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Girl Drama, Long but Please read
15/f- Its really long but if you would take the time, I would really really appreciate your help.
Okay I have 2 best friends, shelby and christa. Well shelby recently got a boyfriend, and all of a sudden started acting very distant to me and christa. She never hung out with us anymore, and barely talked to us at school. She was trying to change herself to fit in with her bf's friends. Well Then she started telling people that me and christa abandoned her and that we were mad and jealous that she has a bf. We never said anything to her. So then we heard it from more people, so we asked her about it, if she said it. She denied it, and got mad at us and walked away. We let it go. Then my friend found a note from her to her bf that said " I dont know what is up with HER (meaning me) lately. If she doesnt knock it off quick, Im not gonna talk to her at all at homecoming because I dont want my night to be ruined by HER". So then I called her and asked her about it. Now Im not a mean person at all. Im too nice at times. Well I must have said "Now Im not trying to attack you or be mean, I just wanna talk" fifteen times, and she was like "Oh I know" She made up some lame excuse, and I was like whatever, so then we talked for about an hour like normal about our day and whatnot. The next morning she came up to Christa and I and hugged us to make sure we were okay. Well afterschool a friend came up and said "shelby said you called her and yelled and bitched her out for an hour and then she cried after you got off the phone" I was so angry, and I was tempted just to not talk to her anymore, but I gave it one more chance. I went up to her before lunch at her locker and asked her why she was saying that, and that she knew very well it wasnt true. I was being wayy too nice. She wouldnt look at me, she kept her eyes on her locker and was like "yeah... whatever.. sure" while I was talking, so then she was like "IM DONE okay? IM DONE WITH YOU" and just kept saying it, and I walked off, and then she went and told her bf that it was the otherway around. So then she comes up to me like 1 or 2 days later and says I was being a bitch the otherday, I dont know what was up. Blah. And I just said yeah I agree and walked away, then she wrote me a 3 page note and the first page was an apology finally. Im the forgive and forget type, but I dont really wanna forgive exactly, but she sits at our lunch table now, but everyone is like "why are you talking to her, she doesnt deserve your time"
Should I forgive her after all she did?
Am I right about this whole thing?
Should I talk to her still?
What should I do?
I would greatly appreciate any help anyone can give
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Hmm... I don't know if you should forgive her. If it was me, I don't think I would cause she's not being a good friend AT ALL. I mean even if you were to forgive you, she's just gonna talk about you behind your back AGAIN and you'll just keep repeating this with her over and over. =/ You gotta think about this. Do you really really really wanna be her friend again? If you do, then you should maybe try again. Give it another shot. Hmm you gotta see where all these rumors are happening from. Are you sure they're from her? Because sometimes people just like to start stuff for their own sick twisted pleasure. =/ But in my opinion, I wouldn't be her friend again. I mean like i said before, she's just gonna say stuff again ( if she's the one saying it ). This has happened with me. My best friend started talking about me and I made up with her because I mean.. she was my best friend. And then she STILL did and I was like," psh, forget this I don't need friends who are gonna talk about me behind my back all the time." And I just stopped talking to her the next day, and she got the hint. I hope I helped! if you need more help, just please IM me at MELii x MARiiE . =]
Love,
MELii
p.s. Sorry if i was repeative and didn't make sense. I tend to do that whenever I'm writing alot and I loose train of thought, lol.
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The problem is that she likes to make people miserable. She doesnt deserve to be your friend. If you forgive her again she will do the same thing again. This is not your fault at all. When someone is miserable whether in their life or at home they like to show people how the feel by spreading lies or talking behind your back. You need a friend who doesnt do that. Maybe if you dont talk to her you will show her that you are not taking any crap from her. You dont deserve to be treated like that. No one does. My friends tried doing that and i didnt know who to believe, the person i have known my whole life or the one i just met that one year. Turns out the one i was friends with from when i was little caused the trouble. She told me to my face she liked to twist things to her advantage so everyone would like her.
