but I sometimes hear bangs that are too loud to be done by a rat or some small animal or some pipes or whatever. And I know there's no one in that room when that happens. And those bangs don't sound like a tree branch had hit the outside wall or anything like that.

During meditation, I was wondering what I could say to them and just how I could contact them. Thank you. :)

Developing ability to internally receive messages (telepathically) and send them to Jeus or any other ccreature on the spiritual plane is how it works for most people. Some feel they need to speak out loud or say special words or even meditate. But that is not so. What it takes is practice. I have conversation with Jesus, my angels or other spirits in normal talk, just as if talking to a live person, I dont use King James speech or flowery words. God knows what you are going to say before you speak if talking out loud.
The problems is that you aren't able to recieve the incoming responses, it doesnt mean they aren't sent. We can sent but not recieve at first. But dont stop. Keep talking even tho not hearing back and one day you'll be surprised to hear an instant answer in your mind...a thought you recognize not as your own but God answering you. Angels are at your service to protect and await you speaking first to ask them to do something. If whatever you ask to know, recieve in knowledge is something best for you not to know at this point in time, no one on Gods team is going to say anything, that goes against the reason of why you are here. You are not to be influenced and told what to do, what choices to make by the spirit world. Your life and decisions is entirely yours to make whether for better or poorer choices and sometimes the exact lesson you had to learn in this life was best taught by first making the mistake on your own.
So if you have spirits telling you what to do...they are out of line, do not listen to them for they may not be working for God and could be a part of the Fallen angels system led by Lucifer.
When I met my spirit guides, I questioned it. Never accept that just because they are friendly, that in the long run they mean you well and are working as part of Gods team. I asked God and was told that this was on the level, if I had heard the opposite...I would have asked protection of my angels from whatever entity these so called guides were. I also felt I might have imagined the whole thing and once I knew God said it was okay, i asked these guides to confirm they are real and I gave them the scenerio which I wanted them to follow to do so. I had two I wanted, one was that I get tapped on the head or shoulder at some point during the upcoming weekend when no other human was anywhere near me to do it, and the other, to superimpose their image upon that of another human. Both happened. Wishful thinking? Maybe but only if I focused on it and my mind tricked me into thinking it happened. But no, in my case, I totally dropped that request out of my mind and never gave it another thought. So when sitting an evening in a chair at a friends house, I felt a tap on my head and thought one of their kids who'd been sent to bed, snuck out and was playing games. I quickly looked behind my chair and saw no one.
So, yes, while its possible to be touched on rare occasions and felt the touch of an entity from the spiritual plane, it is not necessary as a general habit and daily practice. There is no purpose to it as it is more distracting than it is helpful and this one thing raises concerns for me that you may be dealing with actual souls of people who died but never crossed over to Jesus. That is necessary first. If such a soul is sent back to act as someones spirit guide, that's all fine. Bu a soul who has remained behind is either troubled in some way or doesnt realize it is dead and is not in any position to be of any real help to you growing as a person or growing spiritually.

[view]

So I graduate from high school in about 2 weeks time, and when I think about it, I become quite sad. I will miss the teachers the most because all of mine at the moment are the best I have ever had. Some of my friends I am going to miss, because they are all planning on moving far away. I am also going to miss the routines the most, and on graduation day, I wouldn´t be surprised if I cry. Did anybody feel like this when they finished school?

Yes, the majority of people graduating feel this way. All my friends were crying but I on the other hand was eager to get on with my adult life as I was tired of the mostly immmature people I had to deal with growing up in school other than a handful of friends. So there will be a few who don;t act this way. But it is normal. Don't try to hide or be ashamed of how you feel, just go with it, Its all part of this transition from childhood to adult hood.

[view]

So a few days ago I had a really bad cold, had been taking several different cold medicines throughout the day, hadn't eaten much and was tired. It was evening, a close friend of mine was going to come over after she was finished at an event later so we could watch some T.V, drink and just bullshit around a bit and take the edge off.

