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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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I'm a girl, and started masturbating at around age 6. I started by basically humping a stuffed animal or pillow til I reached orgasm. I don't even know what made me figure it out. I've never been sexually abused and knew nothing about sex or even masturbation until around middle school. I'd do it in secret and as a young kid I remember feeling incredibly ashamed about it afterwards and never telling anyone about it.
I am 18 now, and know it's completely natural and everything but I still remember how much I used to feel that masturbation was a dirty little secret and made me different from others when that is not the case. Even when I'd read about it being natural and common online it just seemed like such a lie. I just could not believe it. When I just started earlier than others. I'd do it about once or twice a week, which is still pretty consistent with me now. Just like how sometimes I'd go for 1-2 months without doing it at all.
but yeah, so basically I had my period at age 10, right after i had orgasmed in my bedroom. like I remember going to the bathroom to pee and seeing blood when I wiped myself and crying and thinking I was dying from my vagina. and then i told my mom about the blood (never had a masturbation or sex chat with my parents, we dont have that kind of relationship) and she's like "it's something to celebrate!" and I'm like wtf. cause this was all a few months before I had even learned about puberty in school (via the pancake movie) so it was all new to me. and then when my periods started i had to use birth control cause they would last too long, like 2 weeks each. and i'd get horrible cramps so bad that for years i'd have to miss one day of school almost every month, on the worst day. my mom had bad cramps too, growing up, but her period started later. my older sister (one year older than me) never had troublesome cramps, and her period started about 2-3 years later than mine. little sister getting her period before big sister, despite the fact that i weighed less than her, and we ate around the same foods. she's about 7 inches taller than me now, too. but she's always been one of the tallest girls in her grade. i was above average as a kid, but ever since puberty, i'm now just average.
so my periods would be so bad i'd have to take 2-3 different medications, use a hot water bottle, and crouch on the couch. not really anymore, but for years i'd always throw up at some point, and have a runny stomach.
but anyways, so i'm just wondering if i hadn't masturbated that time.. or even at all, would my period have happened later? did masturbating make me mature faster? it bums me out cause it makes me wonder if it has stunted my growth, as both my parents are above 5'8", my sister is 6'0" and i'm only 5'5". could i still grow 2-3 more inches? i really hate being this short.
i exercised quite a bit at that age, so it couldn't have been from lack of exercise. and i didn't get much sleep during my teenage years but around age 10 i got plenty. my diet was probably healthier than most other american kids my age, too. sometimes i'd sneak a sugar cube but it's not like my parents were buying me mcdonalds and cookies everyday. my mom would always cook healthy meals and i'd bring healthy lunches to school
Relax you're normal in all respects that you write about. Masturbation played no part in your early maturity; it is just who you are. Somewhere down the family tree an Aunt, or Grandmother also matured early.
As to masturbating at an early age? The age of 6 is not all that early. Infants masturbate especially male infants. Why? Because it feels good. Watch an infant when they are in their cribs on their stomachs. They will sometimes rock themselves. They do this to calm themselves because it feels good though they are for the most part masturbating. The urge to do this goes away for awhile then returns again later in life. Male infants do actually get erections they just do not ejaculate.
The only thing that has happened to you is you as the saying goes, bloomed early. Nothing you did or didn't do caused this to happen. so relax and enjoy your sexuality.
Okay, so I'm home schooled. I have mild dyslexia, but its never been much of of a problem. Now, since like 8th grade(I'm a sophomore), I've been having problems remembering and understanding things I learn. Especially in math. I will learn something, take a test for it, then forget it completely.
In math I'll read what im supposed to do 5 times over, and still not understand if I even remember it at all! If someone explains it I might remember for a little while, but then I'll forget it again.
Is this a part of dyslexia or something?
Any insight will be greatly appreciated.
No it is not part of dyslexia it is something different. My niece suffers with it and had problems with it in school. She had to work with a special education teacher to learn to deal with it.
Since your homeschooled mom needs to find out, by having you tested, just what this is and how it affects you and to what degree. So she can learn how to help you overcome this. She may have to hire a special tutor to help you.
If you have not said anything to your mom then you need to. You need to learn how to deal with this in the manner it affects you so it does not affect your abilities later in life.
So could u loose your virginity by using a dildo, and sticking it up your vagina?
