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advice
15/f- Its really long but if you would take the time, I would really really appreciate your help.
Okay I have 2 best friends, shelby and christa. Well shelby recently got a boyfriend, and all of a sudden started acting very distant to me and christa. She never hung out with us anymore, and barely talked to us at school. She was trying to change herself to fit in with her bf's friends. Well Then she started telling people that me and christa abandoned her and that we were mad and jealous that she has a bf. We never said anything to her. So then we heard it from more people, so we asked her about it, if she said it. She denied it, and got mad at us and walked away. We let it go. Then my friend found a note from her to her bf that said " I dont know what is up with HER (meaning me) lately. If she doesnt knock it off quick, Im not gonna talk to her at all at homecoming because I dont want my night to be ruined by HER". So then I called her and asked her about it. Now Im not a mean person at all. Im too nice at times. Well I must have said "Now Im not trying to attack you or be mean, I just wanna talk" fifteen times, and she was like "Oh I know" She made up some lame excuse, and I was like whatever, so then we talked for about an hour like normal about our day and whatnot. The next morning she came up to Christa and I and hugged us to make sure we were okay. Well afterschool a friend came up and said "shelby said you called her and yelled and bitched her out for an hour and then she cried after you got off the phone" I was so angry, and I was tempted just to not talk to her anymore, but I gave it one more chance. I went up to her before lunch at her locker and asked her why she was saying that, and that she knew very well it wasnt true. I was being wayy too nice. She wouldnt look at me, she kept her eyes on her locker and was like "yeah... whatever.. sure" while I was talking, so then she was like "IM DONE okay? IM DONE WITH YOU" and just kept saying it, and I walked off, and then she went and told her bf that it was the otherway around. So then she comes up to me like 1 or 2 days later and says I was being a bitch the otherday, I dont know what was up. Blah. And I just said yeah I agree and walked away, then she wrote me a 3 page note and the first page was an apology finally. Im the forgive and forget type, but I dont really wanna forgive exactly, but she sits at our lunch table now, but everyone is like "why are you talking to her, she doesnt deserve your time"
Should I forgive her after all she did?
Am I right about this whole thing?
Should I talk to her still?
What should I do?
I would greatly appreciate any help anyone can give
Hmm... I don't know if you should forgive her. If it was me, I don't think I would cause she's not being a good friend AT ALL. I mean even if you were to forgive you, she's just gonna talk about you behind your back AGAIN and you'll just keep repeating this with her over and over. =/ You gotta think about this. Do you really really really wanna be her friend again? If you do, then you should maybe try again. Give it another shot. Hmm you gotta see where all these rumors are happening from. Are you sure they're from her? Because sometimes people just like to start stuff for their own sick twisted pleasure. =/ But in my opinion, I wouldn't be her friend again. I mean like i said before, she's just gonna say stuff again ( if she's the one saying it ). This has happened with me. My best friend started talking about me and I made up with her because I mean.. she was my best friend. And then she STILL did and I was like," psh, forget this I don't need friends who are gonna talk about me behind my back all the time." And I just stopped talking to her the next day, and she got the hint. I hope I helped! if you need more help, just please IM me at MELii x MARiiE . =]
Love,
MELii
p.s. Sorry if i was repeative and didn't make sense. I tend to do that whenever I'm writing alot and I loose train of thought, lol.
Okay, here we go.I am 14 and I really like this boy. And he always flirts with me back and like puts his arm around me and stuff like that. but he flirts with everybody. I mean everybody. So, im not sure if he likes me, is just being friendly, is a natural flirt, or if he just wants to flirt with me. what to do what to do!
Hm it could be any of those. I would just try talking to him and see if he likes you. I mean, that's really the only way to really find out. Or have your friends do it for you if you're too shy. But even if he does like you, do you really wanna have a boyfriend that flirts with everyone? =/ you'd have to be sure he'd stop flirting with everyone once you two started dating cause then that might only lead to cheating =/ I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
There is a guy I like and he likes me and everyone knows it. However, I am not asking him out so don't even suggest it. Anyways, his birthday is Monday and we aren't going out yet, and I don't know what to get him. I was thinking maybe a cute teddy bear and some candy, but it was just Halloween so there is plenty of candy to go around. Please help, I want to get a winning prensent!!!