I don't drink very often, and normally don't drink a lot, but I decided to drink a little before she got there, I had two of those little UV vodka shot things you get for like a dollar at a convenience store, and about the equivalent of maybe a shot or two of Spiced Rum mixed with some soda in about an hour.

Which normally with that much, I'd maybe be a bit tipsy, but no where near plastered or actually 'drunk'. But for some reason it hit me really hard. I remember getting up for water and stumbling a bit, and my eyes would not focus. Besides the fact it just felt strange, not a normal drunk.

I fell asleep, and when my friend got there and I woke up, I was a little better but still felt it greatly, and we started playing a little drinking game and just talking, not doing much. And after a little bit, even though I hadn't had much more maybe a couple shots worth at most over another 2 or 3 hours, it was just as bad if not worse than before.

The next day, she told me I could barely walk, was incoherent part of the time and all around couldn't handle myself until I fell asleep, which if I had drank a lot more, I wouldn't be concerned but normally that much, as I said earlier, would get me a bit tipsy, not plastered like I was that night. I'm not the best at handling myself drunk either, but I normally can a bit better than that too. And besides the fact that it was just strange, I remember most of it and I don't remember feeling that drunk, mentally at least.
I don't know if being sick, or not eating or what could of been the reason for that, but I've drank before both on an empty stomach and when I was sick before and that never happened... I don't know, let me know what you guys think.

Hon, just so you know, this doesn't just happen with cold medicine but can with prescription meds too depending on what you've been prescribed. So in the future, if you are on any kind of medication, it's best to not drink at all as with certain drugs there are bad drug interactions where alcohols effect can be tripled or more. THE moment you first felt this, you should have stopped. I can understand forgetting, I did once when I was taking pain meds prescribed before I could see my doctor and daughter offered me wine with dinner at her house. got halfway thru the glass and felt it and felt silly for forgetting but stopped right then. So avoid alcohol in these circumstances or stop the moment you remember and feel the effects and yes, its a different drunk feeling than the normal one.

[view]

I'm 14/f and I dated one of my good friends.
He was my first boyfriend and I was his first girlfriend so we didn't know what do most of the time. We dated for a month and we didn't do anything serious; we kissed 2 times but it was just a peck, we held hands for a total of three times and he was a good friend of mine but then our relationship was strained once we broke up. I miss those late night conversations we had. We'd always talk about random stuff, ask each other rethorical questions, talk about the world, or just vent out and have a good time. He always made me laugh when I was sad and I him. I usually sat next to him in elective classes and we'd tease each other and tell each other to be quiet at random moments when the other wasn't even talking. It was a shock to me once I figured out that he liked me and I thought long and hard about what to do before he asked me out. In the end, I obviously agreed. Now him and I rarely talk and if when we do it's awkward a lot of times. We still have those intimate moments where we just cuddle with each other and people always think we're dating when we both decided to just be friends. I just miss him and the way we used to be towards each other. He doesn't even trust me anymore and it saddens me. I want our relationship to just be natural but we either make it awkward or neither of us know what to say or do so we just stare blankly at each other. How do I save our friendship/relationship without seeming too desperate or needy. I just want him in my life because he always seems to make me happy, he's like dopamine for me. I want to be there for him but he doesn't open up. Like I want to be friends but still have those mushy gushy moments where I just want to cuddle with him and still kiss him on the cheek without him thinking I want him back. I don't know what to do anymore because I feel like I've done everything I could but I don't want to give up because I know he still cares about me and I care about him. I don't want to let him go because i somewhat need him. What do you think I should do cuz I'm out of options and scared that one day he'll tell me to back off and I don't want that. We rarely even talk so I'm definetly not suffocating him whatsoever.

Sorry for this being so long... :/

Few teens your age would use the word dopamine no less understand what it means...so I understand there is a certain level of intelligence in you. So I can understand why you'd not want to lose him. However I am not clear on why you broke up to begin with. Keep in mind that its actually common at this age to have very short term relationships.
If he gave you no reason, perhaps he didn't know how to put it into words.

