about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.


I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.


Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.


Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.


I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.






advice

I'm 15 F

I started going out with a guy from school on Friday. I like him, a lot.
I'm really nervous around him.
I wanna hold his hand and kiss him
but I get so shaky, and I'm so afraid of messing up.
I don't wanna be moving too quickly
and lose him but yeah lol

Thanks in advance.

In this day and age where kids younger than you are having sex before they are even a couple doesn't seem to be considered moving too fast, I think you are completely in the clear of any fears of spooking him off.

Make your move.

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Yeah, I'm only in 7th grade and my grades are already slipping. Last quarter I got straight A's.. Now that it's the end of the school year I've been slacking on my work and the teachers are piling it on us since they don't have much time to get it done. I'm getting my midterms Friday and I already know I have 2 D's... I've never received any grade lower than a B so I'm really disappointed. There's only 20 days left of school and I need to improve and work my but off. But lately,I've been procrastinating when I never used to.. How can I keep up with all my work and get my D's up to at least B's?

Thank you so much =)

The answer lies in this one question: Why did you start to procrastinate in the first place? If you can answer that question, you can solve your problem.

I don't know with only 20 days left that you can bring your grades all the way back up, but you should really dig in and do your best to try to accomplish that feat. Nothing is impossible.

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19/F/Canada

My boyfriend (20) and I are both students, living together and supporting ourselves financially through school. We're considering purchasing a car together at some point this next year, because I'll need it for my co-op term next summer, but we have some questions.

1) We need something inexpensive, but decent-sized (my boyfriend is 6'3, 260 lbs) and reliable. Which models should we be looking at? Years?

2) Should we buy from an independent seller or from a dealership?

3) What kind of insurance package should we be looking at, considering we're on a limited budget?

Thank you for your help!

I can't answer all of your questions, because I live in the U.S., but I will give it a shot.

I can tell you that you may want to look into a bigger car. For example, a Lincoln or SUV. My husband is 6'6" and about 280 lbs, and smaller cars just don't work well for him.
Make sure whatever car you decide on, that he gets in and takes it for a drive to ensure that it will be suitable for his size.

Remember if you buy from a dealership, that the car salesman is there to SELL. He will make it sound like the sweetest ride on the lot, but it may in fact be a pile of junk. Had that happen not too long ago, myself.
There is nothing wrong with buying from either a dealer or independent seller.

Be sure to check the fluids before buying- Transmission fluid should be red, anti-freeze in the radiator should be lime green, and the oil should NEVER be black- it should be a golden color.
The fluids should not have chunks, clumps, shiney metal flecks, or anything of the sort floating around in there. That is a BIG red flag that something is wrong with the engine.
Don't feel foolish or embarrassed to pull the dipsticks or open the radiator cap to check. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO ASK WHERE THEY ARE. There is no shame in protecting yourself in such an investment.

I don't know what kind of insurance you have to keep in Canada, but I know that here my husband and I use 'liability only' insurance, because it is more cost efficient. That ensures the expenses are paid via insurance if an accident is our fault. If the accident is the other guy's fault, his insurance is responsible.

Hope this was some sort of help to you. :)

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is it bad to roast marshmallows over a scented candle? i know its a fire hazard, but are the chemicals from the candle bad?

I don't know for fact if the chemicals are bad, but I would assume they are.
Scented candles not only have the perfume in the candle wax, but it is also absorbed into the wick, which may cause the perfume to absorb into your marshmallow.
I would strongly advise against it.
I love roasted marshmallows too, but it isn't worth the risk of getting sick.

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Well it was a week before my period and me and my husband had unprotected sex. Well he stopped because I was bleeding really bad for some reason. I assumed it was my period starting early but the bleeding stopped the next day and I had pink-ish and brown-ish discharge for 2 days and then it stopped altogether. What happened? Was that my period? I don't think it was... So what could it be?

This is really something you should consult your doctor about. Especially if you think there is a possibility that it was a miscarriage.

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the people that live next door to me have a young duaghter that always plays with my cat. they try to bring my cat, shadow, inside their house all the time, and they say how much they love her and want her. they just recently put their house up for sale, and are moving. i have a bad feeling that they are going to take shadow when they move, and she is my baby, so i would be completely lost if they did. how can i prvent this from happening? i cant keep her inside, because she loves being outside, and theres no way to keep her out of their yard. i dont know what i would do if they took her!

please help! any ideas would be more than appreciated!

Maybe you should consider putting your cat indoors on the day they plan to move out. I know she doesn't like to be indoors, but better to make her suffer one day in the house than to have her suffer for a lifetime away from you, and vise versa.

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i have this friend and all she does is copy me. like i'll make up words and quotes and hang out with certain people and she's always a step behind me. my friend and i who are also friends with her wanted to go to this concert and now she's suddenly obsessed with it! i can't stand her most of the time and telling her how i feel won't work cause she's one of those 'i can't do anything wrong & it's all about me people' even if she doesn't realize it. ALSO i've liked this boy for awwhile and i was thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend for him, and she started going out with him a week later when she KNEW i liked him and she didn't like him, which i know because i asked her. ANYONE GOOD ADVICE PLEASEEEEEE!

If you can't stand her why do you keep her as a friend? Friends are supposed to be people whose presence you enjoy...

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My best friend was raped about 2 months back, she didnt tell me about it,i found out from my other best friend. i was hurt that she didnt want to tell me but just got on with it cos she was obvisouly going thruogh a hard time. anyway another of my friends told me best friend that i knew, there was a big argument and no its all out in the open. its better but i feel really awkuard in front of my best mate and dont no what i can say or cant. has anyone got any advie, i wud really appreciate it.

Realistically, she probably feels humiliated and possibly even has feelings of guilt (probably why she didn't tell you- her best friend). Because not only does rape have physical effects, but it has psychological effects that keep hurting after the physical pain is long gone.
Not only was her body invaded, but her mind was, too.
Rape causes mental and emotional trauma.

Here is a list of possible psychological effects of rape I found on the link following:

"Psychological effects on the victim may include:

severe anxiety
depression
difficulty concentrating or sleeping
dreaming about what happened
inappropriate guilt feelings
emotional numbness or irritability
flashbacks
nightmares
extreme fear."
http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/wha/wha_rape_crs.htm

Don't feel awkward around her. That may only make her feel worse to notice that. Be her best friend, as you are, and act towards her as you did before. You don't want her to feel that things have changed between you because of this; it could possibly add to any feelings of guilt.

Be supportive and let her know you have a shoulder she can lean on without actually rehashing the subject.
You can say to her, "You are my best friend, and I'm always here to lend an ear if you want to get anything off of your chest. I am open to listen to you about any subject without being harsh or judgemental." That's beating around the bush, but she will catch your drift.
When she feels comfortable enough to open up about it, constantly remind her that it was not her fault.
When she opens up to you about it, here are a couple of things for you to suggest- but I wouldn't advise pushing her about them:

Tell her to consider seeking rape counseling. She may feel more comfortable talking it all out with a stranger who knows how to teach her to cope and, by law, has to keep it confidential.

If she hasn't gone to the police, you should suggest she considers doing so. Rape is a crime, and the guy should be prosecuted like the criminal he is.
Other than that, take her out to have fun. Help her keep her mind off of it until she is ready to talk about it.
I hope this helps you out, and my thoughts are with your friend.

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13/f

ok hey, I have this really annoying cousin that thinks she's WAY better than everyone else. especially me.

ex: ok, like, whenever i get a bf and bring him over to the house to meet my mom or whatever, she'll constantly flirt with him and try to get him alone and certain stuff like that, just to boost her ego and pretty much show me that she can get any guy i can.

another ex: ok, so...we both sing, which is REALLY bad 'cause she always gets pissed if anyone says i sing better. like one day, me and her were sitting on my bed talking and her mom comes in and says "hey can you sing me a song" so of course, she leaps for the chance and starts singing and as soon as she does, her mom was like, "no marisa, i was talking to Nikki. maybe you can sing backup" and almost instantly (she needed a few seconds to let the shock blow over) she says " THERE IS NO WAY IM SINGING BACKUP FOR ANYONE!!!! ESPECIALLY NOT HER!!!!"

and she's always bragging about herself in some way like " omigod!!! Im like, sooo gonna start my own band and get all these super hott emo guys to be in it and of course, IM gonna be the lead singer!!! hahaha!!!" and then she calls herself fat just to hear people say shes skinny. and frankly, im just getting absolutely sick of it!!! Is there ANY way possible i can prove that she's normal, just like everyone else??? she's really getting on my nerves!!

sincerely,
Nikki

Best way to prove she is normal? Have patience.

The real world will knock her off her high horse once she enters it. The adult world can be very cold and cruel, leaving the Average Joe to accept the fact that they are merely average like 99.4% of the people inhabiting the planet.

Besides, she has it in her head she is above you, so she will disregard any "proof" you come up with.

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I was looking through a phobia list/dictionary. There were two that weren't on there that I was wondering about.

What is the fear of depending on / needing someone called?

The fear of never finding love / ending up alone?

I could only find two of the phobias. I found them on Answers.com and provided the link to each.

soteriophobia
Fear of dependence on others.
http://www.answers.com/Soteriophobia?gwp=11&ver=2.1.1.521&method=3

Autophobia is a phobia (persistent and irrational fear) of being alone. The word is derived from the Greek words autos ("self") and phobos ("fear").

Many people who fear being alone fear being unloved, unwanted, or unrecognized. This fear often leads sufferers to enter into and remain in destructive social relationships. It can also lead them to engage in codependency and self-destructive behavior.[1]

http://www.answers.com/Autophobia?gwp=11&ver=2.1.1.521&method=3

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14/f. so there is this guy i like and he says that he doesnt know if he likes me or not but from what he says it sounds like he does. do you think he is scared to get into a relationship or scared to get hurt? im so confused.

I wish I could tell you what he is thinking, but I can't.
If he says he doesn't know if he likes you or not, maybe he doesn't know if he doesn't like you in a girlfriend/boyfriend fashion?
I really can't say, because like I said, I don't know what is going on in his head.
Have him alleviate your confusion by asking what he means by that statement.

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Hello...

I have a teen daugter she is 13 and she goes to the mall all the time which I don't mind.But she always brings home clothes and says their her friends or something like that and I found 1 price tag in her room...she has a history of shoplifting but do you think shes at it again ?

Signed,
Questioned

Sounds pretty fishy to me.

Has she ever been arrested for shoplifting in her history? If not, it would likely be a valuable lesson in what's right, what's wrong, and how embarrassing it is to be hauled off in handcuffs for all of her friends, and the public, to see. She needs to learn that shoplifting isn't a simple breaking of the rules- it is a crime.

An option would be, next time she goes to the mall, call and alert security to keep their eyes open to her. It may seem like you'd be playing dirty pool, but it is for he own good.

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I`m only 13 and my parents treat me like I`m 18 and they won't buy me ANYTHING! They make me pay for my clothes, my food when I go out to eat, staying at hotels for a family vacation, and basically everything. They won't even buy me a pack of gum! I'm only 13 and I can't really have a well-paying job and I already walk dogs but that can't pay for everything.. I can't even shop anymore because I don't have enough money for more then 2 shirts and as soon as I buy 2 shirts I have to save up for another 3 months until I have any money again.

It really annoys me because my friends always brag about how their mom took them to the mall and bought them 9 bags of clothes and they didn't have to pay. My parents haven't bought me any clothes since I was 11. My mom never takes me to the mall because she says "I don't like to drive and it's too far away." Yeah, the mall is literally 10 minutes away. I still have all winter clothes to survive in this summer because I have NO money to buy anything and my birthday has already passed.

Don't you think it's harsh to make a 13 year old pay for EVERYTHING including like gum and stuff?! The most I can do is walk dogs and it's not like they are punishing me for being a bad kid because I get straight A's and I'm never in trouble so it's not a punishment.. I think they are so harsh because clothes are a necessity and all of my friends sit on their butts and get everything handed to them and I`m trying to pay for everything and it's not going to work out.. I've already tried telling them that it's impossible to pay for my own wardrobe and food and stuff when my only way of getting money is walking dogs because my parents don't pay me for helping out around the house and stuff.. so how can I get them to lighten up and at least pay for SOME of my clothes and other stuff? because it would be helpful if they pitched in a little bit.

P.S if you think I should start babysitting to make money how do I bring this up with my parents?? and I ONLY want to babysit for my neighbors so should I tell them straight out I want to babysit or should my mom tell them?

Tina_Duh is exactly right.

Just think, when you ARE 18 and on your own, you will know responsibility. You will know what you need to depend on yourself, and just what you need to do to get it. You can be a self-reliant addition to society. That is something you should take GREAT pride in.
Congratulations for learning and practicing such maturity at your age.

Think about it- Doesn't it feel good to earn your own money and pay for your own things?
I know it seems harsh, but it is a good thing. I promise, you will see that someday when you are leading a happy, self-sufficient life you are proud of.

Those who get things bought for them for simply sitting there and looking cute can't take pride in what they own. They did nothing for it. They didn't sweat. They didn't get tired and work hard to get what they wanted. They just sat there. Looking cute. How hard is that?

I'm almost 30 years old, and my best friend from highschool didn't have to work for anything. She is single, and 32 yrs with 4 kids, and still expects mommy and daddy to powdah her wittow boddum while she sits on it doing nothing to better her children's lives or her own.
Just a living example for you.

Sadly, your friends will likely be dependent on others for the rest of their lives in some form, expecting everything to be handed to them, and think they are entitled to have a silver spoon provided for them to stuff in their mouths. They will likely think they are owed a living.
Sad, but bluntly true. Come on back here ten years from now and tell me I'm wrong. :)

P.S. Realistically, you don't get paid for working around the house when you are an adult, either.

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I am experiencing mild cramping in my lower back and abdomen, headaches, fatigue, stuffy nose (something terrible with no signs of cold/flu to accompany it), a larger than usual appetite, and sore breasts.

My cycles usually run between 28 to 31 days. The past 2 months they have been 30 days exactly. I am 2 days from testing right now but the not knowing is just killing me.

I have never been on birth control. My husband and I had unprotected sex on the 8th - 14th of April, each night. The 18th and again on the 22 - 23 of April, each night.

The first day of my last period was April 1, the last day, April 7.

Is there a possibility that I could be pregnant?

Absolutely it's possible.

I'm 29/f with a 2 month old baby.

Now, fatigue and sore breasts are early symptoms.
My early change in eating habits was lack of appetite, but symptoms can vary from woman to woman.
Another early breast symptom is tender nipples, darkening nipples, and they tend to get a little bit bigger in circumference.
Also, your breasts get bigger. I had to buy larger cup sized bras to wear during pregnancy.
Your breasts will get even bigger once baby comes due to being engorged with milk.
Irritability is an early symptom, as well. I was pretty crabby during the first two or three months.

Abdominal pain and/or cramps are generally warning signs for a pregnant woman. If you are pregnant, you want to call your doctor about that to be on the safe side.

I experienced headaches occasionally after about 6 weeks. I had them occasionally during my 3rd trimester because I had elevated blood pressure.
Nasal congestion is a later symptom, as well. I experienced that in my 3rd trimester.

They go by the first day of your last period in order to decide your due date if you are pregnant, so you would go by April 1. As of 4/29, you are 29 days from your last period. You still have a chance of getting your period, yet.

I assume you are an adult since you are married? Wait for your period until Sunday, May 6th- one week from today. If no period, get tested.
(Teens should wait 2 weeks for an accurate result, due to they generally don't have regulated cycles.)

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i hang out with the "popular" group at school because im really good friends with them and i also have this friend who's not as popular but i still love her. i've heard alot of people saying that shes trying not to be best friends with me anymore just plain friends, because she thinks im always hanging out with my other friends. im friends with my other friends just as much as she ..like i love all of them but i really dont want to lose her as a best friend. what should i do?

16/f by the way.

As everyone has said, you need to talk to her rather than go by what others say.

Keep in mind one question: Have you been neglecting to hang out with her in order to give your attention to your popular friends? She may feel left in the dust.
Spend quality time with her, and maybe invite her to join in on activities you do with your other friends to insure she doesn't feel left out.

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Hiii, I've been going out with my current boyfriend for about 3 months, and he's a year older then me, and is a Freshman, so we don't go to the same school. so, i only see him once a week. lately, things have felt weird between us, and i don't really like to talk on the phone to him, and i really like him a lot still, i just know i do. but, i like this one boy thats in my grade. and we flirt a LOT. i feel like i'm hurting my boyfriend, even though NO ONE knows, but me. i don't wanna break up with my boyfriend, but i don't wanna hurt anyone. i don't know what to doo. help?

If you don't want to hurt your boyfriend, then stop flirting with other guys, weather you are the only one who knows about it or not. If he were to find out, not only would he be hurt, but he'd likely kick you to the curb.

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I just bought Avril's new CD. I realized it was edited. Some words were clearly noticeable, but one I just noticed now -- For example, in Everything Back But You, she says "Hey hey psycho babe" when I found out she REALLY says, in the unedited version, "Bitch, slut, psycho babe" Whats up with this?! I searched EVERYWHERE for a part on the CD saying this CD was a clean version! Honestly I hate it. When they just block out words, you can clearly tell. It bugs me. Its too late to return the CD, but is it supposed to be like this, and why? Even the little book inside, with the lyrics inside are edited!

You know it isn't the unedited version if it has that little black and white label on it that says "Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics."

The edited version isn't going to say that it's edited. It depends on where you buy from. Walmart, for example, doesn't sell explicit lyrics CD's as a rule.

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My boyfriend always wants to talk to me but he never calls me he just likes to text and talk on AIM. At first I just thought he was scared but he always does it, and I've nagged him before and I call him but he never answers I don't want to keep nagging, but I don't like wasting my texts when I could just be on the phone!

I'm sorry. That's a load of crap.

Uh... Does he talk to you in person? Yes? Then there is no reason he can't talk to you on the phone, now is there?

Text and IM is so impersonal. You can't show emotion or feeling in what you say. You're holding a conversation with words on a screen, for crying out loud.

Gee... I remember a world without cell phones and internet. I remember when there was no such thing as text and AIM and IM.
You know how people held conversations? With their mouths. In person, or over the phone. So, I'm sorry, there is no excuse for him not wanting to speak to you on the phone. None.

If I were you, I would tell him if he wants to talk to you so bad, he better answer the phone when you call before you find yourself another guy who has the courtesy to do so.

And if he still doesn't answer your calls, find someone who will.

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A LOT of people at my school talk about how they always steal from hollister & abercrombie, all the time. they say they never get caught, i really don't think that it's a good idea, but i'm just wondering what are the chances of getting caught stealing at abercrombie or hollister, if you bring the clothes into the dressing room and rip off the tags and stuff them in your purse or whatever. thank you.

I hope you aren't planning to risk an arrest record like your peers. If caught, you leave in handcuffs and get hauled off in the backseat of a police vehicle. Shop lifting is a crime.

I live in Kansas, and if you rob $500+ here, it is a felony crime. And the store you are talking about is high dollar...
Besides, why rob clothes from a store? You wouldn't want someone to come rob clothes from you. Correct?

Somebody still pays for the items stolen- these somebodies are called the PAYING CUSTOMER. The company will raise prices to cover the profit lost.
Yah. They end up punishing the HONEST.

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Is YG alright? She hasnt been on for 2 days! Im worried=[

She's fine, and she has been on.
I just asked her what she's been up to, she says she has been approving questions and tending to abuse reports. :)

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