The accepted definition of virginity or being a virgin today is: Someone, male or female, who has not had sexual intercourse. Meaning a male penis has not penetrated a female vagina. It only has to happen for a split second to lose one's virginity.
What you are talking about is breaking your Hymen. Back long before the 1960's and the sexual revolution. It was accepted that a female was a virgin only if her Hymen was intact. In some cultures this is still true today, though not in most western cultures.
Today with all the activities a female can do that was either not allowed years ago, to things not even thought of in the way of activities they now can do. It is possible that a females Hymen can be dislodged without any penetration of her vagina. Even the use of a Tampon can rupture the Hymen without the women's knowledge she has done so.
Because of all this the acceptable definition today is for female virginity is: Vaginal intercourse with a penis. Once this has occurred she is no longer a virgin.
I just told them about him today, and I've been dating him for several months. He's quite a bit older than me, but that's not the problem. He also lives very far away (he's come to visit me multiple times). My parents say it's the combination of the two, and they don't like what he does for a living - he doesn't make enough.
I'm 18 years old and just started college. I wanted to visit him over winter break, but my parents said that if I go, they're not paying for my tuition next quarter.
I'm not breaking up with him. What should I do? Do I have other options? Thanks
You are 18 years old; technically and legally you are an adult legally responsible for yourself. What this means is you do not have to listen to your parents and your parents are no longer under any legal obligation to cloth you, feed you, house you, school you or in any manner be responsible for you.
That is the legal side of things. The moral and loving side of things is entirely different. Being old enough to be your grandfather I have been where you and your parents are right now. Call it a Mexican stand off or a game of chicken to see who is going to blink first.
Yes, as your parent I want to see to it that you get an education. I also want to protect you to the best extent I can. If the only weapon I have at my disposal to make you see what I believe is wrong or force you to see it. Then I might have to use that weapon. This is what your parents are doing.
You don't say how much of an age difference there is between you. Frankly I do not think it is the age difference that worries them. With daughters our biggest worry is unwed pregnancy. This is what worries them by you spending the winter break with him. They know sex will be involved and that scares them.
Sure you may be sexually active at school and your parents may even think you are. If they do they might feel that your sexual activity is infrequent enough that the odds of pregnancy is lower. Where as spending the entire winter break with him would probably mean frequent sex and greater chance of pregnancy. You could still be a virgin and you will not be able to allay this fear for them.
What I am sure of is your parents love you and want the best for you. While legally they do not have to support you their love for you allows them to do so until you are capable of doing so. From that point on they will be there in the background so to speak to fill in where you may need them; financially and otherwise.
My son for instance is twice your age. He makes more money that I do, which is the way things are suppose to be. But he has more bills to pay than I do. Also the way things are today. He is trying to buy a house. Buying a house even before the first mortgage payment has it own expenses. So like my parents did for me I am doing for him. I am filling in the blanks in his finances when he needs to pay for something and he is short. Things like this are what parents do out of love not any obligation legal or otherwise.
So what are your options?
You could play the game with them and see if they blink. I don't know your parents so I can't say if they will or will not.
You could do as they say and in effect live to fight another day.
The third option is to find a compromise. Remember the definition of compromise is to find a position neither party likes but both parties could live with. One such idea that comes to mind would be to ask mom, dad or both to accompany you to wherever the BF lives. In this way they one of them or both has the opportunity to meet him and they also are in effect chaperoning you as well.
As I said not the best solution to your problem but one I think you can live with.
So my boyfriend and I have been together for two years and he has a child from a previous relationship. I love her to death and think of her as my own. After he had his daughter he received a vasectomy so he wouldn't have another accidental pregnancy. well a few weeks ago I started getting abdominal pains and throwing up. I didn't think it was a possibility but I took a pregnancy test just to be sure. Well low and behold it came out positive. Twice. So we go into the doctors and they run a test and confirm I am 6 weeks along. Well, I am still going through school and right now my mom is dealing with cancer. I feel like having a baby is just not the path for us right now. I want to own a home and have a life set before we involve another child. We went in and found out his vasectomy did not hold and that Is why we got pregnant. We will be getting his vasectomy redone and we are strongly leaning towards terminating my pregnancy. I feel guilty and horrible but if I can't give my child a proper life it isn't time yet. We both did briefly consider but ultimately we have decided to end it. Is it natural to feel emotional about this? I feel like I am letting go of a child I will never get to know and feel bad they don't get the chance. (So I don't need anyone preaching about it being wrong it is my body)
I also have to decided to opt for the pill. What are the side effects and what should I expect? Is this going to make me even more emotional? And how long will it be before I get my period again? Any advice both to cope emotionally or to help me prepare my body would be helpful.
