Brandi_S's advice column | Page 165

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Gender:

Female

Location:

Kansas

Occupation:

House wife, Mother, Local Loon

Age:

35

Member Since:

July 15, 2006

Answers:

3333

Last Update:

March 11, 2013

Visitors:

128909

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hitler_the_goat

about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.

I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.

Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.

Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.

I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.

advice

how do you french kiss?

Ok here are some sites to check out... Hope this helps you!

http://teenadvice.about.com/cs/kissing/ht/frenchkissht.htm

http://www.links2love.com/teens_french_kiss.htm

http://www.links2love.com/teens_kissing.htm

hey im a 26/f married,and i recently found out that im pregnant and i need some creative ways to tell my parents and my inlaws, im my parents only child so my pregnancy is really going to be exciting for them and i'll be the first pregnant out of my husbands family too so i need some thing really good and creative. thanx a bunch

Either take or mail them a card that says "Congratulations Grandma and Grandpa"

me and my boyfriend are expecting a baby in february. we are obviously not married- but im wondering if when it comes, will it obtain my last name or his?- i was thnking itd have to be mine- since hes not really my spouse- but is there any way can request that it has his last name if needed?

If there is a father named on the birth certificate, the baby will have his last name, whether you are married or not. If you don't put the father on there, it will have your maiden name.

i already aproached one columnist to help me out with this one- but i need all the help i can get. to make a long story short, i need to know a place where i can get free prenatal care. my guardians have pretty mch given up on me and told me im on my own- so i need help guys- PLEASE! 5's for all answers- helpful or not.

You don't have to rate me a 5, first off. If you don't like some one's advice, don't rate them good rates for unhelpful advice. If you don't like my advice- be honest and say as much. Because, to be quite frank, I like to know that someone thinks my advice is good, but I'm not here for a rating. I give an honest answer and you can take it or leave it, because ratings shouldn't be a reason for people to help others. I don't really care if someone likes my advice or not.
Now. About your situation...
You should apply for a state medical card. That will pay for all of your expenses, even if you are under 18. BUT you have to have a paper from the doctor or the health department that says you are pregnant before they will give you a medical card.
You should do that, and GO TO A DOCTOR! If you go to the doctor before you get your card, it should cover any doctor visits 3 months prior to when you applied. At least it does here in Kansas, and probably every other state as well.
You can go to your local SRS office or your county health department. They will help you get the medical you need. Also, the health department can get you WIC assistance so you can get the nutritional foods you need. (Milk, cereal, juice, eggs, etc. Then when the baby comes, formula and stuff the baby needs.)
You said that you approached a columnist... Was it me? I got a inbox notice, but when I went there, it said I didn't have any unanswered questions. So- if it was me you asked, that's why I never answered.
If you want, get ahold of me and I will do what I can to help you. I suggest you get ahold of my by way of my email address so you know I get the message, and so we can correspond a little easier. I can try to look up some information for you, but you will have to at least tell me what state and county you live in so I can get you accurate information.

My email- blrks05@hotmail.com

Doctors recommend it but yet and still so many Americans turn they nose up at! Why do you think so?

I'd say maybe it's do to the fact that formula is more convenient, or that some women can't produce enough breast milk.
Or, like in my sister-in-law's case, her kids had to drink formula with iron because they needed the extra iron that she couldn't provide from breast milk.
Or it could be that so many women choose to have careers, and are only allowed leave from work for a short period of time, so they don't have a lot of extra time for breast feeding all of the time.
I will be having a baby in March, and I hope to be able to breast feed my child, because I know that when mothers breast feed, they bond with their children better.

Tomorrow I'm dying my hair for the first time. I am soooo nervous because everybody knows me as the girl who has the pretty, long, hair. I felt I had to do a major change in my life so this is what I chose. I'm cutting my hair way shorter and then going to like a local drug store, and buying dye and then I'm coming home and dying it! I want to know if this is a good decision or not. Like half my friends are like go for it! and then the other half are like... please don't do it! I personally felt I needed to do this for myself. I want to go for a natural look and stick to the similar color but I want people to be able to notice I dyed it and it's a BIG change. Is this right, or should I not do it? By the way I'm 14/f.

