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Im 17 and i know ill be losing my virginity this summer. But apart of me still thinks HE is too good for me. And that im not that beautiful and skinny enough to have sex. Has anyone ever felt this way? How should i get over these feelings?
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Ive never felt this way but honestly your dealing with a self-concious issue. Your in a way syching yourself out. You need to honestly think to yourself "do i really wanna go throuogh with this?" because if your saying things like this you probably arent ready. You might be mentally ready in a way but in your heart you might not be. Your having doubts about weather your good enough, your appearance and so on. Just think about it befor you commit to it!
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I honestly can't tell you how to deal with those feelings. Let's face it, I'm a guy, so my mind first jumps to "therapy"
But there's something to be said about being ready for the emotional impact sex can bring into life and relationships.
You're really not ready to handle that well yet.
I mean, you're still evaluating relationships based on visual worth, sex is supposed to be approached from the angle of "hey, we're both human beings and we want to fuck each others brains out" not "The social equation is in balance, my beauty plus a willingness to give blow jobs equals being worthy of sex with a guy X hot!"
This isn't algebra. On a fundamental level I don't think you get that. There's no such thing as classes or leagues. There are only people you're compatible with and people you aren't.
I wonder. Do you think friendship is a requirement for relationships?
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Hun its called fear of inadequacy. The thing is we are all equal and we all have important things and interesting characteristics about us. How do you KNOW he is too good for you? How do you KNOW that's what he thinks? Unless he told you, you don't. Obviously if you were inadequate, you would have been told so strait off. Hun, you need to have confidence in yourself that we are simply human beings living in this crazy place called earth.
What leads you to your fear? Is it previous rejection? Lack of attention? Well honey, i bet he has felt the same way before. Is it a skill you have had? Verbal communication? Sports? Try practicing. Be bold but be genuine is all i have to say.
Take care and goodluck :)
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Don't ever let yourself think you are not good enough for someone. Also don't feel those insecurities by thinking about them. If you believe you are beautiful just the way you are, and accept yourself, others will feel and see this too. Everyone's tastes are different, and even he may feel like he's not good enough for you. The cards can always be flipped. Just have confidence within yourself, and don't ever hold the flaws you think you have higher than the positive aspects of you. Yes, everyone has these little standards we set for ourselves, and we all believe we have faults. Let the good triumph over the bad,as if nothing else but your good qualities matter. Just focus on the moment, and have fun- don't worry about anything else ! Chances are he's worrying about the same thing, this could just be the nerves from the situation. Point is, as long as you believe you already impress him, you shouldn't have to care about doing just that- because it's already been done XD. I hope I'm making some sense. Anywho,I really hope I helped and have a kick ass summer ;)
xkisakissx
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Hi :)
Yes, I have felt that way. Boy, does it suck. Just know that everyone in this world is different. Different colors, sizes, shapes, so on and so forth. Also, each person has their own opinion on what is considered beautiful and what isn't. Just know that whoever HE is, doesn't deserve you if he doesn't love you for who YOU are, not what you look like. You don't have to be skinny to have sex. You just have to be confident. When it comes to sex, trust me, your size won't matter because the pleasure that comes along with it will overwhelm him.
With that being said, there are many ways to get over these feelings. You can change everything you don't like about yourself. Lose weight, buy new clothes, give yourself a makeover :D
Just know that if you decide to lose weight, do it for YOURSELF. And do it because you want to feel confident. The more you accept your appearance, the more you will love yourself. That's why some people, regardless of how big or small they are, are so happy. Because they accept themselves. :) Good luck, and don't be in such a rush to lose your virginity unless it's with someone worth it!!
Uniq
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Everyone feels that way really, it's nothing to worry about, if anything you're too good for him. Just remember you can only lose your virginity once. I felt that way about my ex boyfriend I thought he was too good for me, but really no. Just don't worry he obviously likes you the way you are otherwise he wouldn't be dating you.
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looks arent everything. trust me.
if he wasnt attracted to you, he would NOT be with you. and thats a fact. take it from me, im 17 also with a boyfriend; i have this skin problem on my arms and legs that are basically little red bumps and they can get dry and have white spots and stuff, but to the say the least, it makes me very self concious, and alot of people always mention it to me and are like, "uhm what IS that." and im really pale, so hahaa, it stands out even more :/ and i always where long sleeve shirts, even in the summer sometimes, because i want to hide it from my boyfriend the most, because i dont want him to be like ewwwww and then think that im not good enough for him with my imperfections.. like i never wanted to him to think that i wasnt really pretty or flawless enough..