First things first. Right now you are in the first trimester of a pregnancy and your hormones are running wild. You are going to be very emotional because of this one factor. Then add in all the other pressures you have and yes the churned up emotions you are feeling are normal.
You are also correct in that this is your body and ultimately your decision. What you are feeling is also normal.
As for the decision to go on the pill, that is a good one also. As to having his vasectomy redone you may want to rethink that if you wish to have children by him in the future. If the vasectomy self reversed, which does happen, it is one thing. Medical reversal of a vasectomy resulting in the ability to impregnate someone are not that successful.
The pill is almost 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. Back that up with condom usage and you should not have to worry about accidental pregnancy.
As to your questions about the pill. I'm not a doctor and if I was I'm not your doctor. Since everyone's physiology is different the side effects as well as how the pill will effect you will be different. I would suggest you research the different medication available and then discuss with your doctor which in his or her mind is the best medication for you based on his or her knowledge of you.
You have every right to question your doctors choices. An informed patient is a healthier patient.
my boyfriend had sperms on his hands but then he wiped it off with a hanky and then he fingered me, is there a chance of me being pregnant
As xenolan said the chances are extremely small about 1 in 100,000 I would venture to say. TO put your mind at rest and relieve the stress you are putting yourself under take a home pregnancy test.
Why are we recommending you do so? Primarily because if you do not you will continue to stress out over this. Stress does strange things to us. In women it is the biggest killer of your period. If you do not take a home pregnancy test and find out you are not pregnant I can almost guarantee you will miss your next period.
The volume of letter received over missed periods are the result, about 99%, of stress not pregnancy. A simple home pregnancy test will set your mind at ease.
I know your thinking what if my mom finds the test kit. Go to a drug store and find a kit you want. Read the instructions on when you should test. How long you should wait before taking the test and when to test when you do test.
Buy the kit the night before and put it in your purse or book bag. Then in the morning when you go to take your shower take it into the bathroom with you. Open the package carefully because you will want to repackage the kit when done. Take the test. When you have the results are shown repackage the kit, take it back in your bedroom and place it back in your course or backpack and dispose of it at school.
Now if you get a positive test don't freak out. There are more false positives than false negative especially with the more inexpensive kits. Wait 5 days and test again. If you get a negative you are not pregnant.
As I said again the chances are minimal if his fingers were dry that you are not pregnant.
how can i have sex but stay a virgin without a doctor finding out ?
It is not possible to have vaginal intercourse and remain a virgin. The definition of a virgin today is someone who has not had vaginal intercourse. For a female that means a penis has not entered her vagina. Once a penis enters her vagina even for a second she is no longer a virgin.
You can have any other sex and remain a virgin by definition so long as your vagina is not penetrated by a penis. You could engage in oral or anal sex. You could even put a dildo in your vagina and by definition would still be a virgin mostly in name only.
As for a doctor knowing that you had sex. Not really the only thing the doctor can tell is the your Hyman has been ruptured. Since the Hymen can be ruptured in many other ways including the use of Tampons there is no way for a doctor to tell if your a virgin or not. Unless of course there is semen in your vagina when you are examined.
One thing you may not know is that by Federal Law if you are over 14 years of age you have medical privacy for anything relating to your reproductive system. This means even if the doctor could tell if you were having sexual relation the doctor by law could not tell your parents. Not without written permission from you.
This law was not written as license to have sex. It was written so that young people would seek medical treatment for anything relating to their reproductive system that they might fear telling their parents about. Young people may also seek answers from doctors on any questions they may have about their reproductive system.
This law allows for you to make appoints to see and be treated by doctors without parental knowledge or permission. Parents cannot be told what you have been seen for or treated for. Records pertaining to treatment of anything related to your reproductive system are confidential only you can release them.
This confidentiality means mom can no longer be in the exam room with you if you do not want her there. All you need say to the doctor is I invoke my rights under HIPPA.
