If you give head to a guy at a party while your boyfriend is not there does that mean you cheated on your boyfriend? Yeah, the guy was really hot but it's not like we had sex or anything. I didn't even let him finger me! My boyfriend is really pissed and won't talk to me now but I really can't see his reasoning or point of view. I've done this a few times before but I haven't told him about it and regret telling him this time. Do you think giving a blow job is REALLY cheating? I mean, come on...it's like...kissing...sort of...I don't see a problem.
jada_lynne answered Saturday September 11 2010, 1:59 pm: I hate to tell you this but oral sex is cheating. Were you raised by wolves? Seriously... you're just going around giving random blow jobs to random guys and you don't know why in the world your boyfriend is upset?
Come on now...sell that one to someone who's buying it, because I'm not!
There is a reason why you're behaving this way and the best thing you can do is try to find out what it is.
Any self-respecting female doesn't do that so I'm going to speculate here that you start there. What is it that you don't like about yourself? What are you trying to prove here?
Here's a tip for you... cheating doesn't even have to involve ANY physical contact. There is such a thing as emotional cheating.
I will advise you to work on your own self esteem. I think that is what is lacking here. Start with that, and then consider working on setting good boundaries.
If your boyfriend has any sense at all he'll step out of this relationship.
You don't need to be in a relationship with anyone until you can get to the bottom of your behavior.
xxemilyfeil answered Thursday September 9 2010, 11:38 am: Yes, it is absolutely cheating. You should not go around sucking another guys dick if you have a boyfriend. If he considers kissing cheating, then sucking some guys dick is by far cheating too. I don't blame him for being pissed at you. It's oral sex. Anything sex related with a person that you aren't dating or married too, is considered cheating. Your boyfriend has complete right to be mad and not talk to you. What you did was wrong, and you need to accept that. So what if the guy was hott? Use your judgement and say no. [ xxemilyfeil's advice column | Ask xxemilyfeil A Question ]
maxgrey answered Wednesday September 8 2010, 7:16 pm: Oral sex is still sex.
Doing anything sexual with someone that is not your boyfriend or girlfriend is considered cheating, unless it was agreed upon beforehand that you and your partner would have an open relationship. [ maxgrey's advice column | Ask maxgrey A Question ]
InSuL1nImP answered Monday September 6 2010, 12:14 am: **********OMG QUESTION OF THE YEAR RIGHT HERE**********
rainbowcherrie answered Thursday September 2 2010, 11:19 am: If your boyfriend performed oral sex on someone else, would you be upset?
If your answer is yes, then why on Earth should it be any different when the roles are reversed?
If no, then you need to find a boyfriend who doesn't mind an open relationship.
Either way, your boyfriend has every right to be upset. Of course this is cheating! Personally, I consider cheating to be anything I wouldn't do if my boyfriend was there to see it. That could be anything from flirting to full sex. I think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who wouldn't consider oral sex cheating. [ rainbowcherrie's advice column | Ask rainbowcherrie A Question ]
christina answered Thursday September 2 2010, 5:51 am: I would definitely consider a blowjob cheating. If my boyfriend went down on another girl while he was at a party, I'd kick her ass and then I'd tell him to go fuck himself.
thelaura answered Wednesday September 1 2010, 1:42 pm: Yes, it's cheating. You shouldn't be in a relationship right now if this is how you feel.
There's no point in stringing your boyfriend along while you're going out and getting intimate with others - you keep that for boyfriends only. [ thelaura's advice column | Ask thelaura A Question ]
GoldenxArcher answered Tuesday August 31 2010, 10:33 am: If this is honestly how you feel, and not just you making excuses after the fact, then I suggest you find a new boyfriend. The one you're with isn't right for you. You'll need to find someone who you can agree from day one that fellatio (Oral sex) is fine to do with other people as long as that is where it stops.
There is no such thing as a line between cheating and not cheating. If your boyfriend is fine with it, it is not cheating. What IS cheating is thatyou are doing this sort of thing behind his back. You NEED to tell him about these sorts of things and just hope he's ok with it (And also accept that he has a right to do it this with other girls as well. If you don't mind the image of your boyfriend getting oral or giving oral to another girl then it is fine.)
sml111992 answered Monday August 30 2010, 10:28 pm: to you this may not be cheating but to many other people it is being sexually active with people is cheating kissing blowjobs anything you do with another guy thats not your boyfriend is cheating flirting is emotionally cheating kissing holding hands sex of all sorts is cheating. just imagine your boyfriend getting head from some girl how would you feel? thats gross and wrong you and your boyfriend should end your relationship because lying and cheating on him and not thinking its wrong is just not right. [ sml111992's advice column | Ask sml111992 A Question ]
WittyUsernameHere answered Monday August 30 2010, 10:09 pm: There are very, very few people in the world who would not consider oral sex cheating.
You can cheat emotionally without ever touching someone. Blowjobs are intimate, there are plenty of women who will more quickly have sex than give oral because of the intimacy and trust implied by the act.
Giving out free oral to a hot guy shows a lack of self control and loyalty, as well as a lack of respect for your boyfriend and the relationship you share.
Cheating isn't what you think it is, cheating is what your partner thinks it is, and what you agree on. Since there's no agreement he is firmly in the right and you're entirely in the wrong.
He has every right to not want to risk getting herpes or something similar because you went to a party and blew someone.
It's nothing like kissing, relationships are not built on lies and "I think it's ok but he doesn't so I won't tell him" and if/when he finds out that you've not told him all you did I'd not be surprised if he never spoke to you again. Then again, from what you've said it may have already reached that point.
Worse, your complete lack of realization that you crossed a ton of lines and betrayed his trust is going to drive him more insane.
You regret telling him, not doing it. I hope you actually expressed that to him, so he can leave you and you can hopefully learn a lesson that cheating is not something you get to define for yourself and keep a relationship even when you do things your partner is not willing to accept.
Razhie answered Monday August 30 2010, 9:47 pm: It's very nice that you don't feel a blow job is cheating. You better find a boyfriend who agrees with you 'cause 99.9% of monogamous people will consider a blow job cheating. Most of them will even consider kissing, cheating.
If you were afraid to tell your boyfriend about it, and he got angry, then he is probably one of that 99.9%. You probably aren't going to talk him out that - especially not when you make a habit of it.
Be single until you either meet someone who shares your definition of cheating, or until you stop going down on random guys at parties.
KisaKiss19 answered Monday August 30 2010, 9:44 pm: In my eyes, anything as to kissing someone else or being involved with someone else mentally or physically is a certain form of cheating. However, to you, it might be different. You may view you're way of a relationship different than other people do. Generally though, you can't only think of what you yourself would consider cheating, because you have to take in account his views. In his eyes you've hurt him, which means he considers it cheating(which you already know). It kind of makes him think, "Wow, this chick really doesn't care about me,for her to go off with another guy." ; All is said and done now.But down the road, If you truly didn't intend to hurt him, you would make an effort to be with him and only him. If you didn't realize you valued him that much, recalculate your mistakes and try to get him back. In retrospect if you don't care about his feelings, then why bother? Do you really want a relationship? Many things to ask yourself! Hopefully it all works out a way best for both of you! Good luck,
SandyDandy answered Monday August 30 2010, 8:58 pm: Yes, it is considered cheating! Of course and a blowjob is ORAL SEX! Keyword is Sex. It's not technically called a blowjob people just call it like that so it won't seem like it is. But of course it is cheating and kissing is cheating too. Your boyfriend has a right to be mad he shouldn't be with you because cheating is not right. If you can't refrain yourself from kissing or going down on guys then you should be single. Obviously, you're boyfriend does not agree with an OPEN relationship. That's a relationship were ya'll call have certain limitations of what you do with other people. Maybe you should leave him and look for someone who is willing to have that kind of relationship, because for someone who is does not want that it is considered cheating and it is very hurtful! If you want him to let you go down on other then let him go down on girls and kiss them! If he doesn't want to then look for someone that does! [ SandyDandy's advice column | Ask SandyDandy A Question ]
natalie32 answered Monday August 30 2010, 8:55 pm: Okay from my point I see why your bf mad at you you sukkd some up and if you really like him you wuldnt do nothing behinde his bak because if it was me I wouldn't do thta because I don't believe in cheating I think its so wrong and how would you like it if your bf went to a party and ate a girl out you wouldn't like it so much you would be devasted and said he cheated on and he will be like no u did the same but on the reelz main thing n a relationship you have to have trust or there no point you no so yes I think what you. Did was cheatin [ natalie32's advice column | Ask natalie32 A Question ]
NinjaNeer answered Monday August 30 2010, 8:54 pm: It's like kissing, except you've got someone else's genitals in your mouth.
Yeah, it's cheating. There's a reason why they call it oral sex.
Why is your boyfriend angry? Well, when you're dating someone, you kind of expect them to not be putting their mouths on other people. By doing things with other people, you're putting him at risk for sexually transmitted infections, and I can imagine that it's also just kind of gross kissing your girlfriend knowing that she has recently had someone else's junk in her mouth.
Personally, when it comes to my relationship, I think that kissing is out of line, too. If you wouldn't do it to your grandmother, you shouldn't be doing it to people other than your boyfriend unless you have a specifically agreed upon open relationship.
I would suggest having a conversation with your boyfriend asking him exactly what his boundaries for you are. That way you know what you can and can't do while remaining in the relationship. If it's too restrictive for you, then you shouldn't be dating him right now. [ NinjaNeer's advice column | Ask NinjaNeer A Question ]
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