Well I might not want to get anything to fancy or nice or anything because you two aren't dating. But I would want to get him something that shows you care about him. Try making him something that's homemade. Make him a card and a little thing inside of it saying," I hope you have a wonderful birthday " and everything. And maybe make him a CD of all the songs that remind you of him and write a little message on the CD too something like " all of these songs make me think of you - have a wonderful birthday love, _____ " or something like that =] I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
ok well i like this guy alot and everyone says he likes my best friend and i think he does too and it makes me really sad even though i know she wouldnt go out with him it still makes me really sad. is it okay to be sad and like a little jeaous?
Yeah it's perfectly fine to be jealous and sad. I mean, you like him alot and he likes someone else. Just don't try and do anything about it. Theres no way to get him to like you =/ I mean, at least you don't have to worry about your best friend dating him because she said she wouldn't. But yeah, it's fine to be a little sad and jealous. Have some ice cream. Always helps me =]
Love,
MELii
Well, there's this guy. My friend told me about 2 months ago that he liked me. Since then, we've kinda just said hi to each other, and he'll occasionally brush my arm and smile. He's in my group for this project for Math, too (CONVENIENTLY!) Unfortunately... he's a major flirt. Everytime I see him, he'll be talking to a girl or flirting, which really makes me sad! We had a dance about 2 weeks ago, and he came late, at like 11 because he had work. And he was just sitting by himself. Later, my friend told me he went because of ME and I was too chicken to say hi so I'm wondering if he still likes me... because he hasn't really made a move yet. He's either shy or... just not interested anymore. I'm always confused with him. Please tell me what I should do!
Hm.. well, he must not be THAT shy because he's going around flirting with a bunch of girls, and if someone's shy, they aren't gonna flirt with people. =/ He might not be interested in you anymore. =/ Do you ever flirt with him or anything? Because if you don't, he might have took that as a signal that you don't like him. Next time you talk to him, try flirting with him some and see if he does back. Cause if he does, then maybe he still has some feelings for you. And if he does like you, and you like him then maybe suggest to him that you two hang out sometime. =] I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
well.. i been talking to this kid for like about 2 months now, and we've never hung out once, and hes always telling me that we are going to, but we never do. and hes always talking about other girls, of if he does call me from his friends cell, he'll always be with other girls. and i dont know if hes just talking to me to get ass, or if he likes me.. sometimes he does.. well most of the time, my friends think he does, but i dont know. should i stop talking to him, or what? =/
well obviously he's not trying to get ass because he really can't get it if he's never even met you or hung out with you. It could be either or about the liking you thing. He might either like you, or just find you a friend. Cause whenever he talks about the girls, he might wanna see if you'll get jealous, or maybe he's just talking to you as a friend =/ it's hard to tell. Does he ever flirt with you? Cause then obviously he must like you some if he is. I don't think you need to be as drastic as not to talk to him anymore. I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
At what age is it appropiate for a person to have sex? Ss we get older the standerds seem to be dropping. I just read a question by a thirteen-year-old asking if she should get on "the pill" if she has had sex. Since when is that what is on a 13-year-olds mind?
Well I think it's sad whenever people have sex at such a young age. Especially 13. I find that's way too young in my opinion. =/ Sex is something that should be cherised and remembered between two people who are very in love with eachother and feel that they're ready to be responsible and make that decision. But that's the persons decision whenever they want to have sex, not mine. That's just my opinion on the matter. So really there's no appropriate age for when people want to have sex. It's just really whenever the person feels ready to have it. I hope I helped.
Love,
MELii
I am almost 15 and i have only had one real relashonship with a guy. it lasted about a year.
all of my friend have great boyfiend relashonships. but i don't, the only advice they can give me.(is to be the one to move first.) well i gess im a old fashion girl. i like the guy to ask first.
