|
hmmm.
I`m only 13 and my parents treat me like I`m 18 and they won't buy me ANYTHING! They make me pay for my clothes, my food when I go out to eat, staying at hotels for a family vacation, and basically everything. They won't even buy me a pack of gum! I'm only 13 and I can't really have a well-paying job and I already walk dogs but that can't pay for everything.. I can't even shop anymore because I don't have enough money for more then 2 shirts and as soon as I buy 2 shirts I have to save up for another 3 months until I have any money again.
It really annoys me because my friends always brag about how their mom took them to the mall and bought them 9 bags of clothes and they didn't have to pay. My parents haven't bought me any clothes since I was 11. My mom never takes me to the mall because she says "I don't like to drive and it's too far away." Yeah, the mall is literally 10 minutes away. I still have all winter clothes to survive in this summer because I have NO money to buy anything and my birthday has already passed.
Don't you think it's harsh to make a 13 year old pay for EVERYTHING including like gum and stuff?! The most I can do is walk dogs and it's not like they are punishing me for being a bad kid because I get straight A's and I'm never in trouble so it's not a punishment.. I think they are so harsh because clothes are a necessity and all of my friends sit on their butts and get everything handed to them and I`m trying to pay for everything and it's not going to work out.. I've already tried telling them that it's impossible to pay for my own wardrobe and food and stuff when my only way of getting money is walking dogs because my parents don't pay me for helping out around the house and stuff.. so how can I get them to lighten up and at least pay for SOME of my clothes and other stuff? because it would be helpful if they pitched in a little bit.
P.S if you think I should start babysitting to make money how do I bring this up with my parents?? and I ONLY want to babysit for my neighbors so should I tell them straight out I want to babysit or should my mom tell them?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Hi, my name is Ivan I am 13 years old I'm from Russia, and my father said to me, when you grow up you get out of the house, this is normal in the forest because my father is a bear . Do not worry about it. because you have the parents who love. I really do not want to leave the house, but that's part of an adult life. and walking the dog is all right. We are responsible for those we tamed! Good luck to you, and when you grow up, remember your memories! I agree with you sometimes too lazy to take out the garbage, to go to the store, to help my mother and father,to play with the cat, but it must be done because I need to do it.
]
Okay. first off this is ridiculous. I can see their point in making you pay for some stuff, but everything for a 13 year old. I sympathize for you, hun.
Second, do you have any relatives that are close to you and your family? If so, you should ask them to talk to your parents. IT might be a good idea and it might not. Be timid with that one. You should talk to your relative to find out what they would say. And if your parents are the stubborn type I wouldn't try this approach.
You could also try to talk to them by yourself in a well organized speech. First you should state the problem at hand, you can't pay for everything by yourself. Give your reason why you can't possibly pay for everything. Then support your answer. Do some research on how much the average 18 year old can make in a year. Talk to them about child labor laws which make it difficult for you to even get a job let alone work enough to afford everything. Your research should be well thought out and you should be able to answer any questions they might have about it. Find some sort of amazing statistic that will get them way interested. Then lastly, say something like this, "The reason it is immpossible for me to pay for everythign is the simple fact that 13 year olds are not alowed to work over __ hours in one week." Don't use that exact one because it sucks but it's just an example. Make sure to use complete sentences in all your statements. I know that sound freakin ridiculous but trust me if you have this well thought out they will consider it more. NExt this one is the one that got me a cell phone. Come up with as many reasons as you possibly can find that you shouldn't have to pay for everythign. Type them up and give one list to each parent. Be very persuasive. DON'T use the exuse "all my friends don't have to pay for everythig." parents hate that. make sure they know that you will keep your jobs you can and pay for some stuff. hope this works. GOOD LUCK!!! let me know how it goes.
]
That is tough. I'm 15 and I know I wouldn't be able to pay for absolutely everything of mine by yourself. Sit your parents down and ask them why you're so harsh. Tell them that you're a good kid and you get straight A's. Let them know that you know that they're just trying to prepare you for the real world and teaching you responsibility, but it's tough to get money to pay for all of your own things. Since you help out around the house, ask if you can get a weekly allowance. Tell that that you'll be easier to buy things. Ask them if they can lighen up a little bit, like buy you some new summer clothes because you've outgrown all of your old ones and your winter clothes aren't going to last that much longer and if they can buy small things for you like gum and such.
]
Hey sweetie. It is absolutely rediculous for a 13 year old to pay for everything herself. I am 13 as well and I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to do it so before I answer your question, let me just say kuddos to you, your a smart kid and you are going to be just fine. I would sit your mom and dad down and explain to them that you don't mind paying for some of the things that you want and don't necessarily need but that between school and your age, there really is no possible way for you to support yourself. And I hate to say it honey but if they don't listen to you, I would tell someone at school or another trusted adult whats going on. Maybe they could explain to your parents that part of the responsibility of having a child, is supporting them. Tell them you parents or at least your dad have good paying jobs and you are really not in bad shape money wise. If that doesn't work, Iw ould just put off buying clothes or food until your parents have no choice but to pay for you. As for the babysitting, let your neighbors know your available, dont have your mom do it, and maybe make up some flyers or put an add in the paper. Good luck, let me know if you need anything else. ♥ fabulouss
]
parents only do that because they want you to get ready for college. Your parents are acting a bit harsh but you should start baby sitting and you should tell your parents straight out.
]
ok wow, will first of all yes that is wayyy 2 harsh. but i think they just want you 2 be prepared for when you get older. but what i think you should do is ask your parents if there parents made them do that and if they did ask them if they liked it. tell them whats on your mind and if they still make you buy your stuff then tell them that you want to babysit they should let you since they think you old enough to buy your own stuff.
will hope i helped
TAYLOR
]
My parents were like that when i was 13... i learned a lot really fast. when you shop, go straight for the sales. go to thrift stores, trade clothes, reuse stuff you had a while back.. go cheap on everything. flip flops are 2 for $5 at old navy, shirts are $6.95 on the sale rack at american eagle, there are $7 purses at H&M, theres $1 jewelry at hot topic (they have a big sale going on right now) and sales at hollister have shirts for $13. try ross, tjmax and other places like that. if they make you pay for school lunches, pack everyday. hotels for family vacations... that's extreme.. stay in their room on a couch or stay at a friend's house while they're out. family dinners... get something from the kids menu (i'm serious... it's like $5 and they can't say oh you're not 12 and under..). it's less food but you can eat when you get home. i know it sucks a lot but it teaches you a lot. i'm so good with money now... my younger bro never had to pay for anything and he has noo idea how to manage his money. if you need anything else, lemme know. <3
]
well im kind of going through the same thig as you, but less harsh. I have to buy most of my clothes and stuff. i definitely think you should first try talking to them again, and then i would cry to them by saying "im too young to support myself in my life. im not eighteen i need your help to live right now!" and then i would threaten to call social services. but you probably wont do that so just talk to them is really all you can do. and you have to pay for your hotel room???!!! thats CRAZY. i would refuse to go on vacation and refuse to go out to dinner and deny them time with me until they pitched in.
omg im soooo sorry about what you're going through.
best of luckk
]
Tina_Duh is exactly right.
Just think, when you ARE 18 and on your own, you will know responsibility. You will know what you need to depend on yourself, and just what you need to do to get it. You can be a self-reliant addition to society. That is something you should take GREAT pride in.
Congratulations for learning and practicing such maturity at your age.
Think about it- Doesn't it feel good to earn your own money and pay for your own things?
I know it seems harsh, but it is a good thing. I promise, you will see that someday when you are leading a happy, self-sufficient life you are proud of.
Those who get things bought for them for simply sitting there and looking cute can't take pride in what they own. They did nothing for it. They didn't sweat. They didn't get tired and work hard to get what they wanted. They just sat there. Looking cute. How hard is that?
I'm almost 30 years old, and my best friend from highschool didn't have to work for anything. She is single, and 32 yrs with 4 kids, and still expects mommy and daddy to powdah her wittow boddum while she sits on it doing nothing to better her children's lives or her own.
Just a living example for you.
Sadly, your friends will likely be dependent on others for the rest of their lives in some form, expecting everything to be handed to them, and think they are entitled to have a silver spoon provided for them to stuff in their mouths. They will likely think they are owed a living.
Sad, but bluntly true. Come on back here ten years from now and tell me I'm wrong. :)
P.S. Realistically, you don't get paid for working around the house when you are an adult, either.
]
Although this may be a harsh thing to do to just a 13 year old, I think it is a valuable lesson. Not only are you learning responsibility, but you're also learning to earn your things such as your money, and everything else.
And you can do something your friends can't. Your friends can run to mommy & daddy when they want new things, but you have the power to earn it. They get things handed to them, so they never really learn what it's like to be responsibile & earn their stuff.
If you would like to babysit as something aside from dog walking, then go for it. Don't charge too much though or people won't want you to do the job. Also, in order for your parents to lighten up, present the idea to them.
If you just sit there & yell & scream about how they never do anything for you, then nothing is going to change. Don't cop an attitude, stay calm, stay strong & stay easy going. Present strong ideas to them, and they should go along with it.
]
Even though what your parents are doing is a good thing, they are going really overboard with it. They're trying to teach you that in real life you can't just go out and buy 9 bags of clothes. When you become an adult everything isn't just handed to you. You should just buy what you need and nothing more. It's a good life lesson and your friends will learn it the hard way. When they're out on their own they will still have their spending habits, won't know how to budget money, and will have a really hard time when they realize that all their money is gone and they can't pay for what they actually need. Have you even thought that maybe your parents don't have a lot of money themselves? Maybe they can't really afford to spoil you like your friends parents do. Unless you know exactly how much money they have, you really can't know whether they can afford it or not. A lot of people appear to be wealthy when in reality they are really struggling to make ends meet. Like I said before though, they are going overboard with it. I agree with everything you said. You are only 13 years old and they shouldn't be doing this to you to this level until you are 16. My advice for you is to talk to them about doing jobs for them around the house. For example, if you mow the lawn, take care of all the dishes, dust, vacuum, clean the bathroom, do the laundry, etc., they will either give you money for these chores or buy you a few things. I would also suggest that you ask them about the family's financial situation. At least then, if they were having a hard time you'd know why they were treating you like crap. It would be a little easier to take if there was a valid reason for it. I know it's tough now, but if you can't get them to budge, just know that in the future you will really be thankful that they did this to you. Good luck. <3
]
UHM. you DEFINITLY need to have a talk with your mom. that is RIDICOLOUS. that is sooo harsh. you are 13 years old. the most work you should be doing, is concentrating on your school work, and being a kid. it doesn't last forever. that is like wrong there making you do that. and i bet there is some like law against that. like when you mean food..
do you mean like food, like grocery food? its your parents responsiblity to take of you. until your 18. then they can tell you to go get a job and stuff. but intill then, there responsible for you. i mean, i can see if they didn't want to buy you like a million clothes because it was too much. but atleast some.
oh no no no. your done with working. you tell your mom, that your only 13 once, and that is tottaly not fair, that you have to pay for everything. that your only a kid, and that when they had you, they had to make a commitment, to be responsible for you, and raise you. and they can't HONESTLY expcect you to pay for all that stuff.
i think i may be a little bit more about the whole thing then you are, lol. but seriously, thats so wrong. your only a kid once. 13 was a great year for me. you should get to enjoy it.
tell your mom that your not asking for the most expenisve clothing, you just want clothing. its not fair. like, if my mom ever did that to me, i'd like be so mad.
i hope things get a whole lot better for youu.
]
More Questions: |