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caught in between My friend Jessica is dating this guy Chris. They have been on-and-off for about a year now & they are currently in a stable relationship .. or so I thought. Jessica won't hookup with him & Chris says it doesn't bother him and that he'll wait till shes ready but it's getting to him. Jessica is scared because shes never madeout with a guy before and she has problems with being intimate. Thing is, they've been dating for four monthes now and hes really starting to wonder if they're ever going to. Jessica does weird things like not calling him & hanging out with other guys/flirting with them because she can't be tied down to one person (I've known that) She won't breakup with him because she says he's sweet, but every other day she has a problem with him. Hes shows affection in the simpliest ways (like writting her cute notes & daily phone calls) and it seems to scare her. Its like, she won't go farther than just a peck on the lips .. but she wants to stick with him .. but she wants to be free to flirt with other guys? I'm always caught up between their problems & trying to give advice to each one but I just have no idea what to do anymore. I need to know what to say to each of them & hopefully they'll finally settle their problems. We're all 14 btw. Sorry this is long & thanks.
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Dear,Caught ..Relationships are always bumpy ..in your siduation it seems that jessica may not be ready for a relationship..if she still wants to date the guy fine, but she should tell him to slow down and that she's not ready to go far..i mean if your 14 you should take it slow anyway...your only kids you got your whole life ahead of you just have fun and enjoy eachothers company. Your friend Violet ]
you should tell her that its not scary to makeout even though she hasnt before she just needs to let loose.tell her all you need to do is just kiss with the tongue in the mouth and move it around and if she wants to be flirting with other guys she should just leave him because it makes the guy look like a total idiot and ask him if hes made out before so she can know and they wont feel nerves to do it ]
I hate to say this, but sounds like she's too immature yet to be tied down to one guy. But if she's going to be out flirting with other guys, she needs to let go of this one.
I imagine it has alot to do with she's maybe still stuck on Chris.
They just need to find themselves and what they really want and maybe then they will get back together. Or drift apart. Whatever is best will come around in the long run.
It is good for you to be a good friend to both enough to give them a shoulder to lean on, but I'm afraid all the advice in the world isn't going to help them. You guys are 14, so your friends need to give themselves a chance to age some and mature more.
I don't know of anything you can say to settle their problems. They own those problems, not you. So they are the only ones who can settle them.
Just hang in there and hope for the best for them. ]
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