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advice

Ok well i like this kid a year older than me A LOT the problem is he has a gf well one weekend he begged me to come over but i couldnt now he wants me over this weekend well I know his gf and im not a slut so the best choice is to stay home right ?

Well it depends. Does he want you over just to hang out with you as a friend? Or does he think something else is going to happen? I say just hang out with him and if he wants something else to happen, you can always just tell him no and leave. And ask him if his girlfriend knows about this. She should know that you two are hanging out so she doesn't get the wrong idea. Better yet, maybe have her hang out with you two so then you and him can hang out also, but if he thought something was going to happen it can't now because she's there. It's your decision -- if you really feel you have to stay at home, then stay at home. I hope I helped.





Love,
Mel

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I'm 14/f. There is this boy I really like. I met him in 7th grade. I'm in 9th now. I have had this crush on him since the middle of 7th grade. I can't seem to get over him and it is bugging me because I feel like I can't get on with it all because of him. He goes to a different school so I don't see him to often... I really don't know what to do. I don't know if he likes me back either. He is never on AOL and when I do talk to him I get all choked up. I love him so much. I don't really think he knows it. I have told him before but I think he thought I was joking. But I just can't get him out of my head, and like I said before I just can't seem to like any other guy. Any advice for me or am I really hopeless????

Well it's really hard to get over someone if you love them. =/ The next time he's online or on the phone with you no matter what, tell him you like him again. If he thinks you're joking again, tell him you're not. See what he says. If he doesn't feel the same, then yes, of course it's going to suck, but it can help you move on. Just try to preoccupy yourself and do hobbies that take alot of concentration. Hang out with your friends, they'll cheer you up. Because even if he does like you back, you'd need to figure out if he's worth it. Cause if he's hardly on and you hardly talk to him and he goes to another school.. you might never see eachother unless you work at it. Love bites sometimes, doesn't it? =/ If you want to talk to me more about this, IM me at:

imELECTRiCbaby x



Love,
Mel

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um ok i just put this under health for like no reason but i am really small and i think people dont talk to me becuz of it i mean i am in 9th grade 5' 3", 83 pounds, i dont even hav my period yet.. is these any way i could look older that you know of??

Well since you have had your period yet, you're going to look younger because your body hasn't really matured yet so whenever you do get your period you'll start to develop your figure and everything and you'll look older then. Until then, I've heard curly hair makes you seem a little older. I don't know my friend told me that so give that a try. I would also try and gain some weight. You are too skinny for your age and that might make you look smaller and make you look younger. You should be in like, the 100-120lbs. That's the normal weight range for girls our age. I'm 5'4" and 100lbs. There's also things you can do with your makeup. Don't use too much makeup and try and use earthy tones. I hope I helped.






Love,
Mel

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so my boyfreind asked me out.
and now basicly all he wants from me is sex.
it makes me really sad and dissapointed...
please help.
and dont say break up with him.
you guys dont know me.
i like him alot..
i rate

Well he needs to show you more respect. I would seriously talk to him and explain to him that you don't want to have sex and he shouldn't pressure you into something that you don't want to do. And if he says that stupid line," If you really loved me, you would do it".. psh.. just be like," Well if you loved me you would respect my decision". Just talk to him about it and explain to him how you're feeling. He's your boyfriend, you should be able to talk to him about anything and let him know what you're comfortable with and stuff :] I hope I helped.





Love,
Mel

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ok..well im going out with this really cool guy. and well before i went out with him i like him and some other guy. let's say the guy im going out with, his name is bob. and the other guy is sean. well, everybody keeps telling me that sean likes me. well i like bob, but now it seems that i like sean more. but if i break up with bob , im afraid that all my friends will hate me because they are really good friends with him. and i really dont know what to do right now.

thanks,
totally confused

Dear totally confused,

Well even if you're friends might hate you for breaking up with Bob ( even though they shouldn't because if they're going to hate you over that... then they're not your real friends because they need to realize you're also their friend and they should respect your decision ), you should anyways if you like someone more. Because that's not fair to Bob.. dating him while liking someone else more. But also, maybe talk to Sean about everything and see if he likes you, and if he does obviously ask him out :D I hope I helped.






