|
falling inlove with the opposite race while married
I am married with 2 children. I had an affair with a black man and I am white. I have tried for three months to work on my marriage and had no contact with him. I miss him terribly but have not divorced my husband bc he is a good dad and good husband. Everyone says it would be hard for them to adjust to someone black. It has been 3 months since contact with this other man. The feelings are not going away and I am trying to do what is best for my kids. Am i doing the righ thing? What is your opinion?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You had an affair with another man, Is that right? No.
Race shouldn't matter, It is about what makes you happy. Who cares if the person is black, white, orange or purple. It shouldn't be about what someone looks like, It's about who they are and how they make you feel.
If you aren't happy in your marriage then you need to the right thing and discuss it with your husband. Having an affair isn't going to make things right or better, If you want to be with the other man then be with him but do it the right way by letting your husband know how you feel and that you want out of the marriage. Your children may not adjust right away, In fact they may never adjust to the fact that their mother is no longer married to their father. However, In time your children will learn to respect that it is the way it is and hopefully learn to let you live your life the way YOU want too. As much as you feel you want to do what is right for your children, You shouldn't have to sacrifice your happiness and stay in a marriage you aren't happy being in. Do the right thing and tell your husband.
]
First off, your decision shouldn't be based on race. A man is a good man no matter what color he is. Children are usually more accepting then any other age group.
If you are to leave your husband, it shouldn't be based on one guy. It should be based on the fact that you don't love your husband anymore, you can't make it work, and it's unhealthy for the whole family to keep the marriage going.
Don't leave your husband just to get with the black man, he may not be waiting for you or things may not work out.
I suggest couples counseling before making any rash decisions. Think about all the things you love about your husband and what made you fall for him in the first place. Give this heavy consideration.
Good luck,
-Abby
]
It really doesn't matter what race you are, having an affair is not the answer to an unhappy relationship. Ask yourself these questions:
1. Are you happy in your marriage? If the answer is "no", then why is that?
2. Does the person you had an affair with feel the same about you? It might be that they thought it was a one-time thing and don't want to have a serious relationship with you.
3. Is there any possible way you could improve your relationship with your husband? If so, you should really explore that alternative, because in your words: "He is a good dad and good husband".
Get counseling to try to stay with your husband. Whatever you do, DO NOT confess the affair to him unless you want to end the relationship. That is, don't try to get rid of your own guilt if you feel bad about the affair. You're just going to have to live with that.
What's best for your kids is that they live in a home with a mom and dad who love each other and them. If that's not possible in any way, then you need to divorce your husband. However, you really should try to work it out with him if possible because kids of divorce have a general tendency towards drugs and premature sexual activity.
]
More Questions: |