While I don't know your age if you are still in school and under 18 I would suggest you reconsider having sex. You have a life time to enjoy a sex life. Now is not the time to engage in recreational sex. IF you are headstrong about having sex then you need to ask the doctor for birth control. You have the right under HIPPA to ask for this.
Even though your parents insurance may be paying the bills this still doesn't not give them the right to violate the medical privacy afforded you under HIPPA. I could pay your medical bills and I would not have the right to see you medical information.
its been 2 months since i haven't seen him, and if i don't see him soon then i wont see him till february which is in two more months. i am crazy about him, i know he is my life, and im willing to skip 4 days of school and a lot of money to see him for a week and a half. all my friends tell me its stupid, but i want it so badly, my heart is telling me yes yes yes!
This question requires some grandfatherly advice. Since I am of that age I will offer some.
While you may not want to believe that I was once in your very same position, back in the dark ages of Boom Boxes and 8 track recorders. I know exactly how you feel. Now with decades of behind me and raising of my children and helping raise my nieces I can look back and see what I did right and what I did wrong. This is where the wisdom of age comes from.
If you and your boyfriend are truly in love and I don't doubt for a minute you are not. Then the extra 2 months will make your seeing each other all the more meaningful and loving. With love it is possible to make up for lost time. With school work you might make up the work you missed but you will never make up the class time. As to the money whose money are you spending. yours or your parents? A $1,000 is a lot of money to spend money that can be better spent during spring break when you and your BF can be together longer and with possibly more privacy.
Today you have Skype, Facebook, cell phones and texting as well as other ways of instant communication. In my day we had Ma Bell and she was expensive. Depending on how long a distance that long distance phone call was and the time of day of the call it could cost over a $1.00 minute. Back then a dollar was worth a whole lot more than it is today.
With the social media we have today it is almost as good as being with someone. I know for I use to travel quite a bit. With my laptop and Skype I was home every evening no matter where in the world I was. I could look at my beautiful wife and kids. We had dinner together and I could do homework with the kids. I may not have been physically in the room but I was there.
All of this being said. My advice is if you and he have a computer and are not using something like Skype then start. It is the next best thing to being there. TO take time off from school and spend $1,000 on a romantic liaison is just not the right thing to do. School is the most important thing right now. You have plenty of time for romance when you are finished with your education.
I know I sound like a parent or a grandparent but I am being honest with you. I know you're hurting to see him. Young love is supposed to be like this. Just think how much more romantic it can be when you can see him and have the time to appreciate being with him. It's not stupid how you feel it's just not the proper use of you time, money or the education you're paying for.
How? How on Earth do some people get hired? What can help me get hired? I swear they lie to us in high school about everything. I'm 18, college freshman. So far it's nothing what they said it would be. That's one lie. The second, branches out into many lies about lateness and "professionalism." I have friends who work at places such as McDonald's who show up late everyday, can barley speak English, have horrible attitudes, have no experience, go to interviews with ripped pants, smoke and drink, act ghetto, (My friend's manager uses the "N" word ON THE JOB!!" yet I cannot get one. Even after resume reviews and changes (Very short one at that as I have no experience) I've lost track of where I've applied to. The only interviews I've had were at Guitar Center twice. Nothing. It pisses me off even more when I see employees do things like text while talking to me, that happened at the movie theater. What can I do, resume, interview, action wise to improve my chances? And I'm not talking about some BIG suit and tie job. I'm applying for like dish washing and cashier jobs, minimum wage jobs. At my second interview, the guy said they have training for people with no experience so yeah. I recently applied for dish washing and had to answer over 220 questions. It requires 3 months of experience at a restaurant. But I mean c'mon most people have been washing dishes half their life by 18. It's really aggravating me. I put all this effort into optimizing resumes, knowing about products and the company, preparing for the interview, being better dressed than the interviewer and other interviewees. By the logic of my observation, if I show up to an interview late with wrinkled clothes, I'm GOING to get the job.
It sounds to me like you are looking in the wrong places possibly for work. People looking for minimum wage positions do not generally show up to an interview with a resume. Neither do they make appointments for interviews. You are right when you say they are not dressed in any manner you or I feel is appropriate for an interview.
The problem is the managers are looking for these type of people as they tend to stay with them longer than someone like you who is just there to earns some, shall we say, pocket money to meet some expenses while in school.
