ask FernGully
the angry canadian



Ferns General Advice Do or do not, there is no try. If you have to try, then it just isn't you.
If you aren't sure if you should have sex with him, then you are not ready to have sex with him.
"But I still love him!" Well he does not love you. If he loved you, he would not hurt you.
Let's get one thing straight. STUPIDITY IS NOT COOL. So hey, why not aim for more?

There's your answer fishbulb.



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I'm a 21 year old useful person. I am generally not in the advice game except for some rare occasions. I am mostly here to help keep advicenators running smoothly (though they don't really need me).

As a side note, everybody sucks but me.
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ok well some idiot at skool made this site that has lists off girls in our grade. theres prettiest, uggliest, bitchiest, and sluttiest. in at number 1 for prettiest and this girl who i dont like is number 1 for sluttiest so now everyone thinks its me and its not! what should i do?
thanx-allison (Indeed)

As a matter of fact, this very same thing happened at my school when I was in 9th grade. I wasn't on it but what happened was someone let the school administration know. Usually, people won't get the principal involved unless its serious and this is serious - this is public slander. I think you should do what they did at my school, which is have someone let the principal or a teacher know and then what will happen is they will most likely make an announcement about it and hope that the person turns themself in.

Also, when the person eventually turns themself in, your name will be cleared.




me and my boyfriend have been togeather for like 4months almost. and we have sex like EVERYDAY and i love it and all but i mean he thinks thats all i want..and sometimes i think it is to but i do love him a whole lot...but the thing is hes gota KID yes a KID. and my bf is only 17(IM 16) the girl it was wtih lives in a diff. town adn shes a hoe. but neways...im just scared..i dont wanan get pregante and the fact that he can get girls pregnate scares me...and u know hwat if the condom breaks or somthing cuz im not on BIRTH contorl yet..i will soon hopefully..but ya...i dunno..im just scared..what should i do!?!?! i love him tho!. (Indeed)

Stop having sex.

No, seriously. If you are afraid of pregnancy then you shouldn't be having sex.

You would think he would have learned his lesson? Apparently not.




okay i went to this dance last night and was dancin a lot. I danced witha kidd who was a sophomore (i'm a junior) and well he was really hott!! omg we liked dance to 3 songs and we even danced to my fave song "ice ice baby" by vanilla ice!! then my friend and i met up with this guy and his friend and well let's just say his friend had acne problems and bad breath!! he gave me his sn!! he's a kewl kidd and someone i would definitely wanna hang out with but i told my friend to get me the kidd i danced with to 3 songs sn!! is their a possibility 4 a friendship or romance in these situations??

signed,
-VaNiLLa IcE GiRL- (Indeed)

Ew, Vanilla Ice.


Anyways. Of course there is a chance. You have the one guys IM sn (I think at least) so you can at least be friends with him. The other guy you can find and if you really wanted to - you could get to know him better and possibly have some romance. Just make sure you don't base it on outside appearances, and actually get to know him. Some people can be nice looking and extremely weird and annoying at the same time.

Get to know this guy who apparently has bad breath too. Acne doesn't last forever and you can always give him gum. You could be misssing out on a really amazing person by forgetting about him just because of some acne and bad breath. You should give him a chance.




OK I like this guy Named Chris But I used to Like this guy Named Matthew But the Day I met Chris was the Day I met Matthew In person And It was kinda Awkward Because I like Chris more and I dont want to hurt Matthews feelings So I didnt tell Matthew that Chris spent the night with Me But he found out by a friend But its ok I didnt tell her she couldnt tell!! so anywayz that night me and chris were laying down next to eachother and we started kissing ever since then We have had this big huge crush on eachother so But ok
Chris is really sweet, nice, comments me on stuff and kisses alot and hugs alot a cuddles alot And likes me for me which is really kewl
on the other hand
Matthew- Cocky, kinda mean, nice sometimes
comments on how Hott I am doesnt give me hugs, tells my friends there hott all the time in front of me talks about my friends 24/7 and U see why I dont like him
I just need to know How to tell HIm I dont like him but IN a nice way!! (Indeed)

You don't necessarily have to tell Matthew, just slowly distance yourself from him. He will either lose interest or catch on to the hint.

Matthew has bad qualities anyhow apparently, don't worry too much about his pride. You said he's cocky? I'm sure he'll get over it.




what is a smear test? (Indeed)

I suppose you are talking about a pap smear?
Well a pap smear is when they take a sample of the cells of the wall of the cervix, to check for cervical cancer, among other things.

This web page is very good in telling you exactly what it is, and all the medical terms and such:
http://www.4woman.gov/faq/pap.htm

And in case you dont read it on the website, every female should have a test done, either when they are around 18, or before they are 18 if they are sexually active.