Let me take a moment to shift here and mention what it takes for a solid healthy relationship with a sweetheart: 1. being best of friends (somethin it sounds you already have with him.
and 2. to have romance between you. Its not something you can force to happen, its more due to the pheremones a person is born with and they all vary some. Its something invisible our bodies emit that will attract another person romantically and sexually.

Based on that info, being great friends first was a good thing. I guess he was thinking it would automatically be easy to be romantic as well, but when he tried moving on to that part with you and tried the bf/gf kind of stuff, he didn't feel the passionate feelings of excitement that come along with it? Which is an indication of either nervousness of youth, and inexperience clouding the real thing, or it indicates there is no chemistry. With lack of chemistry, you just can't hope for the kind of relationship you want. Wanting to remain friends is an understandable reason but what it sounded like you saying is that you want more time together as friends, not only for your need but because deep down you feelings or romance towards him havent changed and you hope with more time he may become comfortable with that. Well, as I explained, it all depends on the reason he pulled away. Either way, the two of you need to talk. So if he won't meet for a talk, write him a letter over the net on whatever site you are both on where a letter could be private.

What do you say or write? Whatever you say, don't mention how much you need those certain qualities in him in a plea to get him back. Yes, it sounds selfish, thinking of yourself and not what he's gonna get out of the relationship, and yes, sounds desperate too. However a good place to start would be to ask him what he was looking to get out of a relationship with you as a friend and the same question regarding girlfriend. What he wanted may not match what you were expecting. When we are young, we don't tend to want to make a long term commitment to the very first nice person we get close to. Why? Because deep down our subconscious knows it lacks experience in dating from multiple experiences and you will second guess whether this is someone you can be happy with the rest of your life and him the same too. If you find him still staring longing at you but choosing not to talk, you are probably right that he still has certain feelings for you, whether friendship only or more than that and just scared or unsure of himself.
He needs to know all your thoughts on this and he needs to know that you won't push him for more than he feels comfortable giving. give a list of compliments of what it is you like about him and how he meets those needs in you whereas others dont. You might ask what it is about you that he likes. I will caution you not to ask for too much at this stage. to tell him you want those mushy gushy moments with him will likely confirm for him to keep running away is best, especially if he feels no chemistry.
I want you to know that IF there is a chance of just friendship but no romance EVER, then are you okay with no mushy gushy stuff? For boys at this age, that stuff is reserved for girlfriends only, the romance girlfriends. So it may be a bit much to ask, even if you've both done it before, first love can be like that. However, as he gets older, and finds a girl he really likes romantically (if this is the situation) and she feels the same about him, she will not stand for, no less understand her boyfriend doing mushy gushy things with a girl he claims is only a best friend. When two friends who are opposite sex finally do meet their romance partner later, those partners may not be understanding of and actually jealous of any past dating relationships let alone such close friendships.
Just want you to keep those things in mind as you attempt to get him to open up. Sometimes guys think they are sparing your feelings by NOT sharing whats going on in their head. Heck I've had older mature men to the same to me. You need to let him know if this is his thought, that the opposite is actually happening, that it hurts you worse not knowing whats going on, cus females aren't like guys, they need to know. And let him know he can tell you anything without you crying or throwing a hissy-fit. You might be sad if what he shares hits you that way, but you wont try to influence by theatrics so he's safe to open up and share with you. thats a big concern for guys so they truly dont know how to share their feelings for these fears and also lack of experience in dealing with such matters. If your reassurances don't help him open up, there isn't anything else you can do.
You will have to move on, and take all those things that you like and treasure about him and look for them in the next guy. Never settle for less but hopefully someone even a step up from him. eVEN as an adult after a divorce, I couldn't see anyone being any better, until I actually met him and was blown away. We all are not likely to believe we can ever find someone else let alone them being as great or even better. So I fully expect you will feel the same and thats normal. But some talk is definitely needed so try what you can to say those things or write them to him. Write a written note, walk up to him at school and simply say, please read this for the sake of what we had as a friendship. Smile, and leave him be. good luck.

