I smile,laugh,love,and live in the moment. I don't think lifes worth wasteing on a boring day. I am happy and with who I am. lifes about friends who hold on to you,the people who you love and return it. I don't believe in changing for anyone, i can say that everything happens for a reason and if its not a good ending,then its not over. I Love music, and interested in anything to do with style,makeup,and fashion. I also love heroes, south park, and family guy :]. I'm done with the fake people,i've basically dropped all who never cared. and i'm actually happy,i feel so much better ! I've been through it,the friends,family,and the whole finding yourself. And i think Marylous Coffee is bomb.I have the most amazing friends; and i'm so lucky to have those crazy bitches >:}.I'm obbsessed with Harry Potter
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Teza
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by saying there's such thing as "male" or "female" behavior? You "feel" like a boy because a company, trying to make a profit, designated toys as "for boys" or "for girls"? I don't understand what's wrong with interpreting sex as gender.
And no, I'm totally against abuse against LGBT people, and also find the suicides heartbreaking, but when I see Laverne Cox, I see a man, not a woman, and I think it's ridiculous to say it's "an act of violence" for me to have that belief, supported by science.
One can get a boob job, but that doesn't make them any more of a woman, just like getting a mastectomy doesn't make one less of a woman. One can get prosthetic privates, but their DNA still reveals their true gender/sex. Sexuality is different. As of now, and possibly forever, there's no evidence of a "homosexual" or "bisexual" gene. But sex/gender is identifiable.
Trans issues have really been public this year, in 2014, and I support people's happiness, but these contradictions have just been plaguing my mind... (link)
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It would benefit your understanding if you looked up literary criticisms on gender dichotomy. In a scientific sense, it is noted that a male will have a certain set of genes, and a female would undoubtably have another. However, mentally, the standpoint of what gender is, should be viewed as more of a "concept" , rather than a concrete, set of ideals presented to us from an omnipotent "social norm.". In truth, this movement that you are hearing of is straying from this set of ideals that the misinformed American deems to be "right." It is challenging this view, and creating a movement that shines light on a very important subject. It is important to ask yourself these questions "How did I discover what gender is?" Naturally, you might think that a girl has long hair with bows and wears pink, and play with dolls. However, even the most basic form of gender bending is when one disagrees with that statement, because we know not all little girls are like this. If you think about it, the term "tomboy" for a girl is really just a girl who is androgynous , one who doesn't fit the "typical" girl.
A greater question to ask is-
Why must our idea of gender be limited to these false truths?
Transgender people are doing more than just transcending this "box" that which society puts them in, they are creating questions that one can reflect on, on how our nation views identity, liberated from being "male" or "female".
It doesn't matter whether or not you "see" a man, or a woman. What matters is whether you accept them to be who they are, and to let them be freely. You don't have to completely understand their decisions, but if someone wants to be identified as a "she" , then let them do so with open arms. Wouldn't you want to be treated the same way? We're all only human after all.
People who spit an angry phrase such as "act of violence" towards you because you may not fully understand another individual's decisions, are not helping you or them in any way. The best thing you can do is educate yourself on this matter, which is why you have asked this question on here. Beliefs can be reflected on,and they are easily split open by other truths. The further you broaden your view, the more evidence you have to support your personal belief,regardless. Never narrow your beliefs, for this is where you end up in a box. It is always important to explore all sides and aspects of a subject, rather than to remain ignorant- especially if they are ones that make you ask "Why?"
Also as a side note; (I'm not sure if you know this but) not all Transgender people are homosexual, or bisexual. I know plenty of straight men who dress up in drag from time to time.
To refine some of your conclusions: Sex, is identifiable. Gender has more than one component, it gets complicated. Gender is a blend of one's sex, and one's mentality of that sex verses another, and how these questions ultimately create an individual's identity. It is instilled in one's brain to see these two things as the same, though they are quite different. Let this plague your mind no longer! Hopefully I helped some, or at least left you in a place where you can branch off into your own research, there is quite a lot! Thanks for the question!
-- Kristen
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First off, I apologize for the long question.
I am a thirteen-year-old girl, and everything is making me want to die. No, I guess I don't really want to die -- I just want the pain to end.
The main reason why I hate life is because I don't understand anything in school. And to make up for it, I work so much harder than any other kid would . . . but it's no use. I have a learning disability as well, which makes me work and process things slowly. I'm just SO SLOW AND STUPID! Ugh. (This makes things a lot harder for me than other people think.)
Several people hate me. I'm pretty sure my family hates me, to start with. Especially my dad. And I know all homophobic people must hate me because I am a girl who likes girls. But no one hates me as much as I hate myself.
I know some people might tell me to find a counselor or therapist. I already have two of those. But neither of them help me AT ALL. The first one just doesn't understand me, and he does a lot more talking than listening. And the second one treats me as if I'm doing something wrong by feeling this way. I have been self-harming for a while as well. But no one is helping.
I guess I don't have too many logical reasons to feel unhappy. Feeling like everyone hates me and not doing well in school do not count as reasons. But I'm just not strong like other people are. But what is the point of going on? Why don't I just die now so I don't have to suffer anymore? It's not like anyone would care . . . they all hate me.
I wish I could get help. But no one is going to help me. I feel so alone right now and just feel like dying. Right now, suicide is just a thought. I haven't acted on it yet.
