Q: Okay. I'm 22/f, he's 28/m. No comments on the age difference, please; it's pretty irrelevant.
So, Joe and I have known each other for years. We dated for awhile last year, but I screwed up and broke it off to get back together with my evil ex. We got back together a couple of months ago, and I'm beyond grateful that he gave me a second chance.
Joe and I are incredibly close; he's my best friend, and I'm his. We're even talking about moving in together, which I've never even considered with a guy before. I'm a very closed-off person in general, I value honesty, and I don't get along well with my own gender.
Therein, though, lies the problem. Most of my close friends are guys I grew up with. Joe says he trusts me, and I believe him. He says the fact that I'm close with these guys makes him feel like he's not providing for me enough emotionally. He thinks when you're in a good relationship, your significant other becomes the one person you go to for emotional and physical fulfillment. The thing is, I really DO turn to Joe for everything. He's the first person I call when I'm upset, or happy, or anything; he completes me in ways I could never have imagined.
I have friends of all genders, ethnicities, sexual orientation, ages - everything. I tried to explain to him that the guys I talk to might as well be girls, because I treat all my friends equally, and in my mind they are all equal, but he disagreed.
Joe said he might feel better if he was involved in all the conversations with them, but that's just not physically possible. I'll chat with them for a couple of minutes on line, and I even show Joe the transcripts, but it's not enough.
I offered to arrange for him to meet them, but he doesn't even want to meet a couple of them, ever. One of them I posed nude for for a photography project, and obviously, Joe doesn't like that. I hate that I did it, and I never would now, and I expressed that to him...but I didn't hide it from him because I want him to know everything about me. He feels that this particular friend is immoral, and that what he asked me to do was degrading and insulting to me.
Anyway, these guy friends are like family to me, just like my few girl friends. I desperately don't want to lose them, or lose myself, but I also desperately don't want to lose Joe...I love him, and we're planning our future together.
I don't know what to do, or how to compromise on this. Is it appropriate for me to have close friends of the opposite sex? Am I wrong for wanting to keep them? Is Joe right in saying he should be the only one I turn to? Could this be because I left him before? Is he right in thinking my friends are immoral?
I'd really appreciate it if everyone, young and old, gay, straight, whatever, could answer. I feel like I don't know how to handle this at all, and I'd appreciate any and all opinions.
Thanks.
