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break up/friendship
Okay so me and my boyfriend broke up about a week ago.He broke up with me because "i was too overwhelming and a lot for him to handle" and ofcourse i was clingy.We were together all the time,cuddling,talking,making food,jokes,sleeping,just doing everything.I did EVERYTHING for him.I bought him everything,drove him around,just everything.He always held my hand,called me "baby",just did all cute boyfriend stuff and then on one day..he randomly broke up with me.We were perfectly fine (so i thought) and did it randomly .I was devastated.He went on vacation for like 6 days and we didnt speak one word because he thought I hated him.He came back last night and was texting my friend (a boy) and asked him what he's doing and stuff and told him he was at my house and that he should come over and he didnt want to because it'd be awkward.Well i called him and texted him and told him i didnt hate him and to come over so we could talk.We had a great talk,and sorted things out perfectly..but he says he wants to stay strictly "friends",but really good friends and we could hangout all the time etc. I wrote him a 2 page letter and he went in the bathroom and read the whole thing because he was in there for so long.He came back and didnt have much to say,he just said it was a "really deep" letter.We sat on my bed and continued to talk for an hour,while everyone else was downstairs.While we were walking up the stairs,he put his hand back to hold mine and then stopped himself because he realized we weren't "together" anymore.He kept like play fighting with me like we used to and then just giving me a big hug after.and when we were in the car ,i kept falling asleep and he was like telling everyone to wake me up because he knows that when i fall asleep ,i hit my head on things..so he was basically looking out for me like he used too.He was also "claiming " a side of my bed saying it's his..because when we used to lay there,he always got the same side.I'm still crazy for this boy and he claims he wants to be friends..I was thinking about staying friends and being A LOT less clingy ,not always willing to hangout with him, and less flirty and see if he comes back,when he realizes what he had.because he told me "im the most amazing girl he's ever met".I didn't even attempt to really flirt with him last night or get emotional because I want to show that I agree with him.I really want him back.What should I do?
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It seems to me like his problem was in fact how clingy you were. I mean, I wouldn't blame you if you really liked him, but sometimes we don't realize how much is too much. I think maybe you should take a step back, and look at how much you put into the relationship compared to him. Yes, you did everything for him, but this could make him feel like he didn't have a chance to do anything for you, you feel meh? I'm not sure how long you've been dating, but if it hasn't been long, perhaps he felt like you were rushing things. My best advice is for you both to stay single for awhile, and learn to control things within yourself. Yes you want to jump on him and hug him,and do all these things for him. But he also needs his personal freedom. Being together should be a unity and equalness. New love is exciting, you just need to take it a little slower :P. And there's no problem with this, actually this is quite the easy thing to fix! You just got to focus on controlling your emotions. Think of him as a drug, and you addicted- don't abuse his amazing greatness xD! Create special moments only when they deserve to be special. I think you're pretty much on the right track anyways, and you seem to understand the situation well, so as long as you get rid of the clingyness within you- you'll most likely end up together again :D. (seeing as he clearly still likes you).
Anyway that's my take on this! Hope i helped<3 :D
xkisakissx
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Hi i'm sorry for what happened but well it wasn't a messy one so isn't that good. I think the only reason one should break up with the other is only when they realize they don't like each other anymore. Here just because you are too much for him to handle doesn't seem a fair reason to break up. If that's the case you guys should sort it out. You said you both were doing everything together, well you shouldn't have. You should be away from each other so each can have your space, hang out with your friends, do other things and that's even a chance to miss each other. You want him back but does he want the same too? What you can do is talk to him about it. You just can't feel that way, not tell him and do things to win him back. If he's not interested you would be really hurt later. Good luck!!
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