Is there anything that can be done to make things better? I don't know what to do anymore or how to go on. But I will appreciate any advice. Thank you. And sorry for the length. (link)
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If I were to zoom back into my thirteen year old self, I would be feeling your same emotions that you are now. Really, I have questions on advicenators from WHEN I was thirteen, these same questions. I know that first bit doesn't help, but I can realize that a lot of people are going to tell you "you're only thirteen, this will soon pass, you're just a teenager" - all sorts of the like. And I'm going to tell you that you and I know it is not easy to be thirteen and lonely, or alienated. When I was thirteen, I felt as though I was looking through a foggy window, and seeing everything from far away, I had feelings of being disconnected from my friends or family. Most normal people get stressed and upset, then they cry, and they start to feel better. Then there are people who do all of these things, but there is always something bringing them down, a "raincloud" over them, if you will.
The first thing I am going to tell you is that you are smart.
You are smart for searching for an explanation, you have a sense of wonder and to find out the truth. Whatever learning disability you have, is not your weakness. There are plenty of different people out there, who all learn in extremely chaotic ways and at different paces.
Being thirteen and in either high school or middle school, you don't have too many options to see this aspect of life(truthfully, I hope I'm not sounding condescending).
In these grades, we all learn in a monochromatic way, all the same. But in reality, this isn't the way our society is determined.
The only reason why the seats are placed in rows in your class room are because they are preparing you to work in a factory based job. The only reason why you leave class from the ring of the bell, is because that is how the factory works. This method has been going on for centuries. Obviously, we aren't working in factories now- But this is a control system. A very old one, and faulty one. So please, do not base whether or not you are adequate through a school system that doesn't know what the true meaning of knowledge is. You do not need to feel hated for being different, learning wise or in any other way.
I'll say it again. You do not need to be hated for feeling different! Embrace it, be proud of your sexuality and your courage to explore. Like I had said,you are a wondrous person. I am not trying to glorify you, this is the truth. I realize someone telling you this over a computer screen isn't going to do much good in your real world scenarios, but please write it down. Read it every day. Write any sort of words that you feel uplift you, and keep it next to your bed. "Courage, embrace, strength --" To name a few. This has helped me even throughout life still. This is an ongoing battle, what you have. But this is your moment, there is always going to be a storm, but those words of positivity can act like an umbrella.
A lot of people embrace the gay community. Have you ever heard of The Gay-Straight Alliance? There might be one in your school. If not, please google that. It'll be a great way for you to see how much support there is all around the world, regardless of where you are at this moment.
Please dump your therapists and counselor. If they aren't doing their job, which they clearly aren't , they don't deserve your time or money. If there are plenty of therapists that you can research in your area, I'd suggest that you do so - if you feel that you need them. Therapy isn't for every distressed soul. Sometimes, you need to find another outlet.
This outlet MUST not be to self-harm, any longer. An outlet such as this turns your mental ailments into physical. Self-harming is a way to release endorphins into your body in a state of extreme depression. But like a drug, it is addicting. All habits like this need to stop, and the only way this can stop is to distract yourself. Write a tally of the days that you do not self harm. Keep track of yourself, look how far you can go after a week, month, a year - with out it. Make a promise to yourself, because you are all you've got.
If you haven't had an interest in the Arts yet, please do so now. Music as well. These two forms of expression are extremely valuable to someone who is searching for answers. You may find yourself relating and connecting to these two types of outlets, and it helps you discover new ways of thinking. And I'm not just talking the things you already know and like. I mean, actually search for new and innovative things. Look up philosophy, art history, movies that make you think. (literally, type these into your search engine!)
If you're not sure where to start, I'd be happy to help give you suggestions of art/movies/music/books that can help you through hard times.
There will be others like you. And they'll show it in different ways. If you start acting upon what I have given you, I guarantee you will find yourself and then find these kinds of people.
Oh, and try to run every day! Even if it's just for like, five minutes at a time. It makes you the blood rush to your head, it makes you awake and alive. Trust me, try it out.
Sorry for the length :) But I hope I helped some. Never hesitate to leave me a question in my ask box, about a more specific matter.
Thank you for your time,
xxKisa
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so i just got braces 2 days ago and they hurt like hell. i can't talk properly without being in pain, i can't eat, i feel sick to my stomach and dizzy and weak and it hurts to smile. i was just fine before i got them. i just need to know about how long are they supposed to hurt? and do they always hurt this much when i get them tightened? please help me! (link)
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Ahhh braces are always a chore! Don't worry though, they'll start feeling better in about 5 days. After two weeks you'll be completely fine :). Getting them tightened will cause some discomfort,but that'll go away with in a couple of hours.
Hope I helped :)!