[view]

(Homosexual dating)


I've been talking to this girl I met online since last week. I never met anyone online or that held my interest until I met her, I have many women like my profile yet she stood out the most. Online dating is new to me, I perfer to meet women offline but I haven't gotten any luck with that and I hardly go out. Anyways, I wasn't sure what to write to her. I just said "Hello, How are you doing?" I just thought hey give it a shot. And suddenly after introducing ourselves and tell her that I never dated a women before it's my first time. We started flirting and teasing one another to the point that we began sexting each other.
She seem very interested in me yet I felt like I was being used because how quickly we both went into sex without even getting to really know each other only reading each others profile.
I don't know if we will be a good match because we have our differences however so far she was the one that made the first move and asked me why I am intrested in her.
Two days ago I hardly talked to her I couldn't get her off my mind but I was waiting for her make the move. I thought she disappeared or was avoiding me.
It bugged me because I been lead on too many times that I am done with playing the game. I'm going to be honest and bold show people who I really am and don't hold back because I had my heart broken many times.

I never really talk about sexual things to anyone so easily if they weren't interested. I'm blunt so excuse me if I offend you.

and she said

Dear i am sorry if i upset you honesty. I didn't mean to offend you, I really enjoy chatting with you and getting to know you. I was not playing...so much...I guess thats how I am.
This week was super busy with work and commuting. So i have not been chatty so much. I apologize I would never want to hurt your feelings. I loved starting to get to know you and also had alot of fun flirting with you. I hope you don't mind that."

I told her I really appreciate her honesty and i enjoy our conversations too and hope to continue them. I told she can contact me anytime.

She complimented me saying that I am sweet and cool. I told her it'll give me time to adjust to talking to her cause I thought she was playing me but now i just want to take this civil and friendly to hopefully something.

I'm wondering do you think she's still interested?

I am wondering the same as Rahhie, why haven't you taken this to the next level. I'm not against internet date sites, I used one. Its how i met my current husband.
You have 2 choices as to how you use a dating site. One is that you decide to allow the internet date site to be used as a tool to learn of the existance of another and within a few days, start talking on the phone.If online often with her like every day, then by time a week or two has passed, you set a date to meet at a local coffee shop. (Its no big investment meal wise if the person doenst turn out to be a good match or doesnt show.)

Or your other choice is to remain forever in the internet with her where the net is limiting as to what you can experience with her. So much has to be imagined in the mind as ones emotions get sucked into the 'play unfolding in your mind" It
is nothing more than theater of the mind until you take it into real life. Even I had a time where after 2 weeks of phone chat with a guy every night had me thinking I found Mr. Right. (this works same way for same sex dating dear) So my examples still apply.
So I met the guy at a restaurant and I was soo very dissappointed, he turned out to be nothing like what I had thought him to be by the things he said. Had no real chemistry with him at all once we talked in person. As if he was two totally different people, that differing from the person I met online. The longer you stay in the net, the less possibility there is of it every becoming a real relationship.

So my advice is to take this into the real world ASAP and that should answer any lingering questions as to whether she is someone who will work out for you or not. If she isn't willing to meet with you or fails to show up consistantly, then she has been just playing around , not serious. So if you are serious about finding someone, then the logical step is to take this to the next level.

[view]

Hahahaha..I am just testing you guys too see what you guys are gonna respond the concept is awesome it's almost as close as Facebook and you guys to know how much Facebook are worth the only downside to this concept are what you guys just responded bad or good I think there's still need to be patient if you guys what to grow but overall I would love to invest to your company

I have no idea what you are talking about, investing in our company. If you mean you want to financially donate to support Advicenators, even though he hasn't asked for donations, I suggest you take this up with Dangernerd, the creator and owner of this group.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker