Gender:
FemaleLocation:
Washington stateOccupation:
RetiredAge:
64Member Since:
April 24, 2013Answers:
7093Last Update:
October 11, 2025Visitors:
128434Favorite Columnists
solidadvice4teens
Hollywood22
adviceman49
GiddyGeezer
Razhie
kittenlover2000
Grandfather
rosalee
missundersmock
teehigh
gr8fruit
more...
Main Categories:
Love Life
Families
General Sex Questions
View All
about
Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
advice
I'm 22 years old and recently got into a pretty serious relationship. My folks are old school and freak out whenever I would ask to stay the night at my bfs house or I'd suggest he'd come stay the night with me (still living with my parents). I feel like I'm limited to the things I can do at my house, which sucks! His family is so much different than mine, their so welcoming and kind. He's suggested I move in with him, and I've been giving it so much thought, and I really want to do it because I feel like I just can't be at home anymore, I feel like I can't grow up. Help!
As adviceman said, although you are an adult, entitled to make your own choices, when living under someone elses roof, you must follow their rules, whatever they are comfortable with...same goes if a landlord doesnt want pets and you agree to take the place and not bring in pets, or whatever other rules they have.
So if its cramping your style, either you find roomates and get a placed together right now or go stay at his parents. Your parents may fear the empty nest thing if you're the last or only one to leave but be gentle and let them know you love them but need to live your own life and make own decisions.
I apologize, first and foremost, if this is in the wrong section. It has to do with work, but not exactly. So, hopefully, this question finds it's way to the right people who can answer it for me. My cats had kittens. As of then, they have been neutered and spayed and I found all of the kittens homes. I didn't make money off of them. I charged a small fee and then with that fee, I neutered and spayed my cats. The only request I had was for the people to keep in touch and send me pictures of the kittens, as I did grow to love them very much.
There was this one lady who got one of the kittens. She has a cat already and she was looking for a companion for hers. She was so kind and so nice that I thought it would be wonderful for her to have one. So, I homed one of the kittens with her. She even said that when she went out of town, I would be able to watch the cats for her, which I was thrilled about. Today, I'm suppose to head over to watch them for her. She lives about 45 minutes away from me. But, there were some things that I just didn't feel comfortable with.
Please keep in mind that I agreed to sitting the cats last week. A conversation happened yesterday, where she laid out certain requirements in which I just don't feel comfortable. But, at this point, I don't feel like I can say I'm no longer willing to do it, as she is leaving today. So, I would like to garner advice on ways that I can go about this appropriately, given the time constraints.
First, she told me that she wanted me to stay over at her place... like sleep there. I don't feel comfortable sleeping over at someone's house that I just met, even if there is nobody there. Secondly, I have my own pets to care for. Tomorrow, I have to work. I would much rather get a restful night's sleep in my own house and be closer distance to my job. These are cats, not children. They don't need to be supervised at every hour of the day, like you would a child. She also wants me to stay there the entire weekend. First and foremost, I work full time and I'm in graduate school. This weekend is a long weekend and I am very much looking forward to it because I need the rest. I think it's preposterous to assume that I need be there for the entire weekend. I'm happy to come in the morning, feed everyone, play with them, maybe stay for a few hours and watch TV, read a book. But, I would like to go home at the end of the day and tend to my responsibilities. I would like to be able to leave in the late afternoon. I live alone. No one does my laundry and no one cleans my house. I'm happy to help others, but helping others shouldn't be at the expense of abandoning my responsibilities either.
She then told me that if I wanted to have anyone over, like my mom or a boyfriend, that she would have to meet them first because she didn't want anyone in her house that she doesn't know. I completely understand that and she is within her right to make those requests. But, I am also in my right to feel a little bit uncomfortable with that. I can understand not wanting someone to throw a party in their place... but MY MOM? Not that it's absolutely essential for me to take my mom but it just seems kind of weird. Like I said, it's in her right, as it is her place. But, it kind of makes me feel like she could be hiding something. I never said I was going to bring anyone. She just randomly said that. It's kind of like getting a text message from someone that says "come alone." Obviously, you're going to feel some apprehension about it... like, what's so secretive? I understand her position, but put yourself in my shoes for a moment. Your going to a house that you've never been to, meeting a person that you've only met once. And she specifically requests that you don't bring anyone... not even your mom? And then requiring that you sleep there.. alone? You can see where I feel a little bit strange.
She seems like a really great and nice lady. I doubt that she truly has something up her sleeve. But, you never know nowadays. I'm kind of uncomfortable with the whole situation. But, at this point, it would seem really unfair to back out and I genuinely fear there won't be anyone to take care of the furry friends. Would you please advise me on the best... and possibly the most professional way to go about this?
Did she ask you just yesterday to watch the cats for the weekend? If she sprung it on you the last minute, then its entirely in your rights to tell her that since you two hadn't had the chance to discuss details ahead of time its imperative at this moment because due to your own commitments, you can only look in on her cats to feed them and change litter box and then leave again. That you are unable to stay the whole time. If again this is last minute on her part, and she gets angry, its not your fault.
Now if she asked you days ago or weeks ago, or longer, it was at that time or sometime other than the day of or day before she needed you that details should have been discussed very well. Heck even my ex when needing the dog and cats looked after asked if I would be able to stay the whole weekend and the only issue was that my really new boyfriend, now my husband was supposed to visit me that weekend so I asked if it was okay with him if I invited my friend over and he said it was okay. If a pet is taking medication at the time as was the deal when I watched my daughters cat at my place when she was gone, things like that, and how often the pet needs to be fed and how much and any issues the pets may have, scared of loud noises, etc. should be divulged ahead of time, not on the last minute when the owner may forget something crucial.
Its strange that she believes you do nothing all day and night and have the free time to just sit in her house all weekend. Maybe she's extremely naive, or inconsiderate. If you can't call at once to discuss what you can and cant do and see if she's willing to accept your terms, then she
needs some time to quickly find someone else who will sleep at her house for the whole weekend.
I agree that cats don't need constant watching. ITs a different story with dogs needing to go out to do their business and needing the social interaction more. Never feel bad about saying no to someone if all the situation doesn't sit right with you.
I hope you learned something for the next time in life when you vaguely offer to do someone a favor in the future and one day they hit you up on it. When that happens, remember to get as many details as possible to see if you are still willing to help out. An offer made to help for future, unless a specific date and place and time and other stuff are nailed down right then, it is not a promise that you will for sure do it, its just an offer. In this case, sounds like you accepted the chance to care for the cats as a way to see one of the kittens again and you werent thinking that she might have terms of her own and you also did not think to share with her your terms and obligations that make it impossible to stay at her place 24 hrs a day. So you need to call her ASAP and tell her so and your only excuse for why you didn't say anything when she gave you the list of expectations is that you were too surprised and thinking perhaps you could get out of your obligations to think straight and just turn her down at the time. As it stands, here is what you can offer and are still willing to do. Ask if its okay with her and if not, then you will be unable to watch her cats.