Love,
Mel

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hi. umm i am 13f and i havent started my period yet.. which is fine. but umm i am completely am totally flat. im not one of those girls with small boobs who just says shes flat. i really am quite literally FLAT. and i hate it. all of my friends (again, not exagerating) have boobs. how come i dont? will they ever come? because i do see adults sometimes that are flat. i really dont want to be like that. i have never had a boyfriend. my friends have. guys like girls with boobs. and dont say its not true. sorry huns, but uuh it is. guys used to like me in 5th grade and below because i am pretty, and then, nobody had boobs. but now that they do, im just a "little girl" compared to all of my friends. i really hate being flat. i dont know what i can do. obviously i cant magically make them appear.. but aah i hate it. i dont want to wear a padded bra because if someone bumps into me it will be obvious. what is a water bra? and wtf do i do????????
i rate 5. just pleease give me some good advice.

Well first of all, I know you say 'its true' and you told me not to say it's not true.. but sometimes ( I'm not saying all the time.. just sometimes ) it isn't. Not ALL guys are into that. I've had boyfriends and guys like me and I have small boobs. The big boob thing is really starting to get old with guys. I mean, look at Paris Hilton. She has small boobs.. and she's gets lots of guys. Tara Reid..alot of guys I know liked her BEFORE she got the boob job. Now they all hate her. And who wants big boobs anyway? Whenever I see girls like that, I feel kind of bad because even though yes, they have guys surronded by them.. it's usually not because of them ; it's because of their boobs. So do you really want guys to like you just because of your boobs? I hope not. But yeah, get a water bra. It's basically just a bra where water goes instead of padding so if someone were to bump into you.. it'd feel real and not padded. Also, like you said.. you haven't even gotten your period yet, so whenever you will.. they will grow. You just have to wait. I hope I helped.






Love,
Mel

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How can i have 8 glasses of water I cant drink it during the morning Or else i will need the bathroom all day. Cant during shcool no water allowed. And 8 glasses of water in the after noon i get off from school at 3:00PM and i go to sleep at 8/9:00PM. is it healthy to have it all in the afternoon.

Well, you really don't need eight glasses of water. It's not going to make you like, immortal or anything if you have exactly eight. Can't you just take a water bottle to school, but keep it in your locker? That's what I do. And then whenever I am thirsty in-between classes, I'll just quickly go and take a sip. And also, take one to lunch. You are allowed to bring lunch to school, aren't you? You probably are. And also, in-between classes every now and then, you can always just take a drink out of the fountain. And in the morning, don't have like 5 glasses at once.. just have one in the morning so you're also not parched in the morning. And then have the rest throughout the day... I hope I helped.






Love,
Mel

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Would you take offense if your gf/bf said that although they find you attractive, they would never want to see a "Picture" of you, or see you in your underwear? I'm sure you can guess of what nature.

My gf said this to me and I felt offended. I don't really know why. I guess it's no big deal, really. We were only kidding around and she said that. I'm pretty insecure about my looks, which doesn't help I suppose. So would you take offense, or am I making a big deal?

Well I can see why you feel offended. But there's also a big positive side to this. What I think she meant by this whenever she said it was that she's not dating you for just your looks. Cause if she was dating you for just looks then she'd probably be asking for pictures and stuff of you every five seconds. And most girls aren't like that. We really don't want to see stuff like that.. we just want to be with our guy and enjoy their comapny and stuff :] I mean, there ARE some girls who like that stuff, but I don't know any. Anyways..but, still it bothered you, so I might want to talk to her about it. See how she meant it. I'm sure she meant it in no bad way. I hope I helped.





Love,
Mel

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Alright, so I have this friend. Let's call her Diana. Whenever I tell Diana something that I am excited about she just brings me down. She'll tell me "Oh my god, no one cares" or "Does it really seem like I care?", stuff like that. Sometimes she will even hurt me physically also. She always flirts with all of the guys I used to like or even my boyfriend. Diana is very beautiful and she knows it. All of the guys adore here and such. Sometimes she can hurt my feelings so bad that I just want to cry. I really am not trying to be mean about this but how can I help get our friendship back on track? Sometimes when I tell her things I feel like she's jelous. Am I the one doing something wrong? Please help me, this is making me go through a lot of pain! Signed, Best Friend is hurting Me

It seems to me like this girl is a little full of herself. It seems like she doesn't care if anything great happened to her friends -- because it's not about her, it's about someone else. Plus, with all the guys adoring her and everything, that also boosts her self-confidence even more and probably wants to get even more attention. I would just talk to her about this and tell her how you're feeling and if she doesn't care.. I'd go find a new friend because obviously she's not being a great friend.. not even a good one. And she also might be jealous. If something great isn't happening to her, she doesn't want anything to do with it. Something great might always need to happen to HER, not YOU. Cause that'd then bring attention to you, not her for once. She might be jealous that you have a boyfriend and she doesn't, so she flirts with him. Like I said, just have a serious talk with her, and if she doesn't care.. move on. You can find better friends who do and always will care about you. You're not doing anything wrong. You're just being a good nice friend, that's all you're doing. I hope I helped.






Love,
MELii

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Ever since my bf moved to another state for a job I feel as though a weight has been lifted. I think he was upset with me because the last time we talked over the phone before he moved I sounded so happy. Part of the reason for my happiness is that I had just started a new job with a really cool company after years of unemployment and dissatisfaction. Well my self esteem and confidence has totally gone up and when I told my bf how happy I was with things he didnt sound happy at all for me. I also think he was mad at me because he said he was thinking of stopping into the store before he left but I didnt sound to thrilled to see him. Well it's been a month since we've talked or emailed and you know what, I don't even miss him!!
My question is : Why do you think he was mad that I sounded so happy? Wouldnt he want me to be happy? And also I feel a little guilty for being glad that he is gone.
Does anyone have any insight?

Well by being happy now and you feeling a weight has been lifted -- that obviously shows that you two were not meant to be and your life is much better without him. I would break it off with him if you don't even miss him and stuff. Just maybe remain friends. But see, he thinks that since he's your boyfriend and he moved.. you should be like, in TEARS and SOOO miserable without him and everything, like most girlfriends probably would. I mean I'm sure he wants you to be happy, but he probably just wanted you to be at least a little depressed that he moved, you know? Wouldn't you want him to be sad if you moved? Think of it from his shoes. Cause then also by telling him your happy, it sounds like you're telling him," Yeah now that you're gone, I'm so much happier" and that's going to depress him. And it's alright to feel a little guilty, but you shouldn't feel really really guilty. I think you should just end it with him and move on. I hope I helped.






Love,
MELii

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okay i like this kid and hes in all my classes i have a feeling he likes me and he always ims me as soon as he gets on the problem is i have plenty of things to talk to him about at school but nothing online so does any one know stuff i can say to him and no hey whats up ? and hows school . just dont cut it thanks a bunch ..

Well just think of him like he's standing in front of you instead of on the computer. Just think of what you'd usually say to him. Ask him maybe, how school was, how's he doing? And get discussing on school. Maybe share with him something funny that you saw or that happened to you that day, and maybe he'll share something also. And just get talking maybe on Christmas too. What's he going to do for christmas? What does he want for christmas.. like, an ipod or anything? Just talk to him about anything. Pets, sports, colors, foods.. just bring random things up. I know it's random, but it'll get you two talking. Sometimes people just tend to talk more in person than over the computer, and some tend to talk better on the phone then in person and the computer.. it's just the way people communicate with others. So just try some of those suggestions. I hope I helped. ;D





Love,
Mel

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i've been with my boyfriend for over a month and he still hasn't kissed me? i'm his first real girlfriend so i don't think he's ever kissed anyone before. he also still has braces and he's really insecure about them. he desperately wants to get them off and talks about it all the time. do you think maybe he could be waiting for that to happen? that would suck. how can i hint that i want him to kiss me without coming right out and saying it (that would be weird!)?

Well since your the first real girlfriend, that means he's probably inexperienced and is afraid he won't know what he's doing and will be bad at it and you'll like dump him cause of it. Sometimes, hinting does no good. Boys don't usually get hints half the time.. so I suggest just going for it. Just whenever you two are alone sometime, just go and kiss him. ;D I hope I helped.




Love,
Mel

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When I get really upset I sometimes tend to cut myself.....on my rist. Lately I have been really sad and have been crying myself to sleep almost every night. I cut myself and I don't know why. Its like it takes away the pain of everything else and replaces it with the pain of cutting my rist. Its not like i'm trying to kill myself or anything, it just seems to kind of.....calm me down. My friends can't stand it when I do that, but its like I can't stop. I know I need to though. Is there any way you can help me?

Even though it's taking the pain away from your current problem, really by cutting.. your only giving yourself more problems. You just need to throw everything that you can/or do cut yourself with away and learn to control your emotions in another way. Hit things. Hit the wall, hit the floor kick stuffed animals around.. that's what I always do. I always smack my pillow and it really calms me down. Also, if your having a problem.. just talk to an adult or your parents about it. Or you can talk to your friends. They want to help you, so go to them whenever you need it. If you feel you cannot stop and you have no other options, try talking to your parents about getting a psychiatrist or maybe just go to the school counselor. Sometimes crying yourself is the best thing to do. After I cry, I always feel relived and feel better because whenever you cry, you just let it all out which is what you need to do. I hope I helped, and I hope you stop cutting and you do much better.