xkisakissx
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Hi, okay
so basically I'm 19 years old, and I've smoked pot daily since I was 13. My life revolves around it. I often smoke a bowl before I'm even out of bed in the morning, and generally keep my buzz going by smoking more and more on an hourly basis throughout the day. I smoke weed at work, when I was in school, I blazed all day at school too. I got kicked out of my parents house as a result. A lot of my money and energy goes to staying high. I recognize that it isn't a sustainable way to live and I want to stop. But when I'm not maintaining a high, I default to liquor, or whatever drug is available at the time. It's almost like the only place I can get pleasure or contentment is from getting that light, dizzy feeling in my head. I don't want to go to a therapist - I have dysthymia, a borderline personality, ADD, social anxiety, and a whole host of other issues I've been clinically diagnosed with but refuse to take medicine for. As far as I'm concerned, this is the hand that God dealt me with and I believe in coping with it without drugs. I think there's a huge difference between solving a problem, and just eliminating it. So basically smoking weed has been my means of self-medicating and I've been hugely dependant on it for 6 years. I feel like I'm going to be depressed and suicidal if I stop. But I don't wanna be that person that self-medicates either. I would like to stop but willpower has never been one of my strong points and it's HIGHLY available to me.. I won't go into the details because I'd rather not implicate anyone, but there are people in my life who make a living off of pot and they definately aren't going anywhere. Nor do I want these people out of my life, they are very dear loved ones and that just isn't an option. Soo with all this in mind, does anyone have any ideas on how I might stop? Especially I would appreciate comments from people who used to blaze a lot and stopped themselves. Anyways thanks in advance, hope I get something useful (link)
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I can see where you're coming from. I'm not going to bitch to you, but when you consider quitting smoking pot, let this idea really hit you (haha,cheesy puns!)
Anywayssss,
You say you've been smoking for about 6 years. That's a great,great chunk of adolescence you've used the herb. In adolescence, the brain grows in various amounts of ways, that you may not have even realized. You may have grown out of many of your disorders, if you had stayed sober enough to feel normal again. The brain is malleable, almost like clay. Give it enough time to fix itself with out any use of drugs,and you'll be thankful you've stopped.
Since it's been so habitual for so long, you're going to have to very, very slowly turn away from it.But you can do it, if you plan it right.Write down how many times a day you smoke, and how much you spend on it a month, and then how many times a month you smoke (estimated). Once you've done this create a plan on your calender to start cutting down slowly every month, then week, then day, until you are completely ridden of it. (This may take many,many months). Take into consideration the other upsides of ridding yourself, rather than the downsides. You'll have more money, you'll care more, you'll develop a new personality, and you'll feel better about yourself that you're doing something for you. It seems as though you feel trapped within a never ending circle, and are just going with the motions. Stopping the motion all together is the only way to choose a new destination (which in your eyes is a better future)
Now, I'm not one to say ganja is in any way bad, as it has many good effects. Sometimes though, which has happened to many people, it makes them feel like they're not good enough with out it. You may feel intense insecurity, which leads to depression if you don't cope with it the right way. But remember, everyone has felt insecure and vulnerable to new things. Over time it goes away so long as you stick with a positive idea in your head. Think reassuring thoughts, things like
"I will get better, I'm getting older and moving on from this point of my life, I'm doing this for myself. I will become something, create something I'm proud of"
Repeat this as much as you can, write it down, look at it every morning. Whatever it takes.
Next, start to view weed as most of a "fun past time" rather than an "every day ritual". Look at is as though you're breaking up with a girlfriend who's lazy and become a bore,but you'll still be fond of the memories you've shared. :P
Creatively, you can excel- pick up an instrument, a pen and paper, write,draw-create other outlets than just smoking pot all day. Will-power comes when you've got the courage to try something new, and you've clearly decided want to change with this question. So don't think you don't have any, it's in there.
You say it's highly available to you from loved ones, well, to put shortly loved one's will always understand. Say "Truth be told, I'm feeling a need to move on from smoking." - And don't listen to whether they accept it or not, this is for you. If they can't accept it, then let them know that you don't want to live in the situation you've been in and want to try something new. They'll support you and come around if you stick with you're decision, maybe even be proud of you.
I'm going to leave this part short-
Therapy may seem like a "needy-helpy-resource"
But if I could, I'd go to it in a heartbeat. These people have read books upon books of how the mind works, and generally are looking at helping you cope with your disorders,on a brain functioning level. So although they look at you as a person, they're really just applying the general psychological info. they know on how the brain works. It's like, they break down all that is you to your main ingredients, and try to make a new and better mixture. Feel meh? I personally think it's fascinating, if you couldn't tell :P.
I really hope I've helped, I know this is long, but I've been here before. It's a long road. But you gotta start somewhere. I can only hope for the best for you now, good luck and stay strong!
xkisakissx
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can you still get CHLAMYDIA even if you have safe sex? (link)
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Yes, there's always a chance of catching an STD from any time of intercourse. Chlamydia is curable with antibiotics, although I'd still advise using condoms and birth control.
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I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.
I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?
Sorry if this is too long! (link)
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If he's not being truthful, then he's immature. I'd hope you see that he's immature, and that you don't have to waste your time on a guy like that. If he is posting things about you on facebook,and making a group about it, that shows he has no self-esteem and is desperate for attention. If it's truly affecting you negatively and you're afraid that the exposure of the things he's said is going to hurt your reputation, you can report him or the group. (from a friends page, seeing as he's blocked you.) Internet abuse is still abuse. If he's not going to be honest with you, there's no trust, and that alone is enough to break it off. I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but right off the bat I can see this guy isn't fit for anybody to date, at least until he grows up. Hope I've helped, and sorry things have come to that conclusion! Hope for the best.
xkisakissx
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So i'm pretty unhappy right now. I'm in college and I'm not necessarily finding it hard to make friends but I'm not happy with my situation now. In high school, I despised my social situation. All I've ever wanted was to fit in like a puzzle piece in a group of friends that I love to death. I had a few good friends and a best friend (another bad situation, story for another time) and that was pretty much it. I know, you're thinking quality, not quantity but there was not much quality either and neither is there at this point. There's this girl, Julie who is one of my best friends. At first I thought she didn't have much interest in me but then we all of the sudden became really close. I was ecstatic. She's way cooler and more fun than any of the friends I had in high school put together and it made my confidence go way up that she liked me so much and I could make a friend I actually liked and respected (I would never tell her that though, I try my best to act confidently). We're in the same circle of friends and we're all in the same residence building and they're all really cool, fun, and pretty as well. I was a dork in high school and before winter break and during I felt so proud that these people showed a strong interest in me. Well, my confidence has gone down exponentially over the past week. Julie has been paying a lot less attention to me and more to our gay friend Dan and a couple other people, which she has every right to do but it's crushing me. I can tell she's not as excited to be around me anymore. And this isn't just a paranoid vibe. I'm painfully jealous of the awesome relationship they are forming while I'm not really a part of it. It just makes me think that it was too good to be true. I'm not cool enough and I never will be. For a while I actually thought I was becoming this cool, fun person that people admired but now, I think that was too good to be true. I'm friends with all of them but now I feel like I don't totally fit in. The main thing is Julie. I'm trying to tell myself not to let one person bring me down but I'm disappointed. I think back to how happy I was when she started becoming really close with me and how jealous I am of the same thing that's happening with another person. I'm back to feeling like an unintelligent dork again when for a couple of months, I actually felt funny, fun, and likeable. I've always, always, always just wanted a group of friends. Not two or three here and there, a GROUP, who loved me as much as I loved them. My social life has been my number one priority since college and I try so, so hard for it not to be that way but I can't change it. I need acceptance. I need to be loved, and not but awkward people I don't like but the ones I do like. And trust me, I don't act clingy and needy to any of my friends. I'm good at concealing my emotions and needy is the least way I'd ever want to come off as. The whole Julie thing is the main thing that's absolutely crushing me. Talking to her about it is a bad idea. She's not doing anything wrong and if she's truly not interested in me, I can't force her really like me. I'm just extremely disappointed and insecure and I feel like everything has been reset to the way it was in high school. I just want a solution to this disappointment. I know, I can make new friends but it's not the easiest thing in the world and it doesn't resolve my disappointment about Julie. I want the happiness I had two months ago back. SORRY SO LONG
(link)
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This question really sparked my interest, so I hope you don't mind the long read! (That's what you get for writing a long question! :P)
If the situation has followed you from highschool, in my humble opinion, it tells me that you may need to change your view on how you see friendship. It's safe to say you're not alone on this subject. Many people feel this way, and all of it really comes down to is your thoughts. If you always think of yourself as "not cool","doesn't fit in", and "uninteresting"- you will indeed become all of these things. It sounds like you need to work on yourself, your own confidence. Negative thoughts show in actions and facial expressions- even if you're hiding your emotions. Now that you know this, don't be paranoid about your every move. Instead, change how you think :)! At all costs, every time you think of a bad thought- Breathe, count to 3, and say to yourself a VERY reassuring thought of what you want to be.
For example:
"I am becoming more and more confident."
and
"I am comfortable being myself around others".
and most importantly
"I love and accept myself"
Don't second guess this, if you try to, just shake your head, and repeat the thoughts. Repeat them until you're calm. (I'd advise doing this alone, or in a mirror. Anywhere else- may get a bit odd :P)
I really want you to just take a step back and look at your past situations, mainly your most recent onces. Look for one thing you find in common with all of them. Is it, that you're paranoid they don't want to be around you? That you think, you're not worthy of their time? If you've ever thought that about anything, please realize this is most definitely NOT the case. It's simply you backing out of a new experience, because you might be afraid that you'll lose friendship. That's understandable but you can't fear losing someone. People come and go, but don't be afraid of human nature. Don't be afraid to be the one to go either. Keep trying new things.
As for the "jealously" aspect. This grips everyone as well. But calmly think that this new girl, Julie- is it? Yeah, Julie and Dan are just creating a bond. Don't shy away from their bond, but rather embrace it! You're all friends, and maybe you and Dan can hangout alone eventually and have a good time. If you read that and thought "No way!" - This may mean you need to calm down around new people, that you may just be a bit shy and that's okay. It takes some adjusting, especially in college. Julie still likes you, there's nothing you're doing wrong. But I'd say, don't leave yourself to just Julie as a designated "comfort" friend. Find other people, have them join you all. It's always better to include people, than to seclude them from a good time. People will be drawn in by your ability to be comfortable around everyone. This takes practice, but don't worry, as long as you try it out it'll get easier :}.
And it's good to open up to people. Don't be afraid to say something no matter how you feel. Everyone also feels very left out at times- but that's then your chance to ask people if THEY want to hang out, or do something fun. If they're not down, find people who are. Don't fall into a hole and stay there. Keep moving, have you're own opinions, and stand your ground. It get's easier to realize these things if you've been through it before, I hope I've opened your eyes to some new things :). Good luck with your college experience and just have fun! No stress~
xkisakissx
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what happens if yu get an eyelash in your eye? (link)
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You turn into a leprechaun, and are doomed to steal people's shoelaces for all of eternity.