There is a guy who went to school with me until last semester (he graduated early) who's a year older than I am, and we started talking in school alot at the end of last year. Since then, he'd come up to say hi, give me hugs on occasion, and try to scare me by coming up behind me in the hall while I wasn't paying attention. He'd also ask me to sit with him at lunch when we had an altered schedule and we happened to have the same shift, and (sorry this part is misplaced) we' talked quite a bit at his locker and on the way to our different classes. Since he graduated early, I hadn't seen him since first semester until he came a few days ago for a senior awards assembly. I didn't even see him because I was worried about being late to class, but he saw me and said hi, and opened his arms for a hug. He was still hanging around at lunch and asked me to sit with him, but while I sat and ate, he only talked to me once to ask how I was, and then, without ever lookong at me he talked to the underclassmen boys at the table with us. Maybe he was just a little nervous , I don't know.. So from what I've been able to tell you, do you think he likes me? He's a real sweet guy, and I really do like him, but I don't ever have much luck, and I don't want to jump to conclusions so I need another opinion... Thankyou! :). *Also, sorry for any typos*
When a persons personality is to be friendly and caring and a huggy type, their behavior can often be mistaken for a romantic interest unless one is well able to spot some more telling but subtle signs from body language that a person likes you. And even then, it is still hard to tell. The best way to find out is coming up with a non-pressure, non awkward way to ask and find out.
I have found the best way is to let the person you like, know that you enjoy their friendship so far and especially talking to each other and you'd like to have a chance to stay in touch in case he is also interested in staying in touch. Thats non threatening and he's likely going to trade numbers.
Another thing one can do if not sure the other person feels the same you do, is to state your feelings not as something that already exists, but to say, "Hey, I am beginning to have stronger feelings with you than just friendship. How do you feel about me?" I read from a dating expert that stating this as something that is just starting is not as threatening or awkward for the other person to hear in case they don't feel the same. If they state they do have feelings also, then you can add, "So what do you think about us spending more time hanging out together to see if this is something that may be long lasting, maybe set some dates? Other than that, I'd say to surf the net looking for info on body language and such because that is often helpful in determining if a person is interested in you that way or not. A couple obvious ones are finding reasons to come and stand or sit near you, close enough to reach out and touch. Another is when seated, the persons feet are pointed toward you and they tend to lean forward seeming to hang on to every word that you speak. You might want to hunt down some youtube video's on the subject to see a person demonstrating these things. Good luck.
A friend was telling me that someone called her unreliable and I agreed that she was b/c she rarely shows up to important things and doesn't ever text/call when she goes missing for days at a time. She got defensive and was more upset than I knew. A few days later we were talking with other friends and she told me that I "talked more shit than anyone else". I feel hurt that she would say this and seeing that I was hurt she said "well you called me unreliable". I'm still hurt by the comment and considering gradually ending the "friendship", am i overreacting?
Yes, but I'd have to say that it isnt just you, the friend is over-reacting. Often what we mean to really say tactfully doesn't come out right. I know that so if someone fumbles and the words almost sound like an insult, I choose to not take things personally especially if I know the person really well, know their heart and that they care about me. There are right and wrong ways to share certain words with another. It is a skill that hopefully both of you will learn sometime soon in life. There are even books on good communication, whats the proper way and what not to do. YOu now have a personal memory of what not to do. It's best to not say or agree with anything bad about a friend behind their backs either because it has ways of coming back to them. Every one has shortcomings, the things they are not good at. But when its a friend, the fact that they are a friend means there is plenty more than the few things you don't like about them that make them your friend. Its a matter of accepting a person with shortcomings, annoying as they may be, as long as they are not doing any long lasting physical, emotional or mental hurt to you. An example of what I am talking about a person in your life who is always verbally abusive, it never stops. That is harmful stress wise to you and adds up after time has gone by to bring on physical illness or emotional problems for you. That is not the case here with your friend.
As annoying as it may be that she is always late, there are ways a round that. I have known several people like that who never changed no matter how old they got but we liked their friendship anyways for other reasons. So any time we wanted them to be somewhere at a specific time, we took into account the average of how late they tended to run. For one person it was an hour. So if you're hosting a party that starts at 8 pm, on her invite you tell only her that it starts at 7pm so when she arrive later, she's arriving the same time as others or if it takes a bit longer, at least she is still there reasonably not too longer after other guests. I hope this trick helps you as it has helped me.
Ideas for noted to put in a memory jar.
If its a jar for yourself to treasure about memories from your own life, then put in anything that was big and important or funny to you at the time. You can go back as far as you can remember. I still remember having one of those molded plastic doll babies with painted on hair and one foot cracked off. I couldnt stand my doll having it half cracked off, afraid I'd pinch my fingers so I placed it on the edge of bricks from fireplace and stomped on it til the foot came off completely. I lost my doll at a park soon after and when parents bought a replacement, I knew it was'n't my doll cus it had 2 feet so Dad had to saw the correct one off so I'd accept the doll.
It's short stories like this that also make a wonderful memorys for loved ones once a person gets old and passes on. Simple heartwarming or funny stories of your personal experiences, or lets say its for an elderly Mom and all her kids put in memories of things she did that made her a great mom and the funny stuff like maybe the cupcakes she baked for you to take to school and they were terrible cus she accidently used salt instead of sugar. Its those kinds of things that will help. You won't think of all the stories to fill up the jar right away with notes. But put the ones you do remember and carry a note pad with you because at random times, sometimes away from home, another memory will come to you. jO
Hi am a 13 year old female and i am in middle school.
Okay so basically here is a background. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a month but it hasn't really been dating cause we have never went on a date. there is only 3 more weeks left in school and i want to make our relationship NOT one of those in school relationships that end at the end of the school year. so i invited him to watch a movie with me and a group of friends ( a group of 4-5) It would just be me and my friends tho ( hopefully no parents) But i feel like if it is just me and my friends, me and my boyfriend would be pressured into doing something and i wouldn't mind that bu i don't want him to feel pressured. I mean like holding hands and stuff would be fine, but what if he tries to kiss me or something like i really don't know what to do. But i don't even know if he is coming either
Please help me !!!!!!!!!!
Solid advice answered based on the movie date with lots of friends around. But I bet you're wondering what to do with the rest of summer to keep seeing him. Are you allowed to go bike riding by yourself. If so, have him join you on a bike ride. You can stop somewhere to pick up a milkshake or iced drink for refreshment and talk before going on. At a movie, there isn't time to find out what things you have in common and often that isn't the kind of convo you have at school either. This is important, even if done on phone...dont text...just talk so you can hear his laughter or the questioning sound in his voice if he didnt understand what you said. Each of you take turns sharing about all your favorite everythings, from colors, and foods, to music and book genre, and favorite activities. Another couple of places the parents could drop you off at would be a bowling alley or roller skating rink. You can be there without the parents but with lots of other people around.
Lastly, I heard this idea from teens themselves who had parents who were okay with them having a male friend over but as long as she kept her bedroom door open. The thing with having a male friend over consistent enough, (like having girlfriends over) gives your parents a chance to get to know your boyfriend, although depending on their ideas of when you are allowed to date, you might refrain from calling each other bf/gf in front of them and just refer to him as your male friend. This way, other parents got to know how nice the guy was and were able to feel they could trust him around their daughter (if the boy is truly of good character) and they allowed the daughter to date earlier than otherwise with the particular guy. In a couple cases of really open minded parents, older teens were given the okay to have sex as long as they took contraceptives and used condoms. I am not saying that last part is the way to go for you, but it may lead to you also eventually being comfortable enough to hold hands and cuddle while at home watching a movie with parents around.