Yah, I've dyed my hair for years. Before I was even your age. (and it's been basically every color of the rainbow and beyond lol)
So this is pretty long, sorry about that!
Should you do it or should you not? Hmm. Well, do it if it's something YOU really want to do. It seems as though you are looking for a change, and I understand completely. So if that is the case, then I say do it!
Just remember this one fact: permanent dye is permanent! You have to allow it to grow out and cut off the dyed hair, and it will begin to look very ugly in the process! Or you will just have to keep dying it. So be sure it's what you want.
Now, there is this stuff called "Casting" you can use that lasts for up to 28 washes. I would suggest you use this at first so you know it is a color you want. Just be sure to follow the instructions exactly and you should be cool. If you have light hair and choose a dark color or a red, it WILL stain your hair. So choose wisely.
Be careful when picking out your colors because they seldom turn out as it looks on the box (or the little hair samples they sometimes have out for you to check out). It has always been in my experience that it comes out a little darker than you want it to. However, if it's a little too dark, you can suffer with a dry scalp and wash it several times because it will lighten a little with each wash (even with permanent color).
You can try to ask your hairdresser who's going to cut your hair any questions you may have, but nine times out of ten, they will say you need to let them do it.
You could also try some hi-lites to subtly change your hair color, and it doesn't look too bad as it grows out, because it blends in pretty well. If you go this route, I HIGHLY suggest you use a kit that has a cap and a hook, or you will most likely end up with blobs of lighter hair that will take longer to blend in and hair lightened that you didn't want lightened.
With that kind of kit, you put the cap over your hair and pull out only the strands you want to lighten with the hook. You can do the top and sides of your head yourself, but you will most likely have to have someone pull your hair out on the back.

How many miles away from Columbia, South Carolina is the Eiffel Tower in France? is there a search engine on the internet that can show EXACTLY how many miles from south carolina in the us is from the eiffel tower??? any search engines? Note MAPQUEST DOES NOT HELP! please i need this for an assignment!

I wish I could help you, but everything I tried to search failed. I guess it seems as though you can only map distances in the United states and Canada from South Carolina.
The only thing I can tell you is to do it the old-fashioned way. It's very simple to do. Lay out a world map and use the distance measurements from the legend and measure between Columbia, South Carolina to Paris, France. If it has to be more detailed than that (you have a picky teacher) you can print a map of Paris from the Internet. Then measure from the middle of the city to the Eiffel Tower and add that distance to the other.
If you have to do these figures by using the computer, I think you may be S.O.L. unless someone else on this site knows differently.

i have this friend and one day ill be hanging out with her and were laughing and talking a lot and having a great time, but then the next day comes and shes all mad at me for no reason. i mean, its not like i even say anything mean to her. is it something she doesnt like about me? or is it just her personality?

I can tell you, that it isn't you. Your friend is the one being a jerk.
Has she always been that way, or is it something recent? If she's always been this way, it is just the way she is. If it's recent behavior, maybe she has something bothering her or angering her and she takes it out on you because you are convenient to vent on.
Have you talked to her about the way she treats you? If you haven't you might consider doing so.

i havent even made out with a guy yet. like ive been planning on to, but i guess it just hasnt happend. a few times i got peer pressured into it, but i would back away cause i dont wanna everyone there watching. i just get uncomfortable. i just want it to be the right moment with the right guy. and im only 13. is that normal that i havent hooked up with a guy yet?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. You are exactly right in wanting to wait for the right guy and the right time. How can it be special to you if you do it because your friends try to tell you to?

My friend Jessica is dating this guy Chris. They have been on-and-off for about a year now & they are currently in a stable relationship .. or so I thought. Jessica won't hookup with him & Chris says it doesn't bother him and that he'll wait till shes ready but it's getting to him. Jessica is scared because shes never madeout with a guy before and she has problems with being intimate. Thing is, they've been dating for four monthes now and hes really starting to wonder if they're ever going to. Jessica does weird things like not calling him & hanging out with other guys/flirting with them because she can't be tied down to one person (I've known that) She won't breakup with him because she says he's sweet, but every other day she has a problem with him. Hes shows affection in the simpliest ways (like writting her cute notes & daily phone calls) and it seems to scare her. Its like, she won't go farther than just a peck on the lips .. but she wants to stick with him .. but she wants to be free to flirt with other guys? I'm always caught up between their problems & trying to give advice to each one but I just have no idea what to do anymore. I need to know what to say to each of them & hopefully they'll finally settle their problems. We're all 14 btw. Sorry this is long & thanks.

