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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

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Laura/22/England



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advice

Is there any way to find out if my ex bf had any diseases? I was sent an email from someone I dont know telling me, he had stds. He was also sent this message. I told him about it and he said he would go to the doctor to get checked. i know his doctors name because it use to be in his phone. so i called the place to "set up an appointment" and they told me he is not a patient there. The only problem is, is that when he told me about him going to the doctor, he told me that his doctor was a male. then later said, it was a female. he told me they did a blood test and went on a wednesday. on saturday he told me his doctor called and said he was fine. i feel like the results came back way to soon. i think they should take a week or so. also, i called the doctor back to "set up an appointment" and they told me the doctor is booked until april and this doctor only works Thursday and Fridays. the place is closed on Saturday. His story didnt add up, so i dont think he went yet. but what should i do? if i tell him this or talk to him about, he will only say you dont trust me and hang up on me. then ill never know. is there any way i can find out?

Without directly asking him, I'm afraid there's no way, such as checking his records, because everything is confidential and unless you are that person, you won't be able to see them.
Anyway, I would like to point out if you can't get a decent answer from him, YOU should go and get tested anyway. If he's lied to you already, why would you want to trust him when YOUR health is also at risk?
Don't delay and make an appointment.
You should be getting checked out anyway, despite the email you received.. which may I add, could be complete lies..

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The other day, I had this weird dream that my sister kissed my boyfriend and he did NOTHING about it. He didn't keep going but he didn't stop her, either. And he reacted as if nothing happened. Just sat back down next to me.

No, I don't think tihs means that he's cheating on me or anything.

My question is, what can this imply about ME?

Perhaps it signifies insecurities between you and your boyfriend - you might be afraid of him cheating on you and not saying anything about it, or you fear the people closest to you may go behind your back. Saying that, it might not mean anything like that at all - it could mean something nicer, like you caring a lot about those two people in particular.. and kissing is a thing people do when they're close.. maybe that's why this happened.
Seriously, don't let it bother you. It was just a dream, don't read too deep in to it :)

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What exactly is the definition of losing your virginity?

No, I took health so I know the basics. So don't go into that.

Let's say that a girl & a guy wanna have sex. The guy puts his penis inside her, but the girl's in a lot of pain, bitches, tells him to stop, etc. and he pulls it out. The end. Has she lost her virginity even though it lasted all of 3 seconds?

A penis entered the vagina - that means virginity is gone. No ifs or buts.
It doesn't matter how long it's in there for.

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This guy that I've been talking to recently started texting me more and more. He asked me to go to the club last night to see him perform. He seemed like he really wanted me to go, so I went. He was pretty wasted, but he went around, grabbing my hand/holding me, introducing me to all his friends. I ended up sleeping over his house (ONLY CAUSE I WAS TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE)! and he tried to make some moves but I denied them because I don't believe in getting "intimate" too fast. The next morning, I left his house, and he texted me immediately! He asked me to hang out again today. I'm horrible at reading guys so I don't know if he really likes me or if he's just trying to get into my pants. Help! Thanks guys!

Well, he is showing signs of interest - he's asking you to hang out again, he's making the effort to talk to you, he introduced you to his friends, although he was drunk... just give it a little longer to see if he still is making the effort - if you happen to hang out with him again, see what he's like. If he tries it on with you again, tell him when he's sober that you don't want to move too fast and see how he reacts. If he still wants to hang and take it slow, he obviously likes you for you and if he's willing to wait 'til you're ready, he's not just in it for the action. If you notice any signs of being pressured, despite telling him how you feel about things, then that's a different story.
Just don't be afraid to communicate, that way, you won't get mixed signals.

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I have rewritten this over and over again, re-read and re-read trying to add in every bit of detail to make the story clear and try to answer any questions about whats going on. I know it's long, but please bear with me as I feel its important in knowing exactly how everything plays in.

