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What is the stigma of dating a black man?
So, I'm dating a man I've known for a long time. I'm white and he's black. When people see photos of us together or hear about him, for some reason they always have to comment and say things like 'Oh he's black..." or "I'd never thought /you'd/ date a black guy."
I don't understand what the problem is personnaly, I love him and he's so fantastic.
I was wondering though, when you see a white girl and a black man, what do you automaticaly assume or think? Just interested to know.
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I thought you might be interested in the typical stigma attached by society, more than another personal opinion.
Movies and such have most people who aren't black believing that all black men are drug dealers/thugs.
This means when the typical non-black sees you together, they may first think that you are with him because he gives you drugs in exchange for sex, or that you are attracted to the brainless thug type of man. Odds are the thought: "Oh, she's a crack whore." has passed through a head or three. :-(
The other commonly head belief is that all black men are well hung, which leaves a large chunk of society looking at you going: "Oh, she's a c**k whore." :-(
Neither of the above stereotypes are correct, of course, but if you wanted to go through the minds of most people that will ever see you together, that probably sums up what you would find.
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I like to see a Black guy and a white girl together. It mixies things up and shows that people are finally looking in a person instead of there skin color. I incourge you to as loung as you love him stay with him dont let other people effect your relationship. Soon we could even have a black president even.
Hope I helped....
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I don't assume anything, really.
If 2 people love each other and want to be together, they should, regardless of skin color and the opinions of others.
-Laura. (16-f)
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The stigma of a black man dating a white woman has already been pre-set,pre-determined and pre-judged. Partly due to stero-types set by society and partly due to historical facts which encourages the pre-judgement of inter-racial dating & marriages.
I am black/Panamanian woman and I have never thought of what my actual feelings are towards inter-racial relationships. I feel like to each it's own. I will not date a white man. I am in no way racist as I have family members of all races and cultures. Everyone has their own preference in life. I believe in respect and nothing less regardless of their choice (from race to gender)
I will point this out, I have found that many black men who once struggled in the past to become successful in the future do date and marry the black woman while suffering and going through the hell, but whenever they reach that peak of the mountaintop or conquered their challange, they tend to leave the black woman for the white women. I find this disappointing, shady and wrongful because it's normally not about love, feelings, or emotions the important factors of a relationship. Instead it's about trying to forget the struggle they once had, or trying to forget who they really are, as a result of not liking who they were and being confused on who they are so they chose to reinvent themselves completely, even to the extent of downing their own race as a whole, including the black woman & their family.
This is the only negative thing I see about an inter-racial relationship and If I do see a successful black man with a white woman, I question if it's about love or other, but that's about it.
I am sure that people would say the same thing if I dated a white man. I never thought she would date a white man. I didn't know he was white, some would even think, she's using him for his money.
Anyway, as long as you are happy, I am happy for you! your relationship is based on love and I support it!
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Really, I don't assume anything. If they're going out together and they love each other, then that's all I need to know.
There isn't a problem. The only problem in that some people still find it hard to accept a black guy going out with a white girl. You've got nothing to worry about.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Honestly, I just automatically see love/friendship/lack of judgment. That's a little strange people would comment like that though. Next time if you hear them comment just ask them to be more kind and say it doesn't matter due to love.
Glad to hear you got someone to love ;)
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hmmm I never really thought about that. I don't really have any specific reaction when I see a white girl dating a black guy or vice versa. However I can understand the ppl who say "oh hes black..." because you know before you actually meet a friends boy friend/girl friend you always get the initial image, and then when you actually see a picture or meet the person you're like "oh totally not what I imagined"
the " i never thought you'd date a black guy" comment is weird and kinda rude...
anyways..yaa my reaction is that I don't really have any reaction...they are just another normal couple in love and hopefully happy. :)
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I don't see anything wrong with it at all. Its really cute. Don't let anyone ruin your relationship because of race. My mom is white and my dad is Indian. They have gotten comments before but there is nothing wrong with it at all. Its really cute too.
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I think they make a very cute couple :). My bf thinks that when two white people date their kids dont come out pretty but thats not about dating thats about marriage. My bfs white and Im indian but caramel skin color. We really havent had comments like that but interracial relationships aren't terrible, their actually good, at least I think so.
Plus if you like him dont worry about other people, they shouldnt matter. If your going to have a relationship with this guy and you like him thats all that matters or should. You dont want other people ruining something that might lead up to marriage ;) jk well that might just be a really good relationship.
Stay "tute" together :) hun
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