I hate to say this, but sounds like she's too immature yet to be tied down to one guy. But if she's going to be out flirting with other guys, she needs to let go of this one.
I imagine it has alot to do with she's maybe still stuck on Chris.
They just need to find themselves and what they really want and maybe then they will get back together. Or drift apart. Whatever is best will come around in the long run.
It is good for you to be a good friend to both enough to give them a shoulder to lean on, but I'm afraid all the advice in the world isn't going to help them. You guys are 14, so your friends need to give themselves a chance to age some and mature more.
I don't know of anything you can say to settle their problems. They own those problems, not you. So they are the only ones who can settle them.
Just hang in there and hope for the best for them.

Alright, i just got a puppy, and hes 7 weeks old, hes a golden doodle mix (golden retriever/poodle), and he humps his blanket...and other random objects...hes only 7 WEEKS old...is that normal?

any advice you have, i'd appreciate!
thanks

Yah that's normal. Believe it or not, even female dogs do it!
Alot of the reason dogs hump on things is because that shows empowerment. Meaning, your dog is showing your blanket he's more powerful. I know it sounds weird, but it's true.
If you get him neutered when he's of age to do so, he will probably stop.

this past whole day and yesterday night ive been having a really abd headache
i took advil
but it didnt seem to help.
im not sure if it because of the heat
or my sinuses
i think it might have to do with me being in the 100 heat yesturday while swimming in my friends pool
and then getting burned
but headaches are the worst feeling ever
especailly since they dont go away!
someone help me?!
P.S. i do have really bad sinuses and i have cleratin and nasonex. but i havent been taking it. i just re started today
(sorry for my bad spelling!)

Well, I know how much that sucks. I, too, have sinus problems and i get occational migrains as well.
I suppose it's possible that your continuing headache is caused by the heat, but I'm not a doctor so I can't say, "yep, that's the problem."
But it might be a good thing to call into your family doctor and at least ask the nurse if it is something to set an appointment for. (You will probably have to leave the nurse a message and get a call back later.)
They have all of your history for your sinus problems, so they would be the best to contact.

I just got my tongue pierced. I have these 2 white veins under my tongue. They lead to the tip of it. The one is like hurting and it feels like something is being pulled or something. Its very uncomfy. it feels like if i stretch it or something it will snap and wont be as tight? Its weird. I dunno if this is normal and its just a nerve or what?

Someone please explain? Is it normal? help?

I had my tounge pierced and I can say I never experienced anything like that.
The best thing I can say is that you should contact the place where you had your piercing done, either by phone or stopping by. Accually, stopping by so they can see what you are talking about would probably be the best of the two. They know ALL about your piercing and what can happen, and if it's something of concern or not.
Also, if it's uncomfortable and has been more than 2 weeks since you had it pierced, you may need to go to your family doctor, or find a piercing-friendly doctor.

i met this guy the other month through a friend..and he seems realli sweet and always textin me and phoning me...but the problem is he lives too far away! i have feelings for this guy and always thinking about him and want to be with him.
does this mean im madly in love with this guy even though we cant see each other?

I don't know if it means your madly in love with him or not, but I know that many people have long distance relationships that they are happy with.
The best thing I can think of is to be sure to keep up the comunications with him. Hopefully someday you can get to where you can see him more often and maybe a good relationship will bloom.
If he's really sweet like he comes off as being, you definately want to try to keep ahold of him. He may feel the same way about you too.

my boyfriend is wants to have sex, and, im cosidering it. im 15, am i old enuff? i know about being safe and all, and i dont need to be lecture about how its not right cause the bible says its rong, im not religiouse. i just dont know if im old enuff to be having sex.

