I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
Answers: 577
Last Update: December 1, 2010
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does anyone know of songs that basically say, it feels like love when they're together, but the girl knows the guy is only acting and when they're apart, she knows he's probably off with some other girl and stuff? (link)
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Someday by Mariah Carey would be my top choice, but the others below could help as well.
Heartbreaker - Mariah Carey
We Belong Together - Mairah Carey
Don't Forget About Us - Mariah Carey
I Still Believe - Mariah Carey
My All - Mairah Carey
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I'm been bouncing up and down with my self confidence. I just truly wish i was less shy....I am talk I am black im smart and its hard to feel comfortable with myself and feel normal. How can i jus loosen up im kinda up tight and it bugs me but i jus wish i was more comfortable how can i do that? Please dont jus say let loose and love urself its easier said then done. (link)
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I was like this a while ago. I wasn't secure about how I looked and talked when I was around other people. It took me a while to get used to who I was and accept the person I was.
It seems to be the same thing for you. You quite a self-conscious person and you're constantly worrying about how you look or how people will react to you. What I did was to step right out of my comfort zone and did things which I thought I would never do before.
I would also recommend a book which is written by Debra Fine called "The Fine Art of Small Talk" which I also used to help me.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I've always felt that I was what many might consider a "sensitive". I feel things that I shouldn't feel, and know when something bad is going to happen in advance.
But, I want to bring the gift further, and use it to the best of my ability. Is anyone else like this? And if so, how can I strengthen my gift?
Thank you in advance. (link)
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If I've read this right, you're an empath (somebody who can pick up other people's feelings or emotions and experiance them) and slightly precognitive (gift of foresight).
The best way to bring your gifts forward is to use them in ways which could help others and not yourself. As you grow as a person, they too should grow and strengthen.
Another thing which helps is to trust in your abilities, if you feel something bad about to happen, then act upon that impulse.
I'm guessing that you're the king of guy/girl who cares about others and you don't want anything bad to happen to them, correct? If so, then they should continue to grow as long as you continue to care for others.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Hi, me and my bf have been dating for 2 years but since the past six months he's been less than caring and a total fake. He's been really selfish too. During this time, I started feeling something for his best friend Dan. I somehow feel that Dan liked me but he obviously wont tell. And I can never tell him how i feel coz you know, he will never hurt his best friend. And recently one of my best frenz leaked it to his frenz about this so he might be knowing it. The main problem is that I'm leaving for university (2022 miles away from him) and more than anyone I'm hurt that i'm leaving him. I really want him to know this. But my bf (who doesnt know) told me that Dan's got back with his ex (could be a lie). I am obviously burning in jealousy. But I'm frustrated because I think I love him and his shiny brown eyes, and the way he looks at me gives me shivers and........OK Help!!! (link)
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Before doing anything, I would talk to your boyfriend about as to why he was acting differently over the past few months and find out first. I would also see whether Dan really is going out with his ex, because there is no point in breaking up with your boyfriend and then finding out that Dan really is going out with somebody else.
I would also ask Dan as to what he feels for you, because there really is no point in breaking up with your boyfriend and find that Dan doesn't feel the same way about you. True, you said that you somehow feel that Dan likes you, but he may not. The problem is that you will need to tell him how you feel for him, if you ever want to go out with him, then you will need to tell him.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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16/f
ok so my friend is leaving for camp on sunday and she told her other friend from camp that she wouldn't go back to camp without having made out. so there's this kid who told her he would hook up with her... lets call him A. but she was too scared to do it. so i told her i would hook up with a different guy.. lets call him B if she hooked up with A. and she said fine. well the thing is.. i actually really like B and he likes me too. but we're like best friends and i feel like it would be really awkward. i don't know if it will like ruin our friendship or not. i know it probably will once we stop liking each other but what about now? i just don't know if i should go through with it or not.. even though i really want to. this would happen today so i'm like freaking out and stuff. HELP! (link)
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Would it surprise you if I told you that some relationships came from friendships? And that if that relationship fell through, the two became friends again?
There is always the risk of the relationship not working, but there is a greater chance of it working if the two of you remain honest with each other and be open about problems which they may have each other. Remaining true to each other and listening is the key to a fantastic relationship.
The problem is that you'll never know what will happen unless you go through with the relationship, otherwise, you may regret it in the future and think as to what life could have been like if you'd gone out with him in the first place. So go and give it a go.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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so i have serious confidence issues when it comes to men. if i dont know them or are a bit wary of them or even just in an uncomfortable situation. i freeze up. i wont talk, make eye contact or even talk to my girl friends till they've gone.
if it gets really bad i will start shaking and sweating pretty much uncontrollably. i will usually make an excuse and leave. i fear being left alone with a lad.
that is my worst nightmare as i cant handle the conversation and make a fool of myself which just makes me feel even worse. i just want to be rescued.
its never the individual's fault its just cos there are male. stupid i know but i have very irrational and fucked up thought processes.
i have never revealed the extent of this problem to anyone although i have briefly mentioned it to a few people.
the reasons may be to do with the lack of male presence in my life growing up. (my dad left when i was 4.)
i want to overcome it as im restricting myself to half of the population. im also desperately lonely and would love someone to talk to and be at ease with. my friends are great but they all have boyfriends so i tend to get pushed aside.
i dont know how to overcome it. but i know i want to do it. its just that im soooo scared.
any help??
(link)
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I don't think that this is a thought process gone wrong. It seems like there is something else which is restricting you in socialising with other guys.
I guessing that you're a kind of person who just likes to hang around with your own peers and friends and get nervous if something/somebody new comes in like a boy/boyfriend. You don't know how to act around them and that is what I want to focus upon.
With your dad leaving your mum when you were four, can you remember if that affected you in anyway emotionally, like being incredibly sad etc? If you can't remember, that's okay but try and remember. But could also could be from something else? Like an inner dread of boys or scared as to what they would think of you? Or could it be that you don't think that you're good enough for them. Or could it be that you're scared of getting into a realtionship which might not turn out well and he ends up leaving you, like your dad did when you were four.
Think about it for a while.
I would recommend that you talk to your mum because she was the one who went through the breakup, so she could help you more than anyone. I know that this may not be what you want to do, but trust me, it's best to bring this out into the open and let her know how you feel and what you're going through. And remember, she was once your age as well!!
I'm also going to tell you not to isolate yourself from boys right now, instead, I'm going to tell you to go and talk to some of friend's guy friends. Why? Because if you face your fear, then you get over this fear. They aren't going to bite, they aren't going to make fun of you. Jump off the diving board into the deep end and you'll find that you can survive and float with ease. Later in life, you'll be laughing at how you were so scared of me.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Life is God's most precious gift; no principle, however glorious, may justify the taking of it.
WHY DO YOU AGREE? (link)
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Just for the record, I don't believe in God.
Well, if God did create life, then the ones who live that life, should have the choice as what to do with it. In the end, it's their decision as to what they want to do with that life.
Taking your own or somebody else's is never glorious and it never will be, but there could be some justifications as to why:
1) If somebody pulled out a gun and threatened to kill you, what would you do? Would you stand there or would you try and defend your life?
2) If a teenager found out that she was pregnant, what would you tell her? Get an abortion or suffer the consequences after the child is born?
3) If somebody going through a mental breakdown, in deep depression, nobdy likes you, you're disabled AND that person is considering suicide. What would you tell that person? End their suffering or let them suffer?
Life is precious, but we as species of this planet must make our own decisions. We meet tough choices throughout our lives, some more than others. We either kill because we hate each other or we kill because we feel that somebody is being a threat to us and we feel that they've got to be stopped.
Well, that's my insight on the matter.
So to sum that up, I don't agree (you might as well have a 'For and Against' answer to this question, more views on the subject) that 'no princile, however glorious, may justiy the taking of it' because there nearly always is a justification.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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i need help finding songs that talk about:
a guy that is in love with a girl but she doesnt know who he is
(i already know about just the girl by click 5- thats not a good song that im looking for)
and about a girl that is friends with a guy and is falling in love with him.
if you can find anything- that would be great!!! (link)
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I Wish You Knew - Mariah Carey
We Belong Together - Mariah Carey
Dreamlover - Mariah Carey
Can't Let Go - Mariah Carey
Endless Love - Mariah Carey (duet with Luther Vandross)
Without You - Mariah Carey
Always Be My Baby - Mairah Carey
I Still Believe - Mariah Carey
My All - Mariah Carey
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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lost best friendships
thnx in advance (link)
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Anytime You Need A Friend - Mariah Carey
I'll Be There - Jackson 5/Mariah Carey (duet with Trey Lorenz)
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Okay fisrt of all when quoted "soul mates" i wasnt saying she is my soul mate i was saying i want to move on from her to find my soul mate but that wont happen that fast. (get it)
i was asking two questions
How should i move on?
and
what did she mean when she said Not as of now.
i was pissed that night i wrote it. sorry i was stating a fact about people saying the same thing to get over some one and i had two questions in there too.
my point is i want to move on get over her but her answer to my question to her if she likes me was difficult to understand. NOT AS OF NOW sounds like maybe.
we are 21 in college.
BTW thanx for the advice. (link)
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'Not as of now' to me sounds like she used to like you, but when you asked her (and like you said, she wasn't sure of her sexuality), she was kinda on the spot. So now she thinks of you as a sister, so it protects her from having a realtionship which she may not want and gives her more time to find who she is.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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“Make new friends, go on dates, don’t see/speak to them as often as you do and it will take time” How many times you heard that when you are trying to get over some one? Is there a best way to get over some one? Is there a faster and easy not to hurtful thing to do! To move on from the so called perfect one! My answer NO unless you met your soul mate, Like that will happen out of the freaking blue! I been in love with my friend for 7 years, I told her my feelings but she doesn’t feel the same. We see each other when we have time; she is close to me and caring and thoughtful. She doesn’t want a relationship neither does me with her, but for some way I just want to be with her even you I am sexual confused too. I guess we are both bi curious but I just don’t want her to be my first. She told me that she is sexual confused herself. I thought if I tell her my feelings I will move on but I didn’t, I ask her if she likes me more than a friend…
But her answer is “not as of now sorry I like you as a sister” what the hell is “not as of now” Mean?! (Just wait and see!!!!!!!!) How can I walk away from that?!?!?!
bisexual female (link)
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Like you said, she's still sexual confused, so maybe she did have feelings, but is scared that she may become bisexual. My guess is that when she learnt of what you felt for her, she was afriad of what she was getting herself into and wanted nothing to do with it. She may also doesn't want o you to be her first either.
Telling somebody your feelings doesn't help you to move on at all. In fact, it's the opposite. You're accepting the feelings which you've got for that person, so you want to be with them even more.
When she said "not as of now", she meant that she did think of you more than a friend, but learning of your feelings made her scared, so she's begining to set boundaries for herself as to what she feels for a certain person. Most unfortunatly, she has decided that she can no longer think of you as anything more than a sister/friend, which I can understand becasue when you're sexually confused, you need to sort out as to who you are and focused as to what you want to be in life and she doesn't want to make that decision now. I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing that you're still in school.
Have you found your 'soul mate'? I don't think that you have because soul mates tend to have the same level of feelings they've got for each other and have the same amount of passion for the realtionship. In this, you've got two people who're not sure of what sexuality they are, one likes the other, but the other doesn't. True, you may've had feelings for her for 7 years, but she may or may not have felt the same for you, that isn't what soul mates are all about.
There isn't an easy way to walk away from somebody whom you love, it never is. It may look good on a page, but I know that in real life, it's alot more difficult because I've had a similar experiance and I had to walk away and it was hard. Even to this day, I still have the same feelings for this one person like as if nothing happened (and it's been over a year!). But the most painful thing for me is that I knew that it wouldn't work out, and that hurts because you love this person, but you know deep down that it can't work (personal reasons) and I view this person and my 'soul mate'.
When you've had that said to you, I would go and talk to this girl and ask as to what she meant by it, I wouldn't be surprised if you find out that she did have feelings for you.
Just a quick note: your question was very confusing, were you asking about how to move on or what does "not as of now, sorry I like you as a sister"? Please try and make it less complicated. I've tried to answer all of you questions, but remember for future reference, please single out one question at a time and ask them in seperate questions, time consuming it may be but it makes our lives so much easier.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Ok so there was this guy that for the longest time i thought was really hot and we finally ended up talking the other day, and then he proceeded in asking me out on a date. The date went fine we held hands and stuff but didnt kiss. the only thing was i felt really confortable areound him and im not sure if that means im just confortable around him or if i just like him as a friend. Cause shouldnt i be nervous? (Im not sure cause ive never been on a one on one date haha) Anyways so now hes talking to me alot adn i feel like he likes me alot more then i like him, i want to tell him im not sure how i feel about him so that im not leading him on, but i want to continue to be friends with him and go out sometiimes...what should i do? and can anyone help me on weather or not i like him or not? Thank and sorry about the length (link)
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If you feel comfortable around him, then you like him. If you're around somebody and you feel nervous, then you're not sure whether or not this guy/girl is the right person for you, either because of their personality or what they do in their lives.
How you view him is up to you. You're worrying yourself as to how you view him, and that will just just get you even more confused than before about how you really feel about him.
Do you have butterflies in your stomach whenever you hear him name or see him? Or do you think about him and have this 'desire' to be with him? To either one, if the answer is 'yes', then you really like him, if it's 'no', then you like him, but only as a friend.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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problem:
My Best Friend is a JERK!!! At least I think.
My best friend is a guy. We get teased a LOT about it, but whatever. He WAS dating this girl named Destiny. She's in 8th grade (we're in 7th.) She's a little bit of a slut, but I didn't say anything, even though I secretly have a crush on Koby, but whatever... The point is his OTHER best girl friend, Katie, and I saw Destiny dirty dancing and holding hands with a guy OTHER THAN KOBY!!! I was pissed, as you can imagine. Katie was too, so she texted Koby and was like,"Destiny's with another guy." And we took a pic of them holding hands. Koby texted her back,"How am I suppose to believe you? Are you tired of waiting for me to break up with her so you can have me?" Is he a jerk or should I forgive him? (link)
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To be quite honest with you, I think you letting Katie text him saying that Destiny was going out with somebody else was a bad move. True, she may be a slut, but he may love her all the same and the fact that he didn't accept the picture proves that to me.
I can understand that you were angry, but letting your emotions run you away is never good, as you may do things which you can regret later: this would be one of those situations as you've created dis-trust in Koby for you and possibly, may've created some hatred.
Plus, you don't really have enough evidence that she is going out with another guy. WAIT AND READ ON BEFORE RATING THIS. True, you did see her dirty dancing, and holding hands with somebody else, but you don't have evidence to prove that the picture was real. Before somebody breaks up with somebody, they need to have solid facts as to why they're breaking up. There would be no point in breaking up over something which wasn't true, then getting back together (and the relationship wouldn't work after that due to too much suspicion between the couple).
So you can see as to where I'm coming from. Koby isn't being a jerk, he's being smart. He won't jeopardise his relationship over some claim (and photo) that Destiny is going out with somebody else.
I noticed that you said 'At least I think', which tells me that even you aren't sure whether Koby's being a twat or being smart. That then leads on to make me think that maybe you know you did something wrong, not him.
I would suggest that YOU go and apologise, becasue if youv'e got any hope for going out wiht him, then you need to repair any negative feelings you may've caused him to feel about you. But say things like:
1) No, I'm not waiting for you to break up with Destiny.
2) I know what I saw, if you don't believe me, then you ask Destiny (and I won't be surprised if he already has asked her).
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Does anyone know of any songs about secretly being in love with your best friend? (link)
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I Wish You Knew - Mariah Carey.
Can't Let Go - Mariah Carey.
We Belong Together - Mariah Carey.
Dreamlover - Mariah Carey.
Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey.
Without You - Mariah Carey.
Endless Love - Mariah Carey (duet with Luther Vandross)
My All - Mariah Carey.
Emotions - Mariah Carey.
All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey (not so sure about this).
I Wanna Dance With Someday (Who Loves Me) - Whitney Houston
So Emotional - Whitney Houston.
How Will I Know? - Whitney Houston.
Saving All My Love for You - Whitney Houston.
My Love is Your Love - Whitney Houston.
A Moment Like This - Leona Lewis.
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis.
I Will Be - Leona Lewis.
Yesterday - Leona Lewis.
The Best You Never Had - Leona Lewis.
The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face - Leona Lewis.
As You can tell, I really like these artists!!
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I hate these questions, but I'm so desperate and I don't have anyone to turn to.
Everything is just going downhill. Track is over, so I have nothing to do and no one to hang out with because my friends all have their own lives. My boyfriend cheated on me with a girl that I really don't think highly of, and I don't know if I should take him back or not. Everytime I see him, all I could think about is those two kissing, and how betrayed I feel. He wants to get back together and is trying, but at this time I cannot trust him. My sister keeps claiming I'm lazy because I am home, when really I just have nothing to do. I have finals coming up, plus I should be going to get my license sometime soon. My boss wants me to work a double job for three days in July, which I don't know if I could handle it. I really don't mean to complain, I just really need someone to vent to.
I need someone to tell me something, anything. (link)
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Why don't you focus upon the positives in your life: you're getting your drving license, you're just about to finish school.
You've got the rest of your life to look forward. Don't dwell upon what was, there's nothing which no one can do about the past. What's happened has happened. Call your friends and see if they want to hang out somewhere; they may have their own lives, but that doesn't mean that you can't see each other every now and then.
Try and not see your ex. Think about what you want you want to do with him: you either go back out with him, or you can ignore him. He cheated on you, so in the end, it's your desicion as what to do with him. Take your time.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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okay so there's this boy john and he's sooooooo cute. me and him just met recently threw my friend marie. we talk daily. and txt. throughout the night. here's the thing, marie and john had a thing sorta until I told him marie hooks up with a guy every party. then after I told him this he automaticully started not liking her. I didn't know he would do that but its not like he doesnt hookup with girls all the time, my other friend Lynn jokes to john tat he has a chode, and she says oh did you and your tiny friend get lucky and said yeahhhhh these girls at the party were so horny. well anyways he's a veryyyyyyy good sweettalker and flirts with me non stop. he says he likes me and is SO glad he met me. is he for real? or a huge fake? (link)
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I can completley disagree with Venom_97. I wouldn't slam the door in his face yet, and be all carefull. What you need to do is to know more about him and see if he is for real.
I can see as to why he would break up with Marie; would you like to go out with a guy who went out with every other girl he met? Of course not.
Ask around and see what they say he's like. It's important. The next thing is to see what YOU feel for him and how you view him. Do you see him as a boyfriend or as a friend?
It's good in all that he's a good sweet talker, but that shouldn't be as to why you talk to him or like him. You should feel something inside you which tells you that you love/like him, it shouldn't come from your head, but from your heart. And you need to ask him face to face as to what he feels for you, for real and see what he says and then decide as to what you want to do from there. If he begins to sweet talk you, push for the facts, don't let that distract you. This isn't a game, this is life.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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My dearest friend is unhappy with her love life. But she's been with this guy for about 3 and a half years. She's about 18 now. All they do is fight and make one another miserable. She says she would be miserable with out him but other days she said she's scared to be alone and thats why she stays with him. I wouldn't say it's much of a relationship due to how they treat each other.
In the past I have tried my best to tell her she needs someone better. I've even gone as far as verbally attacking her boyfriend and telling him to get out of her life. I'm worried about her and it makes me sick to see her so unhappy. Lately I've been just sitting by her side and listening to her. She says thats all she wants and appreciates it from me. I try my best to support her and be honest when she asks something of me. But I want to tell her to move on from her boyfriend and find someone new or take some time for herself. Like she knows reality of how everything is.. But Idk...
Have I done the right thing by no longer meddling and being by her side instead if she needs me? Or should I take action again? (link)
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I can understand as to why she's relectuant to leave him. Being with somebody for three and a bit years makes you used to company, even if that company makes you unhappy and then face being alone is what a lot of people don't like to face.
You've done the right thing and the best thing you can do know is to offer her a place to stay for a while (ensure that you say 'for a while' if you do ask her). That way, she has her own space to think it out and find the best way to move on from her boyfriend and that you aren't far away if she wants to talk and she wouldn't be lonely.
I wouldn't take action again because its not going to help. If it didn't help before, why should it work now?
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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people i dont even know hate me. i have a rep for being a "whore" but im really not. i get mean comments and everyone makes me cry these days. i only have a few true friends but its really upsetting to me. any advice or things i can do? thanks so much:] ! (link)
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How did you get the reputation for being a whore? You need to ask as to why they think you are one. Then once you find out, then you can go about and stop doing whatever is making project that false image.
Talk to your friends about it and ask how they view you. That's what friends are for: to help and support each other.
The next thing to do is the believe in yourself. You're letting these guys get to you and listerning to what they're saying. You don't know them, so why have anything to do with them. They may say mean things about you, but you know that they aren't true.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
EDIT:
I wasn't implying that you were a whore, just wondering as to how you got that reputation. I know that it's a lie becasue you said so yourself.
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So, I'm dating a man I've known for a long time. I'm white and he's black. When people see photos of us together or hear about him, for some reason they always have to comment and say things like 'Oh he's black..." or "I'd never thought /you'd/ date a black guy."
I don't understand what the problem is personnaly, I love him and he's so fantastic.
I was wondering though, when you see a white girl and a black man, what do you automaticaly assume or think? Just interested to know.
(link)
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Really, I don't assume anything. If they're going out together and they love each other, then that's all I need to know.
There isn't a problem. The only problem in that some people still find it hard to accept a black guy going out with a white girl. You've got nothing to worry about.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Ashkon
and what are its origins? thank you. (link)
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Ashkon:
Collection of charting, data downloader and technical analysis utilities.
Don't know about the origins.
I hope this helped
triquetra
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