High I sleep a lot and get mad
You don't provide enough info for us to know why you sleep a lot and what might be going on in your life that makes you angry. Unless you meant to say that you are upset about the fact that you sleep alot. ITs all relative to actually how many hours of sleep per the physiological needs of a certain individual or/and what their daily schedule and life is like.
There are certain humans who need more sleep at specific stages of life. For example infants need lots as they are going through lots of growth. Another big change time for humans is puberty and teen years, where lots of changes again are occuring in the body. Another stage would be for older/senior citizens when due to age, many things don't work like they used to, they don't have the endless energy of youth and they either sleep longer or take lots of naps like little kids.
Then there are people who suffer some dehabilitating illness that robs them of all strength and vitality and they can require lots of sleep. I have a sister like that who can sleep 15 hours straight and needs it. Whether the stress is due to illness or other things in life, stress can make a person need more sleep.
If the amount of sleep you require to function well, is interfering with your life, then it is an issue to seek help for and the best solution I can think of if you haven't already tried, is to go see your Dr. YOu may simply be low on needed vitamins and minerals to function right. As for the anger part, I can't even begin to guess what to tell you as there's not enough information but I'd mention it to school counselors if in school or college or if employed and the company covers one free visit to a counselor, I'd take up that offer and go see someone. At the very least, they may be able to point you in the right direction for trying to get some answers. You shouldn't feel afraid to go to a Dr. or mental health professional...not all who go have mental illness, just too much stress or other issues as was my case when I went to one, same for my daughter who in one visit got all she needed to set herself back on track when she was depressed because it wasnt a chemical imbalance depression but one brought on by dwelling on sad things she couldn't change. Hope you get better
My ex-boyfriend and I dated for around 3 months. In the beginning of our relationship everything was going beautifully. Everybody looked at us like the perfect couple as we both lived on campus of our college over the semester and lots of people saw us constantly together.
Things were going like a dream and we had the most perfect dates. It was more than I could have ever asked for. In the past I had two somewhat serious relationships, but I never desired anybody like I did him and we spent weeks together at a time before going a day without seeing one another. Our emotions for one another were at a high and I thought he was the one.
Then out of the blue things started going really down hill. He started having really bad fits of what seemed like a mix between anxiety and paranoia and in the beginning I was able to pull him out of it, but they just kept getting worse. He would say really terrible (sometimes threatening) things during them that always left me shaken.
I started working a full-time job while attending class and that's when things got really out of hand. He started showing up to my work unannounced, showing up outside my classes, showing up in my dorm in the middle of the night while I was asleep, and one night when I was out with coworkers he called campus safety on me for not being in my room, effectively terrifying all of my roommates as officers searched our apartment. I also found out that night he had driven by my workplace to see if I was there even though he knew I was out with my coworkers.
I was so shaken by the whole thing that I didn't pick up my phone so he called me from another phone number so I would pick up which scared me further and I wound up filing a no-contact order against him, but the police never processed it. A few days later we wound up talking and he said he did all of it out fear that I had been kidnapped or hurt while out with my coworkers and that none of it was with ill intention. I wasn't sure whether to believe him, but I did give him another chance and we wound up back together, our passion for one another even higher than before.
Of course that didn't last long as he fell back into his fits and his friends and parents started looking at me like I was the one doing this to him. He even went so far as to act as if he was going to kill himself while I was away which was horrible and all of his friends blamed me. I started becoming really scared of him and what he would do and was going to great lengths to stay away from him, but he would still show up wherever I was, even waiting in the parking lot for me to come to my car to leave for work. During this period we weren't officially together or broken up and he said he wanted to still be with me which is why he kept trying to pull me back in while I was clearly distancing myself.
At the end of the semester I broke up with him again, without the intention of getting back together with him after, telling him I needed a break over summer as he went back home to another state.
We went two weeks without talking at all and I'm not going to lie, I thought about him every day. I was a cocktail of emotions about it because our highs were so amazing, but our lows were nothing short of horrifying and I didn't understand why he acted the way he did or why people blamed me.
I got a call from him today and in short he told me that he went to see a doctor and has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 2 and put on medication. We talked about everything that happened and he really wants me to give things another chance after summer when classes resume. I'm of course very relieved that he wasn't to blame for his fits, and that he's on medication.
I don't know what to do though. I do care a lot about him because our chemistry was so strong and when things were right they were amazing. I want to believe that now that he's received help and is on medication that things will be better, but I don't know what affects his medication will have or that it really helps at all. Unfortunately, I feel as though I won't know that without finding out in person and by then it might be too late.
I'm so lost and confused about it. I know my parents and friends won't approve because of everything he put me through and lord knows his parents and friends felt as though I was to blame and I don't want to get caught up in that drama, but at the same time I figure maybe they'll come around with time if things go smoothly.
I really just need any kind of advice or thoughtful words.
thankyou because your whole story was needed to understand what is going on. He can say he's better and than he has seen a Dr. and diagnosed and is on medication, but until you know that for certain, it could be just a tactic to get you back. So check things out first before agreeing to get back together. I know plenty of people who say they are bipolar but are on meds. And some I never knew before medication so I'd never have guessed they are bipolar as they act very normal. In some cases, people have trouble with their medication, or aren't regular taking it/forgetful and that causes problems, or they have side effects they dont like, a big complaint of those on mental health meds. and the side effects make them so miserable they just stop taking the med instead of seeking the Drs help to try and find another med to use. Everyones different in how their body responds so as long as he is proactive in dealing with his bipolar, then it should be okay, as long as bipolar was the only reason for his behavior. If there is something else, you'll see it soon enough. There are plenty of women with boyfriends and husbands who don't have a mental illness who are still assholes and don't deserve to have a female in their life.
Hi. I just want to know if it's normal when i cry for no reason? Not that I'm depressed or stressed. Its just that I cry at the corner of my room without tears that's falling. Its like tantrums? I dont know why i'm being like that.
I like Kori's idea of keeping a journal to read back over and perhaps something will stand out to you.
I would say it may depend on how often you cry. If its a handful of times during a month, it is likely a stress relief mechanism as stated. If daily and several times a day, then it isn't normal. You didn't mention age or sex but I will state in case you match the situation, teen girls going through puberty can find their emotions going out of control for whats considered normal at other periods of life. During the teen years for females, it is not abnormal to find you cry easily or get mad or irritated easily for of course, no good reason at all. I did this, my daughters all did this and as far as I know, every female goes through it to some extent. And this kind of crying is not due to stress or depression as you stated is your case. If you are a teen, you may just have too high an amount of hormones which can cause the normal teen girl crying of several times a week to become an every day all day thing. In that case, seeing a Dr. and checking hormone levels is needed as they can treat and regulate the hormone levels and once that happens, your emotions go back to normal. I haven't experienced that but have read about it as being a more common thing recently in girls. Some suspect the extra female hormones are picked up from our environment, what we eat, breath, water, and what comes in contact with our skin. Regardless of what causes it, this can mess up a life until taken care of by Dr.s.
