It's not worth it, especially not for that length of time.

$1600 for three nights? That's insane, even for a family with a reasonable amount of money. You'd spend at least 8 hours on a plane each way, which would kill half your time. You'd be suffering from horrible jet lag while you were there. It would be rushed and you would be left wishing you had more time.

Your parents are right to live in the future. Trust me when I say that you will be far more grateful for the money when you're in university than you would be for the trip. It might not seem like a lot of money to you, but I would have to work 160 hours to make that much, and it would cover half of a term's tuition of college for me. Keep in mind that it's expensive to put a child through university, and your parents get the double whammy with you and your twin sister. They're trying to give you the ultimate gift here. By bypassing a few luxuries along the way, they're giving you a real head start by helping you graduate debt-free.

The best thing you can do right now is to look to the future yourself. Plan an awesome trip to the States for when you graduate university. Take the time to really make the trip worth your while. It's why I haven't been to Europe despite it being a lifelong dream of mine. My parents didn't make it until a few years ago. You want to make sure you do it right when you do it. This isn't a once in a lifetime opportunity. You have your whole life ahead of you to take amazing trips overseas.

About whether or not they can receive mail I'm not sure, but I sure as heck know about being away from each other for long periods of time.

My husband is in the army reserves. For the first 4 summers of our relationship he had to go away to work for them in various parts of the country. That meant 4 months of every year was spent away from each other after living together for 8 months.

There's no easy way to handle it. I'm not going to lie, I spent a lot of nights in tears, especially when I would find out that he wouldn't be able to give me my weekly phone call for 3 weeks straight because he was in the field. It's not easy. There's no way to make it easy. All you can really do is distract yourself and remember that it's for the greater good that he's doing this.

When my husband was away, I learned the amazing trick of developing hobbies to pass the time. I taught myself how to knit. I taught myself how to crochet. I did paint by numbers. I did embroidery and cross stitch. I learned how to sew. I got a fish and spoiled it like crazy. I trained our dog and kept the house spotless. I got an extra part time job to keep me busy. I volunteered. You name it, I probably did it in the name of keeping myself from opportunities to cry and feel sorry for myself.

Like any horrible life event, this too shall pass. It's just a case of reminding yourself of that when it starts to feel like it will be forever.

Okay, bear with me because you might not like what I'm about to say. I am speaking from a similar pesrpective, though, so keep that in mind.

I don't think your parents are abandoning you. I think there's just a disconnect between how you function and how your mother functions. I say this because your conversation (and question) sound a lot like me when I'm dealing with my own mother. She's not a very demonstrative person, and it's caused a lot of heartache in the past.

I can probably count on one hand the number of times she has hugged me in the last 10 years. I can't remember the last time she told me that she loved me. I only talk on the phone with her for practical reasons, like if I'm coming to visit. I know almost nothing about her personal life. When I get upset with her, she backs right off and doesn't really say anything at all. Sound familiar? The thing is, I do love her and she loves me back. We just have different ways of showing it.

Keep in mind that you are an adult, and that your relationship with your parents is going to change as you seek your own life outside of that core family. You will be dating, making friends, getting a job and generally moving on with life. It's totally normal for parents to back off as their children find their own feet, and it's actually pretty unhealthy (and causes a lot more conflicts!) when they refuse to do so.

Think of that last argument from her perspective. You're texting her, she lets you know a minor thing about her personal life, you blow up and declare that she's an awful parent and a terrible person, then get mad and end the conversation in a huff. Not very fair, is it? Would you want to talk lovingly to someone who's making those kinds of accusations against you?

If you want a good relationship with your mother, you have to accept that she's a different sort of person. You can't change other peoples' behaviour, but you can change your own. Try to stop depending on your mother for the demonstrative affection you're looking for. The great thing about friends and significant others is that you choose them based on your compatibility with them. You had no say in who your mother was, right? So surround yourself with people who make you happy, and who you make happy. They're really going to be your new family as you move on into adulthood.

I found that my relationship with my mother got a lot better when I distanced myself a bit. I think of her more as a mentor and friend rather than a parent. And you know what? She's great at both of those things. She can't cuddle me and make me feel better when I'm sad, but boy can she ever give me career advice. She's lousy at helping with relationship problems, but she's got a wicked sense of humour and I enjoy spending time with her. Find what you like about your mother and embrace those qualities rather than focusing on her flaws.

It sounds to me like you're overthinking a happy, normal, healthy relationship.

I can tell you that it's not impossible to start hearing wedding bells soon after starting to date someone. Both my husband and I were pretty sure that we were going to end up married by the time 3 months had rolled around, and we were engaged at 11 months. We waited for another 4 years before actually tying the knot after that, but it does go to show that you can be committed in that way even after a short amount of time, and with no sneaky ulterior motives on his part.

If you're not sure about it, just wait it out. There's always time to figure out exactly what it is you want from a relationship.

Personally, I think it's a great learning experience. Your daughter is at a perfect age to learn some lessons about consequences.

I'm assuming your wife isn't being kept in a maximum security prison, so she won't be in with a really scary crowd. While it will be upsetting to see her mother in jail, it will really hit home the fact that you can't get away with even seemingly minor crimes. It would probably be more damaging to keep her from her mother for a year.

Keep in mind that they won't have you guys mingling with the general population or hanging out in a cell. It will be a safe environment, and you'd miss out on seeing a lot of the bad stuff.

There are really two options, the way I see it.

If you feel like giving him another chance, you could put him on probation, where if he steps out of line even once he's gone. Now, he has to know this, and he has to know that you're serious about it. Keep in mind that this guy has cheated on you many times with no real consequences. He's been having his cake and eating it too. If you are going to put your foot down, you really have to mean it. That means that if you say you're going to pack his bags and kick him out of the house the moment you see anything slightly fishy, you do just that.

Otherwise, and this is the option I probably would take, you can just leave his sorry ass now. This guy must be a master apologizer by now. He has already been given more chances than he should have been to prove himself, and he's saying that sex with random bimbos is more important than a happy life with you and your child. You will always have to have some sort of relationship for your child's sake, but it's really not the worst thing for a kid to grow up with a split family. Which would you prefer: your child growing up with two families, or your child growing up seeing their mother being disrespected and abused on a regular basis? You will be a better parent if you're not miserable and downtrodden. And yes, he depends on you, so he shouldn't be so stupid as to mess that situation up. Make him find his own way. Maybe the random skanks can help him out. It's not your problem, but your happiness is.

Take two steps back, take a deep breath and relax. You're fourteen. There's nobody yelling at you to put a label on your sexuality quite yet, or ever for that matter. It's perfectly okay to go with the flow when it comes to the gender of your partners. I dated both guys and girls before ending up with my husband, and I struggled a lot with my label before just declaring myself open-minded.

If you really like this girl, see where the relationship goes. Your relationship would be your own: there's no such thing as a special lesbian relationship code that you have to follow. Just enjoy spending time together, take things at your own pace and have fun. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.

You want sex with no relationship? I want ice cream and a pony, but that's not happening any time soon.

Seriously, in order to have sex with a girl, you're going to have to put in some effort. She needs to believe that you are worth risking pregnancy and STI infection for, not to mention the connection that you get from having sex with someone.

Having sex and walking away isn't as easy as you might think. When you do, you walk away feeling unfulfilled and sad. I'm not just blowing smoke here, because my husband lost his virginity to a random girl at a party when he was a teenager and he regrets it to this day. Sex is best when you have it with someone you care about, who cares about you and who makes you happy. You don't have to be married, but at least knowing and caring about the lady will make it way better than any no strings attached fling.

These books, which were a staple of my childhood reading, are called Choose Your Own Adventure books. Turns out (I had no idea) they do come in adult versions. Just do a search for "choose your own adventure books for adults" and there are tons to choose from in different genres.

You could get in some serious trouble by watching porn in public, especially depending on the rules that your school has set regarding internet usage. I had friends go on Myspace using proxies back when I was in high school and get banned from using the school computers for the rest of the year. For viewing inappropriate content, you could get a much worse punishment if you're caught.

The answer to the second question is simple: you don't "get a girl to have sex with you". You meet the girl, you end up dating her, you make her feel special and loved and then she might decide to have sex with you when both of you are ready. There's no magical way to manipulate women into sleeping with you, no matter what some pickup artists may say. The best way is the old-fashioned way, in this case. Sex incurs a certain amount of risk (pregnancy, STIs, emotional baggage), and the girl will want to be sure that you're worth it.

It was the shampoo. If possible, you're not supposed to shampoo your hair for at least 24 hours after dying it, to let the colour take hold.

Next time you dye, just rinse the colour really well and put in the conditioner. You don't need to shampoo, because the dye is really harsh and drying, hence the conditioner.

You don't mention how old your son is, so that would factor into my suggestions. I'm going to assume that he's somewhere between 8-16. You're not going to find any of these at a Wal-Mart, but if there's a good board game store nearby, or if you can find a good online store, you're golden.

One of my favourites is Munchkin (in one of its many, many forms). It's a card game that's based off of Dungeons and Dragons, so if he's into RPGs that might be a draw for him. It's got a real sense of humour to it. Here's the website: http://www.worldofmunchkin.com/game/

Bohnanza is another favourite around my house, and usually anyone who plays it gets hooked after the first round. It's really hard to explain this one, because it sounds like a stupid premise, but it's way more fun than it should be. Basically, you get fields in which to plant different kinds of beans. Each kind of bean is worth different amounts of money when you harvest it, and you get more money the more beans you have. It involves a lot of trading, bluffing, extortion, and is just generally hilarious. They don't have a website, so here's the Wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bohnanza

For a longer game, there are three that I would suggest.

Shadows over Camelot is a co-operative (sort of) game for 3 or more people. You're all knights of the round table, working to complete quests and keep evil from ruling the land. Sometimes this means working together, but sometimes one player can be a secret traitor. We've played this with friends a few times and it's got great replayability value. The rules are seriously long and look complicated, but once you get the hang of it it's very immersive and a lot of fun. Their website: http://www.daysofwonder.com/shadowsovercamelot/en/

Zombies is a really cool game with infinite replayability because the board is different every time you play, especially if you buy the expansions. Each player adds to the map and has to battle zombies along the way to victory while throwing the other players to the dogs. http://www.twilightcreationsinc.com/en/boardgames/zombies.html

Primordial Soup is really neat, and it's slowly becoming our favourite game. You have amoebas, and you need to move, eat, mutate and survive. The board is fairly simple (no fancy artwork) and the pieces are all painted wood shapes, but the strategy involved gives this fantastic replayability value. http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/124/primordial-soup

This is a start. If I've got the age range totally wrong, or if I've missed the mark entirely, let me know and I'll see what I come up with. One of my favourite websites is BoardGameGeek, because they not only show you the manufacturer-specified number of people and age category, they offer a user-specified one as well. That way you don't buy a game for 2 players that's really best when played by 6. They also list the average user rating and any awards that game has won.

I planned my own wedding, but we did things a little differently from some others.

The first thing you'll want to do is discuss what it is you want, and research how much that costs. Then once reality hits you, cry and wish you were born a billionaire, then start over.

You need to figure out what you can afford and what you are willing to pay. Keep in mind that a wedding is a one-day party, and that it's not worth going into debt over. Marriages that start with a huge pile of debt are under a lot of pressure! It's perfectly possible to have a perfect, fairytale wedding on a low budget (mine was $3500 all in) as long as you don't have visions of a Kardashian-esque extravaganza.

Our first step was to figure out how many people we were going to invite. Based on that number, you can get started looking at venues. We chose to have ours at a conservation area where you could rent out a barn and a large private area of the park for $300 plus the cost of each person's park admission, which was a great deal! Some places cost upwards of $10 000 for the day.

Some locations will require that you use "approved" vendors for your flowers, photography and catering. This can mean that your options are limited. Otherwise, get creative!

Because of our location and the timing (early afternoon), we did a picnic-themed wedding. Sandwiches, fruit and veggie trays and pink lemonade were on our menu. A lot of locations will offer a fixed-price per person menu. This can include an open bar, or you can also opt to have a paid bar, or no bar if you prefer to go alcohol-free.

There are a few ways to tackle photography. I happened to have a childhood friend who is an amazing photographer and who offered to give us our wedding photos as a gift. A lot of people these days have really good cameras, so you can also go the amateur route... some of our favourite pictures of the day were taken by relatives! If you prefer to hire a professional, it can get pricey. From what my friends have said, $3000 seems to be the average. You could also try contacting your local community college to see if there's someone who is trying to build a portfolio and is willing to work for a lower price.

You'll want to have decorations for the venue as well. Some places will include these things, others will charge for things like chair covers and the like. For our centerpieces, we skipped on the traditional floral route (which can run you $150+ per arrangement) and filled jars with homemade chocolate chip cookies... they were a hit!

Favours are another detail. We made cake pops in our wedding colours and gave them out. I've seen bags of specialty tea, mints in fancy containers, or even tiny trees for people to take home and plant in their gardens.

Invitations can be very pricey if you get the fancy kits from craft stores, but if you design your own you can get them printed at a print shop inexpensively. Ours were very plain with just lyrics from one of my favourite songs on the front, so we did ours at home.

You may want to register. Big stores often have a registry service so that you can tag items that you would like for gifts. It's a great time to get household items if you are going to be moving in for the first time. We had been living together for a while, so we didn't register. You can also register with travel agents (for a honeymoon) or for a down payment on a house!

Now for the big ones...

What are the attendants on either side going to wear? Opinions vary on this, but I think it's tacky to make the groomsmen pay for a tux/suit rental, or to make the bridesmaids pay for a dress in a weird colour that they'll only wear once. We had the guys wear their own black suits (most people own one already) and a white shirt, while we provided a tie in our wedding colour. I only had one bridesmaid (my maid of honour was a man of honour) and we got her dress at David's Bridal for an incredibly reasonable price.

What are you going to wear? It's easy to get caught up in things, but wedding dresses are crazy. They're expensive, they're uncomfortable and they're heavy! If you're getting married in the summer, steer clear of the huge laced-up dresses with the crinolines underneath, because they trap heat and weigh about 25 lbs. My friend nearly fainted at her wedding for this very reason. I got a tea-length dress at David's Bridal because it was more practical for outdoors. One of my friends who is getting married got her dress at a regular clothing store! For shoes, don't wear anything high-heeled if you'll be outside, and make sure you can walk in it all day. I wore cute flats in my wedding colour that I got from Wal-Mart, and nobody knew.

Are you and the girls going to have your hair and makeup done? You can get people to come to your home, or you can find a salon nearby. Be prepared for the $150+ it will cost for each of you. I had my hair done, but did my own makeup because I wanted to look like myself.

Who is going to marry you? It's best if you can get someone you know to do it. We had the best man's father, who is a pastor, and it was great because he's known my husband for years. The church charged a $200 fee. You will also need a marriage license. The rules on this vary depending on where you live. We had to get ours within 3 months of getting married.

What is your ceremony going to look like? We went casual, with a couple of funny readings and vows that we wrote ourselves, as well as a non-denominational prayer. Some officiants will be stricter on this than others.

I know this seems like an awful lot. Trust me, I was super overwhelmed when I had to plan my wedding. And things go wrong. Because of a mail strike before our wedding, our invitations didn't get out until 3 weeks before. I forgot my shoes and had to run out the morning of to get a new pair. My bridesmaid's zipper broke on the back of her dress and my mother ended up sewing her into it. The best part was, I was so relaxed that all of this was just another funny story that we remember when we look back on that day. Try to keep in mind that a wedding is just a party, and that the important part is who you're getting married to. No matter whether your wedding costs $500 or $50 000, you're getting the same amazing thing out of it... a lifelong commitment to someone else!

Absolutely switch brands. I had this problem at one point when I was younger, when Always changed something in the chemistry of their pads. They added a scent or some sort of chemical, and I started having allergic reactions to them.

To switch brands, you'll probably have to talk to your mother. Just explain that you think you're having a reaction to the pads you're using, and that you want to try a different kind. Make sure that whatever you're getting is unscented.

This probably goes without saying, but make sure that you're not wearing your pads for too long, and I'll echo Razhie in saying that you should skip thongs while using pads.

It's all up to your personal preference, but that doesn't help much, does it?

Personally, I used pads for the first year or so, then switched to tampons during the day, pads at night later on. Now I don't even use either, because I found the menstrual cup (like the DivaCup or MoonCup) and you couldn't pay me to go back. The menstrual cup is made of silicone and it's reusable. I find it more reliable than tampons.

You may find that you would prefer to use pads until you are more familiar with your periods. That way you don't have any nasty surprises when you have a heavy flow day, and you don't end up using too high an absorbency on a light day.

If you're comfortable talking to your mother about this sort of thing, you might want to discuss it with her. All women have been in your position at some point :)

In addition to what Braiden has said, I would also like to add the following little bit of advice.

If you find yourself eating just for the sake of having something to do, it can be stopped pretty easily. I used to do the same thing, and I managed to quit snacking in front of the TV by taking up hobbies that occupy my hands. So now instead of eating while I watch a movie, you might see me knitting, crocheting, cross-stitching, embroidering, tatting or doing a paint-by-number. Anything like that can really keep your hands occupied so you don't feel the need to eat. So find something fairly mindless that you can do in front of the TV, and you might be surprised.

Absolutely not.

If it's hurting while it's in, it's probably too low. Try making an effort to push it in further. If it's hurting to take it out, you're using too low of an absorbency, and that's leaching the moisture out of your vaginal walls, making the tampon stick and tear at your skin. Ouch!

Personally, I always liked using Tampax Pearl, because the plastic applicator is smoother than a cardboard one. It'll take some trial and error before you figure out what you like.

Another option you may not have heard of is the menstrual cup (like the Diva Cup, or the Instead cup). Instead of using a cotton tampon, you pop in a silicone cup that you rinse out a couple times a day. I find it easier on my body and much less icky than tampons.

I got married almost a year ago after a long engagement.

One thing I like to pass on to other brides-to-be is that the most important thing is to remember that it's just a fancy party. The wedding only lasts one day, so it's not worth putting yourself in debt and stressing yourself to death over.

I spent $3500 on my wedding. No, that's not a typo. We had an afternoon picnic in the park for ours, with a friend for a photographer and a cake made by another friend of ours. It was casual and a lot of fun, and I really wouldn't have done it any differently. I wasn't stressed, I wasn't under pressure from relatives, and I didn't really care if I impressed people or not. The best part is that friends of ours who got married a year before us still haven't paid their wedding debt, and ours was paid cash up front!

No matter what kind of wedding you have, be it a $100 000 extravaganza or a $100 city hall ceremony, you're going to come out with the same thing. You go home married at the end of the day no matter how much you spend. That's the truly important part, and if you can keep that in mind, you won't agonize so much over the colour of the chair covers and where to sit your great-aunt Bertha.

Also, make sure you put some elements in that are unique to you. I walked down the aisle to a song by the Smashing Pumpkins. We had a couple of funny readings during the ceremony, and an entirely non-denominational ceremony as well. It was all very much what we wanted. Don't let anyone force you into a magazine wedding that makes you feel like you don't belong there.

I also don't really have many female friends. We had a small wedding party (2 on each side), so my bridesmaid was my sister and I had a man of honour, since my best friend is a guy. We had a blast, so I definitely recommend having your true best friend up there with you, whether male or female.

It's not the voltage that's dangerous, it's the current. Current is how fast electricity is moving through a system, voltage is how much electricity.

For an example, you can use water. If it has 100m^3 of water in it, but it's moving very slowly, it can be perfectly safe. If it's moving very quickly, like through a fire hose, it can be very dangerous.

So a lower amperage would be safer, even if it's a higher voltage.

Part of the weirdness of the situation depends on the timing. Is this immediately after you, or are you looking from a few years back?

Depending on your age, it's not so uncommon to look back and see that a bunch of exes have moved on to get married and even have kids. It's not necessarily so much you sending them into commitment as it is that time of peoples' lives, where they're looking to settle down with someone.

Finding the right person isn't just about luck. It's about working hard to make your life mesh with that other person once you find them, about compromising and accepting things about them that you may not like. Eventually, you will find someone worth working for. Until then, just keep searching :)

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

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