It alright that you want the guy to make the first move. That's how I am. That's how ALOT of girls are. I don't know any that have ever made the first move. And about you finding a guy. You will. I mean some girls go without getting a guy until their like, 18. You just meet the guy when you meet him. Sometimes it takes a long time, but when you meet him, it's all worth the wait =] But you might need to listen to the guys advice that they give you.. in a way. Not to make the first move like, ask out, but just talk to. Guys like it whenever a girl is confident and can carry a conversation. So maybe just try talking to some guys and maybe you'll possibly meet your future ..husband or something haha =] I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
p.s. I think that's awseome that even though you've had one real relationship with a guy, that it lasted a year! I mean some girls have like, weekly relationships, and I think it's nice that your commited =]
hey guys. well i've been like this reallly cutee/awesome guy. we call and text almost everyday. but we never talk at school. my friend asked told him "you know i think ___(me)likes you" then he said "o well that's cool" what's that suppose to mean? i'm thinking he doesn't like me. but i realllyy like him aloot. i mean i've never felt this way about a guy before. i want to get him to start liking me. or should i get over him? it reallyy hard to get over him. should i just move on? idk what to do! he's like my prince charming=) pleassee help! thx. i rate
It sounds to me like he doesn't like you like that. If he did like you, I don't think he'd be saying "oh well that's cool" that just basically means "oh well that's nice that she likes me." =/ and there's really no way to get a guy to start liking you. He just .. has to like you on his own. Just keep talking to him and being yourself and maybe he'll see how great of a person you are and start liking you =] and hey, it's better to have at least a friendship with him then no relationship at all. I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
im sorry its long but i really really need help!!
my boyfriend dated this girl jessica, i dont know how long they dated but they did date for at least a few months! this was at least a year ago because we have been dating for a lil over a year and it was before us. he was her first kiss and stuff. now out of the blue she is calling him and he told me that they always talk during jazz band (class) and my friend justin said they always go in this dark room to talk and sometimes this other kid goes in there with them but its usually just them. this girl told my boyfriend that she likes him and she thinks he likes her. he said that he just wants to be friends. (im going off of everything he told me). then for his bday a week ago, she made him cookies... he said he asked her to get him something for his bday and she had cookies left over so she gave them to him but there were a lot of cookies in there so idk. the girl is constantly at his locker and talking to him and HE sits by her at lunch ALONE TOGETHER and she calls him and they talk for hours at a time. everytime i come around she leaves. i dont know what the hell to do but its not going away. i tried talking to him and he said that he doesnt wanna feel like he cant be friends with her. how do i deal with this cuz im ready to just bitch her out and be really really mad at my boyfriend because hes going with it and allowing it to happen. thanks in advance! also jessica keeps saying to everyone how hot my boyfriend is and she wont stop talking about him and stuff. now were fighting and he just doesnt understand anything. i tried talking to him but it doesnt work. everyone else (including guys) understand but he doesnt. grrrrr
Hm it seems to me like Jessica likes your boyfriend and is trying to ruin things between you to, so then you two will break up, and then he'll be back on the market. But don't instantly believe that. That's just my view on the situation. I would try talking to her some time and ask whats going on. Just ask her if she has feelings of "more than friends" with your boyfriend and explain to her how it's upsetting you and such. Also, I'd suggest talking to your boyfriend. Explain how your just getting worried because the two of them hang out ALOT and everything. That you don't mind them two being friends, but it's just sometimes it seems like she wants to be more than friends, and it's worrying you. Because this situations tough. They could just be really really good friends here, or he could possibly be cheating on you. And if he is, then break up with. You don't deserve that at all. =/ I would have a huge serious talk with your boyfriend and find out exactly whats going on. I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
I'm wondering, I'm only 14 at the moment, but girls my age seem to go for the bad guys and the biggest jerks. Why is that? I am a gentleman and I am as nice as can be and they always tell me that but why do they go for the jerks?
I don't know. I think it's because "bad boys" seem more.. dangerous and risky. They give girls some adventure and aren't afraid to get into trouble every now and then. And I mean, we're young. We should be out doing some risky things and having fun. But later in life, the girls won't want the bad boys and will want the nice guys. Like myself, I prefer the nice guy ( I don't know any girls that want a bad boy ) so please please please stay a gentleman. We need more guys like you out there in the world and less jerks. I hope I helped! =]
Love,
MELii
Ok well I'm m/14/bi,my bestfriend got a girlfriend recently and shes all he talks about and well I like him a lot. Whenever he talks about her I get depressed and upset and sumtimes in a horrible mood. Well he doesn't know I like him should I tell him?