Pretense:
I guess you can say my story begins as a typical relationship, but things really turn strange. It started two years ago, the summer before my senior year of high school. I met the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She had a boyfriend that shes been dating for two years so I figured I didn't have a chance in hell. She even thought I was annoying, but I persisted in trying to get close to her. One day she broke up with her boyfriend, and there I was. Really out of nowhere we started to date, and I was in love. Things moved pretty fast, constant texting, hanging around each other all the time and calling each other every night. After about a month or so though, she ended it with me and she got back together with her ex. I felt sick to my stomach.

Lucky for me her bf is crazy possessive, and eventually pushed her away again. I love her so much I took her back. For about a year we grew together and became best friends. However as our love grew, so did my jealousy and insecurity, and my fear of losing her. We were dating, everyone knew it, we did everything too had the most amazing sex, but we never had a title. And that was one thing I always fought about, her argument was we were already together so what was the point, just a name? I loved her too much to continue to argue, so I was okay with it. During our relationship she was still talking to her ex, never hooked up with him or anything, but always remained in contact. One day she left her phone unattended, and I saw his number and saved it to my phone. I didn't know exactly what I was thinking or what I would do with this number, but it would later prove to be my waterloo in the fight for her heart.

College: Early September, everything goes wrong. We both got accepted to ucf. Over the summer before we moved up she said she wants more space, and wanted to be alone during college. I was worried at first because I wouldn't be living on campus, but she would. And so would her ex, right near her. She was still close to me though and was always around, so my fears slowly slipped away. But then we moved in. I got a run down apartment off campus, it smelled like mold and had roaches galore. I was broke, home sick, and miserable. I grew desperate, and wanted to cling more to the only person I knew up in college with me. She however, was hanging out with her good friend/roomate at the time, and some big black kid that lived on her floor. He had helped her moved in and they were hanging out a lot. I wanted to hang out with her but she insisted she needed her space. Days went by and I didn't see her. My classes were all online, and I was in my room by myself all day. My thoughts and dreams haunted me. I had to call her. I kept calling her, and each time she never answered. She was out hanging out with her new friends, while I was home alone missing her, driving myself crazy. I dunno why I did, but I took her exes number and called him. I asked him for advice? I dunno why, it was the stupidest thing I've ever done. It only made me seem more crazy, and shocked her how I got his number. I told her, and she just couldnt trust me anymore. So here's where the strange part comes in. Long story short, her mom eventually called me and asked that I stop bothering her. At that point I realized how alone I really was when the girl I cared for most asked her mom to tell me to leave her alone. I told my buddy who went to a different school about what was going on, and like a "great" friend decided to play a joke on me. He had our other friend text me and say to leave her alone, shes texting me saying your harrassing her. I freaked. Of course this was untrue, but I panicked nonetheless. So I called her mom back and promised her I would leave her daughter alone if she could please tell her daughter to stop telling my friends Im a stalker. I realized I had been acting really irrational, and wanted to put an end to the madness before things got out of hand. But unsuspectadley...things did go out of hand, in the worst way possible.

The police involvement: That same day after speaking with her mother, I went to a restaurant on campus with an old high school friend. I didn't hang out with them much, but I figure since Im on my own now its best I start making new relationships. Well, remember that big black kid that was helping my "ex" move in? He appears at the restaurant with his buddy, and they approach my table. I have to add that I was online earlier on instant messenger and put where I was as my away message, which ill explain why its important later. So this kid storms up to my table ready to fight and says "why the F*** are you talking shit about me to *******'s mom??" I said to him "woah, are you crazy?? I don't even know who you are I didn't say anything about you I was talking about someone else" He said "bullshit i'll kick your ass" And I said "f*** you psycho" and as i turned away to ignore him and pick up my hamburger out of nowhere he decks me in the face. I was stunned. Everyone in the restaurant was watching at this point. I got up, but my friend that I was with insisted I call the cops. The black kid teased me and said "yea call the cops bitch!" and walked out. So I did, I called the cops. They come, ask what happened, and asked why this person I did not know hit me. I told him he was friends with my ex, and that they might have known I was at the restaurant because of my away message on the instant messenger. I give the report, and I go about my way. About 30 minutes later I get a phone call from the police asking me to go to the station, the story apparently is more complicated. So I arrive and from there on I quickly turn from the victim to the criminal. The police told me they had the kid who hit me in custody, but now I was in trouble. They had with them cell phone records and all the emails I had been sending my ex, and they were now ready to press harrassment charges against me. I was so shocked. They said they went to question her about why that kid came, and apparently she turned it around on me and wanted to file a harrassment complaint. By the end of the day, I was told that if I ever make contact with her or any of her friends or family I'd be arrested. My world fell apart and my heart sank to a low I couldn't describe.

September passes...the longest month of my life. I never really dreamt before, but everynight was a nightmare. I couldn't sleep.

October comes, I had already deleted her number and everything out of fear of being arrested, but I still had her as a buddy on aol instant messenger. I think we were both afraid to talk to eachother, because she began to communicate to me...through away messages. We begin by saying how sorry we are for everything. Long story short, after weeks of this weird communication, we agree to meet. It started with lunch, and before you know it I was sleeping over her dorm and we were having sex. No one knew we were seeing each other, it had to be secret. This part of my memory is quite fuzzy, because after that we began to fight again. And literally a week later she was dating that ex of hers. I was shocked. Apparently, during that month after the incident she found comfort in being with him. And apparently he was being an ass again and she decided to see me again. Seeing me only lasted a week, and then it was back to her not making any contact with me, and she was back with her ex.

October passes...as does November, December...January..all the way through April. Each day I fill my heart with more hate, my eyes with more tears, and my mouth with more alcohol. I tried to occupy myself, and get over this bitter situation. Just drop it I kept telling myself, its over, she screwed you over so hard. So I drank, and hung out with trashy people. I could tell myself I was having fun...but every night I put my head on that pillow, and my thoughts would haunt me. Everyday I missed her, wondered about what she was doing. I still loved her. I was miserable. I hated everybody and everything. Months went by and I never heard from her. I was nearly failing school. During a lot of this time I had been going to counseling. It helped somewhat, but the answers I was getting didn't seem to help. Everyday I grew more hateful, and more miserable. To say the least, I was not myself anymore and I turned into a completely different person. Anxiety attacks were constant, and I was in a constant state of panick. I really didn't know how I could ever survive. I hadn't had a good day for as long as I could remember. It was the worst I had ever felt, and was losing the will to live.

So sometime earlier this year we make contact again. I don't really remember how, but apparently she had been dating the same kid all year and had eventually broke up with him. She still didn't want to see me, but slowly but surely we started talking. The summer went on and we were like peas and carrots again. She moved back home for the summer while I remained in school. We talked all the time, and things were going great. This fall semester started and we were with each other 24/7, sleeping over each others houses. I was the happiest I had ever been.

My current dilemma: Last week, I made a huge mistake. She wanted me to help her with something on her computer, so while she showered, I worked on her computer. I finished early, and while I was sitting there I couldn't help but notice something. I don't know how I stumbled upon this document, but it was a conversation between her and her ex. I read it, then closed it. I made no mention of it. That night I slept over her place, and then later the next day while at work she texted me asking to be honest with her and asked had I gone through her computer. I panicked. I knew what was coming. I told her no. She said thats funny, under recently viewed documents something here was opened that I know I didnt open. So I told her. And then she cut me off. She said I'd never change, it was just like how I took his number out of her phone. I was really miserable, and my anxiety was driving me crazier than ever. How could I fuck up what I tried so hard to fix?? Our relationship was already so fragile because of our past. A couple days later she starts talking to me again. We take it slow, no more sleeping over of course. We go to the gym, and she even comes over to my house for dinner. I had to go home this past weekend to get my car ( I had none for the past month ) so she drove me to the bus station. I talked to her online that night while I was home, and then said goodnight. The next day we were talking and I made mention of how tired I was. And she said what time did you go to bed last night? I said right after you did. I wasn't really thinking about exactly what happened because I was wrong. She said I was full of shit because she went on later on and saw I was online. I was still online for a bit longer but didnt really remember. To me this was no big deal, but she called me a compulsive liar. She ignores me again. The next day I'm on the phone with her and talk about plans of going to disney world, I had already gotten tickets. She said thats not a good idea. And I kinda freaked and said why not?? We had been planning this for a long time. At this point she didnt even want to speak to me and said ill talk to you later and hung up. A couple hours later I texted her...no response. I texted twice more and still no response. The next day I made no attempt to contact her. Today comes...I drive back up to school, I text her. Still no response. I texted again and said I need my parking decal because it was in her car. She finally responded and said shed leave it at the front office of my apartment building. So she did. No conversation, she doesnt want to talk.

So this is me now. I find myself in desperation, looking for any sign that things will be alright. My anxiety is keeping me up all night and all I want is for her to know how sorry I am, and how much I regret going through her computer. I don't want her to not trust me. I care so much for her. If only she could know how sorry I am and how much I want to correct the wrongs I've made. I fear I may have lost her again and it will kill me if this happens again. I can't go on another year beating up on myself, being alone, being miserable. At this moment I am the most miserable I have ever been, more so before because I was given a chance at redemption, and I ruined it. I don't know what to do. I want her in my life so badly. I ask you out of desperation for help, I never meant to hurt her. What do I do?

I feel so sorry for you. You think you are in love with this girl and are clearly blind to the horrific ways she has been treating you for years. You're desperate for her to trust and love you when in all honesty, she sounds like a complete bitch - running back to her ex, getting you involved with the police, deciding when she feels like talking to you and when she feels like using you.. please, PLEASE put an end to this. She has you wrapped around her little finger and it is so, so upsetting to read a question like this, because you are totally oblivious to it. It's like an abusive relationship..emotionally, mentally..
I've had a few similar experiences myself where this so called "love" has obscured my vision of what is REALLY happening - I just blocked it out and pretended things would be okay.. well they won't be okay and by the sounds of this girl, they NEVER will be. She is a user, someone who should be ashamed to call herself a female.
So what, a document on her computer caught your attention and she freaked about it? Does she forget all the things she's put you through in the past?
You are only miserable and alone because YOU chose to be.. If I were you, right now, I would delete EVERY SINGLE contact you have (mobile number, email, etc) and get on the road to recovery.
You're not a compulsive liar, you're hopelessly in love with a girl who doesn't deserve it.
I know you don't want to hear any of this advice and are probably wishing for ways to win her back, but I'm not going to give any ways.
Seriously, go hang with friends, get a hobby, do anything to take your mind off her. Even speaking to a professional will help you.
She's definitely done a good job on you with constantly making you feel like crap - so now show her you are your own person - you have your own decisions - you have your own life to live and she will NOT be in it to mess it up whenever she feels like it.
Seek help if needed. Move on, you owe it to yourself to find a DECENT person.

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is it true that the less often you wear underwear the better your "down there" smells? cause underwear like doesn't let it breathe or something?

Depends on the underwear and the material they are made from. For example, you shouldn't wear thongs every day and try to stick to cotton underwear, as cotton lets your skin breathe and doesn't irritate.
Just try to keep those special ones for special occasions and don't let your "down there" area always be trapped under clothing that makes you hot etc - just like any other body part to be honest :)

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I was with my boyfriend yesterday and we were just hanging out. I got on his lap and we were making out a little and I got some gas. I was going to get up and go to the bathroom but it slipped out and I totally farted on my boyfriend! I turned red and apologized but it really did smell pretty bad and lingered in my room. He was SO grossed out and went home like 15 minutes later and didn't call me to say goodnight like he usually does. I'm SO embarrassed to even talk to him about this! He really didn't seem very pleased (not that I would expect him to be) but I don't know why he's taking it so hard and is upset...or maybe I'm just overreacting and misinterpretting the situation / his reaction? I don't know what to do now.

Why is something so natural so embarrassing?
A boyfriend is supposed to be understanding and if he's pissed about it, he clearly is taking it way too far.
Just talk to him about it, he's your boyfriend for goodness sake. You should be able to talk about anything and be comfortable doing things in each other presence. Accidents happen - say you didn't mean to and ask what the heck his problem is and why he's acting like this over it.
I hope you're misunderstanding and he's not annoyed about you farting and he's just not having the best of days?
I'm curious to know what happens, leave some feedback.
Good luck and don't feel bad about it.

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My boyfriend and I were talking about sex the other day. We both want to wait until we have a stronger relationship (we've only been dating a few weeks) and I'm glad we both agreed on that. He said he was interested in seeing my vagina though. He said that there wasn't anything bad about me showing him myself down there but I'm not sure if that's ok?
He told me he'd show me his penis if I wanted to see it and I kind of do want to see it. Obviously we haven't even touched each other sexually yet but I'm kind of thinking that we'll end up doing something if we get naked lol But I don't want to have sex yet...but I do want to make him happy and I am kind of curious about what his penis looks like (but what if it makes me horny or something and we end up having sex?!).

So, I sort-of want to show him but I'm scared. What do you all think? Should I show him my vagina or should I tell him that it's too early in the relationship and I'm too uncomfortable with it? :\ I really want to make the right move here...please help...

If you even need to question it, then just don't do it.
Tell your boyfriend you want to wait - it will make it more special when that time comes around.
You've only been dating a short while, don't rush into things and then regret it later on.

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I keep getting e-mails from people about this MyWorld Plus business opportunity thing.

The links don't look like they go to the site, but when you click them that is where you end up: "www.myworldplus.com"

I could not find ANY way to tell these people to stop mailing me and there is no way to contact the company!

It all sounds real enough, but with no way to contact them and all this spam I am getting about them it starts to sound bad.

Any advice?

Thank you!

http://www.myworldplus.com/contactUs

There's some contact details.

Also, make sure you set those type of emails to appear in your junk folder - so they don't get in your way.

This site is bad news, just like all the others. when something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. I just spent a while researching this site in particular and some people have given them money without receiving goods they have been promised.. whereas others say the site is good and get freebies etc - but with ALL things like this, there is a catch.
Steer clear.

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I was thinking the other day about douching and how it's suppose to help keep you clean down there. Well, if it removes dirt and other stuff then will it remove semen if I have sex with my boyfriend and douch right after? I figure it isn't a fool-proof birth control method but maybe it helps to reduce the chances of pregnancy? Anybody know?

To put it simply.. No.

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hey so my bf wants to "finger me till i orgasm' is that possible? hahah.

Depends how you work and if he does it right.
but yeah, of course it's possible (assuming clitoris stimulation is involved) If he just wants to go inside.. then that's a different story - like I said, depends how you work. :)

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I am a 20 year old female and my period has been way out of whack this month it started out really light and brown in color and it should have ended two days ago, and now it is super heavy and really red!!! I don't mean to be graphic, but, I go through a super tampon in less then an hour! I don't think this is normal! is something wrong with me? Should i go to a gyno? I have never experienced this in all the years i have had my period! Ok I am freaking out. Can i lose to much blood from my period?

Thanks

Hey, sometimes, it happens.
Lots of different factors can affect your period, such as birth control, meds, stress, diets etc.. or maybe you're just more heavy than normal this month.. I know I've had longer ones/more heavier ones than usual.
Try not to worry and see if it decreases like normal as the days go on. If you want to put your mind at ease, how about phone up a doc/gyn, explain your problem and see what they say.

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I've been dating my boyfriend for TWO MONTHS and he has called me his exgirlfriends name a few times now (on the phone AND in person face-to-face). At first I thought he just make a mistake and I let it go but now it's making me really, really mad. I keep wondering if he's doing it on purpose or if I should be worried at all about this. I know two months is no real amount of time in the scheme of things but HELLO! I don't even look like his ex!

I am too embarrassed to ask my mom or my friends about it though. Should I ask my boyfriend why he keeps calling me by his ex girlfriend's name? Should I just let it slide, ask him to apologize when he does it, or what? There's been a few times where he didn't even seem to notice(!) that he called me the WRONG NAME - should I bring it to his attention when he does it?

Or maybe I should just dump him?

I mean, if he can't remember my name...does he really care?

Ugh! What do you think?

You have a right to be annoyed - anyone would.
What I'm struggling to understand is why haven't you said anything to him about it yet?
How long was he with his ex? Was it a long time? - it could just be a really bad habit and could well be accidentally slipping out without any meaning whatsoever.
Or maybe he is thinking about her a lot and isn't 100% over her...
We can't give you the exact reason, so just ask him.
A simple "*his name*, you keep calling me your ex's name without realizing and it's getting to me - what's the deal?" - even a txt message will do - just make sure he knows you're getting annoyed/upset about it.
See if it improves.

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My boyfriend and I REALLY want to have sex in the shower for our first time. He said his friend told him that if we use some sort of soap (like bar soap or even SHAMPOO) that we won't have to worry about me getting pregnant. That way we won't have to buy condoms or anything too. Sounds great, yeah? :D

My parents are going to be away this saturday for a little while and I thought about asking my boyfriend to come over and we could do it in the shower. ;) I'm kind of nervous about the soap thing though because I don't want to end up being a pregnant teen.

:) Is it true that you can't get pregnant if you use soap as lubrication during sex in the shower?
And, if so, what is the best soap/shampoo to use for lube in the shower? ;) ;) THANKS

Your friend is a moron.
Of course you can get pregnant - sex in water can also be rather dangerous and if you use shampoo? Have fun with an infection and immense amounts of irritation.
DO NOT do it.
and BUY some freakin' condoms for when you do it in a way that's NOT harmful. If you need lube - KY jelly or another water based lubricant. It's probably cheaper than shampoo anyway!
Play it safe.

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I have 4 pills of x. im a female, 90 lbs, first time taking it. if i took all 4, im sure id o.d right? should i just take one then?

Seriously, read up about the facts of this drug and you wouldn't even want to think about the name.
ONE is too much - you can DIE from just the one.

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Today (Monday), I was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection. I was fingered Saturday so could the urinary tract infection be a result of this?

Could, yes. Could be something simple as unclean hands or just coincidence.

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there is this girl who is telling my bf to break up with me and date her!!!!!!! Grrr... and i wanna message her on myspace but i dont know what to tell her. I need some advice on this so tell me what to tell her , not what you think I sould tell her.Sorry to be mean but im really mad

How about you get your boyfriend to tell her to basically, piss off.
and if he doesn't? He's blatantly loving the attention and clearly doesn't care about you as much as he probably says.
If I were in your shoes and he didn't do anything about it... cya! I'd find someone worth my time and isn't letting silly little girls hang about as a bit on the side.

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So, I shoplifted the other day. Not anything huge, just some earrings from American Eagle and a shirt from Forever 21. They didn't have an ink tag or anything, just a price tag with a barcode, which I ripped off. I didn't do it because I don't have money, but I will admit, I don't like to just blow my money. I have a shopping addiction and I can't afford to buy every single thing in the store. I saw it as an easy solution. I hid them under clothes to take in the dressing room, so the attendant saw no difference. But my question is, are there security cameras in the dressing room.. is that even legal ? Or what are others ways I could get caught ?

(And please PLEASE do not tell me about how shoplifting is wrong. I don't have a guilty conscience about it, and I'm going to continue to do it.)