NOw if you are an older person and either male or female, I can't know if it is normal because I know nothing about your life and history. But it wouldnot hurt to see a mental health professional and if squeamish about going to one and getting put on meds. as the worst end result, I'd try for a psychologist who uses other methods first, several including CBT, Cognitive behavoral therapy where their last option is actually trying medications. Some psychologists still only believe in medication only. So its important who you choose if you decide to go this way.
There could be something in your past, life changing, traumatic, maybe the loss of someone and its a few years in the past, but enough new dissappointments that on their own are not depressing in general may just be the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. You may in a way be depressed due to several past incidences, and then your thoughts regarding the final one, thoughts you haven't clued in as connected to your crying, could be all part of it. I am no Dr. just sharing stuff I know from other people I know who had this situation just as an example that you may find a faster solution to the crying by seeing a professional, if it is becoming disruptive to you being able to live a normal life.
Everyday my dad gets home from work and I try to talk to him about things but he's always short with me. He'll just say "yeah" or he'll burp loudly and obnoxiously for no reason and then sings sexual shit all the time talking about assholes and sucky sucky stuff. I laugh but at the same time it bothers me because he's 52 and still doing this. I tell him to stop and act civilized but he doesn't listen.
Is there a Mom in the picture? Talk to her. If no Mom and you are an adult yourself, you may want to think about finding any way possible to stop living with him. I know its likely financial reasons, but finding others who need to get out of parents home and all of you renting an apt. or house together is an option or renting a bedroom in someones home, there are ads out there for that.
If you are a teen, don't attempt to talk to him or change him, at this point he's unlikely to change. Just try to spend most your time in your own space, wear headphones and listen to music you like when he is singing his bawdy pub style songs. You laugh cus you're uncomfortable with this but he may take that as a sign you're okay with it. So then at same time telling him to stop is sending mixed signals or he simples believes that whatever you say now is just your way of teasing him about it non seriously. So either try again to have his full attention, like perhaps not at home where he can be distracted by all sorts of stuff, but out at the local coffee shop. If he won't go, then try to talk to him at home and let him know your laughter isn't approval, that his behaviour makes you very uncomfortable and you want to see if the two of you can work out something together so both of you are happy. Its his home, he pays the rent or mortgage and if this is his way to unwind after work, he's not likely to change, just for his child.
I understand the need for a female to have a father figure in her life. If your Dad is not being a good one, not available to have convo's with, then perhaps there is a male relative older and mature who can fill the spot for need of conversation and social interaction? A grandfather, uncle? If at best, only by phone calls, and they are willing, then its better than nothing. People have unofficially adopted people other than blood, as family because they both fill a need for each other. So maybe there is a friends Dad you felt kinda close to growing up and it wouldn't hurt to explain what you told us and how you thought of him as a substitute father image to meet your needs, and ask if he'd like to accept the honor.
I was on my way to work this morning and I got sick and before I had time to get home and call in , my employer called a man that he knew which also happens to know my parents and told the man that I hadn't shown up for work and hadn't called in and he ask the man if he could call my parents and tell them i have yet to show up for work and that I had not called in either and that he was going to write me up if they did not get a hold of me and I did not call him. Is this legal for him to tell a man I do not even know about me not coming in and telling him about writting me up and also asking this man to get a hold of my parents and tell them all of this?
You'd have to talk to a lawyer to see if there are laws against this. But my opinion is that regardless, his actions were tactless, rude, and in very bad manners.
I realize that average people will talk about their employers and co workers especially things that stand out, funny stuff, or when there are problems and issues. But usually its just to vent and no names are shared. If a person knows who you work for, then to vent, people can say theres a person they know who did this and that and not relate it to work. It's all about keeping people anonymous and protecting the innocent and also the not so innocent (as in its the job of the law and courts to take care of the not innocent, not yourself) At least, this was embarrassing for him to talk to others, mention your name, and ask another person how to get in contact with your parents.
I am guessing that this particular employer has hired young people before who truly stretched the limits of what was acceptable at work and he's had to fire several and now carries a suspicious feeling about ALL young people. NOt saying that gives him the right to do what he did, but it certainly might explain it. Unless there are written rules that in ALL cases of becoming ill, you must give them so many hours notice by phone before your shift starts, then such a situation is going to be kind of all over the place, some getting sick right after arriving at work or sometime in the morning (happened to me), on the way to work, or while still at home. You have no control over when your body is going to give you the signs it is seriously ill so he is being unreasonable. NOw lets say this was a fast food job and if one is missing and it is extra busy at the time period of you being expected, it is a hardship on the rest of crew to cover all positions but this thing happens all the time and they don't want you working while ill so the sooner they know, the sooner they can call someone to come in and cover your shift. But if this is something like an office job, it may be hard but jobs and tasks can be left to be done the next day or most important ones covered by coworkers. I've worked both types of jobs and I have been ill not often, but enough to have a memory of the history of that. I would ask the parents what they think you should do. If you were very new, not long hired, and the employer didn't have a trackable history of how dependable you are, then you might want to just have a private chat with him. YOu may be younger or in a lower position than he but you don't have to be a door mat and allow people to continue to treat you so in the future once you bring it to their attention, but in a nice way with tact. As long as you are innocent and do not have a track record of missing work alot and not calling in, then you could say:
Hey boss, I'd like to talk to you about the day I got sick on the way to work. I learned how you got antsy while waiting to hear from me and couldn't wait any longer and decided to contact a person who knew my parents to get their number to call them about me and threaten writing me up. I may be young, but I feel I still reserve respect and to not feel belittled or embarassed which is how I felt by what was said, done and insinuated. But I quickly want to say that I can't totally blame you either as you likely have had several flakey employees in the past and so you don't trust new ones so easily. I have worked here so long (give time) and perhaps that is not enough time for you to get to really know me as an employee and have a memory of my track record. If I put myself in your shoes, I might have been concerned too, just may not have gone that far. I want to let you know that you can trust me in the future to call ASAP. (IF you dont carry a cell) I do not have a cell phone so thats why you didnt get a call while I was enroute, but I promise to call and speak to you or leave a message asap. If there is ever any question concerning me or my actions, I prefer that you call and leave your name on my home phone and ask me to call you as soon as I get the message and not leave details as to what it is about. I know that as time goes by, I'll be able to prove myself a trustworthy employee to you and you won't be going through this kind of worry again. All I ask is to be treated with common courtesy in the future and you and I can put this episode in the past and forget about it.
So about two and a half weeks ago I had sex with my boyfriend. I was on birth control, but I had missed two pills that same week (when I forgot to bring it with me on a weekend trip) so we also decided to use condoms. Well I don't know what happened but the side of the condom tore on the top (not on the bottom where the tip is) and I was afraid that after he came some of it might have gotten out.
We discussed whether or not I should take Plan B because we figured the chances were really slim that I would get pregnant between the condoms and the birth control, but I decided to take it just in case.
I still got a little scared because my period was a week late, but it did happen so I felt okay. The issue is after my placebo week I was on the next week of my birth control (so I'd been taking it for seven days after my placebo week) and since then I've been bleeding every day which isn't normal. I shouldn't be bleeding while on my birth control for over a week. The only thing I can figure is that the Plan B is causing something to happen? However, like I said, I took that over two weeks ago.
Should I consult my doctor or wait it out and see if it goes away after another few days?
A call to your drs office is free. Those answering the phone will field your question to the Dr or their assistants to see if this is something you should come in about.
Since its been only 2 1/2 weeks since having sex, taking plan B, getting a period, a placebo week and a week of bleeding while taking active pills again, doing the math of subtracting placebo and active pills weeks only leaves the half week of 3 or 4 days in which to have sex, take plan B next day, and that then leaves only one or two days for a period? As a female, I can share my opinion that one day doesnt sound like enough time for a period.
If you are a young teen, your body is still getting used to the hormones of puberty that is changing your body and periods for teens, myself included back then, can be very inconsistent and kthats even without any sex in the equation. But when you start taking the kind of pill that is supposed to stop a period totally or take plan B, it messes up your regular cycle very easily, if it was regular to begin with. If your pill is the kind where you ARE supposed to get a period, then I would think it normal to get one right after the placebo's. And the fact it's lasting longer than usual may be due to plan B, or your body is finally had enough of this sort of birth control and it's not right for you, so your body is acting up. When it may just be an issue of the contraceptive eventually not getting along with your body and needing to find a new one, that is also another good reason to talk to Dr. office and set an appt. They can answer questions and give you ideas of what else there is to take.
Most popular are the hormone based with least amount of fuss involved types, like pills, patches or the shot. But if your body is sensitive to the hormones and will continue to react to them, not only will you continue to have troubles while taking them but you won't be able to have carefree sex, always worrying about pregnancy. I suggest you research now on line about the most effective birth controls hormonal and non hormonal and to what percent effective and side effects if any. You will learn more on line than the little time DR. has to update you on this. Personally, I feel if a female is young,maybe college age and doesnt want kids for a while but has boyfriend or husband, then the best device is the IUD. Until more recently, the only one was a non hormonal one, Paraguard, copper IUD. Now there is the Mirena or whatever the name of the IUD using hormones added to it. The nice thing is if it works for you, the DR. inserts it once and then you don't have to do anything for the next 7-10 yrs. With the copper IUD, I got my period because no hormones are involved and one can stop it and try immediately to get pregnant and with luck be able to do so right away. It is more effective than the pill. The way is works is the same as an ancient contraceptive method of drinking tEa made of the seed and blossoms of wild carrot/daucus carrota. Both make the lining of the uterus too slippery for any fertilized egg to attach to, so you can't become pregnant. Hope all this helps you and do talk to your Dr.
after I put my money In the slot on the bus, the bus driver said to me thank you I appreciate it just smiling his azz off...he didn't say that to anyone else, everyone else just got a normal thank you. as i got off the bus, I told him have a great day and he just put his head down just smiling and watching me get off the bus and said you have a good day too...was he just being friendly or flirty? he is very nice looking, around 30-35, tall and very cute..i wouldn't mind going on a date with that guy....but im not the type to approach men due to previous bad experiences...this is the first time ive ever seen this driver ....
Well just using logic, I know I'd be more prone to flirt with someone I find attractive and not at all with someone I don't. I am married and not looking for someone to cheat with. But for many, flirting is fun, even if you don't mean to seriously follow up on it. Its like a fun pastime. Then for others, it's their normal personality and how friendly they are, maybe a bit friendlier with those they'd like to get to know.
So the answer is it could be both. But you can tell about the friendliness part if you get the opportunity to watch him over time. Is he friendly with all every day? Then its probably his personality. If he's singling you out in any way treating you different than anyone else consistently, then he's attracted to you.
This would mean both of you are at the attractions stage of a possible relationship. The next step is getting more time to talk than you can on the bus to see if you are still interested in learning more about him and that is the dating stage. Dating isn't necessarily a commitment though after a while of exploratory dating and falling in love, two people will make a commitment to each other, either to be steady partners, or to marry.
Now you should realize that more talk is needed to discover if you both still like each other.
Not every guy wears a ring,
I know you said you don't approach men due to bad experiences. What you needed to learn f rom your bad experiences is how to spot a bad guy the soonest possible and hon, theres no way to totally avoid giving a bad guy a little of your time in a meet up or a date because at first, most will put their best foot forward. After some time, usually weeks if you see or speak to the other several times a week, you'll catch the other person letting their guard down, doing away with their fake persona and you'll see some things you question. Don't make excuses for the guy, just watch to see if it happens again and if so, leave that relationship.
So if you learned anything, it should help you with any future guys. I'm older with more experience and still I was fooled by many I met on dating site before i met my 2nd husband. Its just part of life. There will be liars and cheaters out there, and people trying to hide their grievious faults, but it all comes out in the end. I usually saw something I didn't like in the first meet up, never going to the dating point. But the longest it took once I knew what to look for as red flags, was the 3rd date with one guy. thats when he showed his true self and blew it with me.
So if you want to see if theres any possibilty with this guy, you have to pursue it. Guys are just as shy about the initial approach as females are. I'd ask him first if he's married or in a commited relationship. If he asks why, you let him know that you are interested in getting a chance to chat with him more than you can on the bus and would like to trade numbers, but you don't want to be horning in on any other relationship he's in. Or if he doesnt ask why, you tell him that in explanation next anyways. If he's in a relationship and turns you down, it'll still make his day to have a female interested. If he's not with anyone, then your interest in him is a lovely compliment and if he's attracted and curious, he'll be open to talking more and say something along the lines. Either you both trade cell numbers right then, or you write a note with yours on it to slip to him as you get off the bus.
What is your fastest hair growth routine?
My hair is a really short pixie cut and I need to grow it at least a tiny bit below my chin.
I don't believe that there is a way to speed up hair growth. I have long hair and have talked to many others who have it too and have always asked if there was something different one did to grow hair longer faster. Even in the same family, I have found it to simply be hereditary, based just on the genes you got.
My grows slow enough that I even hate to trim the ends from time to time for an even straight edge all around. Even the hairs on my head grow out at different rates with shorter and longer ones and thus the need for a trim sometimes.
My best advice is to just take good care of your hair which surprising includes some of the simplest actions, not over washing like twice a day or every day. I let my hair get wet in a shower but i don't actually use shampoo except once every 3 or 4 days. People with oilier hair need often but other than that, washing more often strips away the good beneficial hair moisterizers your scalp produces.
Also avoid overuse of heating implements eiether for blow drying, straightening or curling as that damages hair too.
The less damage and abuse hair gets, the easier it will be to grow out.
If this isn't a preference and crucial that you have longer hair, like for acting a part in a play, then I'd check into hair extentions, if your hair is long enough to add on to, but this can be expensive, or wearing a wig for the part. Other than that, I'd have to say, patience is going to be needed.
(I apologize for how long this is but I have a habit of rambling and saying too much info)
I love my best friend dearly, and she's been having a rough time lately. She's hotheaded and stubborn to the point of almost close mindedness and doesn't like to admit she needs help. But she's also the most generous, selfless and strong person I've ever met. She's been through more in her short life than she ever should have. I can't put into words how much I respect and look up to her.
It's her 18th birthday in a couple weeks. We've known each other our entire lives, and have been very close all throughout high school. Though since she's about to graduate and move, I am as well but will be staying behind for a year, I worry we might not stay as close as we are (for a multitude of reasons that would take way too long to explain.)