Hmm this is a tough situation. You first of all have to think about telling him that your bisexual, because some people in high school do not like bisexual & homosexual people and that might cause some trouble. You also have to think about your best friend. How would she feel if she found out you liked her boyfriend? I think the only thing that would cause it awkwardness and someone getting hurt. =/ But if you do decide to tell him, just think everything through clearly and for a long long time before you do. I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
what is a way that you could be understanding if your boyfriend makes out with another girl while your going out. like how can you be a pacifist..saying like "well i trust him and i know he still loves me" or something idk (thats why im asking)
thanks
I'm sorry but I really don't know any other way that I can answer this without giving you my opinion in some way. Sorry, but I mean he cheated on you! Cheaters obviously don't love their girlfriends/boyfriends that much if they cheated on them. And.. you obviously can't trust him cause if you do tell him that, then he's just gonna do out and do it again. Sorry, but you two should break up. =/
I have a question about men. I want to have children some day but havent found the right guy yet. When I do find a guy that I like, what are some signs that could tell me whether or not he would make a good father?
Also, is it a bad sign if the man is already in his mid 40's and has never had any children? Is there still a chance he might want kids at that age? I am 26 and know a guy that is 45 and I think he likes me, but he has never had kids.
Well you really can't exactly know until you see how they act with children and such. Does he have any brothers or sisters or anything? People can want to have children at any age. Some people have kids at 50 or more. It is a litle old to have children, but if you want to have a child, then have a child. Like with my boyfriend I can just tell he would be an amazing father if me and him had a child. He's just so nice and sweet and caring and I could just picture him with a kid being a great father. So just try seeing how he acts around children and maybe talk about it with him sometime. Just be like," So, are you ever inerested in having kids?" ( I don't mean that in a way as 'having kids with me' but just 'having kids in the future' .. you know what I mean lol ) I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
i have been having a really hard time understanding my bf right now. first off i barely have talk to him all week. we are in a long distance realtionship so i barely get to see him. on friday he was supposed to meet up with me and go to the haunted house and then his place to meet his mom but it never happened. he said he got in trouble because of last time adn he couldnt leave the house. i understood and said it was cool but yesterday when i called his mom said he wasnt home. today i talked to him for 5 minutes. he told me he was out in downtown were i live but he wouldnt tell me were or who he was with. all he told me was that he didnt come home until 3 a.m. then he had the nerve to tell me about a girl that was bendin over infront of him wearin a short maid costum. (someoen tell me why you would tell ur gf that?) but for the best couple days since i havent talked to him he has been askin me if i still want to be with him and if i trust him. i trust him and all but i think he takin advantage of me. everytime i try tellin him how i feel it always ends up him tellin me about some bitch and get annoying. what should i do? o yea tomorrow my best friend invited him to her house becaus ei am goin to go but he isnt goin (his excuse i dont want the bus take me the wrong place and he always rides the busy and he knows were he is going) can someone please tell me what is up? and help me.
p.s
i am a 14/f and he is a 16/m
I would pull him aside some day or call him or something but just talk to him and straight out ask him whats going on. Because it sounds to me like he's cheating on you. Sitting there talking about girls to you and then asking if you still want to be with him adn trust him? Yeah it sounds to me like he feels guilty and wants to know you still like him. But this is just my opinion. I would seriously pull him over to talk before you make an accusations like that. Ask him why he's always making excuses and lying and stuff. It sounds to me like he doesn't sound as interested in you as you are in him, and you shouldn't be with someone like that. You should be with someone just as ( or more ) interested in you as you are them. So yeah.. have a serious talk with him =/ I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
Hey I'm a guy and was just wondering about something...
I know its normal and not exactly their fault and everything, but when a girl goes through monthly stuff, what are we, the guys, supposed to do. I really don't mind it, but sometimes I feel like I need to help out my g/f with whatever the problem may be...but I can't. Should I just be there to talk and listen? That's what I've been doing so far. I mean I can't think of any good advice other than lie down, take some medicine, try to relax, and stuff like that. Should I try to help, or just stay out of the way? Is there any way I can help or no? I know I don't or ever will understand what it feels like or anything, but I'd still try to help with anything. Will rate, thanks in advance.