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Heres my proble im female and im 16 I hope you can help,so to make a long story short i fell for my best guy friend and he lead me on for like 6 months im crazy about him it got to the point where he has become me security blanket. i've been going through a really tough time in my life right now and hes been there for me i'd tell him i loved him and hed say i love too but he wouldnt date me and i asked if him it was okay that im so dependant on him, and he told me yes its fine im here for you etc. and just recently out of the blue he was like you call me too much, I cant be your security balnket anymore plus he met someone and basically he was like here ill give you some space get over me and like now we dont really talk hes ina erlationship with this new girl of his , im so hurt cause he just like left and he promise he'd always be there for me and he promised me alot of things but he did lead me ona nd now hes basically doesnt want anything to do with me and he told me left like he did because he got sick of being my friend and i know that, thats not really the main reason why its because of this new girl and i dont know im still in love with hima nd hes my best guy friend and im so confused and hes said oh im sorry a million times but i just cant forgive him a part of me wants to hate him so much but i jsut cant because i love him and he was the first guy ive ever fallen for and ive cried so much overhim and i just cant let go of him and accpet that he did what he did out of all the people i truey care about he walked out me just like my parents did, How can I get over him i need to so bad all he does is hurt me

Well I'd suggest to take a break from him. Get your own thoughts together, and try to enjoy life. Try to find a new hobby, or just do old ones, listen to music, or just hang out with your other friends. This'll help you get your mind off of him if you're distracted with other things. And then maybe after awhile, start talking to him again and building up a better friendship. Cause I've had the feeling. You wanna hate them, but you can't. But hating does no good, it'll only make things worse probably. I think the only reason he's not being your security blanket is because he has a girlfriend now, and he needs to be her security blanket, and I guess he can't be a security blanket for two girls. I would just try and find someone else who can be your security blanket :] I hope I helped.





Love,
MELii

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okay, you probably don't remember me...i have the friend who used me to get his girlfriend and all that other stuff....well, now i've got a bigger problem. his girlfriend keeps saying stuff about me to others. like, my sister told me that she told some people i was trying to hook up with my best friend which is so not true. then she said something about me always hanging out with him. okay, before we had this whole situation, yes, i did hang out with him. we went to see a movie every once in a while and we talked on the phone for hours. but why does that matter? he loves her, not me. i'm not bothered that they're together. i'm annoyed that she makes stuff up about me. and now my best friend won't even tell her to stop. he defends her and says i'm lying about everything. how can i be lying if she posts the crap she says about me online and everything? what do i do? he's always been a good friend, but lately it's just not worth it....

Well this is a common problem. It seems to me that the girlfriend is just jealous because you are spending time with her boyfriend and hanging out with him, and she's not. She probably just doesn't want girls hanging around her guy. I would try just talking to her sometime. Ask her whys she's spreading those rumors and if she's worried about you two always hanging out, she shouldn't be because your just friends and nothing more. Also tell her that he loves her alot and he'd never do that. And of course he's going to defend her. It's his girlfriend. :/ Also, maybe even invite her along to hang out or something. Who knows? She could be a new friend so then all of you can hang out and have fun. I hope I helped.




Love,
MELii

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oh and to all those people with the ? when is the right time to have sex? its when you are ready.
no body can tell you when to have sex.

and ways my ? is..
how long into the relationship do you have sex.
i rate high for nice people

Well there really is no length into the relationship as to when to have sex you just said yourself: its when you are ready. If you feel you two love eachother enough and are responsible and mature enough to make a decision like that and you've thought of everything and all the consequences and everything, then you can have sex.

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ok so this guy i like and i are really mean to eachother.. i know thats a way of flirting but i mean REALLY mean to me. he tells me he wants me to die and stuff like that in front of his friends but when hes only with me hes nice.. i dont know why i like him, and i have tried to be nicer but nothing works..
aaahhh what should i do!?!

Now I've heard of the "mean flirting" thing...but he says he wants you to die? That sounds very mature. Well if he's nice to you like you say he is whenever you two are alone, talk to him then. Ask him why he says all those really mean things and it upsets you whenever you hear him say that he wants you to die and stuff like that. Do any of his friends have a tiff with you or anything? Because he might not want to be nice to you in front of them because if one of them doesn't like you, they'll get mad at him maybe for being nice to you. Like I said, just talk to him whenever you two are alone and he's nice. If he doesn't stop being mean, the I'd suggest just forgetting about him. Because if he continues with that, he just sounds like a rude immature guy that's not worth your time to me. I hope I helped.






