Age:
28Member Since:
December 1, 2010Answers:
3046Last Update:
December 22, 2014Visitors:
56607Favorite Columnists
Dragonflymagic
solidadvice4teens
rainhorse68
AdviceMistress
adviceman49
Jasmine23
Razhie
NinjaNeer
LaMarionnette
flare
nascarfan1987
more...
about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
When i was in middle school i was molested by my friends dad, and ever since then i have never looked at an older guy in a physical way. I'm 21 now and i work with a 40 year old who is insanley good looking for his age. He showed intrest in me and we've hung out a few times. The first time he tried to kiss me i felt VERY uncomfortable and said now, but each time we hung out i started to like him that much more, so we ended up making out. One night after drinking, we went back to his place and he tried kissing me more but i was tired so i started to pass out. I felt him taking my pants off, and then my underwear and he started to go down on me and then he had sex with me. I was pretending to be "passed out" the whole time, but he didn't know. So what's wrong with me? I think i didn't want him to know i was awake because i didn't want things to be awkward at work from then on, and i may have secretely wanted to have sex with him but didn't know what to do. What do you guys think my problem is? Because i still can't get him out of my mind. I just can't believe i could ever like someone 19 years older than me who technically raped me.
You can find all your answers from the same question you asked 2 days ago here..
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=592274
i am only 12 years old and today in school i like totally got stained and i didn't expect t to be this much. How can i find out when it is gonna be over with because im am so tired of it.
As embarrassing as it seems, Know that you are not the only one who has ever had this problem. Many women have had the same problem.
Periods are just one of those things that we can't tell you when it is going to be over with, Sometimes it last days and other times it could last a week or more every women is different. If you are worried about bleeding through your pants, You may want to try using 2 pads instead of one. If you are in pain, Trying using a heating pad.
ok so first, i'm 21, i met this exchange student at my university, he's at class with me, we started dating and i saw he was interested, i was a virgin, i lost my virginity to him, i'm pretty sure he isnt seeing other girls other than me, but i dont get it, when im with him he's the sweetest guy EVER he holds my hand always holds me and kisses me even at night when i stay at his he always holds me (eventho i dont like being hold when sleeping) or he holds my hand when we're asleep, sweet things like that...but we have been seeing each other since mid january, he will leave in may, a long distance realtionship isnt an option and i dont even know if we have a relationship now, but sometimes i feel he just wants to see me for sex, sometimes i go 4 days without knowing of him, and i get the feeling when im online on facebook chat he instantly goes offline, i'm almost sure this is no coincidence.. i dont know what to do or how to bring it up ... he sees me in class and kisses me after class and usually makes plans like hey do you wanna go for a movie tomorrow maybe :) and hes really sweet, but then i go days without knowing of him speaking to him or even a text, if i text him he texts back, but that's it, i dont know what to do, how do i end this? i dont know how to tell him that i dont know if we were dating or not but i dont like things to be this casual and not exclusive cause he could easily be dating someone else at the same time cause he has no commitment with me, and still i feel STUPID for asking for commitment when he is leaving SO soon or an explanation of what are we ? bf gf? friends who have sex ? we arent exactly friends tbh... deep down i feel, it isnt a bf gf relationship, so id feel dumb by asking him, cause it feels like just a hook up friends with benefits or something but i have NEVER been in this situation this is so unlike me ! i wanna end it cause i dont like feeling like when i see his friends i once heard them speaking about me they didnt knew i was there (the guy wasnt there, i only heard his friends ) like saying that i was hot and talking about my body etc, so i can only imagine what they think like yeaaa man you're sleeping with this hot girl with no strings attached ;)! and id HATE for something like that to be thought by others to be honest but im pretty sure its the case :S cause we are not in a relationship on facebook, his guys friends know we go out and all that but still i feel uncomfortable by maybe being looked as the girl who hooks up with his friend :S i feel i dont ask him for anything and i dont know what to do !! also i feel so awkward when people like his friends or people in class ask if we are dating! and hes close there and i ignore i was asked that question and he once answered yes to "is she your gf" but i saw it kind of doubtful in his voice! i felt he just said yes because i was there! (ALSO we once spoke about this, like how in france you dont ask a girl if she wants to be your gf, you just assume she is already after a period of time you've been dating, and i told him that for us it was different (hes french, im mex) that for us we always have to know where are we standing one does not assume you have a gf or bf , you have to be asked, but we werent talking about US , just about things in general so i feel i missed my chance or maybe he meant to say we were considered bf gf? idk :( ) i dont know how to bring the subject up !!!