Regardless of the positions you may be applying for there is a training period, yes even for dishwashers, that everyone goes through. Just about the time you're properly trained, and you would most likely train faster, school would be over for the summer and you might leave to go home. Then they have to find someone new.
The other possibility is that these managers see is. These minimum wage positions are not very rewarding personally or fulfilling. That you would become bored with them and look to move on once you have a work history.
This is what I would see in you as a manager looking to hire for a minimum wage position. If I am correct you have two choices. You can dumb yourself down by discarding your resume, dress yourself down and be someone you're not. The better alternative is to look for part-time job at a level above minimum wage positions.
The Christmas rush is about to begin in earnest in just over a week. Many department stores are looking for GOOD help at decent pay. These jobs start as Christmas fill in positions. Though for some, that are eager and hard working they can turn into long term employment at full or part-time positions. Many department and retail stores will try and keep the best of their Christmas help.
For the store their Christmas help has a two-fold meaning for them. They have extra help to handle the crowds and they have a try out period to select from to retain the best of the seasonal help.
Based on what you have written; I believe your best chances for employment at this time is to apply at the retail stores and department stores for the Christmas rush. Then when you are offered a position work your butt off to be one of the few that might be retained after the rush is over.
I fully subscribe to the theory that one must dress for success. This means even if you are applying for a job as a ditch digger you give that person's office the respect it deserves. It does not mean a suit and tie is required. But clean serviceable clothes in office casual is a good start. You and I are of this belief; unfortunately we are in the minority. It was also unfortunate for those people that interviewed with me for I'm sure I turned away many a candidate who were well qualified based only on their appearance. Stick to your principals for they are value based and will serve you well.
How is sickle cell anemia a genetic disease? I dont understand how that really works.
There are certain diseases that have been found to pass from parent to child genetically. Meaning it is passed through the genes the child receives from the parents. A child receives half its genes from its mother and half from its father at time of conception. It is because of this unique makeup we are able to identify people through DNA as your genes are unique to your parents and siblings.
If within the genes you inherit from your parents is a gene for sickle cell or any other inherited disease. Then you are more likely to be affected by that illness but not always. It could remain dormant in you and you pass it along to your child.
Certain forms of Cancer is thought to be genetically passed from parent to child. Doctors also believe Heart Disease is a genetic problem as is diabetes and other illnesses.
Considering what there is yet to learn about Genes and gene mapping what doctors know about genes would literally fit on the point of a pin. There is whole lot yet for them to learn. When they do they will be able to stop genetically passed diseases or cure them.
21/F
Hi everyone! I am in need for some help. I'm the type of person who makes everyone else happy over themselves. I beat myself up over everything overthink everything and look really down on myself. So what my issue is my grandparents have a place in florida they live for the winter. They invited me and my cousin down to come in like january. My grandparents are getting really old and my cousin offered to drive their car down. My grandfather is hard of hearing and kind of just told her yeah. So for months she is thinking she is driving their car down with her friend and im like okay I will just fly. So up until recently I keep telling my grandmother that my cousin says shes driving her car and she denies it everytime. To come to figure out my grandfather told her shes not driving and he didn't realize he told her she could drive so he offered to pay one way for the both of us to clear the air. So im like I need tickets asap before they get too high. So I texted her and said hey im going to book this date to this date should I book it and she responded with no. So I don't know what to do. I know she really wanted to drive the car down but im like stumped. Do I just go and book the ticket on my own? I cant wait any longer. Do I not do it? I have a problem with people being mad at me. She is like my best friend and I don't want something silly to break us apart. I feel like this is such a good deal if my grandparents are going to pay one way? I might be being over dramatic. what is your opinion? thank you!
If your grandfather has offered to pay half the cost of your airline ticket then you buy the ticket. Regardless of how well off they may be they must be living on a fixed income. The sooner you buy your ticket the less it costs both of you, which is the right thing to do for both you and your grandfather.
As for your cousin if her feelings are hurt because she cannot drive your grandfathers car to Florida, that is her problem. It is also her problem if she cannot get a flight on the same day you travel, the same flight you travel on or the same price you pay. It is also her problem if your grandfather should decide only to reimburse her the same as he reimburses you since you booked early enough to save both of you money.
Being of the grandfatherly age and living on a fixed income myself. I would probably do something like that if one of my grandchildren waited to the last minute to decide if they would buy a ticket and the other booked early to save money.