We Just Moved Into A New House And We Bought It. So My Mom Said I Can Paint And Decorate My Room However I want. I Dont Know What I Should Paint It Though. My Favorite Colors Are Pink And Purple. And I Love The Playboy bunny. Does Anyone Know Where I Could Get Playboy bunny stuff? Or Pink Stuff For Your Room? Thanks. (Indeed)

Well, it would be a lot cheaper to simply print the playboy bunny icon off the computer and then say, trace it onto the wall as a stencil sort of. You can get pink stuff absolutely everywhere, since everyone and their cat wants pink merchandise right now. Also, if you wanted pink furniture, you could buy some pink paint and paint the furniture.





halloween is coming up!! and well i need some ideas on a costume....at first i wanted to be a baby and wear pajams and a white beater and a binkie.....but then i wanted to be a gangsta girl n wear a bandana and a white beater and like grey joggin pants....but i dont know what to be! can someone plez list alotta ideas! i dont wanna wear any dress type things!....thanks (Indeed)

Gangsta girl? WTF is that? A female affiliated with gangs does not wear a wife beater and jogging pants - she would wear no clothes and look like a prostitute.
I dont know why you would want to walk around dressed like that.

I have a better idea - dress up like a crooked cop and point a gun at the people who answer their doors to give you candy. Tell them candy isn't good enough and then steal their purse/wallet.

You'll make tonnes of friends!




ok, my boyfriend of 3 years wants to go into the army for about 4 or 5 years. i was just wondering, is there any chance of him getting hurt,dying,etc? b/c if there is..i cant let him go. please help me. ill rate high. (Indeed)

You don't have a choice.
Thing is, right now, there is active service in the US and a lot going on. He'll be heading off to Iraq no doubt, which is a war zone. Of course there is a chance - they don't carry guns around to look cool. He will be trained properly and will know how to handle situations but yes, there is a chance he could get hurt. You don't have a say in the matter really, because he already signed up and its somehting that he wants.

If you want I can tell you that everything is happy and sunshine and rainbows and thta walking into a war zone is code for 'Desert vacation in the Iraq Holiday Inn'. But I certainly hope you wouldn't buy that.




theres this kidd i was friends w/ for like 6 months i have sooo many memories w/ him n i think i was starting to like him n now he told this girl that were ex best friends wtf is that so i imed him about it n he was like were to different i dont think we should tlak anymore n i cried soo much over him n i just cant get over him everything reminds me of him please give me a way to talk to him get him backk!! i need him there for mee (Indeed)

Sounds like this guy is after some room to breathe. Try giving him some space for a while and he'll most likely come back to you and start talking. Leave him alone for a while and he'll come back eventually.




I don't need any advice (at least not for the time being, thankfully) but I was just wondering where in Canada you live, since I'm from there too. Also, that's a pretty cool balloon, I must say. Anyway, that's all I wanted to know. Thanks! (Indeed)

I live in Ontario!

Yes internet stalkers, thats right!




hey does nair really work? because i have a hard time shaving my legs and getting all the spots and i thought it would be nice but i want to know if it works first. thanx. (Indeed)

Its different for everyone. I don't know the technical reasons as to why, but I know one person who said it was the greatest, most painless way to remove hair and the most effective! I also know a person who said it sucked, and it didnt even remove the hair.

I think you just have to try it for yourself to be honest. Its expensive though, so if its crappy, its a pretty big money loss. It apparently works best on arm hair rather than leg hair if that helps at all.




Whats the HTML for frames (Indeed)

Umm, you'll have to fill in the respective information but I'm pretty sure this will land you with frames if you fill in the right stuff:

*SCRIPT LANGUAGE="javascript">

if (self==parent)
{
document.write('




Hey everyone! It's fabolouzxkay8! Ok I need help finding subliminal messages in songs. If you don't know what a subliminal message is, well its a message in songs, tv, and media that make you wanna buy or get something. Does anyone know any songs that have subliminal messages? I don't want songs from Britney Spears or Slipknot. If you do find a song that has a subliminal message in it, can you tell me where it is in the song when I play it? Thanks (Indeed)

There are a lot of songs that have underlined meanings. I doubt you'll be able to find a song with a real subliminal message because the point of it is to not be heard, which is why it is subliminal.

Real songs don't really work like the ones in 'Josie and the Pussycats'.

You can find alternate meanings in just about every well written song. In fact, if the song doesn't require a little reading between the lines and thought, it isn't a good song anyways.

Music by 'The Doors' which no one has heard of has a lot of underlined meanings that I'm aware of. In particular the song Consciousness-raising as a Social Tool, which when you really look at it can have a lot to do with mid life crisis, cult joining and a lot more. It all depends on your perspective and what you get out of the song.

I can give you a more popular song that gives a message but isn't directly stated which is 'Don't Go' which is a cover by Fefe Dobson. A lot of the lines have something to do with accepting homosexuality and equal rights between genders.

If you are looking more for a brand situation, try Nelly's Air Force 1, which is a Nike shoe. The entire song is about the freaking shoe.




Hey, on my Advice Column it says i've been rated 6 time, and my average is 4.83, but when i take a look in feedback i've been rated 16 time, and i calculated my average to be about 4.9. What's happening there? Is advicenators just stuffing up or is it me doing something wrong? (Indeed)

Please read the FAQ on Advicenators.
http://www.advicenators.com/faq.php?mode=columnist_ranking




I dread going to school everyday. I hate it this year and its not my 1st year of highschool. I hate mosta my classes and the people in them...i can never get motovated to go and plus my school sucks big time. My parents always say "well having my job is worse" but my school sucks pretty hard. I hate it and sumtimes i even wish it would burn down lol. Is there sumthin that i can do to not dread it so much? (Indeed)

Just keep thinking that each day you go to school you are one day closer to it being over.

Each day of school you miss brings you one step closer to failing something and having to stay longer or during your summer vacation.




Is it possible to overdose on vitamin c? i mean i just bought cough drops that say each drop has 100 percent of the vitamin c i need each, is ok to take more if i need them? (Indeed)

http://my.webmd.com/hw/drug_data/d00426a1.asp?bn=Sunkist%20Vitamin%20C

Well here it says not to take more than it says on the package, so you might want to take a look at the package.

I asked my mom though and she told me that extra vitamin C, you just pee out, which I could have done without hearing her tell me. Anyways, you should never take something in extreme excess, even when it is something very good for you.

Just don't go overboard and you'll be ok.




what should you use to ease the itching/stinging/swelling of a bee sting? (Indeed)

as long as you aren't allergic, take an anti-histamine. Which, as everyone else already told you, would be something like Benadryl.

And then don't touch it. Touching it makes it itchier and itching it makes it swell more.




Does anyone know how to get hair and fuzz out of velcrow? (Indeed)

Comb it out. Seriously it works. Use a comb that doesn't have prongs that are really close together though because then you won't be able to get the comb past the Velcro. If you have a hair pic, that would work nicely.




Theres this girl at my church who also goes to my school. No one sits with her at lunch, and im absolutly sure she doesnt have any friends. She might have some problems, im not sure. (Mentally)
Thing is i know my friends would make fun of her because she looks different. Its eatting away at me everyday to think i could be making her life better. i rate. *Megz* (Indeed)

What the hell? Why do you care? Really. Is it going to hurt anyone if you just say hello to this girl? Who cares what your friends think, they're jerks if they make fun of someone else anyways.

If you want to, say hi to this girl, sit with her - do whatever it is you think is best. Don't treat her like she needs your pity though, treat her like you would want someone to treat you - normal. Don't befriend this girl just to make yourself feel better, do it because you actually want to be a friend to her.




this is going to be long...

I have this gut feeling that my brother is gay. I really believe that he is. I don't have a problem with it or anything because I love gay people. His best friend is bisexual even though he won't admit it. He's kissed guys in the back of school and I've seen him and he also kisses girls. So I pretty much know he's bi. So getting back to my brother, I just really think that he's gay! I swear it's like i have gay-dar or something like that, he's always staring at my boyfriend when he comes over, when he has his friends over, they are in his room for like 2 freakin hours WITH THE DOOR LOCKED and if he hears me walking up to the door he yells at me. I mean come on, he's never had a girlfriend and he always says he doesn't want one and that he'd never get married. He says, and I will quote, "Girls are a waste of my time." When I told some of my friends that I thought he was gay, they all responded with "I always knew something was up with your brother." Or something along those lines. Even guys that barely know my brother say that he's gay. My only worry is that my dad is homophobic, and my mom said that she'd be really upset if she found out that he was gay even though she has gay friends. How do I tell my mom of my suspicions? If it's true how would my dad react in the future when he comes out? How can I deal with this?? (Indeed)

The thing is, its really no ones business, including your own, what sexual preference your brother has. Its ok to care and to be concerned, but imagine how he would feel if he knew you were telling other poeple this, including your parents. If he is gay and he comes out, then you can deal with the situation. Your father will deal with it his own way, and the way he deals with it will be his choice and no one elses because that is who he is and I doubt if anyone will be able to magically change him.

Let your brother live his life now, and stop telling people you know about this. If you want to, you can go to your brother and talk to him one on one, ask him if he wants to confide in you and talk to you about anything. Don't try to pry into his life however.




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