|
He's going to boot camp. I support him, but...
Hi there, 24/f, he's the same age. I'm the dork who posted the question about hearing wedding bells in less than a year.
So it turns out that my wonderful, devoted guy may be going to state police boot camp in a month. He had originally intended to go next year, but they're trying to get him in sooner. I told him if they want him, he should go. I am completely supportive of this endeavor, and I think he'd be perfect for the job. The only problem is - and he just told me this morning - that he won't have access to a computer, and rarely a phone. He'll be able to come home some weekends, and I don't know about "snail mail," but we'll have very little contact. Does anyone know if they allow mail?
We live an hour away from one another to begin with, so we're used to a slight long-distance thing, but he works near me right now, so we've been seeing each other more and he stays with me frequently, even if it's just overnight. When he's working closer to home, we keep in touch via - you guessed it - technology. So obviously, things are going to change quite a bit. We'll have much less contact than we already do, and I hate to sound girly about it, but I miss him the second he walks out my door, even if I'm seeing him later the same day.
I have no doubt we'll still be together when all is said and done, but how am I supposed to handle barely being in contact with him at all for five months while he's close enough for me to drive to (and I'm not allowed to go see him)?
Thanks in advance for your help.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
About whether or not they can receive mail I'm not sure, but I sure as heck know about being away from each other for long periods of time.
My husband is in the army reserves. For the first 4 summers of our relationship he had to go away to work for them in various parts of the country. That meant 4 months of every year was spent away from each other after living together for 8 months.
There's no easy way to handle it. I'm not going to lie, I spent a lot of nights in tears, especially when I would find out that he wouldn't be able to give me my weekly phone call for 3 weeks straight because he was in the field. It's not easy. There's no way to make it easy. All you can really do is distract yourself and remember that it's for the greater good that he's doing this.
When my husband was away, I learned the amazing trick of developing hobbies to pass the time. I taught myself how to knit. I taught myself how to crochet. I did paint by numbers. I did embroidery and cross stitch. I learned how to sew. I got a fish and spoiled it like crazy. I trained our dog and kept the house spotless. I got an extra part time job to keep me busy. I volunteered. You name it, I probably did it in the name of keeping myself from opportunities to cry and feel sorry for myself.
Like any horrible life event, this too shall pass. It's just a case of reminding yourself of that when it starts to feel like it will be forever.
]
The answer to most of your questions on visitation, leave policy, phone calls and all of that will be told to him on his first day in the Academy. Snail mail will be allowed as will eventually phone calls home.
Since the five months include 3 of our closest held holidays I will guess that they will offer leave during at least two of them if not all three. The military allowed leaves for Christmas and New Years while in basic training I see no reason why the State Police would not although it is possible they may not as the job is a 24/7 365 day type job.
Twenty weeks is not all that long. Most State Police follow the same policy in their training Academies why I'm not sure. I believe it is so the recruits have only one thing to concentrate on. Be proud of your guy for as a State Police Officer he is in the elite of the Police Officers within your state. The best of the best.
For your part, you need to be supportive and grin and bear it. He is going to be doing an important job. One that there is little thanks for. One that allows him to see a part of life most of us don't see and none of us should have to see. As a fire fighter I have seen that side of life and it is not pretty. Please thank him for me for the service he will be giving his community. There are those of us out here that do support him. I am one of them.
]
More Questions: |