about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

i've been talking to this guy all summer but we've said we love each other and we talked on the phone like everynight. but we have this mutual friend Greg and his girlfriend's name is Allison. and lately this guy has been talking to Allison more than me. i mean we're not dating so hes really not cheating on me and im not the jealous type but i just don't know what to do. i mean she has a boyfriend but im not sure Greg knows about it. what should i do??

15/f

You don't really have a reason to be mad at this guy. I mean- you aren't dating.. so you don't have control over what he can do. Sorry- but its the truth. If you don't like what he's doing- maybe try to hang out with him more- but that might be rude- as he may like Allison, regardless of whether she has a boyfriend or not.

Now onto the conversations between Allison and this guy:

TELL:
Advantage: Greg will know he can rely on you in the future.

Disadvantage: Greg could get mad that you told him.

NOT TELL:
Advantage: You don't get involved in other's business- which is a really good thing. Its sometimes best to mind your own business.

Disadvantage: Greg may want to know- and not telling him may mean he can't trust you anymore- especially since you know what's going on.


I certainly don't think its a big deal that she's talking with this guy [you don't tell us his name]. The problem arises when it becomes a secret being kept from Greg. Personally- I wouldn't get involved with it. It really isn't your job to tell him, is it? But it really is your choice!

--Jack
(15/m)

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i really like a guy right now. But we're not close. He's my classmate but we don't talk. We once chatted in Yahoo mESSENGER, i expected that he would start talking to me the next day but he didn't. I just want to ask, if you guys learned that someone has a crush on you, is there any instance that you'd like that gurl too or you just try to avoid her?
How can we know if you're really interested?

When I find out someone has a crush on me, honestly, I sort of avoid them. I don't know why I do it- I just do. Whether its embarrassment or flattery. I'm not sure.. but I think its usually embarrassment. I don't know how to face them, especially if I know I'm not interested in them.

I think its kind of wrong for a guy to just like someone because someone likes them. Its just lust- not love.

From http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=506340-->

I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.

If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!

--Jack
(15/m)

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does anyone know what ramen is?

not the noodles...

idk but NOT the noodles

kthanksbye

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramen
http://www.bento.com/phgal3.html
http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2042.html
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ramen

ra·men /ˈrɑmən/[rah-muhn]
–noun Japanese Cookery.
a bowl of clear soup containing noodles, vegetables, and often bits of meat.


Honestly- I've searched google, wikipedia, and dictionary.com. There are no entries for "Ramen" other than the Japanese noodles.

Its probably a slang term or something. Maybe ask a friend or keep looking.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

Okaii.
So i want to have a picture as my display picture but it is 19KB 324 x 244 but how do you reduce the KB to 15KB? or what ever it is.

Any suggestions are welcome.

Thanks in advance =]

Hello. You can reduce the picture size in a program like Paint or Photoshop.

The easiest thing to do is take your picture- and upload it on tinypic.com or tinyurl.com or photobucket.com. Then you take the URL.. if its on tinypic, the URL will look like this:

http://i14.tinypic.com/4kz45dd.jpg


Then you go to this page:

http://www.advicenators.com/settings.php

And scroll down and paste the URL into the "URL of a picture of you:" box.

That way your picture won't show up small, but large like the one in my column!

=D

Congrats on being my 800th question answered!

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

I can never seem to talk to guys! My best friends:
Helen, Sarah and Katie talk to guys in class and out ( and obiously me) but i can never seem to get in a conversation that they are in so i just go with someone else like Jess (my m8). It might be because they are the coolest boys in our class and i am just scared, but i would like some advice on what i could do.
Oh.. and i am 13/f if that helps.
And i do like this boy called Harry and i think he likes me, if that helps. But Harry is in the middle (not popular, but not unpopular) if you know what i am saying. An that i really want a boyfriend too.

I am sorry that this is long but, i had to explain everything, so then you would understand.

Thanks alot, anything will do, just say what you think.

Alright- I have a few things to tell you.

1. Don't go looking for love.

2. Don't change yourself for anyone [like to get a boyfriend].

3. Don't just go for the "popular" people. They aren't all they are cracked up to be. They can be some of the rudest people you'll meet. Trust me, I've dealt with them.


Now I think that starting a friendship with this Harry guy is a smart thing to do. Maybe hang out with him and his other guy friends. Just be polite and be yourself. Try to meet people by starting small talk. This is really easy in school- when you're sitting next to someone- just make a joke about how you don't understand something or how you forgot a pencil or pen [whether you really have one or not]. I know this sounds lame- but some of my greatest friendships this year started because we sat next to each other in a class and I eventually asked them for their AIM/MySpace/etc.

It really works. If you be yourself- and try to be a little more outgoing, you'll make a lot of friends- both guys and girls.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

18/f
Okay, i've been seeing my boyfriend for a year now and i've found out that i'm pregnant. I know i want to keep the baby, i couldn't go through with an abortion. But in September he's going away to university. I know how much he wants to go and i don't want to spoil it for him or make him feel like he has to stay. Do i tell him now? Or do i wait until he's at university and then tell him? (He's going to be living quite far away when he goes, like four to five hours drive away if that helps)
Please help!

I think you should tell him. There are a few reasons:

1. He may want to know something like that- you never know.

2. He NEEDS to know- especially if its his child. Why keep that information from him?

3. Don't NOT tell him just because you don't want to ruin his dream- its ultimately his choice if he stays with you or if he goes to college- so don't feel like its YOU ruining HIS dream.

4. Its kind of lying to him if you don't tell him. Keeping secrets from a partner is horrible. The longer you keep the secret from him- the more he could be mad about it.

So I think you should tell him. Its your best option. =D

Good luck!
--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

K so my dad gets this texting plan with verizon, that has unlimited to people with verizon also, and 500 to people with different services. Anyways my dad said they charged me like 30 dollars extra for texting 700 messages (but they were to my friend who had VERIZON. i didnt even text anyone without it yet!) I'm SUPPOSED to have UNLIMITED! What is wrong here? My dad called up verizon and they didnt give an explanation or something. I dont know. but still. wtf? What happened? Its only like 10 or 15 dollars a month or something. And we got charged 30 dollars extra (not even a full week after I got the plan too!)

Are you absolutely sure that your friend has Verizon? If not- they probably lied to you [or they just didn't know]. I would have your dad contact Verizon again and ask them to send a list of the numbers you texted [they should be able to send a list with all of your texts and to who they were sent] and then if they say that the number wasn't Verizon- have your dad contact your friend's parents.. because they just cost you $30.

The problem just might be an error on account of Verizon- I tell ya- I get service in my bathroom and basement, but they say I called people I didn't sometimes. They make mistakes, as does everyone.

Otherwise- refuse to pay the bill- though that might not be the smartest thing to do.. I think my dad did that once.. it wasn't smart.. haha.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

what are those last names with hyphens in between two of them?

It means that someone has kept their last name- but also took on their spouse's last name. So like let's say we have Betty Jones. Betty marries Mike Smith. She wants to keep her last name, but take on her husbands too. Her new name is Betty Jones-Smith or Betty Smith-Jones. I'm not sure of the order.

It could also mean that your parents got remarried- and your mom married another man. I'm not sure how that works out, though. One of my sort-of friends has a hyphenated last name.

Hopefully that helps.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

if you eat just breakfast lunch and dinner is that bad for you? if you don't eat snacks. is that giving you enough? i am trying to loose weight and eating healthy doesn't work i just eat too much.. do you think this is a good idea?

I'm going to tell you that I'm not a nutritionist.

But I think that having snacks is probably the reason you've got "excess" weight.

And there is NO WAY that eating just breakfast, lunch, and dinner is BAD for you. That's what you're SUPPOSED to eat, if I'm correct.

I think you should just cut down on your portions. Like instead of having 3 or 4 eggs for breakfast, have 1 or 2. Use less jelly on your toast. Use less syrup on pancakes/waffles. Use less ketchup/sauce/dressing on things.

If this answer sucks- don't rate it.. haha

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

why do they explain sex to little kids as 'birds and the bees' it just doesnt make any since...

Well- its just a metaphor for sex... like parents and other people don't want to just come out and say, "Yeah- so sex is when you put.." etc. Its too explicit for children.

If you're asking for specifically the "birds and bees" part- I only know about the "bees" part. Bees would be like the male; they "pollinate" the female in order to start reproduction. As for the "birds"- I have no idea =X.

I think the whole idea is to explain sex in a way that little children could sort of understand.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

Well, I sent a boy who lives in Florida who I've been in love with since I was 3 a letter that was asking if he had feelings for me. He did at one point but I wanted to know if he still did. Then I wrote I'm going to be honest I still have strong feelings for you. It's been 3 days and he still hasnt emailed me back. Is it safe to say he is ignoring me? HELP!!!!!!!!! I REALLY REALLY LOVE THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!!