Anyway, she's been going through a lot lately, and I know there is a lot she isn't telling me, but I don't ask, as I know she'd probably lie and say she's fine or brush it off as less than it is(but at the same time I worry). I just want to make her happy on her birthday, I want to do something that will make her smile and know that even though I may not always be the best at showing it, I'm there for her the best I can be, and that I care about her. Even if she thinks I don't as much as I do.
I have put a lot of thought(Probably too much) into this, I want to post something on Facebook as she has always posted something sweet for me on mine the last few years. I have this typed up:
"Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday!! You finally made it and survived the hell called school to 18! I'm so proud of you, and I know with all my heart you will go on to do so many great things. You've been there from day one and we've made a lot of memories over the years, From running circles in my house as toddlers, to being partners in the game telephone in Ms. Benders class, to being on yellow team together in Sparkies, playing man-on-sand at the park, driving around in Tina, and now your graduation.
There's been good times and not so great times, but you've always been there, and through all these years, I've seen just how wonderful you are. You are kind, compassionate, and stand your ground for what you believe is right. You would help anyone if they needed you. You are stronger than anyone I've ever met, and I hope one day I could be half the person you are. I respect you so much, and I am never happier then when I'm by your side. If you were batman, then I'm robin. You're my role model, my best friend and I'd follow you to the ends of the earth. If I am unsure about anything, I turn to you. I know I can always count on you for anything, and I cherish our friendship more than anything. I know God has great plans for you, you are such a beautiful person, inside and out. I'm so glad and grateful to have you in my life, God truly did give me you and I thank him for it everyday.
I know this is a little cheesy, but I've never heard lyrics that are more true, so I dedicate this video to you on your 18th birthday"
then was going to make and add a video along with it, I've been planing to put a video of me singing for her birthday for a couple of years now but never did, and mom said if I do she'll give me 40$ that I could give her for a present.(Mom's been trying to get me to do something musical and my friend specifically said she wanted money)
I just don't know if that would be overboard... or what song to sing and how to edit the video..
I could just post a cover of a song, but I am not sure what song, she doesn't like most pop songs and I can't think of any country or other songs that could fit friendship. And I'm not sure if editing it would be too much, or how to fit it in since we don't have many pictures. I just don't want to do it all for her to not like it, and I don't want to do too much or make it seem about me by doing the cover. Or if there is anything else I could do, I draw her pictures all the time and I can't think of anything else...Any thoughts you have on the situation would be appreciated...
TL;DR
Wondering what I could do for my best friend's(who's been going through a rough time) 18th birthday how much I care w/o going overboard or annoying her.
I cant help with how to post video's or create them as I never have but people do this all the time for birthdays. Theres so much on free videos now that I can think of the next person I know who has a birthday, put in Happy Birthday and their name and then choose videos instead of images and then I scroll thru and watch several. If you want to go this easy way, watch first as some are done in other languages.
As a gift to remember you by after you guys are apart, well, you know her best but if she likes jewelry, perhaps a friendship necklace where you each wear a 1/2 of a heart or get a locket with photo of you on one side and her on the other. Or if shes not a necklace person but would wear a ring, perhaps buy matching rings for both of you to wear so everytime you see it, you remember each other. Those are my best suggestions.
How do I develop self confidence? Or how do I stop being so conscious about what others might think?
I was once in your shoes and have overcome this all.
In order for you to do so, you'd need to be willing to face and do the very thing you are afraid of, essentially facing your fears. No, there isn't another way, but you can regulate how fast or how slowly and how often you do this until you are cured.
Thats what I liked about the program I followed to get over my extreme social anxiety as well as the two things you mentioned. Once I was no longer so shy, I still had to battle self confidence and once i did that, I found it easier to become no longer worried what others might think.
Okay, so whats the big secret to gaining self confidence...can't remember where I read this but I took a version of what I read and applied it to myself and it worked with shocking results. When it comes to self confidence, we are always comparing our selves to others, there will always be someone smarter, with talents we don't have, prettier in our eyes, and so we feel defeated to even start...at least I know my mind works this way and from studies and reports I am sure most others do as well.
So heres the principle: find an actor, actress or other famous person who seems to ooze self confidence on the screen and find one little thing about you that you can beleive in your mind you have in common, whether its the same hair color, mouth and eye shape, body size, etc. and you will use that item by borrowing it to gain self confidence. What I did is decide that my eyes were very expressive and pretty and I choose an actress who also had expressive eyes though in truth we werent' identical, hers were different in shape and color than mine. Next, everytime I left the house, or before entering a room or other building or sometimes during the time I was in a room, like when I had to walk anywhere, I would imagine that people would react on seeing me as if they were seeing that actress, and noticing the very thing I felt the best about me as. The results were amazing. There were many times I forgot to do this focusing with my mind, my thoughts imagining this and I still got the amazing results. Whether i was wearing makeup or not, men and women who were strangers to me felt compelled to walk up and tell me what beautiful eyes I had. Once you get compliment often enough on the same thing, you begin to develop your own confidence.
I know some of us will look in a mirror and see ourselves as ugly, wall flowers, etc. so if this is the case for you and you can't find one thing about yourself to focus positively on, then I suggest the next thing to do first. Take time to scroll the internet for photos of celebrities you think are really beautiful and then look for photo of them in real life, without the makeup tricks and hair tricks done to be in the public eye. One half of them, I can't identify at all cus they look so different, ordinary or have tons of freckles, age splotches, wrinkles, mishapen facial features. Its amazing the optical illusion of what makeup can do. And yet, once done up, these famous people are looked up to and idolized and many wish they looked at pretty as these people. Now if a celebrity can have the self confidence but actually look more like you on an ordinary day, then you will know that makeup or not, you can easily be seen as just as interesting or pretty or handsome as the next famous person. There are very few true born beauties in show business, more often, a person is chosen for their stage presence, personality, and how photogenic they are. Some people don't capture as well on photo and film whether wearing makeup or not. So try your own version of this until you have developed your own self confidence and if a female, try to get this as I did without makeup at times. The trick is not to have confidence in the makeup or what you wear but in yourself. Self confidence is picked up by people who see you, not as a tangible thing, because like air, it can't be seen, but the energy vibes of it can be felt. and people like to hang around those that make them feel good too so if you feel confidence and fun then people want to be around you.
Even so, once I gained self confidence, I had to get past one little thing, I didn't feel self conscious if I were in a big group of people, like lets say, a member in a choir. But if it came down to singing alone in front of a crowd, it was another thing, something I forced myself to do, something where all eyes would be on me. Or theres the times when I dressed up in colors and styles that didn't fit how everyone else was dressed, something that would stand out and perhaps not all would like, and thats ok cus we are entitled to our own tastes and likes and everything. Just becuase someone else doesnt like something about you doesnt mean that all people will. I remind myself of that pretty much still every day or at least weekly. Watch your thoughts dear because we all get negative thougths, and some about ourselves too. The problem is when you dwell too long on those distorted thoughts that your actions will follow through. I am sure you know what I mean by that, the person with little or no self confidence is pretty easy to pick out in a room as they don't look others in the eyes, likely cus of what they are afraid they are going to find there for one thing. Our bebehavior is controlled by how our thoughts go. So if after tring on your own and you find you still haven't got the confidence you seek, it may be a bit more complicated but the treatment the same, called cognitive behavioral therapy and one can find a psychologist wwho uses this therapy to help people get over something that is holding them back in life. Its not medicated, or long term either. It just going thru it and any exercises given at the rate you are comfortable and willing to do.
Good luck dear.
25/f. I've been friends with this girl, let's call her Janet, since I was 17 years old. Since we met, she automatically labeled me as her best friend and since then, we started hanging out more and more. But, she doesn't really treat me like a best friend, so I really don't understand why I bear that title. She's done so many rude things, but this time, she really crossed the line. I happen to be adopted and I know my biological parents... she has made inappropriate comments about them and I found that to be way out of line. There was a lady that use to help me clean my house every week and I fired her immediately when she made an inappropriate comment about them as well, such as this whole stigma of "abandoning me." Nobody abandoned me. They were teenagers when they had me and they placed me in a home with people who could take care of me. No one threw me in an orphanage. No one found me in a dumpster. I think it's really inappropriate, judgmental, and immature to be making those comments to my face. So, quite honestly, that's already enough of a reason to not want to be friends with her.
But, it gets worse. I started seeing this guy who turned out to be a real jerk and i was really upset about it. During the time we were together, I got pregnant and had a miscarriage. It was the first time I had ever had sex, as I lived a very sheltered life. This only happened back in December. I fell in love with this guy, head over heels, and he moved out of state. I was hurt about it. When I told her, back in December, about me being pregnant, she said that he always was in love with her. Whether or not that is true is irrelevant. The point is that it wasn't the time to bring it up. I didn't speak to her for about a month
Because of being adopted, I take a pro-life stance, and have always been very vocal about it. I run a local non-profit organization where all the money goes to a safe house for pregnant woman so that they can get all of the care and counseling they need throughout their pregnancy. I decided to forgive her about the guy, since he was in fact a jerk, and told her about the miscarriage. She said that she had actually thought that I had an abortion. I think that if she actually thought that about me, then, she really doesn't know me at all. I mean, everybody and their mother knows that about me. How can she call herself my "best friend" and think that I would do something that I taken steps towards aiding?
Then, she spent the rest of the week texting me about friends of hers who have just gotten pregnant and rubbing it in my face, knowing how heartbroken I was after I just lost my baby. She asked me to accompany her to a store and ended up taking me to a mommy and me boutique.
Recently, she asked me to accompany her to California and at first, I said yes. This was before the baby and me store. Now, she's holding me about it and I just want to be honest. I want to tell her that I honestly don't want to be her friend anymore because
1) she insulted my mother
2) she is completely inappropriate in helping me when I was hurt, which is what a best friend is suppose to do
3) she was insensitive to my miscarriage
But, I'm scared of her, as she is very conflict provoking and honestly, I'd rather avoid the conflict. I'd rather just avoid her altogether.
Please assist me in ending this "friendship" in the best and most peaceful way possible.
She sounds like the kind of person who might become vindictive if you attempt to break the association with her, I wont bother to call it a friendship as I agree, to be a friend, it would require really knowing you which doesn't seem the case by what you've written.
So if you are determined to cut her off and not deal with her ever again, may I suggest being careful not to give a 'laundry list' of reasons to her as to why. YOu don't have to give specifics such as the 3 items you listed. Someone who isn't understanding and caring likely has a list of offenses that could be dozens if not a hundred. Its not how many items and what items are on your list as reason to split up, but whether that core part of her is unchanged, that place deep inside her where all this comes from. If those core parts of her are unchanged, and no one can change her but herself and a willingness to see that she could use some improving combined with the desire to want to change. Only then can a profession work with her and help her get on the right track. Youare only in charge of yourself, so you have control only over your own thoughts and actions.
So one blanket statement may be the best way to go if you are afriad of her reactions. Its the same way I have personally let down a guy I met to check out, without having made a commitment too, that he and I wouldn't work out. And I had a laundry list of reasons like he lied to me, was a heavy smoker, had a temper, was controlling, bad mouthed almost everyone else they weren't with at the time, etc.... I could have just given them the truth that I could not consider a relationship with them because of their lying and temper and guess what that would have started, a fight for him to have the last word and if angry enough, to continue to harass and pester me in the days to come and possibly threaten me with something as well. I saw the anger of just one guy even though I tactfully only shared my standard reason,
there just isn't enough chemistry between us to make it work. And then I follow it by, "I've given it a good try by going on so many dates with you, or hanging out so and so much. There is a special chemistry needed to be friends and that is part also of a healthy couple relationship when looking for a mate so keep that in mind.
If you can learn how to handle friendships with girls and unwanted unhealthy ones and how to end those, then you will be more successful when it comes time to try this again with a male to date and hopefully marry someday.
I personally would say, I am not speaking lightly here because we've known each other for 8 years or more. In all this time that I have associated with you, I feel something is missing, like the normal chemistry there should be between friends. We are both too different from each other for this to be a successful friendship. I have changed enough as a person that whom I would seek out now for a friend would be really different than you. And so I have decided to move on and am officially breaking up with you as a friend."
Talking like this hopefully will stroke her rather than ruffle her feathers. Since she sought you out in the beginning and it wasn't you choosing her, she's never been your choice but that isn't something to tell her, it will only provoke anger...I know as I lived for a good part of my life with a husband with whom no matter what I said or didn't say, it angered him and put fuel to his internal fire in his mind, so I was in a damned if I do and damned if I don't situation. Mental illness for him. Cant say thats the case with this girl but it could very well go initially wrong where no matter how you handle it, she'll get real upset and angry. IT can't be helped. But what I can say, is that if you watch carefully what you say, don't go into the real specific reasons for wanting to break up, and don't point out the list of things you gave us ( cus adults hate being corrected, it brings out the worst in them) then even if she at first gets upset, when she's had time to think over how you treated her, it will sound like valid reasons on your part without you having made her feel bad or ridiculed and in time she should leave you alone with coming back to 'haunt you' so to speak.
If you choose to never respond to her calls and just not show up, that is actually seen as rude and in poor taste by many people and that alone could anger her, even before realizing that this is the way you're choosing to break up with her.
Good luck dear!
Last night I had a dream I was in a church and Jesus walked up to me. I started talking to him about dreams I've been having and how I feel about this one guy for so long. How in love with this guy I am. And Jesus finally answered the question I've been asking Him for SO long!
It's possible for Jesus to give you answers to your questions through dreams, right?
When we are asleep, it is our subconscious mind at the forefront and what continues to run things like our automatic taking of our next breath once asleep. The subconscious is also much easier able to hear straight from the spiritual plane, whether it is Jesus, or ones angels or loved ones who have passed over. While awake, our conscious mind is too busy with our internal dialogue going on non stop for any spiritual connection that is being made to our subconscious to get instantly transfered from our subconscious to our conscious minds. While many do achieve this, it is more due to training their awake/conscious minds to stop that chatter by use of meditation or other means which aren't necessary once we are asleep cus the conscious mind is too, and is not chattering away with tons of awake time thoughts.
