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I want to ask out a woman who is physically out of my league
So there is is teller that works at my bank. She's been there for a while and sometimes I do get the feeling that she might be interested because she either is more talkative to me than others or makes an extra effort to be the one who serves me (unless that's just in my head and wishful thinking which it could be).
Sorry to use the rather generic and superficial way to classify this but as far as looks go, I'm probably a "6" or in a good day a "7" and on a VERY RARE occasion some with lower standards might put me at an "8". She, on the other hand, is easily a "9" and in my opinion a "10". So, there's a big gap.
I've never been one to easily approach women anyway. If I do, it often takes me months to work up the courage and I literally lament over the language I will use. In the past, I've actually tried to figure out the fewest number of words to get the point across so that I could try to avoid the nerves in my voice.
And I tend to come up with reason, legitimate or not, to avoid asking. In her case, I think about whether or not it might be inappropriate given I am a client of the bank and that it would be awkward banking there if she said no.
So, what should I do? Should I ask her out, and how? Or should I admire her from afar?
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You aren't going to like this, but there is no responsible way to convey romantic interest to someone in circumstances where they are professionally obliged to be polite to you.
Thats not an excuse you are coming up, that is a totally legit issue. Asking a woman out where she works, and you are a customer, is just not respectful.
By all means talk to her, but don't put her on the spot with a date request while she is working. Ask her questions about her life and get to know her better. If she is interested in you she might clue you in on to where she might be outside of work, where she goes to lunch, or something she does outside of work. If she doesn't do that, or if she avoids answering questions about her life outside of work. assume she is just a friendly teller.
What 'league' she is in really doesn't matter in this case. Because you met her at her place of work, where she has to be kind to you, you are going to have to get her to invite you into her in life in some non-work way, before you can even ask her out! So really, there is no reason for you to stress over this. Keep on talking to her and being friendly. If she is interested in any more than that, she'll open that door. If she doesn't, ah well, you know a friendly teller at your bank.
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I know of many cases and have also read many articles on this, that often, the really beautiful girls who a guy might label a 10, at least those who are nice girls worth knowing, not the wild party girls, never have a guy ask her out.
Here's why.
The partiers, know she isn't going to go get drunk and let them have sex with her just for the fun of it.
If shes the type looking for a relationship, all the average guys wont approach her for fear that they are too average or homely looking, as you say, not in her league. So you don't look like a male model or football player or some such thing.
You have to realize, you are assuming she wants someone who looks like a 10 also. Well, looks aren't everything. With her looks, if she did have the '10 men type' ask her out, and they weren't partiers, she likely found out they were too into their own looks and wanting someone to worship and adore them and not care anything about her. Or they were pretty only on the outside and a hateful arrogant bastard on the inside. The liklihood of a pretty woman finding a male model type who was as beautiful on the inside is the slimmest possibility, next to none. And so she sits, hoping some man will take a chance on wanting to get to know the real her behind the looks. Imagine if you were the woman, wouldn't you want you to take a chance and ask her out?
As to whether it is appropriate or not, yes there may be some circumstances where it is not legal or a law against. Doctors can't alway treat or operate on a family member, let alone their mate, the emotions are too involved to do a good job. A lawyer shouldn't be representing a gf/bf because again they are too close to the matter and they may twist some ethical laws just to get the one they love, off the hook. But someone in a customer service type position, the clerk as a bank, grocery, coffee stand or auto license shop for example is a perfectly good example of when it is not awkward at all. A daughter at a coffee shop got lots of invites. My husband before meeting me, asked out the lady at the car licensing office.
So, I've now very logically taken away two of your hesitations or excuses. The only thing left is being nervous and shy. I think I might have a perfect solution being that she is at work at the time and may not want to have co-workers here or know about you asking and her accepting, you know...avoid the teasing and ribbing. So write her a nice note in which you ask her out and post your number for her to contact. You might have a separate piece of paper in there for her to check off yes or no to your invite and a place to fill in her phone number and a place like 'best time to contact you by phone'. That way she can hand something back over to you. And no words need to be spoken and she will find it totally unquestionable as to why you didn't ask her out loud but in this manner. Once you know she is interested, it shouldnt be as scary to talk to her as you already know you aren't being rejected. good luck.
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