but EVERYONE has flaws, and if you spend your life worrying about them, its going to affect the way people see you. your attitude is what stands out the most, if you hold yourself with confidence, people notice THAT more than they notice if you think you look a little curvy.
i feel this way every day of my life. and im going to have to live with it for the rest of my life, and theres nothing i can do about it. youre beautiful in all of your imperfections :] trust me, a "perfect" girl ISNT real, and your boyfriend thinks your beautiful, i promise. curves are better than being stick thin because theres no curves and it looks unhealthy. magazines and sex appeal ads with these really skinny girls are just what society wants us to think is ideal, but its not and alot of guys arent into that, youd be surprised.
so just be CONFIDENT. seriously, confidence is a HUGE turn on for guys, if you hide behind your insecurities, youre just hurting yourself.. so dont :] and talk to your boyfriend, tell him ow you feel. that always works with me. and once he realizes how you feel, he'll reassure you. because it doesnt occur to him that you feel this way because to him, youre the most beautiful girl in the world. communication is key. he probably has some insecurities about himself that he'll want to share with you too.
i hope i helped, and just be CONFIDENTTTT :] itll take some work, but youll get there. i promise, good luck, and if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me, xxo.
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First of all, you need to know if your ready. You should never just have sex with someone, at least make sure that you can see yourself with that person in the future, not just for a one night stand. And if you are ready, then if the guy really cared about you and not what you looked like, he wouldn't care if you were skinny or not. We are who we are. No one has a perfect body. We are all unique in our own way!
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Hey there..
oh I think youve just described the feelings of insecurity that almost ALL of us girls feel from time to time.
I know exaactly how you feel..
Im not overweight..but im not stick thin..ive curves and for a while I hated them I couldnt bare for my boyfriend to touch me,I thought hed feel disgusted by it. Honestly though its all in our heads.
Guys actually don't care they lovee curves..well most.
The biggest turn off is bones sticking out all over the place trust me.
If you and your boyfriend have decided to have sex its because he loves YOU for you. Not your appearance or anything else don't tell yourself your not beautiful or skinny enough because for one you more then likely are! even if you don't think it id put money on it that you are to him!
keep reminding yourself of theese things and just put the negative out of your head.
If your finding it hard to shake theese feelings then maybe confide in your boyfriend..thats what hes there for right? sometimes all we need is a little reassurance :)
I really hope this helped and that you start thinking more positively about your body and relax and just enjoy it :)
good luck and much <3
Jess
16/f
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wh0re.. haha j/k.. umm just get over the feelings and if that asshole likes you for your looks and wants you to have a skinny body.. then FUCK THAT LOSER.. your too good for him! forget that asshole!!! ♥
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It't not a matter of getting over these feelings. You just need to make sure that you are ready. Don't set a date...like this summer... just take it as "when it happens, it happens" :) If you are both ready, you won't worry about being beautiful or skinny or too good... it'll just happen....sex is awesome. I enjoy it on a regular basis...Just be sure that you are ready, and careful. Trust me, if this is his first time, he'll be too nervous to even care what you look like. Talk eachother through it.....its fun!! Good Luck!!
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if you can't love your body, how could anyone else? This is a sex question, but I think the bigger issue is your self-image. I'd try to exercise a little bit more - take the stairs etc - and see if 'he' notices.
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Don't worry not being thin and pretty doesn't stop you from having sex boys like more curves I know my boyf loves me and i'm curvy and i'm no where near pretty look you can be any size or look anyway nobody can tell you your any different your unique
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I bet that he thinks that you're too good for him! Theres absolutely no way that he would be with you if he thought you werent good enough for him! You just need to remember this whenever you feel your self confidence needs a little boost. Once you've lost your virginity you'll wonder why you ever felt like this i promise! good luck!
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just think that yes you are good enough. and if you still aren't sure just talk to him. be honest with him
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think of it this way. even tho you personaly dont think your drop dead gorgeous. it doesn't mean he thinks that. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. so let your bf think of how you look and oyu think how you look. so dont worry about how you look cause your bf obviously loves you enough already and your body sholdn't change a thing. hope i helped.
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So you have it planned? I have always heard it is better left unplanned. But if you do feel like this its normal! Just about every girl does this because were not perfect. There is no perfect body! You can only do so much for your body excersize, tan, etc. But try to feel comfortable with yourself! bad advice today sorry!
~ KiNkYfORbLiNK182
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Yeah, your critical about your body thats all...every girl is. Honestly, the fact that your boyfriend will be getting sex..he wont even cake what you look like naked. He'll just be happy hes finally gonna have sex with you, so yeah! Really, its not like hes gonna stop and be like "I cant do this, your not skinny enough.." So dont worry!!
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