from one part i wanna end it cause i feel deep down used,,but on the other part i feel, i dont care i love having sex with him cause he is SO attractive, and ive never ever thought this way tbh and ive dated hotter guys before but theres something about him that makes me feel so good when he holds me eventho i know he may not have feelings for me cause he has never said anything like that besides that im beautiful and very pretty etc. but never like ....idont know meaninful stuff...
from one part i wanna end it , on the other i think..he is leaving soon so im gonna enjoy while it lasts, but i dont wanna be seen as the girl he's hooking up with !! but at the same time i am enjoying sleeping with him ! and i dont know what to do please i really need some advice my head is so messed up!!! sorry its long :(
how could i bring the subject up?! because i feel we have just a hook up relationship sometimes ! so i would feel stupid by bringing the subject of a relationship up :S
Have you ever heard the old saying "He's just not that into you?"
If he was interested in you then he would make time to talk to you. Nobody is busy to the point where they can't make a 5 minute phone call a day to see how someone is doing. If he says so, That's a bullshit excuse. I am a full time college student, I study and I got a job as a DJ on the side but you know what else? I still make time to see my partner.
You said it, The guy isn't fully committed to you and your pretty much wasting your breathe with this one. If you have to ask if you are in a relationship then you aren't in one because if you were you would know it. If you want to end things you simply tell him "Sorry it took so long for me to tell you but I don't think we are going to work out. I would of told you sooner but I wasn't sure how to word it" It's direct and simple. If you want someone who is committed to you then you have to put behind what you've got in order to find it.
this may be long. sorry but i need help..
my phone got stolen a few weeks ago so I have been using the house phone to talk to my boyfriend. well the other night he was out to dinner with his friends so i went and got my moms phone to text him. She has about 300 unread emails, and she got a new one. I didn't want the LED light to be flashing since I was using it to know when my bf texts me. So i was gonna open then close the email.
Turns out it was from her "lover."
This isn't the first time I have "caught" her. When I was in about 7th grade, I opened up her email thinking it was mine and read some stuff. Showed my sister, she talked to her whatever. I was young.
Well this time, I showed my sister, and she told me to reply to it. So I did, saying "this is ___ daughter, you better pray my dad, sister and I never find you."
We decided to leave his and my email on her phone so she can see. The next day she came and said "you sister thinks im cheating on your dad?" and i said we read the emails blah blah blah and that I'm the one who emailed him back. She was shocked.
The emails weren't anything sexual but she did say she "loved him more" and that they should meet up.
Turns out he works where my mom does. My mom cleans offices (as do i, at the same place) and she "ran into him."
shes lying. the one email said "i want more of your sweet kisses" from him. her excuse "he gave me a kiss on the cheek."
the emails never said "i had fun with you" ect. She told my dad she had a "crush" on him when she worked somewhere else a few years ago. so it might be true that she "ran into him" and hasnt been "seeing" him long.
So, idk how I feel. Its no surprise that my mom is unhappy. they fight and she use to tell us "when you guys are both 18 im leaving your dad" well im now 19 soon to be 20 and my sister is 23.
Like my sister is all upset and cant believe this is happening, as to where I am just like "okay." I haven't cried, yelled or anything. Tonight both my dad and sister were "yelling" at my mom and I just sat here. I haven't called her names, the only thing I said was "i don't want to talk to you" but I love my mom, i'm a mommys girl.
I don't know if its just not hitting me yet or I have a better control of myself. she left the house tonight, wont pick up her cell, probably bc im calling from the house, and I have no idea where shes at. I'm worried.
Do you guys think something is wrong with me bc I "dont care" about her cheating? yes, its wrong and she shouldn't have. But at the same time im like whatever....:\
You were wrong, You should of kept out of your mothers business.
There may be more behind the situation involving your mother and father than you know. You were wrong to reply, You were wrong for showing your sister. Whether you like it or not, Your mother is not entitled to be in a marriage if she isn't happy. As I understand your upset with her for cheating, This is a situation that should be between your mother and father. The way you approached the situation was wrong.
What you could of done instead: Was approach your mother and express how the emails made you feel and your concerns on the situation, Not reply.
I think your mother is wrong for not being honest with your father about seeing someone else.
Your mother is unhappy because she was caught red handed, She's guilty but on the other hand she wasn't caught by her husband..She was caught by her daughter. My advise: From here on out let her and your father handle the situation and stay out of it.
EDIT: You don't like the truth, Then don't ask. Obviously you are too immature to hear it.
What does the word prude mean??
As I don't know how to put it into words, I'll make it easier by posting this:
Word History: Being called a prude is rarely considered a compliment, but if we dig into the history of the word prude, we find that it has a noble past. The change for the worse took place in French. French prude first had a good sense, "wise woman," but apparently a woman could be too wise or, in the eyes of some, too observant of decorum and propriety. Thus prude took on the sense in French that was brought into English along with the word, first recorded in 1704. The French word prude was a shortened form of prude femme (earlier in Old French prode femme), a word modeled on earlier preudomme, "a man of experience and integrity." The second part of this word is, of course, homme, "man." Old French prod, meaning "wise, prudent," is from Vulgar Latin prdis with the same sense. Prdis in turn comes from Late Latin prde, "advantageous," derived from the verb prdesse, "to be good." Despite this history filled with usefulness, profit, wisdom, and integrity, prude has become a term of reproach.
It's an insult, Be careful who you call a prude.
I am married with 2 children. I had an affair with a black man and I am white. I have tried for three months to work on my marriage and had no contact with him. I miss him terribly but have not divorced my husband bc he is a good dad and good husband. Everyone says it would be hard for them to adjust to someone black. It has been 3 months since contact with this other man. The feelings are not going away and I am trying to do what is best for my kids. Am i doing the righ thing? What is your opinion?
You had an affair with another man, Is that right? No.
Race shouldn't matter, It is about what makes you happy. Who cares if the person is black, white, orange or purple. It shouldn't be about what someone looks like, It's about who they are and how they make you feel.
If you aren't happy in your marriage then you need to the right thing and discuss it with your husband. Having an affair isn't going to make things right or better, If you want to be with the other man then be with him but do it the right way by letting your husband know how you feel and that you want out of the marriage. Your children may not adjust right away, In fact they may never adjust to the fact that their mother is no longer married to their father. However, In time your children will learn to respect that it is the way it is and hopefully learn to let you live your life the way YOU want too. As much as you feel you want to do what is right for your children, You shouldn't have to sacrifice your happiness and stay in a marriage you aren't happy being in. Do the right thing and tell your husband.
I have this guy who used to babysit me when I was 7. I am now 18, and have just moved back to england after leaving for american for 10 years. He always messages me on facebook and I dont even remember him! He is atleast 30 years old. He wanted to go out on a date, so i agreed just to see who this guy was. In the end, I ended up getting really drunk and ended up at his house. I woke up in the morning not even remembering what happened when we got there. He has a big American flag above his bed. I am scared he is a bit to into me.. can you please tell me if im just over exaggerating??
If you don't like him then tell him, Don't lead him on. You got drunk, When to his house and god knows what happened..
A stalker?..No, I wouldn't exactly call it stalking. You are of legal age and it the guy probably likes you and figures now is a good time to try and lure you into going on a date with him. If you don't want him to contact you, Then BLOCK him on facebook and stop talking to him and eventually he should get the bigger picture.
okay so im in love with my ex boyfriend still and he still loves me but says he doesn't want to go out with me again because we fight too much. i have tried to plea with, do i just give up? any quotes or advice would be good.
If he doesn't want to date you, Then it's a waste of time trying to get him to reason with you to make it work out. I agree with the user below me, If you two really loved one another you would find a way to work it out. You can't force someone to be with you, If he doesn't want to date you then it's his loss.
hey i am a 7th grader and i really want to be a prep but i just don't know how? if anybody can help me please do thankyou
Preppy girls tend to be really suck up and snotty, My advice: Be yourself, Don't try and be someone your not. It won't give you a better word, It won't make people like you. It's a whole lot better to be who you are then to be someone who's fake.
ok so here it goes I like this guy that goes to the mental health center that I go to and iam 22 years old and he's 40 years old and the manager there says we can't date each other becouse of the age difference what should I do?
You are an adult, Nobody can't tell you whom and who you cannot date. If the manager doesn't like the idea of you two having a relationship then take it outside the mental health center. Nobody needs to know your business you are both adults and you make your own choices.
Okay so I'm in a wicked sticky situation. There's this guy and he is absolutely the hottest thing you will ever set your eyes on. (: He's not all that tall but I don't mind cause I'm only 5'1". But he's got blond hair, amazing brown eyes and a body that kills. I am so attracted to him and the other day he asked me, If I wanted to have sex with him. I was like "YES" but, the only place we could do it would be in our highschool, Risky I know. But I really want too. I've already lost my virginity so it's not like the first time I have sex will be in a school bathroom but just.. any thoughts? should I do it? thanks.
I'm going to be blunt
Don't do it
If the guy flat out asked you if you wanted to have sex with him then obviously that's all he cares about. Show yourself some respect and if you caught...Yes, You will likely be suspended or expelled from school.
If anyone finds out, You could cause yourself to have a bad word from other peers at your school. If you want to be stupid and take the risk..Go for it but know actions come with consequences.
Okay I have this friend and we weren't talking for a while because we were in a fight and I was really mad. So everyday my family would be like "are you friends again??" and I would say no because I was always mad but just yesterday we became friends again but I felt like I only am friends with her because my family wouldnt stop asking me and I am still mad about what she did and my family didn't even think how I felt all they wanted was my friend and I just don't know what to do help!!!!!!!!!
If you don't want to maintain a friendship with her then break if off. Trying to be someone's friend to get people to stop hounding you of the situation is not going to make things better. If your family asked if you are talking to her again you simply reply with "No I am not, I don't plan on it and I don't want to keep discussing it" be direct about it and if they keep on asking you keep on giving them the same answer.
at lunch, this guy always touches my hair, my chin or behind my ear when he walks past or behind me. this touching thing started after he told me he just wanted to be friends in order to not possibly ruin our friendship(after going out ONE TIME). i know he likes me and he knows i like him. i don't know what to make of all his touchy attention, whether it be in the hallway, or at lunch. why is he teasing me like this, and how should i react to it? i don't want to admit it, but he's making it awkward to talk to. we've been friends for years!!!
Your friend may like you but his touching habits are a bit inappropriate for someone who said they want to be your friend, I would talk to him about it. Tell him you are more than fine with being friends but when he touches you it makes you feel uncomfortable. Communicate
i have a story and a question- so here's the thing... i sent my former teacher two letters of appreciation, then she sent me back a thankyou letter. then, because i was so excited to get a letter from her, i sent her another letter saying thanks for replying and congrats on her new baby that she mentioned in her letter. she didn't respond, so i sent her another letter talking about random stuff and questions so she would have to reply back. when several months passed, i finally figured out that a possible reason for her not responding to my letters was that she didn't want to talk anymore. so, finally, i sent her another letter apoligizing and explaining why i kept sending her letters and how i really just wanted to talk to her and sorry for any inconvenience. so my question is do you think she's mad at me? i feel so embarrassed and there's no way for me to talk to her because she moved and even if i did have her number, i wouldn't call her or show up at her house like a stalker... this is humiliating. do you think i overdid it by sending the apology? do you think she appreciated the apology(that is if she was annoyed with the other letters- which by the way, were not anything bad) she knows me by the way, she knows i'm a good kid. she said it herself in the letter that sent me. what's your opinion? thanks!!=]]
Your teacher showed appreciation to the first letter by replying back too you, Therefore I think you should of ended right there. You congratulated her on her new baby but on the other hand this all personal information and I'm assuming she either could be busy with her lifestyle or doesn't feel it would be appropriate to continue writing letters to you about her lifestyle. The first letter was a nice gesture but I wouldn't keep sending her letters.
I've recently reconnected with a guy I met at school who I have always had a thing for. We are both from the same city but are in different places for university. We have always stayed in touch and been friends but recently we have been talking everyday and although nothing has actually happened yet, it's pretty clear that it will do. We have arranged to meet up when we are both back in our hometown which will be in a week or so.
The problem is not only do we live really far away from each other during term time (our universities are about 6 hours apart) but at the end of June I am going to work in another country for nearly three months over the Summer.
I don't know whether it's sensible to get more attached and start a relationship with him if I'm going to leave and only be able to see him during breaks after that. I struggle with insecurities and homesickness as it is and I worry that being in a long distance relationship will exacerbate things. What do you think?
I'm 19 and he's 21.
Long distant relationships are extremely hard to maintain and they take a lot of hard work and commitment.
I'm going to be honest with you, 6 hours apart is exhausting. You also mentioned you will be working in another country for 3 months. Now here is the tricky question: Can you handle the stress of being apart that long if you two were to have a relationship? Are you able to financially make arrangements to see him frequently?
Now before you answer that one, I would like to share something with you...
I was in a long distant relationship for 5 years, The travel wasn't 6 hours it was 3. At first everything seemed perfect the traveling wasn't much of a hassle as I tend to enjoy it. However, After awhile the traveling became draining and stressful...Money was tight and traveling prices were on the rise and our relationship began to take a toll.
This is all up too you but I think you pretty much answered your own question to whether it will really work out or not.
Now people probably see this kind of story all the time, but I am in a position where I constantly think I am overweight. I am 13, 5 feet 6 inches tall, and weigh 120 lb. But before continuing this let me get something straight. I am a very happy person with talent, friends, good grades, and I know I am pretty even if others tell me otherwise. So I am optomistic even despite the thoughts of being fat. I work out often, strive to eat right, etc. I am just wondering if anyone would be able to tell me if I am healthy. Thank you so much for your time with much love.
You are healthy, In fact you are very healthy.
120 at 5'6 is far from fat
Please, help me! My 16 boy is very thin. He had a few friends and they were not good for him. Anyway, I thought he'd see it in time. Well, one of them came and fought him at my house and one videoed it. It got online and the teasing got worse. My son said if I do something it will get worse. Fast forward to today, my son has these boys picking on him at school and coming to my house in a group to fight. Luckily, he wasn't home but the boys saw me and told me they wanted to chill with him. HELP I want to beat the shit out of all of them.
Go to the police, Tell them the situation and what is going on.
Let the school know your son is being bullied, As much as your son insist the situation would get worse it's a hell of a lot better to let people be aware of the situation then to not say a word to anyone. You got proof, Bring it too the police. Tell them you fear for your sons safety. In the meantime don't allow your son to walk alone, Make sure he is with a group of friends or have someone with him. Next time they step foot on the property tell them to leave or you will call the police and if they don't then pick up the phone and call them.
There IS a good chance the cops will do little action but another thought...Have your son take some self defense classes.
this is kinda weird but my boyfriend gave me this perfume (bvlgari jasmin noir) for my birthday and i was just being myself and went to check how much it costed online it's a 5ml and it said it's a tester which probably meant it was free, should i be upset about this?
I did some research, From what I've found the bottle isn't THAT cheap it's around 20 bucks.
Also, Why would you be upset? It's a gift from your boyfriend. It's the thought that counts not how much he spent. Be thanksful
20 female.
So every one tells me that i still look really pretty without make-up. I won't lie i will go out in public without make-up and it doesn't bother me. I do usually wear make-up when I go outbut I'm not like some girls where they have to always have make-up on. Usually when I'm around guys, and its night time or something I'll take a shower and so I'll have no make-up on and my hair will be all gross haha (my hair is kind of wavy, but not cute when i leave it naturally) My best friend that i'm always with freaks out whenever a guy might have to see her without make-up and I don't see it as a big deal. Sometimes I feel less pretty around her because I won't have any make-up after a shower and she will be all done up still though.
For instance. Last weekend we were at a hotel and four of our guys friends stayed with us in the same room. I just had to take a shower because I always do at night so I don't feel gross. So i had no make-up on and my hair not done. I guess I didn't really care. But my friend got in the shower and just washed her body off and didn't get her hair wet and didn't take her make-up off.
I guess my question is, do guys really care if a girl doesn't ALWAYS have her make-up on? I asked one of my guy friends that night at the hotel if i looked different without make-up because people tell me i don't look that different and he said "no, but that's a good thing!" i don't want to be walking around sometimes without make-up with me thinking it's not a big deal and guys are thinking "oh gross, whats she doing"
Any comments are welcomed thanks!
All guys are different, They all like different things.
Some guys like clowns, Other guys like a plain face.
Looks shouldn't matter it isn't about what you look like and if it is, Then the guy is a shallow ass.
Beauty is on the inside I really believe too many woman are focused on their appearance to make a guy happy and so they feel they are more appealing to them. I honestly think a little makeup is okay but sometimes I find woman to be more attractive without make up. Women are so hung up on trying to look good that they always forget that looks aren't what matters. Only shallow guys care about looks but again not ever dude is a shallow asshole. Who cares if you don't wear makeup personally I like the natural look, When a woman is natural it makes me think they are less insecure about themselves. So to answer your question..No not every guy cares.
The mental health center is doing a drug test and I Smoked weed 2 days ago and i was wanted to know how to get weed out of your system?
Depends on how much you smoked,
(How long does weed stay in your system) all depends on your metabolism but in general weed usually stays in the body for few weeks. (Anywhere from 2-90 days usually)