There are a number of reasons why he hasn't responded yet:

1. He hasn't checked his email since before you sent it.

2. He is ignoring you.

3. He doesn't know how to respond.

4. He's grounded or something- so he can't get on the computer.



RELAX! It probably isn't the second option. If that was the reason- I'm sure you wouldn't like him. Its usually obvious if someone is that type of person right from the get-go.

Maybe try emailing him once more in a few more days [I think its too early at this point]. Ask him why he didn't respond- but that might seem desperate. Just give him some time. I'm sure you're just overreacting. =]

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]


something popped up on my computer saying my virtual meomry was low?
what does that mean?

It means that you have a lot of space filled up on your computer. Either your computer has a really small memory capacity or you have downloaded a million programs and your computer just can't take it anymore.

Try left clicking on the start button in the lower left-hand corner. This opens up the Start Menu. Then find "Control Panel". Click on it- and the window opened will probably have about 10 icons. Choose "Add or Remove Programs". Then try to delete programs you DON'T ever use.
Be sure you don't delete windows or something off of your computer.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

I'm 15/f and my boyfriend of a little over 2 months is 15/m. We have the same group of friends (which is mostly guys) so whenever we hang out with friends there aren't really girls there. But if we go out somewhere I usually find him staring at some other random girl. I'm not really worried at this point, but I just wanted to make sure it is nothing harmful? I just don't want to become one of the girlfriends that is constantly like "OMG do you like her?" so I don't think talking to him about it is a great idea. It's not like a really bad problem or anything but it just bothers me a little. I figured you would be a good person to ask since you are about my age. Thanks.

Hello. Thanks for asking in my inbox, I appreciate it =].

I think that this is normal: Both his "wandering eye" and your worrying. Its all normal! I've read somewhere that guys' eyes are naturally inclined to look at a girl and "examine" her when they are passing by or in front of them. Sure- sounds ridiculous.. but really.. all of us, if you think about it, have wandering eyes.

I'm not trying to make excuses for your boyfriend- because he could just be checking other girls out. I personally don't see much wrong with it if he's not chasing after them asking them for their numbers. However- I can understand how girls would see this differently.

If he's staying with you- he most likely is interested in JUST you, not some random girls that pass by when you go somewhere. Sure- they may fancy his eye- but its only for 2 seconds =].

If it seems to become an overbearing problem- then you should talk to him.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

well theres this girl that likes me, but i dont like her. she the cousin of my freind. he doesnt come to the same school as me but the girl does. my freind was thinking that u go out with this girl, but then, SORT of break her heart. like whenever we go out on a date, i bring along my 2 idiot freinds, and stupid things like that. then i break up with her, or make her break up with me. what do you lot think? evil, or just a plain laugh?

Dude- its TOTALLY NOT cool to do this. It might seem like a good laugh to you and your friends- but take it from a guy- girls wouldn't find this funny. Its pretty evil to play with a girl's heart like that. She'll probably end up telling all her girl friends- and trust me- there IS a girl's network. They will find out what you did- and it won't be good for you. Please don't toy with her or any other girl's emotions. They WILL seek revenge.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

so i have never been into drinking...i just graduated from high school and i got drunk for the first time ever last night. my parents aren't home (they went on vacation) and they left me & my sister with my older brother. i had a few friends over (they have all been drunk before) and along with my brother's friends, we all got drunk. it was stupid to do while my sister was there (or stupid to do in general) and i think she's really mad and disappointed in me). she's one of my best friends and i feel like i let her down...i set a bad example and she seems pissed and when i apologized and asked if she was mad she said "that's just not you." and she's totally right, and i feel like a huge let down. i know people drink so please don't give me a speech about her needing to be used to it. i just wish i could gain back my sister's trust & i don't want her to look at me differently because of what i did. what should i do?

I know I would react the same way if one of my older siblings did that. She's just acting normal.

And just for the record- I would never tell you to tell her to "get used to it".

I think you should apologize once more, but this time- make a promise to her and yourself. Maybe say, "I promise to you and to myself that I won't drink again until I am of age [or any other end point you wish], and if I do, you can: have my whatever she wants of yours; tell mom and dad I did it; or anything else you can think of."

Hopefully making a promise to her will help her feel better about it. If that doesn't work- ask her what she thinks you should have to do because you drank. Giving her a little say/power will definitely help her feel better.

If not- you know you tried. Sometimes earning trust back is hard to do, especially with family. Just try not to drink until you're 21- and hopefully she'll forgive you.

