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i am afraid of remaining alone
please read i need help
is is possible to find love again? i am so scared that i will never find someone else. i have been trying. ever since my bf of 2 years broke up with me about a year and a half ago. my greatest fear used to be losing him and that already happend. now my new fear is never finding that special person who loves me respects me and would treat me right. people have said that he WILL come to you when you least expect it and to not go out looking for it because it will be when the time is right. im in my late teens and still young. im a good girl and i nice person. i dont know what to do. im so confused and feel so alone and im ready for that special someone but i just cant seem to find him. i dont know what to do. is there someone for everyone. what should i do ?
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I went through something like this also. I took time to figure my self out it really helped in the long run. Your not focused on finding that guy just not thinking about it helps. Learning to be alone for awhile is a big step for self improvement
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How old are you? 18, maybe 19?
That means you have likely have another 60 years of life ahead of you, and only about 5 years behind you were you were able to date anyone in any sensible and honest way.
Not only is it possible you'll find love again, it's damn likely. It's most likely that you will actually find a few more loves before you are tossed into your grave.
Frankly, I think the late teens it the toughest time for many people to be single. Being in high school or early college, and working through all the transitions in life and friendships that those years bring on you it's natural to feel the most detached and lost. You are alone, in many ways, at this time of your life. The support network of your childhood and adolescence is shifting and fading, and your adult support network of friends and colleagues has not developed yet. A romantic partner does ease that feeling somewhat, no doubt.
So my advice to you is three-fold:
First, don't stop looking for love. The 'it'll happen when you least expect' line is total bullshit. It's like the 'love at first sight' story. They are sweet stories, but the truth is meeting people is hard, developing relationships is hard, and you have to be ready and keen for it. So don't be ashamed to say "YES! I'm looking for people to date. I want to date. I want a romance in my life." It's honest, and it's productive. There is a big difference between 'trying to hard', and simply being honest.
Second, try to find ways to deal with your overarching loneliness. Volunteering, take a class, invite a co-worker or new person in your life out for lunch and work on expanding your network, OR reconnect with someone from your past you are sorry you lost touch with.
Finally, keep working on you. Keep on being a nice person and be friendly and approachable. Bitterness and desperation are the enemy. Hope and respect for everyone around you, regardless of what they bring into your life, is the best recipe for an open heart and a clear head.
We all feel this way sometimes. You will probably feel like this again in your life at some point. The important part is finding ways to pull through that keep you sane, and a good person. If you can do that, you will fall in love again, guaranteed.
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Thing is, no matter which way you put it, YOU have to make it happen. Sitting and feeling upset about the past and longing for an emotion isn't going to cut it. See, I've been here before. I've longed for that "feeling" again- that safeness, the happiness that comes with a kiss, and whatever else of the little things that means so much to us. The first step is to have no fear. Transfer all of your pain into courage and strength to move forward. Every decision that you're too afraid to do because of past events, pull through yourself,and go for it. Never miss out on an opportunity! You'll never know how anything feels if you don't experience it. I promise you, you won't regret it. Fortune comes to you when you're in your element, it's important to stay happy, always outgoing and up for conversation no matter where you go. Create options for yourself! Date around, see what qualities of different men that you do and do not like. No one said the next one has to be THE one- it may be someone you'd never expect! :} You need to think, "I'm not alone, I have a family and friends" - fill your heart with this happiness and a hobby, for the time being. Try a bunch of new things, and always make the first move. Relationship wise, our traditional fear lies in rejection. When meeting new guys, don't think about rejection, think about first and foremost getting to know them. No decent human being rejects a friendly conversation. Is there someone for everyone? That's for you to get out there and find out! Push yourself, and don't accept feeling alone, if you can transform the amount of energy you put into wondering "why" into getting out there and being optimistic, I assure you things will change in your favor :].
Good luck, and hope I helped!
xKisaKissx
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im your same age. same year & half single. & I have a baby. I thought I was screwed haha. I tried & tried to find some one with qualifications in everyguy I met, & just set myself up for dissapointment. so I stopped lookin & enjoyed my life, you know? & then I did meet a great guy. so the people you talked to were right! YOURE YOUNG. you have 60-70 years in your life left, just enjoy bein a teen ager,& have fun! you lookin wont changr the right time, itll just fill the in between time with bullshit.
my inbox is always open!
x sweeethoney
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