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please read i need help
is is possible to find love again? i am so scared that i will never find someone else. i have been trying. ever since my bf of 2 years broke up with me about a year and a half ago. my greatest fear used to be losing him and that already happend. now my new fear is never finding that special person who loves me respects me and would treat me right. people have said that he WILL come to you when you least expect it and to not go out looking for it because it will be when the time is right. im in my late teens and still young. im a good girl and i nice person. i dont know what to do. im so confused and feel so alone and im ready for that special someone but i just cant seem to find him. i dont know what to do. is there someone for everyone. what should i do ? (link)
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Thing is, no matter which way you put it, YOU have to make it happen. Sitting and feeling upset about the past and longing for an emotion isn't going to cut it. See, I've been here before. I've longed for that "feeling" again- that safeness, the happiness that comes with a kiss, and whatever else of the little things that means so much to us. The first step is to have no fear. Transfer all of your pain into courage and strength to move forward. Every decision that you're too afraid to do because of past events, pull through yourself,and go for it. Never miss out on an opportunity! You'll never know how anything feels if you don't experience it. I promise you, you won't regret it. Fortune comes to you when you're in your element, it's important to stay happy, always outgoing and up for conversation no matter where you go. Create options for yourself! Date around, see what qualities of different men that you do and do not like. No one said the next one has to be THE one- it may be someone you'd never expect! :} You need to think, "I'm not alone, I have a family and friends" - fill your heart with this happiness and a hobby, for the time being. Try a bunch of new things, and always make the first move. Relationship wise, our traditional fear lies in rejection. When meeting new guys, don't think about rejection, think about first and foremost getting to know them. No decent human being rejects a friendly conversation. Is there someone for everyone? That's for you to get out there and find out! Push yourself, and don't accept feeling alone, if you can transform the amount of energy you put into wondering "why" into getting out there and being optimistic, I assure you things will change in your favor :].
Good luck, and hope I helped!
xKisaKissx
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I just started having my period and I want to tell my mom so that she knows. I am having trouble finding the right words to say that won't embarrass me or make her confused. We don't really talk about periods or anything so I don't want to make the entire thing uncomfortable. From your own personal experience, how did you tell your mom that you had started your period? Well, I guess it doesn't have to be actually your mom, but whoever you told--how did you say you started having periods? (link)
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I feel yah on this. Just say "Hey mom, so, you know that thing a girl gets every month that starts around this age? Yeah, I got it." She'll get it right away and won't mind grabbing you some pads either. No worries !
xkisakissx
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Well, my E. science teacher was saying that my future is going to be very different. He says that technology is becoming more disturbing to the point where it would soon be possible to use memory chips & download info to a human brain, it would make us geniuses BUT would take away our free will. Also, he said something about human DNA in a tiny gel chip or something, that they can use our DNA on technological machines and they can possibly get minds of their own. He says that with radio & some other material, that he can produce frequencies or something that can control our moods. It seems creepy. He also said that we are slowly being brainwashed by the things we read & do at school. Is this possible in the future? Will technology become a problem? He says a cause of crime is a shortage in work that doesn't require much education. Such as factory work- Done by machines, tolls EZ pass- Less toll workers, farming- technology takes away jobs. If thy want to make jobs, un-make some technology & many jobs will co (link)
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I find this interesting to read, because just today in my psychology class, I was reading an article on a topic much similar to this. Mind you, this book was created in 1994. The psychologist was talking about an old man and how he had been found to have a terminal illness, he only had six months to live. They then gave him an option, to upload his memory-- generally his brain(memories,personality,ect.ect.)- onto some kind of chip. And so, the old man would have his general "self"- but his body would be replaced with other sensors that connected to the brain. He explained that all our brains really do, is tell the rest of our body what to do and when to do it. They thought they can replace this with computer technology. Things like "microphones as ears, cyborg-goggles as eyes" (the normal things that decay, would then be replaced with fancy and surely indestructible junk) The man suggested technology like this would happen "In the year 20-something" or, "20 to 50 years from now"- That was 16 years ago. So are we moving closer to that goal we've predicted long ago? Truth is, no matter how close we get in this day- there's still many-MANY kinks to work out. Can we expect it to happen? It's possibly so. In the near future? Probably not. What does this suggest for humanity and our morals? Where do we stand, will we want it and do we have a choice? I'm sure I can try to explain it, but I really think it's important for you to form your own opinion on it.
We're a generation that's going to have a lot on our plates. Our decisions affect the future world. It's scary, but wouldn't you rather be in your hands, than someone else's? I will say that this society is becoming more and more brainwashed by the day. Granted we give in to trends, listen to the media and believe a lot of superficial garbage. But that's simply the human reaction to change. Can there be some good and bad within all of these things? Of course! Are we growing more and more lazy? Clearly. If machines ran our world, everything would be done for us, and essentially we wouldn't need to exist. That is, unless we ourselves become machines. Don't let your teacher scare you though, a lot of things will do some good as well. In my eyes, best move forward than back, or at stalemate with nothing helping us. We can't predict the future :P. But it's ours, and we can turn it into anything we want! Which is why it's so important to make sure we've got the right idea's to benefit us. It's just a matter of choice, we've all got it!
I hope I shed some light on this, or gave you a different perspective at least :}!
Thanks for the question!
xkisakissx
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I was alone in a restaurant recently where I am a regular customer. A waitress, with whom I have never spoken before, came up to me and asked me if I wanted her to introduce me to some girls (!). I was thoroughly taken aback, as no one has ever walked up to me and asked me anything like that.