Good luck!
--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

ok im am getting ready to start high school. i've had boyfriends. but they only lasted like 2 weeks. so i've never really had a relationship. well anyway do you have any advice about boys in high school. i don't want to change myself for a guy thats not an option for me.

:]

Hello.

Since you're asking to my inbox- I'm sure you've seen my column before.

Seen my FAQ? Haha..

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=505520


The second paragraph won't really apply to you- since you don't want to change yourself for boys. That's GREAT!

My answer:
First- I'm going to tell you that relationships aren't all they are cracked up to be. Sure- they are fun having someone to share things with and be with. But they involve a huge commitment and if you end up with someone who is clingy- they'll want to be with you every minute of every day- and you might not have time for friends or anything else you want to do. I say this because my ex-girlfriend was sort of like that- and got mad if I was busy with other plans.. and it was just really retarded. I haven't had a girlfriend since then [last December, I believe].

Anyway- the best way to attract a guy is to be yourself. If you try to change yourself just to get a boyfriend [especially at your age]- you'll just end up with someone who only likes you for what you've become- not who you are. If you be yourself- and don't change- you'll attract more guys who actually care about your personality rather than just your looks.

I myself like any type of girl. I honestly don't judge looks as much as I do personality. If a girl is absolutely stunningly beautiful, but she's a bitch- why would I like her? What would our relationship be? What would we talk about? Her latest hair extensions? Yeah- that would be REALLY nice *Sarcasm: Party of one!*...
If a girl has a really nice personality- and she's really outgoing and sweet and nice and smart- and she's not necessarily the best looking girl- but she's not super unattractive- then I'll most likely want to date her over the beautiful bitch.

Do you get what I'm saying? If you let guys see your personality more than your looks- you'll end up with someone great. Trust me- most guys prefer personality over looks- they just don't know it yet =].


P.S. Here's some more information about guys in high school:

1. They ARE immature. All of them, including me, but a lot of them are immature and mature at the same time. Just be patient.

2. Don't try to date "the hot senior guy". Seniors won't like you. In fact- they already don't like you [I'm assuming your a freshman]. Date guys your own age- or sophomores.

3. If you find a boyfriend- don't advertise it. Its really annoying. You're already an annoying freshman- you don't need anything else on your back. What I mean is that its fine to hold hands- but you don't need to make out and cuddle in front of everyone. No one wants to see that. Its especially annoying to people like me. =]

Have fun in high school!
--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

I really like this guy, and I'm almost positive he feels the same. He always calls me "gorgeous," it's become my second name. The first thing he does when he sees me, is hug me. And basically, finds any excuse possible, to touch me. He seems to love being around me, and he also isn't afraid of bringing me around while his friends are at the same place. Nor does he treat me any differently, while we're around his friends.

So do you think this guy may like me as more than his friend?

I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.

If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!


Here are some other useful links:
http://teenies674.tripod.com/id18.html

http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-a-Guy-Likes-You

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

What is the name of the sport in which players stand on floats in the water and try to knock each other off using objects that look like qtips?

Gladiator Jousting?

http://www.activity-direct.com/images/gladiator%20joust.jpg

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

Hey, Jack. This is your good friend, LagunaBabe.

I really like this guy, and I'm almost positive he feels the same. He always calls me "gorgeous," it's become my second name. The first thing he does when he see's me, is hug me. And basically, finds any excuse possible, to touch me. He seems to love being around me, and he also isn't afraid of bringing me around while his friends are at the same place. Nor does he treat me any differently, while we're around his friends.

So do you think this guy may like me as more than just his friend, and the girl next door (literally, he lives next door!)?

Hey Ashley! =]
Thanks for asking to my inbox. I'm honored!


Well- I'm going to make this short, sweet, and to the point:

Yes, I definitely think he likes you. That's the kind of stuff I do when I like a girl.

I think you've been on this site long enough to know what I would tell you next:

Ask him. That way you'll know for sure. Then see if a relationship could actually happen.


Sorry- I'm tired and I don't feel like expanding my answer =].

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

OK So, me and my friend were discussing this and i just wanted some other opinions. If your a virgin, and you got raped, would you still be a virgin? Cause it's not really your choice and stuff, it's a forced thing.

Thanks.

I agree with what everyone said:

If you have sex, whether it was wanted or not- you lose your virginity.

As the first person said.. you may be a virgin mentally, but not physically.

There's always revirginization. I don't know if it actually exists though.

--Jack
(15/m)

[view]

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