There are lessons to be learned and she should have at the very least confirmed with your grandfather his intentions the first time your grandmother told her she was not driving the car down to them. She didn't and if she thinks she is going to make them pay by costing them more money she may find herself stuck at home while you are relaxing in the sun.
So buy the ticket as I do not think your grandparents will change their minds in regards to the car.
20/f
I've struggled with my faith since I was in high school. It started when I didn't think I was leading the life "God" wanted me to, so I started going to church more. I read my bible every day, prayed constantly, changed how I treated others, and even tried to clean up my thoughts. However, the more I read my bible, the less I believed that there was a god. Then I started researching. Long story short, I don't believe there is a god and I've been an atheist for about 2 years.
I'm not ashamed of that in any way. In fact, my life has improved greatly because I don't feel restricted by religion. I don't mean that I sleep around and do awful things without fear of consequence, I just mean that I do things for their moral value, not in hopes that I'll be rewarded after I die.
My problem though, is that my family is SUPER deep in their Christian faith. My grandparents raised me in the church of christ. While I'm okay with their beliefs, they strongly influence our family. I get dirty looks if my tattoos are showing, no curse words are allowed, etc- while those are all things I can deal with, it's things like their homophobia I can't comprehend. It's honestly stressing me out with the holidays coming up. They don't know I'm an atheist, and half the conversations they have involve topics we would STRONGLY disagree on. I can't even enjoy time with them because their views differ so greatly from mine.
My uncle in also very confrontational and I'm just afraid that if I speak up, there will be a huge ordeal and I don't want my family upset with me.. especially for something I don't think ANYONE should have a problem with! Also, I don't want to be afraid to voice my opinion. My question is, if there is a confrontation, how do I calmly deal with it? I know I'll want to scream and feel the need to defend myself which will end up making me look dumb. What do I do??
First of all you at age 20 are an adult in all manners of the word. As an adult you are entitled to you beliefs as you see them. It is expected that your grandparents will be hurt to learn of your choice to be an atheist as they did their best to raise you in the religion of their choice. The operative words hear are; "your choice." Your choice is a freedom we enjoy in this country and no one should hold that against you.
I personally am an Agnostic for I believe in a higher power and for a lack of another term I will call that power god. Religion to me has become nothing more than big business cloaked in folk law and fire and brim stone. This to me is not religion. To me religion came to be in place of law when there was no law. Others feel differently, you fell differently. This is our right.
As to what to do? For the short time that you must spend with your family you can be a bit of a hypocrite to yourself and take a grin and bear it position. You do not have to take a stance on anything that is spoken concerning religion when with family, especially the elder members of your family. If called upon to speak on a subject you can say you weren't paying attention or you don't have an opinion. You can also just spew out what you learned as a child just to placate the situation.
If you love your grandparent and Uncle and in all other respects enjoy being with them. Then there is no need in my mind to upset them and possibly face being ostracized from the family. Our family, especially the elders of the family, are only on this earth for a finite period of time. To me staying in the closet on this when with them is a small price to pay to enjoy their company while they are with us.
If they were more tolerant of differing views my advice would be different. From what you have written their very intolerant when it comes to religion and some other views. Trying to change their views or having then accept you with your views I see as being harmful to you.
Still as I said at the very beginning. You are now an adult. You have freedom of choice. It is your choice to remain silent or to challenge them by informing them of you religious views. It is my opinion to inform them of your views will hurt you more than them.
Was there any place in the Philippians not damaged by Typhoon Haiyan? Nothing I google seems to help with the answer.
My heart goes out to everyone who's been effected by the Typhoon.
There is a full page picture on page A8 in the Washington Post Newspaper. It appears that the brunt of the storm went through the center of Philippians. It would appear on the Central Island of Luzon that everything North of Manila was hit with winds of about 35 miles an hour, well below Hurricane force.
I would think if you go to http://www.washingtonpost.com you should be able to see the map and view where the most destructive force of the hurricane hit.
I've only made out with guys and by now I feel like sooner or later I'm gonna go further more likely sooner. And I'm just wondering is it weird if you get fingered by a guy and you cum on his finger or you discharge on him?? I know that I get off easily if I'm hooking up with a guy I get horny so that's why I'm saying i know it's gonna happen. But I'm just paranoid if I get fingered like the last thing I want is for him to pull his finger out and be disgusted. I take very good care of myself and hygiene but I think that would be gross or that they would be grossed out. Also if your getting fingered like as the girl what do you do?? Just keep making out with them or what haha? Thanks
Relax that is what is supposed to happen if the boy does his job right. It is also what is supposed to happen if you masturbate. This is a normal bodily reaction to having an orgasm.
I would suggest that if you are allowing a boyfriend to go this far with you that you get on birth control as well. While it is not possible to get pregnant from fingering. It is very easy to go from fingering to intercourse even if you never meant to.
While the physical reaction, the discharge, is over quite quickly. The emotional reaction takes time to recover from and you are very susceptible to allowing a boy to go further than you may normally allow. This is how teenage girls end up pregnant. They have sex when their guard is down and the boy does not use a condom.
If you are over 14 you do not need parental permission to get birth control A Federal Law called HIPPA, look it up on the WEB, which allows for the confidentiality of all medical visits, exams or treatment of the reproductive systems of any one over 14. Also allows any doctor to prescribe birth control. Just tell the doctor you want to invoke your rights under HIPPA.
-I am female
My boyfriend conner and Me are both 16. He was my first kiss only recently, We have been dating for about a month (ONLY!). He is sooo sweet to me and wants to make sure he doesn't upset me... But I know that he is not a virgin (and he drinks) and that he has been VERY sexually active (one night stands, etc) I am a virgin, never been touched by anyone or anything. Im christian, and previously was/am planning on saving myself for marriage, or at least until I'm older. I am (was?) as innocent as i could be, honestly. My parents are very very strict, an are putting a ton of pressure on me from the opposite end. Recently he has pushed me toward getting more physical. At one point I told him that we were moving too quickly, and he backed off for a while, but then continued to push farther. I really like him, I don't want to ruin our relationship... He is very involved/ dedicated in the relationship and has made it clear he is looking for a long lasting relationship. We have discussed some of the points above...
I feel like we are sooo so so early in our relationship. He understands that I was to move slowly, but I don't think he realized how slowly I want to go! I'm not prepared emotionally to give myself away, especially to someone who I wouldn't yet say that I love.
The main problem is that I'm horrible at saying no. What my body and heart tells me is contrasting directly with what my brain says. We have gone farther than I care to go, mostly because Conner is pushy after I tell him no... And I don't know if it's to late to backtrack? Im sure he expects sex eventually, but I don't know if I will be ready for that huge step ANY time soon, probably not. I'm not good at communicating my feelings out loud, and it's making me anxious.
Just in case you want to know, we have gone as far as: making out, him touching me over (minimal) clothing, and basically dry humping... (Yikes)
I'm acting on impulse when I'm with him like this, and I feel a little different about this situation when we are apart. I do like him a lot, I feel like I want to have sex much later (even when we are apart), but I think the guilt of my parents and religion would ruin it for me? What if it doesn't work out?
HELP!!
I am much older than most of the adviser on this site. In fact I am old enough to be your grandfather. I am also very liberal in my views especially when it comes to sex.
Let me start by saying Conner is a player in my view. Boys his age do not define love as girls do. In fact to most teenage boys lust and love are synonymous. Many boys his age will tell their girl friends that if they loved them they will have sex with them. You may hear this from Conner. I believe you are in a manner of speaking already hearing it from him by how fast he is pushing past where you are willing to go. Don't allow him to do this.
Don't have sex with him to prove your love for him. Sex is not meant as a tool to prove your love it is the natural outcome of the love two people have for each other.
My advice is to tell Conner that you are not ready for sex and he has pushed you further than you want to go. If he is truly interested in you then he has to prove this to you by backing off or you do not want to see him anymore. I suspect that once you say this to him you will not see him any more for he will leave you.
Conner is a first love for you. First loves can be very meaningful at least for the women/girl. Unfortunately you are not Conner's first love and I feel he has an agenda which ends with having sex with you and then he will move on to another. This is what makes him a player.
I would suggest that as much as it hurts you let Canner go and find a nice boy at church who has the same principals as you do. Will you remain a virgin until your wedding night. I can only hope you do, most of us have not and will not. For those that do, especially the women, they are giving their husbands a very special gift that can only be given one time. For the right man, your husband, it is a most meaningful gift.
I'm 19 years old, and i live in Quebec
and I what to now what you can do if a Boy is touching and starring at my boobs.