Why are questions like this even allowed on this website. It's absolutely disgusting.



I work in retail.
Here's a few facts you need to know.
You're using the oldest trick in the book - going into the fitting rooms and hiding them under clothes.
You WILL get caught eventually - you're just striking lucky at the moment.
Cameras aren't directly in the cubicles, but can be in the area, there ARE cameras in the shops and they WILL pick up on the fact that you are taking items and hiding them under other ones - and they WILL then pick up on the fact you aren't bringing the correct number of items out.
There ARE security guards everywhere (not in the shop at the time) and the shop assistants will be watching with a close eye to prevent thieves.
If they notice anything suspicious, they send a radio message out to OTHER SHOPS IN THE AREA - so you will be caught no matter what and EVERYONE will be wary of you.. Every time you go in any shop, you will be known as a THIEF and have your every move watched closely.
and if you get caught? Depends. But the consequences just aren't worth it for a pair of cheap earrings and a T shirt.
You KNOW it's wrong, so quit while you're ahead and thank yourself lucky you didn't get a nice surprise from security/police.

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I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a full month now and he STILL wants it to be private. I want to tell my friends that I'm seeing him but he keeps saying how he doesn't want everyone knowing about our business so we should keep our relationship hidden. I, secretly, told my best friend and she said it isn't normal and that boys who don't want anybody to know about their girlfriends are ashamed of them or are seeing other girls. I really don't want to believe that but I cannot come up with any different thought about it. Why doesn't my boyfriend want anybody to know we're dating?

You'll get mixed responses here, different age groups will also give different answers.
I'm 21 and let me tell you, if my boyfriend didn't want to admit that he was going out with me, I would be extremely offended. When you're with someone, you'll want to tell the whole world you are together and show each other off.
Does he have any VALID reasons about not wanting it to be public (afraid what his parents will say for example?) if not - seriously talk to him about it - because if he's embarrassed/ashamed to say he's with you, maybe you should rethink WHY you are going out with him.
Itis NOT normal, unless you're a child or something extreme, like you're having an affair and don't want people finding out.
Talk to him.

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it has been nearly 2 months now since my ex-boyfriend broke up with me but just few days ago, i meet up with him for a gathering with our other friends (we had mutual friends). I did realised something from that day..
1st: i caught him looking at me for few times
2nd: he still plays with my hair like how he used to play with it when we're still a couple
3rd: i find that he still cares for me (eg: i was sitting at the corner and he voiced out to his friends why did they not asked me to join them when they were playing cards, asked me how am i going home later). but i was cool and not show him that i still have feelings for him, i act not to notice him when he said good night to me when i was leaving and i said good night to others but not him. other than that, when he tried to talk to me.. i acted as though i am busy and not respond to his questions.

besides that, i heard from my friends that he is now playfully going after a girl who is working in the bar whom he just met 1 weeks ago. besides that, he and his friends are visiting the bar every night for that 1 week because they came back for chinese new year holiday and now they are all back to work. is he giving me hints that he still wants to be back together with me? is he trying to make me jeolous by going after the girl to see how is my reaction? will i drive him away and i really don't know whether am i doing the right thing?

Those hints aren't clear enough to determine if he wants you back.
Just because he is showing signs he cares, doesn't mean he wants to be with you - he's just being a nice person.
For your own sanity, just talk to him and ask him yourself - you will feel so much better knowing you have a straight answer. Don't ask your friends to ask him, pluck up the courage and do it yourself, otherwise, you'll never know the truth and could get hurt in the end.
As for this other girl, I reckon if he was trying to make you jealous, he would have told YOU personally about her and not have your other mates tell you..? That's also something we can't tell you - you'll just have to wait and see with that one I'm afraid.
Sorry this answer probably isn't what you want to hear - I know when there's someone you like/love involved, it's always going to be hard.
Just be brave and ask him if he still has feelings for you/would get back with you.
If the answer's no, get on with your life and find someone who wants and deserves to be with you. :)

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