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First of all, sorry that you're having to deal with a suposed best friend acting this way. It's ridiculous and you shouldn't get treated this way.
I don't think having a boyfriend & wanting to fit in with his friends should justify her talking about you guys. It's one thing to not be with you guys constantly anymore, because obviously she's going to want to hang out with her boyfriend, but that doesn't mean she needs to talk about you.
There's no reason why you guys should be forgiving HER for everything she's saying and doing to you. That's ridiculous and if you guys are best friends, it SHOULDN'T be going on.
I know it will seem mean, and hard at times, but until her & this boyfriend break up, or have a fight she probably isn't going to change. Just leave her alone and let her come to you when she needs you. Then talk to her about how she is making / made you guys feel. Because it's not fair.
Good luck!
♥ Melissa
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omg i have been through this soo many times. just like you i am known to be too soft and nice to people and them seem to take advantage of that and take it for granted. i dont know about you but i am cathlic and sicne i believe in god i think you should 4give and forget and that if who ever your beign nice to is takin advantage of you then someone up above will get them back. plus pay back is a bithc. and she will feel so bad of what she did to you. what you got to do with ehr is change a lil how your. i am nto sayin completely just liek she has to gain your trust and that you be a little mean/ rough on her at frist. just to set her staright A(trust em if you dont do this she will keep repeatin what she has dont to do and think she will be able to get away with it) set her striaght and make sure she cant walk all over you. hope this helps you out.a dn if you need anyhting else feel free to drop it in my inbox.
*~Stephanie~*
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Okeyy. this sounds exactly like me and my ex friend.. i decided to stop being her friends and hang out with a different group with your other friends.. it doesnt matter. i learned the "dorkiery"(SP) at my school are nicer than the popular girls.. thats just at my school.. but anyways, i say hang out with a different group for awhile and maybe see whats going on a month later or something
ToOtleS [xOo] Taylor
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you should forgive her if she's really your friend and she means alot too you thats what i would do then talk too her about what happend....
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Let me first start off by saying this:We all know when we get boyfriends we are more into them than our friends because it is something new and different. We push our friends off and dont realize we are doing it because we are happy and sometimes in love. She does not realize this b/c she is that person. If you are a true friend you will let her be but still talk to her(as it seems you are doing,so good for you) Hopefully things work out for her and her boyfriend but if they would not she is going to turn to you-b/c now she does not have him which is okay b/c she realizes now that she should not push her friends off for no man(and i know this b/c it just happened with me and my fiance)I know now your friends will always be there the man may not. So yah girl you keep talking toher but also let her be with her b/f. Life is too short to not be happy and that is for you and also her. One day all this chilness between friends will stop and you will look back and say wow werent we stupid for that. I hope this helped you
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i had a girl be a bitch to me like that... and well she didnt do the exact same thing but i was nice to her and everything and i just was super nice and well heres the story, i know you prolly dont want to read this but if you do it my answer will seem better:
ok so well i liked this guy and i told her that, she was like oh i like him too, so well i found out he had a gf so i was gonna leave him alone as to not cause any drama, but then she started telling everyone that i liked him and she was like he wont like you and all this and then she gave him this letter that said that i was a bitch and that he shouldnt like me, when i wasnt even going to try to get him and then she got mad when i confronted her about the note she gave him (he gave it to me and siad "i thought you would like to see this" i knew she wrote it too cuz it was her hand writng) she told him in the note that he shoud like her and all and i just didnt care anymore so her and her friends started telling me i was a bitch and said they wished i would die, and basicly were bitches for months then they started being nice agian... and wanted me to fogive them.... but i can forgive but i cant forget and i cant talk to them to this day...
i say dont be her friend... talk to her but dont put to much trust in her
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Well if I were you I would talk to her. There is no harm in giving a couple of more chances. I mean hey this IS what mostiy happens when your friend has a bf.
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