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my boyfriend and i are really close. we've been together for a long time, and we usualy have a lotta fun together. hes a real sweet guy and always has been, but until recently (meaning the last few months) hes been smoking pot with his friends. the fact that he does it doesnt bother me as much as the fact that he'll leave parties that hes hanging out with me at to go smoke with his friends. it pisses me off so much. basically: he ditches me for his friends and drugs. they pressure him into it. i tell him it pisses me off, but i dont know what to do.
please help =/
Sincerely,
*i want my boyfriend back*
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Okay let's see if we can figure this out. He is obviously getting something he needs from smoking with these friends, aside from the obvious that he is getting high. There's many reasons, acceptance, feeling a part of something, eleviating his boredom, and well just having fun. Though he is making a rather poor choice it is still his business and he will defintely only act worse towards you if you are always getting mad at him or trying to stop him, especially if his friends see this, they will put there two cents in and tell him to get his girl "in check" and tell her to stop "trying to control you." However as the girlfriend you have the right to be upset about feeling neglected, it's one thing if he goes out with his friends in the first place, but when he goes somewhere with you then ditches you to go get high then his priorities are defintely screwed up. Hopefully this won't happen but if he continues with this he will only get worse, weed will become his whole life if he doesn't have confidence or self-control. Not everyone is like that but when you are young you tend to focus on one big thing at a time, and when it's drugs then it's all about getting high, when they are gonna do it, how often, and what happened when they were messed up. Have you tried talking to him seriously about it? Not right when it's happening but when you are alone and he is not high? You need to tell him how you feel and let him know you are not trying to control him but that you just want to spend time with him and if it's something you can't accept and something he won't stop doing ask him to respect you and not do it when you are around. Whatever you do don't get pulled into it, you sound like you have no interest in it but sometimes we compromise our beliefs and feelings to make someone else happy, to make ourselves happy and it always ends up doing the opposite. Good luck with this and feel free to ask me anymore questions you may have.
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Well, As a Cannabis smoker, I rather enjoy smoking, And it`s a fun event to chill with some close friends and im sure he feels the same way. Sharing weed is a sign of saying your cool(i know that corny but its true) It cost more then money, The only thing you could do without being a B, is let him get high, but it the taking like forever then go and get him or join the group, if your under 18 i dont advise smoking it. But when it comes to smoking people think differently then other subjects. If you say i want you over here not over there, he`ll take it like your controlling. He wouldnt do it if he didnt enjoy it. So let him have his fun. He might not smoke pot for the rest of his life you know.
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okay.
this may not be the best answer.
but whatever you do, don't let him get u into drugs.
if he's gunna be doin that instead of hangin out with u thats messed up.
he shud do that on his own free time.
you should leave him.
its easier said than done.
but you can find someon better.
p.s.
I'm a guy. so this is from a guys point of view.
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