I do not know much about Canadian laws. Though if someone is touching you without your permission in private places such as your breasts. That is considered sexual harassment.
Canada does have very strict sexual harassment laws that they strictly enforce when a complaint is filed. You should talk with your local police department if you have told this boy no and to stop. If he has continued to harass you in this manner after you have told him not to he is in violation of the law and you can press charges.
If your town or province does not have a local police department then you should contact the Mounties. When you talk to the police or Mounties you can inquire about the stalking and see if his staring at you qualifies as stalking.
The first step though is you contacting local law enforcement where you live and filing charges if they ask you to. This may be the only way to get him to stop and a tough lesson for him to learn.
I juspt want to die
If you are familiar at all with this website then you must know that helping you die is not something we will do for you, if that is what you are asking. If you want to live then we will do all we can to help you.
There is no problem so large that death is the only answer. I realize that at the moment you are in a lot of pain. Pain causes depression. Depression causes us to see things not as they truly are. It causes our perception to be off. Though since we perceive it as such it is real to us as perception is real. So understand that what you may see, hear or feel may not be truly be what has been said or what you are seeing.
Since you have not said what is bothering you. The only help I can offer at the moment are places you can turn to for one on one help through hotlines answered by trained call takers.
The first place to turn for help is of course the 911 emergency line. You do not need to be a certain age or have anyone's permission to call. Just dial 911 and tell the call taker what is bothering you and help will be sent to you. If the problem is with a parent abusing you, sexually abusing you or a sibling is. The police cannot be turned away. They will insist on seeing you and will take you someplace safe.
The next hotline is the National Suicide Prevention hotline. It operates 24/7 and is answered by trained call takers. No matter what problems you are dealing with, They want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you'll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.
If the problem is something to do with bullying at school or other social problems or problems that young people tend to have. There is another hotline called Kids Help Phone. This line also is answered 24/7 and is for people under 20. Their number is 1-800-668-6868.
The last hotline is for people that may have suffered some type of sexual abuse or rape. It is called RAINN and stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network. Their number is 1-800-656-Hope. If you have been raped or abuse in some manner they can help you deal with it. This is not something you can hide from and takes professional help to deal with. They will work with you and help you find the right professionals in your town to work with.
as I said this is generic advice based on what I know to be the top reasons people want to die. Any or all of these people can help you if you let. Dying does not solve a problem. It just creates problems for those you leave behind.
Thank you so much for your help I was so scared to even think i was jail because i am pretty much a good girl i have never had any problems with the law and I want to keep it that way . I guess I just panicked over nothing thanks so much .
I'm glad I could help.
No one specifically said they were offended. I was told that in case someone was though and they complained trouble can happen
So you personally feel nothing is really wrong with it?
If this is the question about the teacher as long as no one complains there is nothing to worry .
so I have this gym teacher in high school teaching my gym class who is young, (younger than 30 I think) really pretty and good looking and red headed, and she teaches physical education and English and so we are doing the swimming unit and while in the pool she was walking around and she then said to me and some of my friends later when we were walking back to to change that she likes the swimming unit the most because she likes to look at all the male students without their shirts on in the water and she can see how fit you really are
the comment doesn't bother me in the slightest , but if some kid who was around me decides to go cry about it, will she get in trouble? I talked to a friend of mine about it (who wasn't there) and he says it is wrong and she should get in trouble but I don't see why, If she was actually doing anything then I would agree. I am not going to say anything, she is a really good and nice teacher and I will not get her in trouble
even if she does get in trouble, should she really
Twenty years ago nothing would be said of that comment. Today we are hung up on pedophilic teachers in our schools. While she may have meant nothing by what she said; and why wouldn't a physical Education teacher be interested in the fitness of her students. Today that statement could be grounds for dismissal and possibly the loss of her teaching license. Possible even a police investigation of her and even searching of her home and computer looking for child porn.
It would all depend on how you principal decides to handle this and if the boy who was upset by her statement complains to his parents. If he does and his parent file a complaint with the school then an investigation of the teacher has to be started and most likely a police investigation as well.
If a male teacher were to have said something to the effect; the he liked the swim class because it allowed him to see how well the young girls were developing. The same thing would happen to him if a complaint were to be filed. For today these comments are deemed inappropriate regardless of how benign they were intended.