But I must also caution that what you recieve in dreams may not always be something straight from spirit but dreams created by your subconscious's deepest desires, wish, anything that involves emotions as our emotions are highly tied up with the subconscious mind. I will give an example as to how the subconscious mind can create dreams based on what you have heard, seen during the day or events that happened, things that brought an emotional response or keep on with the emotional responses.
Take a movie that you watched and though you knew it was just actors and made up movie scripts, when it gets to the really sad parts, we cry, or injustice parts, we get real angry, or a wonderrful love story, we feel romantic and happy and on top of this world. We know its not real but our emotions get sucked in to respond as if it was. It is more often, 99.9 percent of the time that there is no special meaning or signs or omens in our dreams, just wishful thinking from our emotions that live in our subconscious mind. I truly do wish many of my dreams had been true but alas they are not.
Only you will have a better chance of knowing if this was a sign to you or not. At least, time will tell.
I met someone who lives very far away from me online. But I had an amazing connection with him, loved him completely. Then I met my current boyfriend, who found out about me talking to him later on. He was very upset and threatened to put a restraining order on him. Now I am stuck trying to get him to speak to me and at least get some closure. I would like some thoughts on this situation and what to do. Also want to know if I'm a horrible person. I'm a 17 year old girl
The only Real relationships that are LDRS, are the ones that start for the couple in person, knowing and already dating or married and either one or both go to different colleges, go into the armed forces, or some other such reason for being apart for a while, the relationship was already established. There are people who everyday chat with others they met on line either in dating sites, on game sites, or in an avatar world like 2nd life. And these people find themselves easily drawn in to relationships with someone on line but what they are getting out of it is their mental emotional needs met. The part of a normal relationship that is missing is the physical part. So not arguing that one can't fall in love but As i learned in internet dating, the sooner you can take it from the internet into real life is the best. Even I just with talking on the phone until we could set a date in person to meet found my mind drawn in to who the person seemed to be. When I met in person, I found that they had been able to hide too many things from me and were not at all what I was hoping and looking for. Those few who were right, I found in person that both of us did not feel any real chemistry for the physical part. A kiss from the guy was like getting a romantic kiss from brother or dad, yuck. No excitement or passion in their presence.
So what I am saying is that you can't pin your future hopes on a relationship that is only established halfway. So for the internet guy to feel you are cheating on him or the real time guy to feel jealous and accuse you of cheating by having an internet friend, it is ridiculous to me to say either way is being a cheater. One can fall for someone, but until both people are mature enough and old enough to get into a real in person relations and make a commitment to be together for any length of time because both are in love, in is only dating and there is dating with commitments and also without. Dating is for the purpose of discoveering more about a person you are attracted to to see if you are even more interested, and want to spend your life with the person or discover things you will not tolerate and end the relationship.
So you are not horrible, you are like I was at your age, naive about relationships, as I married at 20 and found out after that he was verbally abusive.
Your current boyfriend being upset and threatening to put a restraining order on the other guy is him blowing a bunch of hot air cus he's insecure as a male and will feel threatened if he sees you talking to any male or any male, neighbor, relative or friend or coworker he sees chatting with you, he will accuse you of enticing them, cheating on him or just go and try to knock the guy out with his fists. This is not love for you tho you may think so at your age. it is controlling possessive behavior. So I am already concerned about the boyfriend in real life. Its not easy to learn what to look out for and what is good or bad signs and behavior from a guy but you will eventually learn simply by going thru it all the hard way, the school of hard knocks and there is lots of heartache and pain along the way until you find someone great. some luck out early on.Most like me learn stuff along the way, divorce and then 2nd time around, make a hell of a better choice in a boyfriend or mate.
As for restraining orders, if the internet guy was close enough to actually be physically threatening your new boyfriend, then he could go thru police and court to get a restraining order done against that guy contacting him but he can not set up a restraining order to keep the guy from contacting you. YOu would have to feel threatened and put the restraining order in motion, not him. For him to threaten to do so is a big red flag dear. If you want an in person boyfriend, you can do a heck of a lot better than him. Don't settle for less at this age, you have lots of exploring to do and do not have to commit to a guy to date one. I didnt 2nd time around. I told all the men interested in me that I would not be making a commitment to one guy and stop dating around until I had dating each guy long enough to learn enough about each to actually make an educated decision as to who was best for me in a committed relationship. And trust me when i say that the men were okay with that. Only the few who initially squawked and complained online before even meeting me, were the ones I ruled out because of their complaints...I didn't want an insecure man or another mentally ill one like the first who was controlling and such.
Hi, I AM A COMPLETE MESS, I don't know how to explain it, I'm 12, and, ok, I can't believe I'm actually going to write this, but... So, about a month ago I started noticing a zit in my, face, I tried to ignore it but I just can't, and then about 2 weeks ago, 3 more zits started appearing in my face, and now I have like 6 zits. I have 3 in my forehead, 2 in my right cheek, and 1 in my left. I'm worried more will start appearing. I know you're probably thinking it's natural, but, you don't get it, I used to have a flawless face, like a barbie face, and I'm not exaggerating, not just like a normal little kid's face, it was PERFECT. And that's not all... Ugh, so, here comes the part I couldn't believe I'm actually writing... Sooo... I'll just write this quickly and get this over with... ithinkimightbegettingmyperiodsoonbecauseisearchedonlineandihaveasymptomthatiamgettingmyperiodsoon. ok. I always knew that day would come but I never thought about it. And I still don't want to. There are sooooo many things, but that would take me lots of books to write about, so lets just say that the main question is... ugh, i don't like that word so I'll just write it quickly... howdoidealwithpuberty?? Oh, and, obviously, I'm female.
I have 3 daughters and all had flawless skin until puberty hit. They didn't even like their picture being taken cus they thought it looked so bad so we used photo shop to erase them. Wish it was that easy in real life. They are all now in their mid to late twenties and their faces have cleared back up. When I was a teen though, I did not get zits. However I do get a few occasionally as an adult if I eat too much of certain foods. If it was hereditary, I would think the girls would have had no problems with zits. I tend to think that the fact I now later in life get some at times has to be more due to something in our environment and in our foods that contribute to people getting zits. But it is of course worse with puberty and yes, your period is probably about to start. I am sure as hard as it is for you to write on the subject to strangers, that it would be even worse for you to ask your own Mom questions. If you ever have a real medical issue related to puberty, then you might ask Mom if she had similar or same issues as a teen. But for most all your questions on your sexuality, sex and dating, there is a great you tube channel geared for that. Its called sex + and created by Laci Green who is about 26 right now and started researching as a teen herself cus she couldn't or wouldn't dream of asking her parents. But what she shared is true, very informative and she has done the legwork of researching and talking to experts to share very important info. I know this won't help with your face, you need to see a dermatologist to learn whats the best way to treat your face at this age, and it may not go away totally until you get older but you want to learn to eliminate scarring or allergic reactions and such.
I am not sharing this link for Laci's you tube spot to promote having sex at this age but there is much helpful things to learn on periods, and products for that, what cleaning if any is necessary, and topics on the hymen, gender id, dating and so on. This saves you having to do all the research yourself and as someone elder, I find it informative and have actually learned something about some of the newer period products on the market now, even tho I no longer use em. Heres the link for you to watch and learn. Each video is short, and very entertaining as she is funny but you still learn.
https://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen