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We've only been together a year and I'm already planning the wedding...
Hi, 24/f here. My guy's the same age.
Bear with me here, this is a really weird question to ask since it's not really negative, but I'm starting to think I've officially lost my mind.
I've been with other guys for longer and never actually started working out wedding details in my head. I was even LIVING with a guy and didn't do this. I'm also a very independent, strong woman, so this is very... girly for me:
With this guy, we haven't even had our official anniversary, and we've already discussed and planned little things, like our reception favors, the theme, the colors, our "first dance" song, I've started learning the piano accompaniment to a song I want to sing to him at the ceremony, and he's apparently already picked his groomsmen. He's told me once he gets his career going and comes back from training in about a year, he wants to get me a ring and get engaged, so he's even got a timeline in mind.
As a psychologist and a survivor of domestic violence, I'd think that if he's already thinking these things he must have an ulterior motive of control, or that everything is very premature in general - who starts planning this shit after less than a year together? (Granted, we knew one another in high school and have remained in contact since then, but we didn't start dating until last year) - but I haven't seen any red flags, and believe me, I've been looking.
I know it's normal for girls to look at wedding dresses and daydream about all that stuff and whatnot, but the daydreams and emotions I have connected with all that and him are SO vivid. I've even had vivid, almost lucid dreams about our future. I've seen him in it, and I've seen our little girl in it, and when I woke up, for a minute I could feel the weight of her head on my shoulder.
Have I lost my mind, has my biological clock started ticking, or is this how everyone feels when they find their soul mate?
He's my best friend, we know everything about one another, our friends like us (together and individually), his parents have effectively adopted me as their daughter, and mine have finally started treating him as their son...
I don't know... I just feel like everything is too perfect. We've had little fights. We live about an hour apart right now. I've yelled at him, he's hurt my feelings, I've hurt his, etc., and we've talked it all out as it comes up. Am I feeling this because I'm used to being abused? I just worry that I'm missing something.
Thoughts?
Thanks to everyone who reads my babble and has a response.
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I think what is happening is you are officially head over heels and it is a great feeling, me and my guy were 2gether 2 months before we were engaged and are now getting married next year. I have had a tough run different to yours but heartbreak non the less in my personal life and keep waiting on the other shoe to drop and it doesnt thankfully seem to be happening. So try and I know its hard but try to stop waiting and just go with it. You say about the arguements these will happen all the time but as long as you talk through them as they happen and resolve them then that sets everything back. Things wont always be perfect but I guess what am saying is we can have a version of the fairy tale, may not be perfect but its there! I hope you guys do get that little girl and that you live happy together for as long you live!!
Sorry if I havent helped much, I hope I have though!!
Yours,
Dxxxxxxxx
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It sounds to me like you're overthinking a happy, normal, healthy relationship.
I can tell you that it's not impossible to start hearing wedding bells soon after starting to date someone. Both my husband and I were pretty sure that we were going to end up married by the time 3 months had rolled around, and we were engaged at 11 months. We waited for another 4 years before actually tying the knot after that, but it does go to show that you can be committed in that way even after a short amount of time, and with no sneaky ulterior motives on his part.
If you're not sure about it, just wait it out. There's always time to figure out exactly what it is you want from a relationship.
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