I had no idea how to interpret that (if she was flirting with me, why would she talk about other girls? If she wasn't, what brought that up out of nowhere?), and I responded with confusion and suspicion rather than poise, asking her what that was all about. She said it was merely "making conversation", and she said she wouldn't bother me further; this ended the interaction.
How would I have more properly handled this? What does it mean when someone approaches like that?
Thanks to all for your help. (link)
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Well, you could say she was suggesting the girls most plainly because, perhaps she was waiting on them as well and they asked for her to be the "middle man". Something along the lines of "That girl over there wanted to buy you a drink". That's totally a guess though, you'd be surprised of the "techniques" some girls use to start talking to a fellow xD. Her motive could may as well been inferring to flirt, but just using that as an opening. Say, if you were to say yes, what would she have done? Maybe she would further long the flirting, or she could take it as you'd go for anyone, you know? Everyone thinks differently- so there's really a broad array of answers for this question! In my opinion, she probably thought you were attractive enough to be showcased off to some girls- which would hint that she herself may be interested in the first place. For her to end it on that note, it seems as though she was expecting more of a flirtatious response, but received a taken-aback one. The common "oh, what a stupid thing to say!" was probably going through her head. Though it wasn't what you intended, it wasn't a rude reaction at all either, so don't worry about that! If you're a regular costumer, she's probably recognized you before. And hey, since you're going to go back there again, my advise would be to start up a conversation with her this time, and if your interested in her you could do a subtle flirt- something like, a bright smile and a bit more eye contact than usual. If she responds to it positively then you'll know what her true motives were! If nothing come out of it, well hey, it was a fun experiment, right? Hope I helped some and good luck on your wonderings!
xkisakissx
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If you give head to a guy at a party while your boyfriend is not there does that mean you cheated on your boyfriend? Yeah, the guy was really hot but it's not like we had sex or anything. I didn't even let him finger me! My boyfriend is really pissed and won't talk to me now but I really can't see his reasoning or point of view. I've done this a few times before but I haven't told him about it and regret telling him this time. Do you think giving a blow job is REALLY cheating? I mean, come on...it's like...kissing...sort of...I don't see a problem. (link)
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In my eyes, anything as to kissing someone else or being involved with someone else mentally or physically is a certain form of cheating. However, to you, it might be different. You may view you're way of a relationship different than other people do. Generally though, you can't only think of what you yourself would consider cheating, because you have to take in account his views. In his eyes you've hurt him, which means he considers it cheating(which you already know). It kind of makes him think, "Wow, this chick really doesn't care about me,for her to go off with another guy." ; All is said and done now.But down the road, If you truly didn't intend to hurt him, you would make an effort to be with him and only him. If you didn't realize you valued him that much, recalculate your mistakes and try to get him back. In retrospect if you don't care about his feelings, then why bother? Do you really want a relationship? Many things to ask yourself! Hopefully it all works out a way best for both of you! Good luck,
xkisakissx
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So I have been having these dreams about this guy that i dont or havent had any feelings for, and summer is narrowing down and im starting to think about this guy. Its not heart winching like when I really like someone its just thoughts of him. Its like im missing him but i dont really talk to him alot, just in classes and stuff. I just want to talk to him and i dont know why. Like my friend had a big crush on him. She doesnt like him she says its just like an never ending thing because we've known him through elementry and highschool but yet never talked to him really. Thats the only connecting i see by him beeing in my dreams. But I dont think thats the reason. I just want to know why I would dream about him and now i cant stop thinking about him. I know they're just dreams and dreams are just dreams. I just dont understand where this is coming from. Me thinking about him randomly. Help me please because I dont want to start liking him because I know we wont ever have anything. So thanks for the help! (link)
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Sometimes, whether you may realize it or not, you over think a situation which causes it to manifest within your cranium- meaning it leads to all different kinds of thoughts (good or bad) --that you question. If you really can't narrow down what started making you think about him, or why you are- it's pretty much up to you as to what you can do. The more you try not to think about it, the more you will. It's like saying "Try not to think about penguins" -- you're instantly prone to thinking of them. You could, just bring it up to him randomly- maybe you're brains looking for a reason to talk to him, whatever reason it may be! Or if that's too ris-que for you, talk it over with yourself. Try to remember the other elements of the (dreams). Maybe your thinking about your friend, which triggered something that made you channel an attribute of hers. See if talking to her- not about the dream but just her love interests lately- solves any confusion. But all in all, a dream is a dream-like you said- it's subconscious. It could just mean you're looking for someone and have chosen him as an example. There's so many ways to base it, and sometimes it can really stress you out if you think about it too much, which may trick you into thinking you actually like this guy :P. All in all, it's best to talk to him anyways if you are in the same classes this year- I mean, what's the worst that could happen? ;) Take it how you want it, either an initiative to start up something, or just a silly little dream of romance :P. It's all in the mind, so don't take it too literal ! :D Hope i helped yah in any way and good luck*!
xkisakissx
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Well I'm not sure where to begin but it seems my past is always afecting every dream every desier and hopes that I have now in the present I was always told that the past is the past and it shouldn't. Be dug up but its always there kicking me in the teeth .I'm not a bad person.in fact I would give the shirt off my back to a complete stranger but people always take advantage of my kindness when I was 16 my mother devorced my dad and I was emancipated as an adult I was living on my own since then I'm 39 now my family has always treated me like an outcast I'm with a woman now we live together as comon law I talk to her about my feelings but I get no comfort just suck it up its ok but its not ok I regret everything that has hapend to me in my past and I can't let. Go of the rejection my family has brought on me maybe its my fault maybe I got what I deseve and just have to live with it the rest of my life and to think nobody understands or even care what I go through everyday I'm still crawling to the otherside but can't. Move forward because I'm in a box and I'm sufacating in my own sorrow is there any hope for me ? (link)
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Everyone's got some dark times of their past that, sometimes, can come back to haunt you. If you're looking at your life in a shoe box, you haven't given your self much room to grow from. Each day from now on, will take a lot of work and time to climb out of this box you've put yourself in.But you can do it, so long as you have that motivation to stand up. I think you should get out there into the real world, proceed in a hobby you've long missed or loved to do. But that's just the thing, this IS reality. Don't forget that your ALIVE, living each day. Take hold of today and suck as much life out of it as you can! This day, or the next, or the next. There should be no excuses to just get out and do something completely out of your comfort zone. Why not?! You were told not to look back, and you did. And now, you're feeling this way. See, I wouldn't ignore this, I'd actually try to sort it out. Have you tried talking to your parents? Stood up for yourself ? Would it be worth a shot? You have to ask yourself all these questions, and if you can't find the answer within yourself, get out there and do them. See- I don't know what kind of people your family claims to be, but if you find it worth your time to be accepted by them- by all means, give it a damn shot! And if they deny you, then why waste time counting lost years? It's their loss, really. I feel as though you should really focus on yourself, and try to look at the fresh start you can have for yourself. It's the steps you must take to redeem yourself, it starts with you. It's good that you realize there's something wrong in your life, it's the first step to getting better in fact! Keep looking up, there is hope so long as you believe its there. Don't give in to living any other what but how YOU want to! I hope I shed some light, and good luck to you good sir!
xkisakissx
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Im 17 and i know ill be losing my virginity this summer. But apart of me still thinks HE is too good for me. And that im not that beautiful and skinny enough to have sex. Has anyone ever felt this way? How should i get over these feelings? (link)
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Don't ever let yourself think you are not good enough for someone. Also don't feel those insecurities by thinking about them. If you believe you are beautiful just the way you are, and accept yourself, others will feel and see this too. Everyone's tastes are different, and even he may feel like he's not good enough for you. The cards can always be flipped. Just have confidence within yourself, and don't ever hold the flaws you think you have higher than the positive aspects of you. Yes, everyone has these little standards we set for ourselves, and we all believe we have faults. Let the good triumph over the bad,as if nothing else but your good qualities matter. Just focus on the moment, and have fun- don't worry about anything else ! Chances are he's worrying about the same thing, this could just be the nerves from the situation. Point is, as long as you believe you already impress him, you shouldn't have to care about doing just that- because it's already been done XD. I hope I'm making some sense. Anywho,I really hope I helped and have a kick ass summer ;)
xkisakissx
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Okay so me and my boyfriend broke up about a week ago.He broke up with me because "i was too overwhelming and a lot for him to handle" and ofcourse i was clingy.We were together all the time,cuddling,talking,making food,jokes,sleeping,just doing everything.I did EVERYTHING for him.I bought him everything,drove him around,just everything.He always held my hand,called me "baby",just did all cute boyfriend stuff and then on one day..he randomly broke up with me.We were perfectly fine (so i thought) and did it randomly .I was devastated.He went on vacation for like 6 days and we didnt speak one word because he thought I hated him.He came back last night and was texting my friend (a boy) and asked him what he's doing and stuff and told him he was at my house and that he should come over and he didnt want to because it'd be awkward.Well i called him and texted him and told him i didnt hate him and to come over so we could talk.We had a great talk,and sorted things out perfectly..but he says he wants to stay strictly "friends",but really good friends and we could hangout all the time etc. I wrote him a 2 page letter and he went in the bathroom and read the whole thing because he was in there for so long.He came back and didnt have much to say,he just said it was a "really deep" letter.We sat on my bed and continued to talk for an hour,while everyone else was downstairs.While we were walking up the stairs,he put his hand back to hold mine and then stopped himself because he realized we weren't "together" anymore.He kept like play fighting with me like we used to and then just giving me a big hug after.and when we were in the car ,i kept falling asleep and he was like telling everyone to wake me up because he knows that when i fall asleep ,i hit my head on things..so he was basically looking out for me like he used too.He was also "claiming " a side of my bed saying it's his..because when we used to lay there,he always got the same side.I'm still crazy for this boy and he claims he wants to be friends..I was thinking about staying friends and being A LOT less clingy ,not always willing to hangout with him, and less flirty and see if he comes back,when he realizes what he had.because he told me "im the most amazing girl he's ever met".I didn't even attempt to really flirt with him last night or get emotional because I want to show that I agree with him.I really want him back.What should I do? (link)
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It seems to me like his problem was in fact how clingy you were. I mean, I wouldn't blame you if you really liked him, but sometimes we don't realize how much is too much. I think maybe you should take a step back, and look at how much you put into the relationship compared to him. Yes, you did everything for him, but this could make him feel like he didn't have a chance to do anything for you, you feel meh? I'm not sure how long you've been dating, but if it hasn't been long, perhaps he felt like you were rushing things. My best advice is for you both to stay single for awhile, and learn to control things within yourself. Yes you want to jump on him and hug him,and do all these things for him. But he also needs his personal freedom. Being together should be a unity and equalness. New love is exciting, you just need to take it a little slower :P. And there's no problem with this, actually this is quite the easy thing to fix! You just got to focus on controlling your emotions. Think of him as a drug, and you addicted- don't abuse his amazing greatness xD! Create special moments only when they deserve to be special. I think you're pretty much on the right track anyways, and you seem to understand the situation well, so as long as you get rid of the clingyness within you- you'll most likely end up together again :D. (seeing as he clearly still likes you).
Anyway that's my take on this! Hope i helped
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I have a round face and have round thick eyebrows, do you think high arch eyebrows will look better on me? (link)
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Short and simply put, Absolutely! Arch's look good with most faces, as long as the arch compliments your face!
http://lifestyle.iloveindia.com/lounge/different-eyebrow-shapes-2943.html
It really depends on your eyebrow shape,so check out these and see which one you think would complete your look :). Hope I helped!
xkiskissx
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Okay, so recently to sum my story up short, My Boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5years. In the past I have caught him maybe 2yrs ago lying about girls he had slept with and he put it all out on the table who and what he lied about. 2 years later here we are he lied to me again saying he was going to sleep Friday night because he had to "work" saturday morning an I didn't trust him at all because his whole story about working had been changing, because he lives out of town also! He just recently moved away as well, so he said basically he couldn't come into town because he had to work. I trusted that he said he had to work even though things were sketchy! SO I called his friend later that night he picked up the phone an hungup an I heard music playing , eventually Travis called an chewed me out saying he was sleeping an stop calling him. I just so happened to check his account and see he was lying and at a nude bar? I kept thinking why would he lie, I caughthim an drove all the way to south carolina to fix things with him NOTE:i didnt do anything wrong, I think any female would have done the same an checked up on their bf of 5 YEARS. So he is wanting to break up because I went on his online banking and he foundout tuesday I tried logging in again and he changed his password so I couldn't go on an I assumed maybe he was hiding stuff and questioned him about it? I wrote him a long email saying if he wanted closure I will give it to him an called him that night to talk, this time he wasnt yelling at me on the phone he listened an just commented saying I dont trust him an never did, an that's why he did it an tried to get away with it because he knew I wouldn't approve of him going out like he did. Well needless to say we ended the convo on good terms he said he would call me and hasn't called yet, it's been about a day now! SO I want to know am I wrong? What can I do to fix it? I told him I would go to counseling to do whatever it took to make it work an would trust him but at the same time he has to gain that back from me? I don't know what more to do I have talked to al kinds of people at work, managers everything and have no clue what to do?? ANY advice would be appreciated , Thank you SO much! (link)
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Well,we all know that above all else the most important and core reason in any relationship is trust.With out this, you really can't build off anything.I know this is a guy you've loved for 5 years,but think back to the first time you met. Are things different now? Have you changed, has he? Maybe this guy isn't the person you love anymore, and though it hurts sometimes people just naturally part ways. Now i know i'm not giving you any advice as to what to do about him lying about where he was, but that's because this is what it boils down to. Whats been happening for all these years is you're living in stress,or fear that your man is going to cheat on you, because he already has. If you have a gut feeling you shouldn't be trusting him, you have every right to believe in this feeling. You know him,there fore you know of what his actions and true intentions are. It's your decision to act on them or not. If I were you, i would write a list of everything he's done,good and bad, and for every bad thing he's done- write weather he made up for it or not, and what he did to make up for it. That should give you a good idea of if he's really been worth all of this effort.Then I'd go down to talk to him face to face. But what i would have in mind all these things he's done,and give him a straight forward talk about everything you think needs to be fixed in your relationship. If he's not ready to change it,then you got to be ready to make a change in your life.You should also be open to what he wants to change as well,within reason. Now i can't really sit here and tell you to leave your boyfriend, because i don't know many things about your relationship. But in the end your first priority is to be happy, and if it's not with him, it'll be by yourself,your friends,and family. Also just a point- since you're further away from each other now, the space will make it easier. All in all everything's up in the air until you have a serious talk with him about your whole relationship. Hopefully things will work out in your favor,weather you guys stay together or you move on to independence. I also hope i helped ! Good luck to you :]
xkisakissx
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Alright here's the deal. I always thought my hair would look nice straightened and so, my gf offered to straighten it for me and she did and wow it looks freggin' Awesome lol. But sad fact of the matter is just about every one that has seen it has called it gay, now I can understand where I live at people prolly aren't use to it, and I picked up this punk style of clothing with it when i did that with my hair but it still make me po'd when people want to just say that because I do that with my hair. Any comments our help?
-15/m (link)
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Dude, do they not see you have a girlfriend? People are ignorant jerks sometimes, in no way should you feel bad that you straighten your hair. Soooo many guys i know do it, and they're not one bit gay, not that that would matter at all :P. Anyway if it really bugs you,i heard that there's this thing you can get at the salon that makes it so your hair's less curly/poofy, for guys. I don't know if you watch youtube, but if you do you might know of Shane Dawson- and in one of his videos he did this ;P. Girls really don't mind it when guys straighten their hair,and we can blame our sucky culture for the narrow minded people who think its "gay" for guys to style their hair every once in awhile. Its kind of like when girls get really short hair- oh,they must be a lesbian,right? It's just not fair, is what i'm trying to say XD. Anywho point blank, don't worry about it- eventually people will just get over it, and probably forget that you even do it. have fun :] hope i helped!
xkisakissx
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