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how can i have sex but stay a virgin
how can i have sex but stay a virgin without a doctor finding out ?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
I'd like to build on what Adviceman said. It is true that today, most people consider 'virgin' to mean one hasn't had vaginal sex. However it is a bit of an antiquated way at looking at becoming sexual. For example, two gay men or two lesbian women, don't have the right parts to have vaginal sex. So really, at what point is someone no longer a virgin, when they've given a blow job or had one?
Discovering our sexuality starts first with becoming comfortable with ourselves, exploring our own bodies and sex organs and masturbating. When ready to make the next step to having a sex partner, it can happen in stages, from kissing to vaginal sex and everything else in between. Since a dr. cannot tell if you have had sex, he would have to ask if you have. And yes, its all kept private and confidential. There is no reason to lie to the Dr. if they do ask if you've been sexually active, they will likely want to know only if you've had pain with sex or if you're on birth control and having an side effects, that sort of thing.
You can get pregnant without vaginal sex. All it takes is precum or some semen from the penis getting anywhere near the vaginal opening or some of it being on his hands as he fingers you. Usually at this stage a guy isnt wearing a condom yet and so its still easy enough to get accidently pregnant if not paying attention to these details. For this one reason, I prefer to suggest if you are considering becoming sexually active that you get on a more trust birth control, one thats already set up in your body, either taking a hormonal bc like the pill, or the non hormonal IUD if you get reactions on the hormonal ones. The IUD is a good investment as it lasts 7-10 yrs once placed in utero. But you would use the condom to still be safe against STI's.
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It is not possible to have vaginal intercourse and remain a virgin. The definition of a virgin today is someone who has not had vaginal intercourse. For a female that means a penis has not entered her vagina. Once a penis enters her vagina even for a second she is no longer a virgin.
You can have any other sex and remain a virgin by definition so long as your vagina is not penetrated by a penis. You could engage in oral or anal sex. You could even put a dildo in your vagina and by definition would still be a virgin mostly in name only.
As for a doctor knowing that you had sex. Not really the only thing the doctor can tell is the your Hyman has been ruptured. Since the Hymen can be ruptured in many other ways including the use of Tampons there is no way for a doctor to tell if your a virgin or not. Unless of course there is semen in your vagina when you are examined.
One thing you may not know is that by Federal Law if you are over 14 years of age you have medical privacy for anything relating to your reproductive system. This means even if the doctor could tell if you were having sexual relation the doctor by law could not tell your parents. Not without written permission from you.
This law was not written as license to have sex. It was written so that young people would seek medical treatment for anything relating to their reproductive system that they might fear telling their parents about. Young people may also seek answers from doctors on any questions they may have about their reproductive system.
This law allows for you to make appoints to see and be treated by doctors without parental knowledge or permission. Parents cannot be told what you have been seen for or treated for. Records pertaining to treatment of anything related to your reproductive system are confidential only you can release them.
This confidentiality means mom can no longer be in the exam room with you if you do not want her there. All you need say to the doctor is I invoke my rights under HIPPA.
While I don't know your age if you are still in school and under 18 I would suggest you reconsider having sex. You have a life time to enjoy a sex life. Now is not the time to engage in recreational sex. IF you are headstrong about having sex then you need to ask the doctor for birth control. You have the right under HIPPA to ask for this.
Even though your parents insurance may be paying the bills this still doesn't not give them the right to violate the medical privacy afforded you under HIPPA. I could pay your medical bills and I would not have the right to see you medical information.
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