I don't know if you are legally old enough. That all depends on what state you live in i think.
I would say it depends on if you are ready. Do you feel comfortable having sex with your boyfriend at this point in time? Meaning, is it something YOU want? Or something he's maybe been pressuring you for?
I know you said you know how to be safe, and you don't want a lecture, but I just want you to keep in mind that having sex at 15 is a BIG decision. One that you have to make for yourself, not based on what your partner wants. Just PLEASE keep in mind, that you can be safe against sexually transmitted diseased, and pregnancy, but no method of protection is 100%. Some STD's are treatable, but some, just like pregnancy, are something you have to live with for the rest of your life.
Do what you feel is best for YOU. And always be safe like you say you know how.

ok well i babysit for 8 or more hours i get there at 8 and then leave around 2,3,4,5 and im soooo bored! i dont know what to do like they dont have T.V basically and there computer talk about old no internet im so bored of reading a book and my sister wont let me like listen to her ipod sometimes and im affraid to call ppl you can hardly hear ppl. so what do i do there. the kids dont do ne thing most of the time and well i need to get that ipod next week i can stand it! ne more!!!! oh ya and my b.f is like grounded form the computer so no Iming or w.e

I wish I could come up with a better answer than this one- save your babysitting cash and get yourself an ipod, so you have one for your entertainment. That is, of course, if you aren't saving your money for something more important such as college.
Other than that, I don't know the age of the kid(s) you are sitting, but maybe you can take something along that you are interested in that they can be involved in too. (such as crafts, or board games, etc.) I was a bored sitter once too, and doing stuff with little kids, i found, can pass the time quicker than you might think.

My best friend is just like me exact! i mean we say all the same thing at the same time and everything! she taly alsome! we do everthing to gether.Do u think well stay best friends?

I don't see why you wouldn't as long as you don't let foolish things and petty arguments come between you and break you apart.
Congratulations on finding a friend that you connect with so well!

15/f

i'm thinking about homeschooling. i have people that im aquiantences with but nobody really friends with. i thiiink i might be depressed but i cant tell because i dont have suicidal thoughts or cut or anything and around some people im really happy, but other people/places (school) i tend to get fake happiness or whatever. my mom would only like to do 1-2 years of homeschooling and idk if i should just do this sophmore year and my last 2 years homeschooled, or just do this year. i already have my schedule and it sucks they put me in a ton of classes i dont like, the ones i do like, i dont know anybody in. i kind of just want to be homeschooled this year because i want to live int he moment and do what makes me happy, and not always be cautious. i made up a list of pros and cons of homeschooling and every single one on the "con" had an IF in front of it. IF i dont get classes with people i know. IF im a little behind, etc etc. i also kind of want to do it this year because we are probably going to be in war or whatever with this whole iraq thing and isreal and stuff...what if this is my last chance to do something for me?? and i tottttttttally sound like all negative and depressive and giving up but i dont want to be or sound like it at all but i dunno what to do.

sorry it was long.

First of, no worries about Israel, they are our allies, and Iraq is only a threat to those that are there. (pray for our troops!)
If you choose to home school, just keep in mind that you will not be able to socialize daily with those who are your peers, and if you are depressed, that would do you more harm than good.
However, homeschooling does have benefits, I'm sure, but I don't know much about it.
When it comes to you class schedule, is there any way you can transfer to classes you like?
When it comes to the ones you do like, but don't know anyone in, it gives you the opportunity to meet someone new. Also, if you don't know anyone and don't want to know them, it can't be much different than being in class by yourself.
Just talk with your mom and see what you guys can decide on which would be the best educational opportunity for you.

right well i had sex with my boyfriend today for the first time and i took the pill that morning but i haven't taken the pill in 6 months and then i just took it this morning will the pill still be affecttive??? also the pills are like 6/7 months old and i was wondering if they can go off date or something so they didn't work? i haven't told my boyfriend my worries and i wont until i definately need to if im pregnant or something reply fast please to put my mind at rest love me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Since you haven't taken them in 6 months, they aren't doing you any good, I'm afraid to say.
I don't know what you're taking, but I know since you've gone so long without them your best bet would be to go to the doctor and start over the whole process.
That's the only way I know for fact that your birth control will be as safe and affective as it claims to be.
Just be sure that when you do start over, try not to ever miss or skip doses.

who is the founder of the Hechts department store? btw i already no its gonna be macys

http://www.scripophily.net/maycomdepsto.html

This is the best I can come up with. If you go to this site, scroll down through the years this dude got different establishments, including Hecht's.
Some fellow by the name of May...

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