Love,
MELii

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Heres my proble im female and im 16 I hope you can help,so to make a long story short i fell for my best guy friend and he lead me on for like 6 months im crazy about him it got to the point where he has become me security blanket. i've been going through a really tough time in my life right now and hes been there for me i'd tell him i loved him and hed say i love too but he wouldnt date me and i asked if him it was okay that im so dependant on him, and he told me yes its fine im here for you etc. and just recently out of the blue he was like you call me too much, I cant be your security balnket anymore plus he met someone and basically he was like here ill give you some space get over me and like now we dont really talk hes ina erlationship with this new girl of his , im so hurt cause he just like left and he promise he'd always be there for me and he promised me alot of things but he did lead me ona nd now hes basically doesnt want anything to do with me and he told me left like he did because he got sick of being my friend and i know that, thats not really the main reason why its because of this new girl and i dont know im still in love with hima nd hes my best guy friend and im so confused and hes said oh im sorry a million times but i just cant forgive him a part of me wants to hate him so much but i jsut cant because i love him and he was the first guy ive ever fallen for and ive cried so much overhim and i just cant let go of him and accpet that he did what he did out of all the people i truey care about he walked out me just like my parents did, How can I get over him i need to so bad all he does is hurt me

Well as much as it's going to hurt you probably, to get over him.. you need to stop talking to him and everything. I know you want to hate him and everything, but no good will come of that. That'll only bring more hurt for you in the end. Since he's been apologizing just forgive him, but tell him you don't want to talk to him for awhile. You want to be left alone. And just focus that time on the better things. Friends, school, hobbies, try finding new hobbies maybe and just focus your attention elsewhere and try to move all your focus away from him. Also listen to music. That can get stuck in your head forever. Just anything that has to do with him.. don't do it. It'll just bring back memories. And then maybe in the future whenever you get over him, you can be friends with him. The reason he might not be able to be your security blanket anymore is because of his new girlfriend. I'm not saying it's her fault or anything it's just that since he's her boyfriend, he's going to want to be her security blanket. I know.. it sucks. =/ It might take awhile to get over him, and I know it's gonna be really hard to.. but after awhile, you'll start to get over him. And then you'll find someone new who will want to always be your security blanket. If you want to talk more, IM me at:

imELECTRiCbaby x

I'm usually on. :]




Love,
MEL

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Ok, so me and this guy, lets call him Kyle, are THE BEST of friends. Kyle goes out with my best friend, lets call her Lauren. So they are going out but me and Kyle are such good friends, we talk about Lauren. Not behind her back really just about how she has a bad attitude towards me and he even agrees with me. Me and Kyle will pretend to "like each other" and make funny comments at church but now, im starting to feel like i like him more than a friend... I mean we even talked and he even said that we would probably go out later on in life, but he wasnt going to break up with lauren for it. And i was like "yea i know." Please dont say i need to get over him becuase its really hard... i mean hes so perfect, the sweetest guy you would ever meet, and i feel like he deserves better than Lauren! Plleaasseee help! Should i just wait on him? Because im willing to...hes that awesome!

Well if you are willing to wait for him, then that's your answer obviously. I shouldn't tell you exactly what to do, I just offer advice. And my advice is to follow your heart, and your's is obviously saying to wait for him. So wait. =] It will all be worth it in the end whenever you two go out. Just stay good friends and keep those feelings for eachother, just don't kiss or do anything that would make him. But you must also think of the friendship that might get ruined if you date him in the future, cause I'm sure if your friend finds out, she will not be happy. So just think of what you want more. Him, or her? I say wait for him. I hope I helped.





Love,
MELii

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okay recently my friend has got her dream guy and already we dont hang out because shes always with him. obvisouly i knew this was going to happen but now im always mad at her for talking about him. i am TOTALY happy for her but is there any way that i can get her to realize that she is blowing off her friends for him without being rude. thanks for any advice you can give me!

Just be honest with her. Just be like," Hey, I'm really happy for you and everything it's just me and all your other friends really miss you. We hardly see you anymore and we don't want to end up losing you as a friend". Or something like that. It shows that you ARE happy for her, but you and everyone else misses her too so you're not sounding rude at all. I hope I helped.





Love,
MELii

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