Okay well when it comes to girls and the "monthly stuff", it sounds like you've got the good idea. It's nice that you wanna help her out and stuff, but really just sit there and like you said talk to her and listen to her and everything. If she ever spazzes out at you over a stupid thing, don't mind it, don't go off spazzing back at her. It's just she's moody. I snap at people sometimes. Anyways, ask her if maybe.. she wants anything. Chocolates always good, haha. I always crave chocolate and greasy foods. So maybe take her out to eat or something and just.. talk or something. I hope I've helped you out with "the monthly stuff" haha.
Love,
MELii
alright so i have this friend named ben. ben is dating this girl named jenny. me and ben havent been known each other for too long, but we both feel like we've become the best of friends. well, jenny is starting to really really hate me cause she thinks im trying to steal ben away cause im always hanging out with him and walking with him and stuff. i kinda understand how she feels but i dont wanna lose benny because of her. should i just lay off of ben for a while? or tell jenny to get lost?
Just don't do anything that might send of the signal that you want to be more than friends with him. Like hugging and stuff. That might be making her think you two like eachother or something. But she shouldn't even be worrying about that. I mean she must have guy friends and does Ben think they're gonna go off and steal his girlfriend? What I might want to try is talking to her ( or if not write a note or something ) and just explain that you and Ben are best friends, and nothing more and that you apologize for making her think that they were anything more. Explain that maybe it might seem like it's more because you might hug or something, but really it's just two friends say bye/hello or whatever. And explain to her that Ben really really likes her and doesn't want to lose her. That might make her understand a bit more. That's good that you understand from her point of view. I mean, some girls would just tell the other one to probably just back off. I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
Do you think its wrong to be bisexual?
No it's not wrong to be bisexual at all. It's just who you are. I mean, it's just a person that likes both genders. It's still the same person. So, no it's not wrong to be bisexual. I actually have a friend who is. I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
Ok, last sunday I went to the scary haunted house hay ride, cornmaze place. Well, while my 2 freinds and I were there, we met these guys. Me and one guy hit it off real fast and we were all over eachother... not makeing out though (just the hands and arms) so, at the end he asked for my number. I gave it to him. Then he came back and sad can I give you my number and I was like my ohone doesn't work.. it really doesnt! I left it out in the rain and the screen doesn't work I can only call people. So i told him that and i thnk it turned him off... anyways I really like him and have been thnking about him since then. I have asked so many people if they know hinm and finally my freind said yes. SO, she's getting his s/n and number for me. Here's my problem do you think I will look desperate? what should I say to him? i really really like him. Where can we go together? we live like 20 min away from eachother. pleas write back with answers and tips for me!!!
I don't think you will look desperate. I think your phone just broke and your trying to get in touch with him. It might have turned him off because he might be thinking that you might just be making up an excuse about your phone so he can't call you/you call him, and that might get him thinking you don't like him much. Just whenever you IM him, be like," Hey remember me from the haunted house place? My friend knows you and gave me your sn..whats up?" or something like that, haha. And then suggest you guys hang out sometime. There's always the nearest mall, maybe a movie...I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
okay, there's this guy i've gone out with 3 times before and i still like him a lot..okay i'd say he's my first "true" love..and well after 7 months i still like him a lot and the other day he asked me to go to a football game in his town. (we live about 15 minutes away) and i told him i wasn't sure if i was gonna go and he's like "what why?!" and i'm like "do you want me to go?" and he said "YES!" and i ended up going and i had blast..but i really like him and he knows i still do but i don't know how he feels. i'm thinking he may have some feelings for me since he really wanted me to go to the game..but other girls in his town like him and stuff..and idk what to do..i've messed up so much with him but i love him a lot. what do i do? how do i find out if he likes me without actually asking him? i can't ask his friends because he doesn't tell them that stuff..i just have no idea what to do. i want him back..i miss him so much. he know's that i was happier with him. i really love him..how can i get him back? please help me! i'll rate you high!♥
Well the only real other way to find out who he likes is through your friends. Have your friends talk to him and see if he likes you or not. He might or might not like you. It's hard to tell. Yes, he wanted you to go to the football game but I want my guy friends to go somewhere with me.. but that doesn't mean I like them. It is hard to tell. The only other way is to just ask him yourself. Just ask him if he's currently liking anyone at the moment. Sometimes you just gotta make the move. Just maybe ask him to hang out with you sometime and see where it goes from there. I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii